Four Days After Halloween Special 2020

HALLOWEEN SPECIAL AND SHIT:
"so what are you going to do this year for halloween since svart's costume party has been cancelled due to the re-emergence of the black plague" "well you know how it's always been my goal to hold hands with and kiss many different types of girl on the face right" "yeah" "well i am going to hold hands with bloody mary and kiss her on the face" "oh cool i'm going to leave the neighbourhood and not come back until hanukkah" "see you later bran"
Jakey stands in front of the bathroom mirror, fully-showered and as groomed as he'll ever get. "BLOODY MARY BLOODY MARY BLOODY MARY" Just then, a figure starts to emerge from the mirror: a woman with blood-red hair, blood-red eyes, and blood streaming down her entire naked body. "hello miss bloody mary; i brought these flowers for you" Bloody Mary is taken aback, as no one has presented her with flowers before; just screaming. Bloody Mary's face begins to redden. "i have prepared for us a candlelit dinner if you are interested" Jakey holds out his hand, and Bloody Mary, in a panic, drives her hands through his chest. "i'll take that as a no"
Jakey wakes up the next afternoon, covered from head to toe in blood that is not his own. "i am going to assume that she gave me a hug for my own sake" He walks down to the dining room to see the table also covered in blood, the fine pepperoni pizzas devoured. "i'm glad she enjoyed the meal at least" He exits the house to see the exterior completely covered in blood as well. "well that saves me the trouble of repainting it i suppose" Jakey opens his mailbox, despite the fact that it is a Sunday, and a torrent of blood rushes out until all that remains is a note. "'dear sir: thank you for the meal; find enclosed as payment nude photographs of myself' OH BOY"
THE END