The More Things Change (2023)

Mission 075: Inundation [Candice]
"hey candice how's business" "i have been simply swamped with requests!!! over the last year, so many people have wanted something built, but only trust me to do it" "well your brand of building is certainly unique" "i'll take that as a compliment even if i'm pretty sure you didn't mean it as one" "i'm not sure myself" "well check this out; the alabama port authority kept all my material shipments safely locked away so i don't have to buy more PURE poplar timber; none of that 70-30 bullshit" "how nice of them" "also that inspector lady was forced to send me a written apology for the mental trauma and forced to send all of my waiting customers an apology" "really?" "also: i think she is to be tied to a spinning wheel in the town square for people to throw things at" "that doesn't sound fun" "you know what also doesn't sound fun? having what gives your life meaning taken away from you, and slowly going insane inside your own home and later a jail cell" "fair enough" Michelle walks up and throws down some 70-30 poplar/pine mix. Candice is livid. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Ruth missions]

Mission 076: All's Unwell That Ends Unwell [Brooke]
"hey brooke how's the exorcism going" "oh oh check it out: see that ghost over there?" "yeah that's the one valerie called about" "yeah well i'm about to exorcise it from a hundred yards" "really?" Brooke pulls out her standard-issue crossbow, which fires holy crosses at the undead. Brooke takes aim and fires, exorcising the angry spirit to whence it came. "i'm glad that's over" "yeah that was the angriest spirit i've ever seen; someone must really have pissed her off" "the best part is now i can tear down all her diamond tombstones and replace them with marble ones, then sell the diamonds for a huge profit and lower taxes to boot" "the canadians seem to be entering a new golden age" "yeah it's a shame that i spend most of my time in alabama" Michelle walks up, wearing all kinds of diamond jewelry chipped from Canadian tombstones. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Valerie missions]

Mission 077: Deep Regret [Brooke]
"hi brooke you're looking down in the dumps today" "yeah" "care to talk about it" "i made a new friend today and i led her into the church and she burned to a crisp instantly" "oh so you're sad that your friend's dead?" "no i'm sad that i made friends with such a horrible sinner and/or undead creature" "well think of it this way: maybe god's plan for you was to make friends with that sinner so you could lead her to her salvation or destruction; the holy retribution handed down by one his most fervent subjects" "okay yeah that actually makes a lot of sense; thanks for the pep talk jakey" "so are you going to go make friends with lots of sinners and undead then lead them to their unsuspecting demise" "no, i'm afraid if i do that too much, their sinliness will rub off on me" "fair enough" Michelle leads her new friend into the church, where she burns up instantly. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/burning sinner t-shirt]

Mission 078: Standard Lawyer Shit [Natalie]
"hey natalie you know, i never asked you how your legal career is going" "oh it's great; i just won a case against my rival, a prosecutor who was considered an undefeatable prodigy before i beat him in only my second trial" "i bet he was mad" "yeah but i'm sure we'll be good friends soon; have you ever met my legal assistant" "no" "she's a sixteen-year-old girl who knows how to summon ghosts so i just ask the ghost what happened and try to find evidence to fit that narrative" "are ghostly testimonies not admissible in court" "no unfortunately but it's all cool" "so they let you find evidence on your own?" "oh yeah i take things from crime scenes all the time and just wantonly present them in court when the need arises" "is that legal" "i've never been called out on it" "fair enough" "hey check out my lawyer badge" "very nice" "oh and have i ever shown you my lawyer badge" "once or twice" Michelle walks in and flashes her own lawyer badge. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/lawyers summoning ghosts t-shirt]

Mission 079: Standard Agent Shit [Special Agent Grace]
"hey grace you know, i never asked you how your agent career is going" "oh it's great; i just won a shootout against my rival, a KGB agent who was considered an unkillable prodigy before i shot her dead" "i bet she was mad" "yeah but i'm sure she'll come back as a ghost soon" "you wouldn't happen to have a sixteen-year-old sidekick girl would you" "no but i'd love to have a sidekick girl who can summon zombies that i can use as a distraction during infiltration missions" "i can see how that would be useful" "hey check out my special agent badge" "very nice" "yeah it's way better than the secret agent badge i used to have before anyone knew i existed" "you miss it don't you" "every day of my life" Michelle walks in and flashes her own secret agent badge, which is immediately replaced with a special agent badge. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/secret agents summoning zombies t-shirt]

