ADVENTURE
HEY MISTER CAN WE HAVE OUR BALL BACK

ADVENTURE

HEY MISTER CAN WE HAVE OUR BALL BACK
 
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 Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] V

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Jakeyadventure
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PostSubject: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] V   Sat Sep 24, 2011 3:29 pm

CHAPTOUR ONE:
Ainsley Harriott walks out of the bathroom, toweling off his scalp. The phone rings. "SORRY NOT OPEN FOR BUSINESS YET" Ainsley Harriott hangs up the phone. "WELL THAT WAS AWKWARD" Ainsley Harriott makes his horrific cramming face and walks over to the kitchen, where he sees Stu. "stu... wh-what are you doing" A single tear forms in Stu's left eye. "m-making chocolate pudding" "it's four o'clock in the morning... wh-why on earth are you making chocolate pudding" The single tear streams down Stu's face. "because i've lost control of my life" Ainsley Harriott gasps in horror, a single tear streaming down his cheek. Ainsley Harriott puts on his vest, socks and sandals and grabs Stu by the hand. The two run outside, and find Adam Lambert playing with some sticks. "HEY GUYS WHAT'S UP" "we're goin' on a ADVENTURE" "ooh i love adventure can i come" "NO U" "NO ME" Adam Lambert, Ainsley Harriott and Stu walk off towards their destiny and A HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHT
Taylor leaps at the harlequin foetus knight, slicing him in half. Bran runs towards the harlequin foetus knight's head, sword grinding against the ground. Bran releases his grip on the sword, sending it flying at the harlequin foetus knight, decapitating it. Jakey and Eif play strip poker. The harlequin foetus knight laughs, undamaged. "oh man it's gonna take some heavy firepower to take this guy on" Jakey runs to the other side of the room, and gets struck by a bolt of lightning. Lightning shoots from Jakey's hands at the harlequin foetus knight, destroying it instantly. "jakey stop attention-seeking" "but guys i didn't even do anything" "old"
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] V   Sat Sep 24, 2011 3:29 pm

CHAPTOUR TWO:
"halt" "wow this guy is pretty obnoxious" "i am obnoxious celtic guardian" "TWO POINTS FOR STU" "yay" "hooray" "so like you totally can't pass and stuff until you pay the obnoxious celtic toll" "what do you mean we have to pass three obnoxious celtic trials to pass" "sorry but those are the obnoxious celtic rules unless you want to face my obnoxious celtic sword" "not your obnoxious celtic sword!!!" "come on guys let's pass three obnoxious celtic trials" "oh by the way did you have any obnoxious celtic trials in mind, obnoxious celtic guardian" "nah i'm not picky" The three set off to find three Obnoxious Celtic Trials. "hey you should totally collect me three obnoxious celtic fire bear anals" They go the the Obnoxious Celtic Fire Bear caves and kill about a hundred Obnoxious Celtic Fire Bears, but no Obnoxious Celtic Fire Bear Anals are found. "fuck" "hey there's another over there" They kill the final Obnoxious Celtic Fire Bear and it drops fifty Obnoxious Celtic Fire Bear Anals. "..." "..." "..." They return the Obnoxious Celtic Fire Bear Anals to the Obnoxious Celtic Guy. "I SAID THREE" "fuck" "shit" "why have you forsaken me, lord" They load their last Obnoxious Celtic Save and kill a thousand more Obnoxious Celtic Fire Bears until they find one that drops exactly three Obnoxious Celtic Fire Bear Anals. They hand over the three Obnoxious Celtic Fire Bear Anals to the Obnoxious Celtic Guy and proceed deeper into the Obnxoious Celtic Town. "hey could you give me an obnoxious celtic back rub" "not it" "not it" "fuck" Stu gives the Obnoxious Celtic Man an Obnoxious Celtic Back Rub while the other two hunt for a final Obnoxious Celtic Trial and find AN OBNOXIOUS CELTIC HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHT
Taylor leaps at the harlequin foetus knight, slicing him in half. Bran runs towards the harlequin foetus knight's head, sword grinding against the ground. Bran releases his grip on the sword, sending it flying at the harlequin foetus knight, decapitating it. Jakey and Eif play strip poker. The harlequin foetus knight laughs, undamaged. "oh man it's gonna take some heavy firepower to take this guy on" Bran runs to the other side of the room, and gets struck by a bolt of ice. Ice shoots from Bran's hands at the harlequin foetus knight, destroying it instantly. "bran stop attention-seeking" "but guys i didn't even do anything" "old"

