Too Much of a Good Thing (2020)

Mission 100: Reconsider My Foolish Notion [Scarlett]
"okay jakey same drill as last time; guard my bath and only come in if i yell 'RIBOFLAVIN'" "you can count on me" Scarlett turns and grabs her rubber ducky and heads into the bath. She begins to sing a jolly tune. "♫well i guess it would be nice if i could touch your body♫" As Jakey bops along to the tune, Sara, of all people, climbs the stairs and pulls out a notecard. "hello sir slash madam i am here to deliver to you an exciting opportunity in the world of high fin ance" "uh not interested" "oh sorry jakey i meant to deliver my exciting sales pitch to scarlett not you" "she's in the bath and not to be disturbed" "♫'CAUSE I GOTTA HAVE FAITH I GOTTA HAVE FAITH I GOTTA HAVE FAITH-A-FAITH-A-FAITH I GOTTA HAVE FAITH-A-FAITH-A-FAITH♫" "i NEED to talk to her about these investment opportunities!!! she will be LIVID if she misses out!!!" "no admittance" "you can take a bubbly bath anytime; this is a once in a lifetime opportunity!!! or so i am told" "well, that's the risk you run when you live the tub life" "fine, i'll just ask michelle instead" Michelle looks up from her toy trucks on the other side of the hall. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/investment opportunities t-shirt]

Mission 101: Costs an Alm and a Leg [Scarlett]
"okay jakey same drill as last time; guard my bath and only come in if i yell 'RIBOFLAVIN'" "you can count on me" Scarlett turns and grabs her rubber ducky and heads into the bath. She begins to sing a jolly tune. "♫you got me runnin' goin' out of my mind♫" As Jakey bops along to the tune, Father Brucie ascends the staircase, holding the collection plate. "my son, i need to collect money for the church" "oh yeah, take some of mine" Jakey places a stack of bills onto the collection plate. "thank you, my son, now to go and get some money from my daughter, scarlett" "no admittance" "♫DON'T BRING ME DOWN, BRUCE♫" "see, she's calling for me" "telling you not to bring her down" "which i won't do; i will lift her spirit up to heaven after a large donation" "i'll give you a double donation just leave scarlett to her bath" Jakey slaps more money onto the collection plate. "thank you, my son" Father Brucie leaves the manor, content. "sometimes, i think maybe their plan is to just get twice the money out of me" Michelle walks up to Jakey and holds her hand out. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Father Brucie missions]

Mission 102: Take All the Blame [Scarlett]
"okay jakey same drill as last time; guard my bath and only come in if i yell 'RIBOFLAVIN'" "you can count on me" Scarlett turns and grabs her rubber ducky and heads into the bath. She begins to sing a jolly tune. "♫my baby's always dancin' and it wouldn't be a bad thing♫" As Jakey bops along to the tune, Gwendolyn crests the stairs. "hello sir slash madam i am here to provide you with a once in a lifetime offer; how many times have you been sitting in your bubbly bath when suddenly a salesman slash saleswoman knocks on your door and begins" Gwendolyn flips over her note card. "speaking at you in a monotone and promises to provide you with a once in a lifetime offer?" "gwendolyn i already told you i'd donate to your thing" "yeah well i felt bad pinning it all on you so i decided to try and collect from other people, like miss scarlett here; she's loaded" "well, she's also busy" "♫DON'T BLAME IT ON THE SUNSHINE DON'T BLAME IT ON THE MOONLIGHT DON'T BLAME IT ON THE GOOD TIMES BLAME IT ON THE BOOGIE♫" "come on let me in; we're burning moonlight here" "no, gwendolyn, i've got it covered; don't worry" "okay i'm going to lay it out truthfully: the quota has increased to thirty plans a day" "THIRTY?!" "yeah i didn't want to bother you for THAT much money" "no no it's fine take it" Jakey slams a bunch of bills into Gwendolyn's hands. "no i can't-" "yes, you can; go, have fun; frolic in the moonlight" "it has been a while since i've had a good frolic" "go, enjoy yourself" "okay" Gwendolyn leaves the manor to frolic back home, and Michelle frolics her way into the manor. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Gwendolyn missions]

