Pokémon Let's Fucking Go Alolan Vulpix

Be sure to read the other entries in the Pokémon series first: Pokémon InfernoRed and OceanBlue, Pokémon GlitteringGold and ShimmeringSilver, Pokémon VolcanicRuby and TidalSapphire, Pokémon InfiniteDiamond and BoundlessPearl, Pokémon EternityX and OblivionY, Pokémon BlazingSun and TranquilMoon, Pokémon Let's Fucking Go Pikachu, Pokémon Let's Fucking Go Marill, Pokémon Let's Fucking Go Skitty, Pokémon Let's Fucking Go Bidoof, and Pokémon Let's Fucking Go Flabébé.

CHAPTOUR ONE:
Thanks to Champion Luna's bold policy-making, Alolan citizens are from a young age able to find exciting career opportunities within the prestigous Team Skull, even if their names aren't "Grunt". A young girl named Helen joined with her partner Pokémon, Alolan Vulpix, or "Alolpix" for short. Due to Helen's prodigous displays of skill in Team Skull, she has been selected to take the gym challenge that Champion Luna put in place and become one of Team Skull's top battlers. Helen heads out to the first gym. "yo runner-up in the making; ilima's gym has a rodent problem so instead of calling an exterminator, he's decided to just have the trainers get rid of the ratattas" "seriously?" "yeah get to it"

CHAPTOUR TWO:
After getting Ilima's badge, Helen makes her way to Mallow's gym, which is just a forest. "oh good you're here help me make this potion" "what's it for" "your gym battle silly we can't have a gym battle without the potion!!!" "uh-" "okay so in this jungle, you need to get me a big mushroom and also some honey" "uh okay" Helen retrieves the items for Mallow, and she puts them into a big pot. "double bubble toilet trouble cauldron burn and attract snubbull" Mallow pours her potion into a bowl and begins to drink it. "thanks for getting me my lunch now let's have that battle GO LURANTIS" "GO ALOLPIX" "..." "..." "just take the damn badge"

CHAPTOUR THREE:
Helen next enters Ryuki's gym. "yo runner-up in the making; ryuki's gym is modelled after everyone's favourite kanto gym, the vermillion gym!!! two switches hide in these trash cans; you must flip them both but if you flip one then search a can that doesn't have a switch, the first switch will reset and shuffle to a different can!!!" "wow this kanto sounds like a real shithole" The gym friend slaps Helen across the face. "YOU DARE TO INSULT KANTO?!" Helen sighs and begins rummaging through trash cans with her bare hands.

CHAPTOUR FOUR:
"hello there friend i am sorry but you cannot come this way because my stoutland is searching for hidden items and it will not stop until it detects them all so please go some other way" "can't i just scoot around you" "NO STOUTLAND IS SEARCHING AND WILL NOT BE DISTURBED" Helen waits impatiently for the Stoutland to be done, which takes several hours. "okay you can go past now stoutland is satisfied" "oh finally" Helen takes three steps forward and trips over a hidden item, falling flat on her face.

CHAPTOUR FIVE:
Having collected the eight badges of Alola and defeated the Elite Four, Helen steps up to the champion's room, but Luna is nowhere to be found. "uh where-" "I'M HERE I'M HERE" Luna stumbles into the champion's room, dead tired. "uh are you okay you don't look so good" "i haven't slept in what feels like a year" "uh why" "the nightmares" "nightmares? is there a darkrai around?" "if only; every time i pass out from exhaustion i have the same nightmare about last year" "oh uh why don't you just catch a cresselia and get blessed with good dreams" "that's a great idea could you please go-" Luna passes out, and Helen leaves on her new quest. Just as Helen gets out the door, Luna wakes up screaming.

CHAPTOUR SIX:
After a long boat ride across the ocean to Sinnoh's Canalave City, Helen disembarks and begins her research. Since Darkrai's death a year ago, Cresselia has been constantly hanging around a villa on the battle frontier belonging to Sinnoh's champion, Dawn. Helen takes another boat out to the battle frontier, and hands the guards the permission slip that Luna had signed. But as soon as Helen sees the villa, she is tackled by Cynthia. "what are you doing here" "i'm here on orders of the alolan champion to capture cresselia" "so it's war is it?! champion dawn needs that cresselia to ensure sweet dreams!!! i will not allow you to disturb her sleep or my watching her sleep!!! HAVE AT YOU" Cynthia, for the first time in years, displays her full power and calls out her Garchomp. "wait wait no i-" "GARCHOMP USE EARTHQUAKE" Garchomp stomps its foot, creating an earthquake that splits the ground beneath Helen's feet and sends her tumbling down into the lava caves below. "cynthia did you just kill that girl" "hopefully" Dawn buries her face in her hands, then calls out Regigigas. "regigigas can you reach down in there and grab that girl" "wait a minute my back isn't what it used to be" Regigigas slowly kneels down, and gets into a prone position, then slowly moves its arm down into the crack. "don't get old like me dawn" "uh you got it regigigas" Regigigas scoops up Helen, and brings her back up to the surface. "hey i'm sorry about that; regigigas close up this hole in the earth" "RIGHT AWAY" Having gotten past its slow start, Regigigas quickly shoves the earth back together and patches it right up.

CHAPTOUR SEVEN:
After everything, Helen finally caught Cresselia after convincing Dawn that Lillie was way worse than Cynthia could ever hope to be. Returning to Alola, Helen gives Cresselia to Luna, and Luna instantly falls into a peaceful sleep.
Days later, Luna wakes up, finally rested. "thank you miss now allow me to thank you by giving you that Pokémon battle you wanted GO PIKACHU" "GO ALOLPIX" "PIKACHU USE IRON TAIL" Pikachu does as it's told, and Alolpix goes down without a struggle. "thanks again"
THE END