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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] V   Sat Sep 24, 2011 3:29 pm

CHAPTOUR THREE:
"so like um every year we have a big obnoxious celtic feast and obnoxious celtic parade and shit to celebrate the obnoxious celtic god of obnoxious celtic ps3 games but he never showers us with obnoxious celtic ps3 games so um what the fuck" "sounds like an obnoxious celtic trial to me!!!" "hooray!!!" "also you will need this obnoxious celtic gadget" The Obnoxious Celtic King of the Obnoxious Celtic Land of Obnoxious Celtic PS3 Games gives Adam Lambert his patented Obnoxious Celtic PS3 Game Tracker. "oh boy" Ainsley Harriott and Adam Lambert run to get Stu. "hey all we need to do to finish this next obnoxious celtic trial is find an obnoxious celtic god and force him to give us obnoxious celtic ps3 games" "but um" "what is it" "the obnoxious celtic ps3 um" "..." "the obnoxious celtic ps3 has no games" "FUCK" "but does it have obnoxious celtic games" "no" "FUCK" "but it's already officially our third obnoxious celtic trial!!!" "fuck my life" "guys i have an obnoxious celtic idea" "oh joy" "what if we trick them into thinking we did it" "oh wow" "wow" The three run back to the Obnoxious Celtic Palace. "MISTOUR OBNOXIOUS CELTIC KING GUY IT'S RAINING OBNOXIOUS CELTIC PS3 GAMES" "MY BOY YOU DID IT HERE TAKE THIS" The Obnoxious Celtic King of the Obnoxious Celtic Land of Obnoxious Celtic PS3 Games gives Adam Lambert an Obnoxious Celtic Trophy shaped like an Obnoxious Celtic PS3 Games. "hooray" The three strut back to Obnoxious Celtic Guardian. "hey we did it" "great" Obnoxious Celtic Guardian opens the Obnoxious Celtic Gate. "so like can i come with you and stuff" "um" "well i was told to guard this obnoxious celtic gate until someone passed three obnoxious celtic trials and um now i have nothing to do" "joy" Adam Lambert, Ainsley Harriott, Stu and Obnoxious Celtic Guardian wander off aimlessly and find AN OBNOXIOUS CELTIC HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHT
Taylor leaps at the harlequin foetus knight, slicing him in half. Bran runs towards the harlequin foetus knight's head, sword grinding against the ground. Bran releases his grip on the sword, sending it flying at the harlequin foetus knight, decapitating it. Jakey and Eif play strip poker. The harlequin foetus knight laughs, undamaged. "oh man it's gonna take some heavy firepower to take this guy on" Taylor runs to the other side of the room, and gets struck by a bolt of wind. Wind shoots from Taylor's hands at the harlequin foetus knight, destroying it instantly. "taylor stop attention-seeking" "but guys i didn't even do anything" "old"
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] V   Sat Sep 24, 2011 3:29 pm