Mission 080: Thinly-Veiled [Gwendolyn]
"yo gwendo is the marathon over" "yeah sad to say; i just got back to the whole streaming thing and i am frankly appalled" "why" "futurehoodlum 20XX was supposed to come out during the marathon, and i was hoping that everyone would realise how bad it is before i came back but they delayed it AGAIN" "what this is like the thirtieth time" "once again, i have carefully calculated time off of my work so i can avoid playing it, and they FUCK ME AGAIN" "it's a travesty" Michelle walks in, carrying a robotic arm. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/FutureHoodlum 20XX t-shirt]

Mission 081: Tension Release [Gwendolyn]
"jakey i am still livid and i need a bubbly bath to calm me down" "reasonable" "please stand outside my door and don't come in unless i yell 'AMYLASE ENZYMES'" "got it" Gwendolyn grabs her vampiric rubber ducky and heads into the bath, where she begins to sing a jolly tune. "♫if there's anything you need, all you have to do is say♫" As Jakey bops along to the tune, the long-forgotten Akari marches up the stairs. "jakey step aside; gwendolyn has inconvenienced me for the first and last time" "what did she do" "i was a fan of her videogame streams but she has not streamed all month" "well she's in the bath, so if you march in, you'll inconvenience her and be a hypocrite" "oh" "♫AND DON'T YOU KNOW I WOULD MOVE HEAVEN AND EARTH TO BE TOGETHER FOREVER WITH YOU♫" "well the last thing i want is to be a hypocrite so i will wait" Jakey and Akari wait for Gwendolyn to finish, whereupon Akari accosts Gwendolyn outside the bathroom. "you have inconvenienced me for the first and last time gwendolyn" "hey you're a wight aren't you" "yeah so" "well i donated A LOT of money to the wight fund last year; that new nose is only possible because i provided the funds" Akari pauses a moment. "okay fine we're even then but i'd BETTER see you streaming on friday" "wouldn't miss it for the world" Akari begins to leave. "you're going to miss it aren't you" "probably" Just before she can leave, Michelle hands Akari a flier for her own stream. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Akari missions]

Mission 082: Interrogatekeeping [Wu Huiqing]
Jakey walks up to the Chinese embassy in Mojavistan. "weird i wasn't aware mojavistan had such a thing" Jakey knocks on the wall, which comes crashing down. "it's made of cardboard?!" "JAKEY I AM BUSY DOING AN INTERROGATION" "you're interrogating piper of all people?" "the chinese government needs to know her secrets" "well i've told you once and twice and even more than that; if you and your chinese friends want bigger boobs, just come on down to-" "IT'S NOT ABOUT THE BOOBS" "what" "it's about your stamp collection" "i refuse to divulge any of my secrets re:stamp collecting" "i can do this all night if i have to" Wu Huiqing pulls out her interrogation device - a large feather. "what do you plan to do with that feather?!" "BEHOLD, THE PINNACLE OF CHINESE ENGINEERING" Wu Huiqing rubs the feather up and down Piper's body, causing a raucous laughter. "TELL ME YOUR SECRETS" "NEVER" Jakey watches very attentively as Piper convulses with laughter, right up until Michelle begins tickling him with a feather. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Piper missions]

Mission 083: A Grave Situation [Wu Huiqing]
Jakey walks up to the Chinese embassy in Alabama's graveyard. "weird i wasn't aware alabama had such a thing" Jakey knocks on the wall, which comes crashing down. "it's made of cardboard?!" "JAKEY I AM BUSY DOING AN INTERROGATION" "you're interrogating valerie of all people?!" "the chinese government needs to know her secrets" "I-I-I-I-I D-D-DON'T H-HAVE ANY!!!" "please don't lie; we need to know: what is the purpose of this facility?!" "wh-wh-what i-i-i d-don't u-u-u-understand" "why would you need such a place to put your corpses?! we chinese just throw them in a pile and burn them!!!" "i-i-i-" "ADMIT IT!!! THIS IS A CRYOGENIC STORAGE FACILITY!!! YOU ARE PLANNING ON REVIVING THESE CORPSES WHEN YOU DEVELOP SUFFICIENTLY ADVANCED TECHNOLOGY!!!" "W-W-WE ARE?!" "HA, A CONFESSION!!!" Wu Huiqing runs off to tell her superiors. "i-i-i-i c-can't b-believe w-we'd d-do such a-a-a th-thing!!!" "she made that up" "wh-WHAT" Michelle claws her way out of a grave, frostbitten. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/cryogenic t-shirt]