Mission 103: Home is Where the Heart Is [Azalea]
Jakey enters Azalea's cabin for the first time in several years, and is immediately blinded by bright neon signs hung all over the walls. "jesus azalea why do you have this many neon signs" "it reminds me of home; where everything is blindly neon in the cold dark night" "i can't see" "oh right; you don't have bio-engineered eyes like i do; let me turn these off real quick" Azalea presses a button, and the room turns pitch black. "i still can't see" "all you do is complain; i can see perfectly fine" "i think i'm blind" Azalea sighs and lights a candle. "oh, hi" "hi; what brings you around here" "i realised i hadn't visited in years and i'm probably not going to visit for several more" "fair enough; my cabin's rustic-slash-futuristic aesthetic may be too much for the present day humans to handle" "may just be" Michelle walks into the cabin, carrying a box filled with even more neon signs. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/neon sign appears at safehouses]

Mission 104: Inspection Rejection [Ruth]
"jakey you FUCK my boss chewed me out for half an hour for not being able to inspect your vehicle" "i was kind of running for my life" "well now it's time for the most scrutinising VEHICLE INSPECTION you've ever seen" "go ahead; i've got nothing to hide" Ruth inspects The Motherfucker up and down, but is unable to find even a single flaw. "okay fine you passed but you're not going to pass my gruelling INTERNET SEARCH HISTORY INSPECTION" "joke's on you; i use private browsing" "DAMMIT" Ruth kicks a nearby trash can clean down the hill. "so uh you hungry?" "yeah, fine" Ruth begrudgingly hops into The Motherfucker with Jakey and heads down to a restaurant to eat. Their food is served by Michelle. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/internet search history t-shirt]

Mission 105: The Sweet Life [Victorrhea]
"hey jakey check out my sweet new surgery scar" "it's smaller than i'd imagined" "yeah i was impressed" "what was the surgery for" "oh yeah it was way cool; apparently the timinchinitis caused my stomach acid to get even more acidic for a little bit and melt a part of my stomach lining so they had to patch it up and give me this sick new iv drip" "you seem to be taking your illness in stride" "yeah, if i talk about it like it's totally radical, i almost start to believe it" "so do you have any sick-nasty procedures lined up for the future" "no, i'm taking it easy for a bit before my annual bone marrow transplant" "that doesn't sound pleasant" "oh, it isn't, but i'm glad the hospital keeps me on the straight and marrow" "um nice pun" "thanks i worked really hard on it" "so uh you hungry?" "yeah, but i can't eat solid foods for another two days so" "oh sorry" "it's fine; at least i don't have it as bad as her" Victorrhea points over at Michelle. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/bone marrow t-shirt]

Mission 106: Breaking the Silence [Father Brucie]
"forgive me, father, for i have sinned" "again? if i had a nickel for every confession you've done, i'd be a billionaire" "well-" "it's fine, though; as long as your sin does not involve me or my shit, you're good" "okay cool" "so what was your sin that you wanted to be forgiven for" "uh i forgot" "oh well i'm sure it was nothing; YOU ARE FORGIVEN" "thanks" Jakey exits the confession booth, singing a jolly tune. "♫take me down to the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty♫" Jakey bumps into Michelle. "♫oh, won't you please take me home♫"
[reward: respect +/FORGIVENESS t-shirt]

Mission 107: We're Caught in a Trap [Gwendolyn]
"well it's been fun but uh i've got to get going i have a thing" "is it a videogames for the internet thing" "uh yeah totally" "can i come i love videogames" "uh no it's very exclusive" "exclusives don't matter to me i have every system" Gwendolyn slaps her face with her hand. "listen i've got to go so you just like stay here and i'll bring you back a donut or something" "fine" Gwendolyn leaves the room, and Jakey watches from the window. When she passes a building, Jakey leaps out his window and begins to tail her. Eventually, she reaches a large door, and enters a building. Jakey strolls up to the building and jiggles the handle. A slit in the door opens up, and a pair of eyes greets him. "what's the password" "password?!" "no that was last week's password" The slit slams shut, and Jakey is denied access. "oh ho ho you may be laughing inside your building now but you will see: he who laughs last laughs best after all" The door swings open, and Michelle emerges from within. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Sheriff Antony missions]

Mission 108: I Can't Walk Out [Sheriff Antony]
"sheriff there's an illegal thing happening at this address" "uh THIS address? oh um i'll go check it out you know ALONE" "what?!" "it's way too dangerous for you jakey" "my blood is filled with mythical objects that grant me pretty much immortality!!!" "pretty much isn't complete; you'd better stay behind" "fine" Sheriff Antony hops onto his horse, and spurs hard. Jakey subtly follows him, and sees him heading through the door. Jakey walks up to the door and knocks. "what's the password" "i'm with the sheriff" "no he specifically told me that you're not and that you're really bad at trying to be sneaky" The slit slams shut, and Jakey is denied access. The door swings open, and Michelle emerges from within. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Special Agent Grace missions]