CHAPTOUR FOUR:
The four get to Noeth and head to the pawn shoppe. "what will you be having today" "i would like to sell this obnoxious celtic sword" "wait what" "we all have to make sacrifices for the greater good, obnoxious celtic guardian" "i give as many obnoxious celtic fucks as there are obnoxious celtic games for the obnoxious celtic ps3" "sigh" "sigh" "sigh" "guess we need to sell something else to buy food for us" "okay" "sounds good" They head to the tavern, dejected. "hey it's me jack white" "fuck off jack white you're not that cool" "gasp i totally am take that back" "okay yeah i didn't mean it" "thanks" Ainsley Harriott, Stu, Adam Lambert, Obnoxious Celtic Guardian and Jack White wander off aimlessly. "why are we in this sewer" "i hear they have a great fondue here" "oh boy" "hey may i take your order" "i'll have a fondue" "i'll have a fondue" "i'll have a fondue" "i'll have a fondue" "i'll have a fondue" "great" "great" "great" "great" "great" "great" The waitress comes back with six fondues. "here is your fondue" "here is your fondue" "here is your fondue" "here is your fondue" "here is your fondue" "here is your fondue" "hey where's mine" "oh it'll be out in a minute" "great" "great" "great" "great" "great" "great" Suddenly, A HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHT
Taylor leaps at the harlequin foetus knight, slicing him in half. Bran runs towards the harlequin foetus knight's head, sword grinding against the ground. Bran releases his grip on the sword, sending it flying at the harlequin foetus knight, decapitating it. Jakey and Eif play strip poker. The harlequin foetus knight laughs, undamaged. "oh man it's gonna take some heavy firepower to take this guy on" Eif runs to the other side of the room, and gets struck by a bolt of fire. Fire shoots from Eif's hands at the harlequin foetus knight, destroying it instantly. "eif stop attention-seeking" "but guys i didn't even do anything" "old"
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] V   Sat Sep 24, 2011 3:30 pm

CHAPTOUR FIVE:
"hey guys the producer just told me that um we don't test well with the target demographic" "what" "they're gonna replace us with the original cast of sabrina" "oh that doesn't sound so bad" "yeah i love harvey" "and we won't get paid" "FUCK" "we have to do something exciting and fast!!!" Adam Lambert, Jack White, Ainsley Harriott, Stu and Obnoxious Celtic Guardian play BINGO. "b-6" "AW YEAH MOTHERFUCKERS I WIN AGAIN FUCKING BINGO FUCKERS" "i hate it when stu wins" "butthurt" "YEAH FUCK WOOH BINGO FUCK YEAH YOU GUYS SUCK I AM THE SUPREME BINGO GUY FUCK YEAH" "is he always like this" "you should see him when he loses" "... WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY" "NOTHING" "THAT'S RIGHT I AM STU, BINGO KING I NEVER LOSE" "great" "great" "great" "great" "great" "hey guys wanna play stick ball" "NO WE PLAY BINGO" "but stu you always win" "AND WINNER CHOOSES NEXT GAME IT'S IN THE CHARTER AND I, THE BINGO KING, STU, WON" "FUCK" Ainsley Harriott, Jack White, Adam Lambert and Obnoxious Celtic Guardian devise a plan to make stu lose at BINGO. Obnoxious Celtic Guardian gets obnoxious with the BINGO BALLS, while Jack White and Adam Lambert make a HAM radio out of chewing gum, a flashlight, a HAM radio and saltines. Ainsley Harriott concentrates on the task at hand, grimaces and rubs his scalp inappropriately. Then A HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHT
Taylor leaps at the harlequin foetus knight, slicing him in half. Bran runs towards the harlequin foetus knight's head, sword grinding against the ground. Bran releases his grip on the sword, sending it flying at the harlequin foetus knight, decapitating it. Jakey and Eif play strip poker. The harlequin foetus knight laughs, undamaged. "oh man it's gonna take some heavy firepower to take this guy on" Tony runs to the other side of the room, and gets struck by a bolt of earth. Earth shoots from Tony's hands at the harlequin foetus knight, destroying it instantly. "tony stop attention-seeking" "but guys i didn't even do anything" "old"
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] V   Sat Sep 24, 2011 3:30 pm