Mission 084: The Lord's Blessing [Wu Huiqing]
Jakey walks up to the Chinese embassy inside the church. "weird i wasn't aware the church had such a thing" Jakey knocks on the wall, which comes crashing down. "it's made of cardboard?!" "JAKEY I AM BUSY DOING AN INTERROGATION" "you're interrogating father brucie of all people?!" "the chinese government needs to know his secrets" "the love of jesus christ is not a secret; he loves each and every one of us" "who is this jesus christ person?! where are you hiding him?!" "he's in here" Father Brucie points at Wu Huiqing's heart. "GAH" Wu Huiqing hurriedly dials her phone. "WE'VE GOT A CODE ALPHA, THIS IS NOT A DRILL" All of a sudden, a team of Chinese agents rushes in to perform open-heart surgery on Wu Huiqing. "it was a metaphor you donut" "WHAT ARE THESE 'METAPHORS' YOU SPEAK OF?!" "are you seriously conducting an interrogation while receiving pointless open-heart surgery" "I'M ASKING THE QUESTIONS HERE" Michelle walks in and begins poking at Wu Huiqing's exposed heart. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Father Brucie missions]

Mission 085: A Simple Explanation [Ruth]
"hey ruth i thought you were going to be tied to a wheel and spun around a lot" "i was but the wheel failed inspection" "ah" "but nevermind that, we've got bigger fish to fry" "do we?" "yes, i need to go to this address for my next inspection but my car failed inspection after some stupid kid threw a baseball through the windshield can you give me a ride" "okay" Jakey gives Ruth a ride down to Svart of Darkness's mansion, where he has grown pudgy on evil hot dogs. "HOT DOG INSPECTION" "the proper term nowadays is 'glizzy'" Ruth glares at Svart of Darkness, and stamps a big red "FAILED" on his forehead. "easiest inspection of my life" "aren't you going to confiscate his hot dogs" "not now that he's eaten them" "sounds to me like you're leaving a job half-finished" Ruth sighs and pulls out her portable stomach pump. Michelle walks up to Jakey eating a hot dog. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Svart of Darkness missions]

Mission 086: A Likely Story [Valerie]
"hey valerie how you holding up" "f-fine" Just then, Siobhan comes in, carrying a large sack, followed by Natalie. "hey could you bury this for me" "y-you d-didn't k-kill him y-yourself d-did you" "no i'm just holding it for somebody" "and these documents will clearly show that my client, siobhan 'bonnie' masterson, is, indeed, just holding it for somebody" Natalie hands Valerie a large stack of documents, worded in such extensive legalese that they are impenetrable to mortal eyes. "i-i-i'll t-take your w-word for it" "good" "so who are you holding it for" "MY CLIENT is not at liberty to divulge such information, as you can clearly see in section 147, article Q of the documents i have presented" "fine fine" Michelle walks up and hands Jakey legally-binding paperwork detailing the agreement made between the two. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Siobhan missions/Natalie missions]

Mission 087: Revengeance Rising [Akari]
"so akari how's being a spirit of vengeance working out for you" "oh it's just swell; a tax collector came to collect my late taxes and i killed him for inconveniencing me" "nice so what are you up to now" "i'm waiting for a package i ordered; it is LATE and i am going to kill the post lady for it" "okay um i will watch from afar; WAY afar" "good idea; getting blood out of your clothes is just torture" "do you even have blood" "what" "nothing" Jakey retreats into the corner of the room as the doorbell rings. "MAIL DELIVERY" "POST LADY, YOU HAVE INCONVENIENCED ME FOR THE FIRST AND LAST TI-" Before she can finish her bellow, the post lady has left and delivered the package. "dammit" 'to be fair, i assumed she was going to deliver you to the hospital" "no matter; my package is now here" Akari rips open the box and finds, under a pile of packing peanuts, Michelle. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/packing peanuts t-shirt]

Mission 088: Gallons of the Stuff [Akari]
"jakey i am going to take a bubbly bath in the blood of my enemies; i would appreciate if you would guard my door and only come in if i yell 'ENRICHED BLEACH FLOUR'" "got it" Akari turns and grabs her rubber ducky and heads into the bath. She begins to sing a jolly tune. "♫i see a red door and i want it painted black; no colours any more i want them to turn black♫" As Jakey bops along to the tune, Svart of Darkness plods up the stairs. "jakey i need akari's help with some revengeance against that pixington" "oh i thought you were going to say against all those hot dogs that gave you that paunch" "ha ha funny" "well akari is currently in the bath and is not to be disturbed" "♫I SEE THE GIRLS WALK BY DRESSED IN THEIR SUMMER CLOTHES; I HAVE TO TURN MY HEAD UNTIL MY DARKNESS GOES♫" "oh yeah i don't want to inconvenience her and end up on the wrong end of her revengeance" "smart man" Jakey and Svart of Darkness wait for Akari to exit the bath, whereupon Svart of Darkness immediately accosts her, and Michelle immediately accosts Jakey. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/revengeance t-shirt]

