Pokémon JewelledCrown

Be sure to first read the other entires in the Pokémon series posted above this one in the navigation menu.

CHAPTOUR ONE:
After hearing from Mustard of a place to check out high in the mountains, Gloria arrives in the Crown Tundra. "IT'S F-F-F-F-F-FUCKING F-F-F-FREEZING" Still wearing her modified dojo uniform, Gloria's legs are exposed to the harsh elements. Her low body temperature makes her barely aware of an argument happening not ten feet from her. "NO FATHERRRRRRR I DON'T WANT TO GO ON YOUR STUPID ADVENTURE" "it'll be fun though" "i want to do MAX RAIDS" "pish and also posh; i've got much grander things lined up for us" "you there!!! shivering girl!!! help me out here" "wh-wh-who m-m-m-m-m-me?!" "yes you defeat my father in a pokémon battle while i escape" "i-i-i-i'd r-r-r-rather n-n-n-not" "you're not leaving until you do" "i m-m-m-m-m-m-miss th-th-th-the i-i-i-i-i-isle of a-a-a-a-a-armour already"
After defeating Peony in battle, Gloria is dragged over to the max adventure area and confronts Peonia. "like thanks so much for like taking the heat back there" "yeah no i'm here to drag you back to your father so he'll stop bugging me about it" "hey i just had a great idea" "no you didn't" "yes i did!!! what if YOU take my place on his adventure!!!" "see, i told you; that's a terrible idea" "i'll let you break the news to him CIAO!!!" Peonia runs off, leaving Gloria to tell Peony what happened. "oh well no use crying over spilt milk; COME ON GLORIA!!! LET US HAVE THE ADVENTURE OF A LIFETIME!!!" "oh dear lord"

CHAPTOUR TWO:
"okay so um you are woefully under-dressed gloria" "yes i've noticed" "here have a parka and some pants" "THANK YOU" "also here are my adventure notes about all the adventures we're going on have fun" "have fun?" "yeah i can't leave; what if peonia comes looking for me and i'm out galavanting around? i could never forgive myself" "okay uh that's cool i guess" "if you need any help, just ask" Gloria looks over the notes, and decides to tackle the big-headed legendary Pokémon first. "hey what's that big wooden thing on the table" "that's my pillow" "what" "well you see i left my favourite pillow at home so i had to make due with that one" "wouldn't something soft and fluffy make a better pillow" "what? no my favourite pillow is a big hunk of steel" "of course" "why are you asking about my pillow of all things" "can i borrow it?" "oh sure sure" Gloria grabs the pillow off the table and places it atop the horse and rider statue. "aesthetically perfect" "calyrex!!!" "huh?!" Gloria turns to see a big-headed Pokémon in the bushes and immediately has her Urshifu beat the shit out of it. "woah gloria what's all the ruckus?" "oh peony check out this cool big-headed dude" "oh sick" Just then, Peony starts levitating. "greetings hu-man" "yeah hi peony; how's being a mouthpiece for the legendary pokémon working out for you" "ha ha funny; listen hu-man i need your help" "i get that a lot" "people don't believe in me any more and think i'm just a fairy tale" "i can see how that could be annoying" "worse: my powers require people to WORSHIP ME AS THEIR GOD" "well arceus is the new hot god these days" "i know and it fucking sucks; take these pamphlets and try to convert the village to the cult of calyrex" "can do boss"

CHAPTOUR THREE:
"so gloria how'd it go" "not so good" "huh?" "these people are devout arceolics" "dammit" "plus all of them think you're a fairy tale" "well i suppose i will have to show them my real life majesty; FETCH ME MY STEED" "what like a rapidash or something?" "dear god no; have you seen the rapidash around here?" "good point" "go to the local library and see if you can learn anything" "on it"
"okay so it says here that your steed fucking LOVES carrots" "ah yes he did love some vegetable or other; bring to me some carrots" "i have these carrot seeds" "okay go out there and GROW FOR ME SOME CARROTS!!!" "right away sir"
Gloria plants the seeds in a nice patch of soil on an ancient Pokémon Burial Ground. They come out delicious AND nutritious. "SPECTRIER" "oh shit there he is!!! my ghostly steed come to-wait where are you going?! AH SHIT HE'S GONE TO ATTACK THE VILLAGE!!!" Gloria and Calyrex rush over to the village, and Gloria's Urshifu puts down Spectrier, causing it to run off and leave a tuft of hair behind. "how convenient!!! we need that for the reins i use to ride him" "oh nice do we need anything else?" "oh yes the flower of MIRACLES!!! check THIS out" Calyrex grunts and groans and conjures a single flower petal. "uh ta-da!!!" "it's a bit short of a whole flower" "well it'll do; get out your sewing kit and make me some reins" "i've never sewed in my life" "fine i'll do it"