CHAPTOUR SIX:
"i can't believe you drank my last glass of arsenic!!!" "butthurt" Stu slaps Jack White with a white glove. "I CHALLENGE YOU TO STEELHEART CDS AT DAWN" "gasp" "gasp" "gasp" "okay" Adam Lambert stands in the centre of the field as dawn approaches, holding a case with five finely-made Steelheart CDs, a single tear streaming down his face. Jack White and Stu walk up and each grab a Steelheart CD. Jack White grabs a copy of Tangled in Reins for its balance and precision. Stu grabs a copy of Good 2B Alive for its sheer power. The two take five steps away from Adam Lambert in opposite directions, then spin on one heel to face eachother. Adam Lambert drops a white glove on the ground and backs away as Stu and Jack White chuck their Steelheart CDs at eachother. Stu takes a Tangled in Reins right to the eye and collapses to the ground, dead before he hits said ground. Jack White ducks and a Good 2B Alive skims right over his head. "phew" Adam Lambert walks over to Jack White and raises his arm into the air as a sign of his VICTOLY Then A HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHT
Taylor leaps at the harlequin foetus knight, slicing him in half. Bran runs towards the harlequin foetus knight's head, sword grinding against the ground. Bran releases his grip on the sword, sending it flying at the harlequin foetus knight, decapitating it. Jakey and Eif play strip poker. The harlequin foetus knight laughs, undamaged. "oh man it's gonna take some heavy firepower to take this guy on" Adrian runs to the other side of the room, and gets struck by a bolt of proud. Anal shoots from Mercutio's hands at the harlequin foetus knight, destroying it instantly. "phyllyp stop attention-seeking" "but guys i didn't even do anything" "old"
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] V   Sat Sep 24, 2011 3:30 pm

CHAPTOUR SEVEN:
"you get one phone call bro" Jack White dials the phone. "stu you've got to help me they're accusing me of murdering stu" "oh that sucks" "yeah i know" "i have an idea!!!" "oh boy" "i'll be your lawyer" "that's a great idea, stu!!! with you on my side the jury will be powerless to defeat me!!!" "old" "butthurt" Stu prepares his notes and walks up to the podium. "jack white, did you kill stu" "no" "there you have it folks" "sounds good to me" "yeah me too" "yeah" "all right" "yeah" "we find the defendant not guilty" "yay" "hooray" Jack White and Stu go to get ice cream. Stu gets a double-Washington Post cone with arsenic on top. Jack White gets a double cone, with Denver Post on top and Washington Post on the bottom. "dude gross" "well the denver post is bad but the washington post after is so much better because of it" "that sounds logical" Then A HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHT
Taylor leaps at the harlequin foetus knight, slicing him in half. Bran runs towards the harlequin foetus knight's head, sword grinding against the ground. Bran releases his grip on the sword, sending it flying at the harlequin foetus knight, decapitating it. Jakey and Eif play strip poker. The harlequin foetus knight laughs, undamaged. "oh man it's gonna take some heavy firepower to take this guy on" Phyllyp runs to the other side of the room, and gets struck by a bolt of shoe. Denver Post shoots from Ralph's hands at the harlequin foetus knight, destroying it instantly. "hectour stop attention-seeking" "but guys i didn't even do anything" "old"
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] V   Sat Sep 24, 2011 3:30 pm

CHAPTOUR EIGHT:
"okay what do you got" "pair of twos" "three threes" "full house, aces over kings" "four of a kind, motherfuckers" Stu begins to rake in his winnings. Adam Lambert puts his finger up to signal a halt and shakes his head, a smirk appearing on his face. "what you can't beat a four of a kind" "i can and i did" "wait you don't mean" "EXODIA THE FORBIDDEN ONE" "FUCK" "ALL MINE MOTHERFUCKERS" "dammit adam lambert" "i knew i should have banned pot of greed" "this is all orange's fault" "dammit orange" "whyyyyyy orange" Stu, Jack White, Ainsley Harriott and Obnoxious Celtic Guardian grab their pitchforks and torches and head to Orange's house. Adam Lambert sells the furniture to buy food for him. Ainsley Harriott politely knocks on Orange's door. "hello" "hello" "come in come in" "thanks" The four then begin torching all of Orange's valuables. "thanks for the tea btw" "don't mention it" Then A HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHT
Taylor leaps at the harlequin foetus knight, slicing him in half. Bran runs towards the harlequin foetus knight's head, sword grinding against the ground. Bran releases his grip on the sword, sending it flying at the harlequin foetus knight, decapitating it. Jakey and Eif play strip poker. The harlequin foetus knight laughs, undamaged. "oh man it's gonna take some heavy firepower to take this guy on" Phyllyp runs to the other side of the room, and gets struck by a bolt of it. Plot hax shoot from Craig's hands at the harlequin foetus knight, destroying it instantly. "geromy stop attention-seeking" "but guys i didn't even do anything" "old"
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] V   Sat Sep 24, 2011 3:30 pm

