St. Patrick's Day Special 2020

ST. PATRICK'S DAY SPECIAL AND SHIT:
"anything good on tv" "oh yeah i just discovered this great new channel that runs infomercials 24 and also 7" "sick now i don't have to wait for the wee hours of the morning to get my infomercial fix; have you bought anything yet" "oh yeah check it out" Bran holds up a small plastic card. "is that a credit card" "yeah it's the clovercard; the luckiest credit card in the world" "wow four leaves and everything" "hey you hungry? let's pop over to mcdonald's and give this thing a spin" "i'm game"
Bran opens the 20-piece chicken nugget he'd ordered at McDonald's. "let's see one two three [...] nineteen twenty TWENTY-ONE?!" "DUDE you got an extra nugget?!" "THE CLOVERCARD REALLY WORKS!!!" Jakey excitedly reaches for the medium french fries he'd ordered, which is somehow now a large. "DUDE" "THIS THING IS AMAZING" Bran looks over at Brucie and Taylor at the table next to him. "aw man, my burger is nothing but five buns" "my burger is just a wrapper full of mayonaise"
The next day, Bran eagerly awaits the reveal of the winning LottoBall numbers. "and the numbers are 1 23 47 35 and also 28" "DUDE THOSE ARE MY NUMBERS" "ALL HAIL THE CLOVERCARD!!!"
"so what are you up to now bran" "i used the almighty clovercard to bet on the cleveland browns at 14-to-1" "oh how's that going" "they lost" "i guess there are some things even the clovercard can't do" "oh well at least i've got all these winning lottery tickets and extra chicken nuggets to cheer me up" "amen"
THE END