CHAPTOUR FOUR:
After a successful sneak attack at the Crown Shrine, Calyrex has forcefully reunited with Spectrier. "now let's ride and hand out those pamphlets" "i don't have a steed" "i could summon a galarian rapidash for you" "i'll walk" Gloria and Calyrex descend the mountain and head back to the village, which has embraced a new Pokémon as its lord and saviour. "BULBA BULBA BULBA BULBA BULBA" "what the fuck is going on here?! what happened to arceus?!" "PFFFFFFT that is like so yesterday; some french girl came over and convinced us that bulbasaur is the bulbabest" "what" "BULBASAUR IS NUMBER ONE!!! IT MEANS HE IS THE BEST!!! THE ALPHA!!!" Calyrex turns to Gloria. "i can't argue with that one" "what?!" "bulbasaur is number one - the alpha; i am merely number 898 - the omega" "but-" "no one believes in me any more, and i can see why; goodbye gloria, you were a true friend" A single tear streams down Calyrex's cheek as he begins to fade away. Gloria hucks a Pokéball at Calyrex's crown, sucking him inside. She then sends Calyrex back out. "that's not true; I BELIEVE IN YOU" "gloria, you are truly the greatest of my subjects" "by default even" "be that as it may, i will stick by your side; RIDE OR DIE" "FUCK YEAH"

CHAPTOUR FIVE:
Gloria decides to follow the next adventure note about the legendary golems. She catches Regirock, Registeel, and Regice, which somehow exist at the same time as the ones Dawn owns, and enters the final temple. "YOU WHO BEAR THE THREE ORIGINAL GOLEMS; YOU MAY CHOOSE WHICH ANCILLARY GOLEM YOU'D LIKE TO TAKE HOME" "i only get one?" "YES; THE OTHER WILL BE LOST TO YOU FOREVER*" "asterisk?" "DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT" "okay okay hmmm" Gloria looks at the given stats and figures for the two Pokémon in front of her: Regieleki and Regidrago. "i'll pick regidrago" "wait seriously?!" "um yes?" "no one has EVER picked regidrago" "why not?" "look at that speed stat on regieleki!!!" "so? he's lame; regidrago looks cool as hell" A single tear streams down Regidrago's cheek from his top left braille marking. Regidrago rushes up to Gloria and gives her a big hug. "OW OW OW" "OH sorry" "i-it's fine; just please put rubber stoppers on those if you want another hug" "will do boss" Gloria takes Regidrago with her, and gets back to adventuring.

CHAPTOUR SIX:
Gloria heads up to the big tree in the southmost area of the Crown Tundra, and witnesses the Galarian Articuno, Zapdos, and Moltres fighting to the death. "GO ARTICUNO RIP HIS EYES OUT" Just then, Gloria's phone rings. "gloria i just called to say that my daughter peonia is in the TOP PERCENTAGE OF DAUGHTERS!!!" "what are you, from johto?!" At the mention of Johto, the Galarian birds fly off to scattered corners of Galar. "goddammit"
"hey gloria what are you doing here" "i could ask the same of you sonia" "i'm doing research on the three musketeer pokémon" "those are here as well?" "yeah the crown tundra is where all the legendaries like to hang out, even if by all rights they should belong to someone else" "that explains the regis" "indeed; hey look at those footprints over there" "i'm looking" "they belong to cobalion!!!" "oh cool" "say gloria it would wicked pissah if you'd find all the musketeers for me" "wait 'wicked pissah'? you're supposed to be from jolly old england not new england" "sorry let me try that again: say gloria it would be simply chuffing if you'd find all the musketeers for me" "i see what you're doing; you're trying to make me agree by using the region-appropriate slang terms, but i know your tricks" "and i know you'll be wandering all over the place looking for articuno so would it kill you to keep an eye out for footprints" "fine whatever"

