Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] IV: A Choose-Your-Own Adventure

CHAPTOUR NINE:
Eif takes the Prack and looks at it. Andy Prack comes up to Eif and steals his Prack! "curse you andy prack!!!" "hello i am wu zi mu" "old" "NO U" "NO ME" "also this guy here is a drug dealer" "wow" Eif runs to the Pleasure Domes. "hey are you jizzman" "why yes i am" "i would like to work for you" "okay go steal a shipment of Prack" Eif steals the shipment of Prack. "thanks dawg" "FUCK YOU DIE YOU FUCKING PUSHER PIMP" "wat" "I WILL KILL YOU I AM NOT AFRAID" "I\'m sorry that I offended your delicate sensibilities." Eif shoots Jizzman in the head. "ow" Jizzman falls to the ground, lifeless. Eif walks off into the sunset, a single tear streaming down his cheek. EIf then proceeds to sell the Prack to buy food for him. However, he sold the Prack to Andy Prack! Andy Prack skips away joyfully.
WHAT DOES EIF DO

chucks a pokeorb at Andy Prack

CHAPTOUR TEN:
Eif chucks a Pokeorb at Andy Prack, which bounces off. Eif hears a click. Eif rushes over to the Pokeorb and releases Kricketune! "hello" "hello" "how do you feel" "NO U" "NO ME" "EIF GET OVER HERE NOW" "NO U" "NO ME" Eif heads to the desert. "hello it's me toreno" "who" "just this guy" Eif buys the airstrip. "now do pilot school "I'M IN HIGH SCHOOL NOW YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO" "NO U" "NO ME" Eif spends five years doing pilot school. "hey come to my casino" "NO U" "NO ME" Eif heads to the casino. "hey we're gonna rob this other casino" "great" "great" Eif robs the casino. "hey we need another base in los santos" "NO U" "NO ME"
WHAT DOES EIF DO

whores himself out to beautiful women in order to get the money he needs to buy out burger shot and use their los santos branch as a base and selling the rest to well stacked pizza to buy food for him

CHAPTOUR ELEVEN:
Eif steps out into the streets of Los Santos and begins the long, arduous process of whoring himself out to women. After ten years of whoring on the streets, Eif finally gets enough money to buy Burger Shot. Eif takes up his position as manager and settles in for a nice profit. After a week, Eif sells the cash registers to buy food for him. After two weeks, Eif sells the employees to buy food for him. After the weeks, Eif sells the food to buy food for him. "hey the sweet is out of jail" "who" "just this guy" Eif goes over to rescue The Sweet. "hey the sweet i got this awesome base ov-" "U HAV 4GOT TH HOOD BRO" "NO U" "NO ME" Eif and The Sweet head back to Groove Street. "it's time for A REUNION" Eif and The Sweet hold auditions to replace Ryder and Big Smoke. The auditions go not-well, and only four candidates are any good. Eif must choose two of: Ringo, Len, OG Loc and Anders.
WHAT DOES EIF DO

eif chooses anders and len then romances anders

CHAPTOUR TWELVE:
Eif and The Sweet decide to let Anders play drums and Len play bass. The four walk off to Prack Stadium in Ireland and play a set including, but not limited to: The Mate Who, (I'm A) Harlequin Foetus Man, Give Me the Diamonds, (Show Me The) Way to Not be Such (A Guy) and Smells Like Teen Spirit. All of a sudden, Jack White hops up on stage. "hey eif guess who didn't learn their lesson last time i'll give you a hint it is eif eif i challenge you to a " "NO U" "NO ME" Jack White, Ringo and OG Loc take the stage. The two trios battle to the death, their licks pretty okay and their soloing not-bad. After ten seconds of grueling battle, Jack White falls to the ground. "i was supposed to be something " "old" Jack White collapses to the ground. "I\'m sorry that I offended your delicate sensibilities." "it's over eif we won" "NO U" "NO ME"

CHAPTOUR TWENTY-NINE:
Eif and the gang return home with Jack White being dead. "mistour president i" "save it the look on your face is enough" Eif and President Johnson embrace. A single tear streams down Eif's face, then lands on President Johnson's face, and begins the streaming process anew. Eif and President Johnson engage in a passionate kiss, and Eif carries President Johnson to bed for some HOT LOVIN TONIGHT. Michelle runs up to The Sweet and the two embrace. "eeewww" "get a room you two" "NO U" "NO ME"
"lo all" Stevman does a kneeslide, and plays a powerchord. "THAT'S OUR STEVMAN" Then Michelle's like "take me home'. THE END.