CHAPTOUR NINE:
"i'm hungry let's eat" Adam Lambert cuts up the chicken while Ainsley Harriott cuts up the vegetables. "hey guys we forgot shells" "WHAT" Ainsley Harriott drops his knife and runs to the grocery store. Ainsley Harriott grabs the pasta/sauce shelf and pulls it down. He grabs every shelf in sequence and pulls it down, breaking everything in the store. Ainsley Harriott then goes up the manager and grabs his collar. "HOW COULD YOU LET ME FORGET SHELLS" "sir i'm sorry bu-" Ainsley Harriott pulls out his gun, driving it into the temple of the manager. "HOW COULD YOU LET ME FORGET SHELLS" The manager sweats. "sir i'm-" "HOW COULD YOU LET ME FORGET SHELLS" Ainsley Harriott pulls the trigger, blowing the manager's brains out. "how could those motherfuckers let me forget the motherfucking shells" Ainsley Harriott grabs shells off the shelf and heads back to A HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHT
Taylor leaps at the harlequin foetus knight, slicing him in half. Bran runs towards the harlequin foetus knight's head, sword grinding against the ground. Bran releases his grip on the sword, sending it flying at the harlequin foetus knight, decapitating it. Jakey and Eif play strip poker. The harlequin foetus knight laughs, undamaged. "oh man it's gonna take some heavy firepower to take this guy on" Gerald runs to the other side of the room, and gets struck by a bolt of wake up. Doubles shoots from Harold's hands at the harlequin foetus knight, destroying it instantly. "phyllyp stop attention-seeking" "but guys i didn't even do anything" "old"
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] V   Sat Sep 24, 2011 3:30 pm

CHAPTOUR TEN:
The five walk into a factory. "hey kids we got a shipment of legendary swords but we have no use for legendary swords here have some legendary swords" "NO U" "NO ME" "butthurt" The six march off aimlessly and find a giant PS3 games. "taylor use your grass powers!!!" "i have wind powers" "wat" "why are you so useless taylor" The giant PS3 games eats the five. "well this sucks" "hey i have an idea let's BURN the ps3 games" "butthurt" "butthurt" "THAT WON'T WORK YOU RETARD" "but guys fire is super effective to ps3-" "butthurt" "i have an idea let's WIND the ps3 games" "that's brilliant!!!" "but guys fire" "stop being butthurt because wind is super effective against ps3 games" The five wind their way out of the giant PS3 games. "it sure is cold in the vacuum of space" "old" "butthurt" "old" The five float around aimlessly, when someone changes the HEY MISTER CAN WE HAVE OUR BALL BACK The five are emptied into the trash can and climb their way out. Then A HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHT
Taylor leaps at the harlequin foetus knight, slicing him in half. Bran runs towards the harlequin foetus knight's head, sword grinding against the ground. Bran releases his grip on the sword, sending it flying at the harlequin foetus knight, decapitating it. Jakey and Eif play strip poker. The harlequin foetus knight laughs, undamaged. "oh man it's gonna take some heavy firepower to take this guy on" Phyllyp runs to the other side of the room, and gets struck by a bolt of Dave. Baklava shoots from Guybrush's hands at the harlequin foetus knight, destroying it instantly. "yvel stop attention-seeking" "but guys i didn't even do anything" "old"
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] V   Sat Sep 24, 2011 3:31 pm