CHAPTOUR SEVEN:
After combing the Crown Tundra and inadvertantly finding all three musketeer Pokémon (which somehow exist at the same time as the ones Rosa owns), Gloria finally finds Articuno at the graveyard. "what are you even doing here?!" "articuno" "yeah it does have great ambiance i suppose" "articuno articuno articuno" Gloria uses the distraction presented by Articuno rambling about his blackened soul to huck a Pokéball at him, catching him instantly.
Back in the main portion of Galar, Zapdos is running amok in a sandstorm. "god i can't see shit" Neither can Zapdos, as he runs straight into Gloria. "OKAY GO CINDERACE" Cinderace begins pummeling Zapdos as Gloria throws ball after ball. Zapdos gets a wicked haymaker in on Cinderace, but Cinderace hangs on at one health for Gloria's sake. Then he is buffeted by the sandstorm and is knocked out. Regidrago manages to hold down the fort until Zapdos finally stays in the ball.
On the Isle of Armour, Moltres is flying around at a blistering pace. Gloria holds up a radar gun, then turns on her siren. "sir do you have any idea how fast you were going" "moltres" "i'm afraid that's your fifth ticket this week; you're coming with me" "moltres" Moltres hangs his head and gets into Gloria's Pokéball.

CHAPTOUR EIGHT:
"okay peony i've caught all three of the legendary galarian birds" "hmm could there be a secret still to uncover with these pokémon?!" "they do seem like they're hiding something" "let's see; MOltres, Zapdos, ARTicuno OH MY GOD!!! COULD MOZART BE STILL ALIVE?!" "um yes he could; the champion of kanto found him a while back in the lost city of atlantis" "oh uh fair enough" At that moment, Peonia bursts in. "OKAY i am ready for one of those adventures you talked about" "uh gloria completed all the adventures already" "WHAT" "you told me to" "it's fine peonia!!! i will come up with a NEW EVEN BETTER ADVENTURE!!! here's your jacket to protect you from the harsh winter cold" "why is it so gaudy?! YOU'RE RUINING MY LIFE" Peonia storms off. "peonia wait!!!" Peony runs off after his daughter, leaving Gloria to wonder what the fuck is wrong with that girl.

CHAPTOUR NINE:
After catching every legendary Pokémon in the Crown Tundra, Gloria returns to Wyndon due to a call from Leon. When she arrives at the stadium, every notable person from Galar is there. "okay everyone i had this awesome idea; what if we did a TAG BATTLE TOURNAMENT!!!" "i'm game" "sounds good" Gloria smirks, and waits for everyone to come rushing to be her tag partner. When no one approaches her, Gloria decides to do the approaching. "MELONY!!! be my partner in this one" "n-no thanks" "come on" "no i know you're going to celebrate each win by squeezing my ample bosom" "yeah and?" "find someone else" "PIERS MY BOY!!! let's be the no-dynamax twosome and rain fire on our foes!!!" "no thanks" "oh come on" "find someone else" "KLARA!!! let's teach those non-dojo boys the fruits of our training" "no i want to defeat you and laugh at you as you cry yourself out of the stadium" "that's fair" Gloria looks all over the stadium, and no one wants to partner with her except for one person. "i'm stick you aren't i, hau" "yeah" "fine let me carry your worthless ass to victory then" "by all means"
Gloria carries Hau's worthless Dubwool ass to victory, as expected. Any doubts of her ability are erased, and she is entered into the tag battle hall of fame.

HALL OF FAME:
Cinderace (level 100)
Urshifu (level 100)
Calyrex-Gastrier (level 100)
Regidrago (level 100)
Galarian Moltres (level 100)
Meltan (level 20)

THE END