Mission 109: Because I Love You Too Much, Baby [Special Agent Grace]
"grace there's something suspicious happening at this address" "uh THIS address? oh um i'll go check it out you know ALONE" "not again" "jakey as your sworn and loyal protector, i simply cannot allow myself to expose you to anything dangerous OR supicious even if you're basically immortal" "fine" Grace heads out for the address, and Jakey subtly follows her. Grace enters the building with no trouble, so Jakey approaches and knocks. "what's the password" "i'm with the girl who just entered" "no you're not; she specifically told me that you are not allowed to enter" The slit slams shut, and Jakey is denied access. The door swings open, and Michelle emerges from within. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Valerie missions]

Mission 110: Why Can't You See [Valerie]
"valerie i have an official assignment for you" "o-okay!!! i-i-i'm r-ready!!!" "i need you to dig a tunnel into the building at this address" "uh TH-THIS a-address?! i-i-i'll t-try b-but a-alone y-you know i-it's d-dangerous i-if th-the b-building collapses" "i'm practically immortal" "j-jakey i-i-i c-couldn't b-bear to l-lose y-you p-please" "fine" Valerie heads out for the address, and Jakey subtly follows her. Valerie enters the building with no trouble, so Jakey approaches and knocks. "what's the password" "i'm with the girl who just entered" "that won't work no matter how many times you try it" The slit slams shut, and Jakey is denied access. The door swings open, and Michelle emerges from within. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/The Great Cheryl missions]

Mission 111: What You're Doing to Me? [The Great Cheryl]
"the great cheryl i need to pay for a teleportation" "okay load up the cash and give me the address" Jakey hands The Great Cheryl a slip of paper. "uh THIS address? i can't there's a uh anti-magic shield" "really?" "yeah sorry i know; shameful i'm going to teleport off in shame" The Great Cheryl teleports out of the room, and Michelle teleports in. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Resistance Leadour missions]

Mission 112: When You Don't Believe a Word I'm Saying? [Resistance Leadour]
"ressie i need you to resist you and i not being in the building at this address" "uh THIS address? i can do it for me but i don't want to put you in any danger; only top-level resistours can go in" "oh come on-" Before Jakey's eyes, Resistance Leadour has disappeared, resisting not being in the building. "goddammit" Michelle enters Resistance Leadour's home, resisting licking a big lollipop. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/River-Girl missions]

Mission 113: We Can't Go on Together [River-Girl]
"RIVER-GIRL there is a water-related emergency at this address!!! we have to go right now!!!" "uh THIS address? thanks for telling me i'd better go fix it right away bye" River-Girl zooms off on a huge wave of water, leaving Jakey in her wake. "i'm starting to feel really left out" Michelle pats Jakey on the back. "it's okay big bro you can take me home"
[reward: respect +/Unimportant missions]

Mission 114: With Suspicious Minds [Unimportant]
"unimportant it's terrible they're making frowny stacks at this address!!! you'd better get your gun and shoot the building until you can get inside and then shoot the machine making them until it breaks!!!" "uh THIS address? are you sure you're not mistaken" "i know what i saw" "like, seriously, did you just like scribble the numbers hastily so your sixes look like threes or like just mishear the name of the street as 'shoe street' when it's actually 'chew street' or maybe 'jew street'" "yes i'm sure" "well i'll go check and bring my gun just in case" Unimportant heads over to the address, and Jakey subtly follows her. Unimportant enters the building with no trouble, so Jakey approaches and knocks. "what's the password" "pink flamingo" "it's not tuesday" The slit slams shut, and Jakey is denied access. The door swings open, and Michelle emerges from within. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Olivia missions]

Mission 115: And We Can't Build Our Dreams [Olivia]
"olivia someone called orcs backwards savages and also said green skin is unappealing and your coarse hair is not stylish" "WHAT LET ME AT THEM MY COARSE HAIR IS TOTALLY STYLISH" Jakey hands Olivia a slip of paper. "uh THIS address? well i'll uh have to go give that guy a piece of my mind then" Olivia heads over to the address, and Jakey subtly follows her. Olivia enters the building with no trouble, so Jakey approaches and knocks. "what's the password" "goldeen need log" "wrong building" The slit slams shut, and Jakey is denied access. The door swings open, and Michelle emerges from within. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Natalie missions]