CHOOSE

both simultaneously

both simultaneously

Jakey

GUESS WHAT I FORGOT

JAKEY:
CHAPTOUR ONE:
Jakey walks down the cold streets of Harlemshire. It's raining. Jakey enters Starbucks and sets his laptop on a table. Jakey connects to Wi-Fi and finds the location of Phyllyp's gang in New Zealand. Jakey rockets up to the moon, and finds an exact clone of himself. "omg omg omg" "omg omg omg" Jakey puts the exact clone of himself in his inventory.
Jakey heads to Spain to save the president (president of the Sea Men oh yeah). "hey jakey would you like a cigarette" "NO U" "NO ME" Jakey storms out of the police van, disgusted. Jakey enters a house and finds a man burning hard, fibrous wood in his fireplace.
WHAT DOES JAKEY DO

force the man at gunpoint to tell him a scary spanish folk tale thought to be of minimal importance but in actuality it is the foreshadowing to the events of the rest of the story

then put the man in jake's inventory because he's feeling lonely

gives him 100 silver so that he can leave spain and begin a new life far from the trials and tribulations of

and then puts on a speedo

CHAPTOUR TWO:
The man expresses regret at the life he wasted. "if only i had taken that job as a male prostitute" Jakey feels bad for the man and gives him 100 silver to start a new life. The man thanks Jakey and gives him the diamonds. Jakey then shoves the man in his inventory.
Jakey walks into town and finds the body of an officer burning. "guys thanks i mean he was such a" The villagers attack Jakey. "WTF GUYS AFTER ALL WE'VE BEEN THROUGH" A chainsaw motherfucker bursts through the wall. "OH THANK CHRIST IT'S YOU DENNIS dennis these guys are attacking me help!!!" Dennis hacks Jakey's head off. "thanks dennis" Jakey heads through the village and farm and finds a cupboard! "oh hey a cupboard" There are noises coming from within the cupboard.
WHAT DOES JAKEY DO

equips the cupboard to weapon slot 1

CHAPTOUR THREE:
Jakey equips the cupboard to weapon slot one, but a guy falls out! "hey i'm jack white " "old" "butthurt " "" "omg it's the big guy " "hello" "hello" The Big Guy grabs Jakey by the throat. "i love you too, the big guy!!!" The Big Guy chucks Jakey at the cupboard destroying it. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
Jakey and Jack White wake up in a warehouse. "hey it's me " "hello" "hello " "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" Axe Guy comes in. "hello" "hello" Axe Guy attempts to chop Jakey and Jack White in half! "butthurt"
WHAT DOES JAKEY DO

use the master ball on axe guy!!!! it's the only hope!!!

then sell the guy-in ball to the black market for mass profit

Offer a deal with The Big Guy; Jack White in return for Jakey's freedom.

he tells on axe guy that'll show him

CHAPTOUR FOUR:
Jakey takes out his Masterorb. Jakey closes his eyes and chucks. The Masterorb hits the ceiling, the wall, the axe, the cat and finally Axe Guy! Axe Guy is caught! Jakey nicknames him "Ken". Jakey walks triumphantly to the hallway. "HELLO STRANGER" "DEAUAUGH" "COME MEET ME OUT BACK STRANGER" Jakey readies his gun. A day of hard work in the Raccoon City Police Department have prepared him for this day. Jakey turns the corner and points his gun at the man. "NO YOU MISUNDERSTAND ME I SELL THINGS STRANGER" "NO U" "NO ME"
Jakey heads to The Big Guy's office. "hey axe guy totally tried to kill me" The Big Guy grabs Jakey by the throat. "we don't tolerate tattles here" The Big Guy chucks Jakey to the ground. "butthurt"
WHAT DOES JAKEY DO

send The Big Guy to bed without any supper

CHAPTOUR FIVE:
Jakey walks into The Big Guy's room and sends him to bed without dinner. The Big Guy gasps, horrified. Jakey walks outside, triumphant. "DENNIS" Dennis runs up to Jakey and hacks his head off. "thanks dennis" Jakey runs through some tunnels and finds a church. "wow" It's locked. "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU" Jakey finds the key. "yay" Jakey enters the church, and needs to decide whether to kick it in the front pew or to sit in the back pew.
WHAT DOES JAKEY DO