CHAPTOUR ELEVEN:
The five guys rush ahead to find a man. "oh guys it's sam totman!!!" "who" "just this guy" "hello jakey" "sam totman" "do you guys know where i can get some new grandparents" "we're going to avenge tony's uncle" "oh i never checked there before" "i don't even know who you are!!!" "i had grandparents once you know" "old" "but grandfather said i was wrong about the weather" "butthurt" "so i killed him and grandmother got in the way so she was a casualty" "i don't like your tone mistour" "old" Jakey draws his sword. Sam Totman laughs and draws his sword as well.
Sam Totman lunges towards Jakey with his sword outstretched, lopping his head clean off. Bran fires some swords at Sam Totman, but Sam Totman ducks under them, and slides on his back towards Bran, chopping his feet off. Bran falls backward, allowing Sam Totman to stab him in the stomach and tear his weapon straight through Bran's head. Sam Totman then casually strolls over to Tony, and gives him the power of not having grandparents. Sam Totman then shoots his hookshot at a nearby building and rappels up. Sam Totman looks back at Bran and Jakey's lifeless bodies, a single tear streaming down his cheek. Then Michelle's like "take me home".
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] V   Sat Sep 24, 2011 3:31 pm

CHAPTOUR TWELVE:
Jakey cautiously steps forward, but accidentally a pressure plate! The five side down a giant tube and fall into a dark room. "lo all" Stevman steps out of the darkness. "lo stevman" Stevman looks down on the five, weakened from the descent. "you know how there are seven elements" "yeah" "well there are actually eight" "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT" "darkness is the eighth" "but darkness is the sixth" "... oh" Stevman sweats. "well this is embarassing" "it's not your fault" "don't cry" Jakey and Eif comfort Stevman as he cries his heart out. "i had this speech all planned out and now well" A single tear streams down Stevman's cheek. "it's all right stevman" "we all make mistakes" Jakey and Eif pat Stevman slowly on the back, two single tears streaming down their respective cheeks.
"HEY MISTER CAN WE HAVE OUR BALL BACK" Ray chucks the ball at Tony, who catches it swiftly. "oh boy now we can go home!!!" "not so fast" Ray steps out from under cover of darkness. "i will never let you return home with that ball" "NO U" "NO ME" "rats" Ray launches a ray of darkness at Taylor, killing him instantly. Jakey charges up his sword with electricity and slices Ray's head off. Tony launches giant boulders at Ray's body, crushing him. Bran forms a giant cluster of ice inside the boulders, casuing them to explode and Ray's body to be impales with several shards of ice. Eif lights the body on fire, melting the ice and reducing Ray to ash. Taylor sweeps up the ash and dumps it in the ocean. Ray staggers back, clutching his chest. However, he staggers right into Tony's sword! Tony smirks and kicks Ray off of his sword. Ray's wounds glow bright white and he explodes in a bright light, leaving nothing behind. "you cannot defeat me i am invincible!!!" "well um fuck" "how do we beat this guy!!!" "i have an idea" "NOT AGAIN" Jakey drops his sword and runs up the wall. "BUT WHAT ABOUT GRAVITY JAKEY DOESN'T IT HAVE A SAY HERE" Jakey falls to the ground. "fuck" "well you tried" "hey i have an idea" Bran draws his gun. "THIS IS A FANTASY GAME BRAN WE DON'T HAVE GUNS" Bran's gun disappears. "fuck" "well you tried" "hey i have an idea" Eif chucks Taylor at Ray and the remaining four run off. "we will never forget his sacrifice" "you said it taylor"
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] V   Sat Sep 24, 2011 3:31 pm

CHAPTOUR THIRTEEN:
Tony and the gang return home with the ball. "mother i" "save it the look on your face is enough" Tony and his mother embrace. A single tear streams down Tony's face, then lands on his mother's face and begins the streaming process anew. Tony and his mother engage in a passionate kiss and Tony carries his mother to bed for some HOT LOVIN TONIGHT. Michelle runs up to Jakey and the two embrace. "eeewww" "get a room you two" "NO U" "NO ME"
"lo all" Stevman does a kneeslide and plays a powerchord. "THAT'S OUR STEVMAN" Then Michelle's like "take me home". THE END.
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