Mission 116: On Suspicious Minds [Natalie]
"natalie i need a lawyer to help me get into the building at this address" "uh THIS address? afraid that's out of my jurisdiction" "you're a lawyer not a cop" "excuse me, are you the one who took eight years of law school?" "eight? i thought it was seven" "for shitty lawyers, maybe; i have an extra year of knowledge under my belt" "shame that extra year of knowledge doesn't seem like it's enough to help me when i'm in need" "shame indeed" Natalie walks off, and out of the building, and Jakey subtly follows her. Unimportant enters the building with no trouble, so Jakey approaches and knocks. "what's the password" "abcd1234" "not a chance" The slit slams shut, and Jakey is denied access. The door swings open, and Michelle emerges from within. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Ruth missions]

Mission 117: So if an Old Friend I Know [Ruth]
"ruth the building at this address is in DIRE need of an inspection" "uh THIS address? oh i'll definitely get right on that bye" Ruth zips off for the address, and Jakey subtly follows her. Ruth enters the building with no trouble, so Jakey approaches and knocks. "what's the password" "too much of a good thing" "eugh" The slit slams shut, and Jakey is denied access. The door swings open, and Michelle emerges from within. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Amber missions]

Mission 118: Drops by to Say Hello [Amber]
"amber the building at this address is serving the best faerie wings ever" "uh THIS address? that's cool i'll go right now bye" Amber flies off for the address, and Jakey subtly follows her. Amber enters the building with no trouble, so Jakey approaches and knocks. "what's the password" "LOTTA LOYALTY FOR A HIRED GUN" "eugh" The slit slams shut, and Jakey is denied access. The door swings open, and Michelle emerges from within. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Captain Morgan missions]

Mission 119: Would I Still See Suspicion in Your Eyes? [Captain Morgan]
"hey there's some hot treasure at this address ripe for the plunder" "uh THIS address? cool cool i'll plunder the shit out of it" Captain Morgan sails off for the address, and Jakey subtly follows her. Morgan enters the building with no trouble, so Jakey approaches and knocks. "what's the password" "shiver me timbers" "no" The slit slams shut, and Jakey is denied access. The door swings open, and Michelle emerges from within. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Sophia missions]

Mission 120: Here We Go Again [Sophia]
"sophia i-" Jakey pauses as he realises he is speaking into an empty apartment. "oh right; she died" Jakey makes a half-assed cross motion across his chest. "rip" Jakey curses his luck, as surely Sophia would have been the one to get him into the building in some fashion. "oh well; come on michelle" Michelle follows Jakey out to The Motherfucker. "thank you for agreeing to take me home"
[reward: respect +/Julia missions]

Mission 121: Asking Where I've Been [Julia]
"julia i've found the TRUE source of the counterfeit permits; it is at this address" "uh THIS address? you must be mistaken but uh i'll check it out anyway" Julia zips off for the address, and Jakey subtly follows her. Julia enters the building with no trouble, so Jakey approaches and knocks. "what's the password" "do you have a permit to ask for the password?!" "no" The slit slams shut, and Jakey is denied access. The door swings open, and Michelle emerges from within. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/King Bran missions]

Mission 122: You Can't See These Tears are Real I'm Crying [King Bran]
"king bran please help i need a royal decree to get me into the building at this address" "uh THIS address? sorry it's out of my uh kingly jurisdiction but uh i'll go talk to them you know" King Bran zips off for the address, and Jakey subtly follows her. Julia enters the building with no trouble, so Jakey approaches and knocks. "what's the password" "by royal canadian decree, i DEMAND you open this door" "no" The slit slams shut, and Jakey is denied access. The door swings open, and Michelle emerges from within. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Jakey missions]

Mission 123: Oh, Let Our Love Survive [Jakey]
It's become increasingly obvious to Jakey that no one is going to help him get inside the building. He walks up to the door to the building and knocks hard. "what's the password" Jakey pulls out a gun and unloads an entire magazine into the slit, but the bullets bounce back and hit him in the face. "that's definitely not it" The slit slams shut, and Jakey is denied access. The door swings open, and Michelle emerges from within. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/bounced bullets t-shirt]

Mission 124: Or Dry the Tears from Your Eyes [Jakey]
Jakey places explosive charges at the base of the door, and wires up a detonator a safe distance away. Jakey presses down hard on the plunger, triggering an explosion. "what's the password" "FUCK" "no that's not it" The slit slams shut, and Jakey is denied access. The door swings open, and Michelle emerges from within. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/explosive plunger jacket]