Mission 089: Hammed Burger [Piper]
"jakey your burger is ready" "oh boy" Jakey grabs his hamburger, fresh off of Piper's grill. "wow this is the best hamburger i've ever had" "of course; i make sure to lovingly tenderise my meat every day" "well it shows" Jakey continues gleefully chewing as Piper lovingly prepares a hamburger for her lawyer, Natalie. "you know, most people grill multiple hamburgers at once" "why would i do that?! then i'd have to spread my love and attention among multiple burgers rather than focussing it all on a single burger" Piper finishes Natalie's burger, and passes it to her. "okay, i retract my earlier statement; you can really taste the love" "and that is what grilling is all about" After a few more minutes, Piper finishes Michelle's burger, and passes it to her. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/hamburger t-shirt]

Mission 090: Positively Molten [Father Brucie]
"what's going on here" "my son, we've got a sinner holed up in a building; with your help, i am going to force her out" "godspeed father, godspeed" Jakey pulls out his megaphone. "COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP; WE HAVE THE PLACE SURROUNDED" "BUT THIS PLACE IS EXACTLY WHERE I WANT TO BE" "WE WILL BUST DOWN THE DOOR IF YOU DO NOT COME OUT THIS INSTANT YOUNG LADY" "HA!!! I HAVE MAGICALLY SEALED THE DOOR!!! IT CANNOT BE BUSTED DOWN!!!" Jakey takes a step to his left and busts down the wall next to the door. "COME ON THAT'S CHEATING" "NOW COME QUIETLY OR I WILL BE FORCED TO USE LETHAL FORCE" "GOOD LUCK; I HAVE MAGICALLY TRANSFORMED THE FLOOR INTO LAVA!!!" "FUCK" Jakey hucks his megaphone straight at the ground, angry that city hall defunded the police academy's 'the floor is lava' program. "WHY IS IT THAT THE PEOPLE IN CHARGE OF FUNDING POLICEWORK KNOW NOTHING ABOUT POLICEWORK?!" Since the clergy has not abandonned this important training, Father Brucie rolls up his sleeves and stomps to the building's front door. Molten lava covers the ground inside, leaving only the furniture, walls, and ceiling intact. "oh poor you father; I'VE MOVED THE COATRACK!!! THERE IS NO WAY FOR YOU TO EVEN GET CLOSE!!!" Father Brucie grabs the doorframe and uses it to launch himself to the side wall. He then proceeds to run along the wall until he can leap to the couch that Violet is standing on and slap a pair of handcuffs on her. "WHAT THE FUCK!!! you just defied the laws of physics!!!" "yeah, and you just defied the laws of our lord so we're even" Father Brucie rows the couch across the lava to the door using the coatrack. He then hands the sinner over to the police. "take him away boys; i've got to go have a chat with city hall" "MORE LIKE SHITTY HALL" "word up" Father Brucie leaves the area as Jakey throws Violet into the prison bus next to Michelle. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Violet missions]

Mission 091: Not Much Help at All [Svart of Darkness]
"so how'd your vengeance go" "it didn't" "oh?" "i was told that what i needed was a phlebotomist not a spirit of vengeance" "so have you been looking up phlebotomists" "unfortunately, phlebotomists don't take blood from other people and give it to you; they just keep it for themselves" "how selfish of them" "so i have spent some evil tickets on this AT-HOME PHLEBOTOMY KIT" "and let me guess: it drains all the blood" "yeah uh jezzie had to come revive me after i tested it out on myself" "how embarrassing" "indeed, but i shall make it up to her by presenting her with the finest engagement ring+proposal combo" "how are you going to force down amber long enough to suck out all her blood" "this baby works at long-range check it out" Svart of Darkness points his at-home phlebotomy gun across the road at Amber, but hits a lamp post instead. "FUCK I'M OUT OF AMMO" "well just get more with your evil tickets" "oh right right" Svart of Darkness peruses the catalog. "A MAGAZINE FOR IT COSTS TWICE AS MUCH AS THE GUN ITSELF" "then get another gun" "i can't it's one per customer" "oh that is evil" "mark my words, when i raise 198 more evil tickets, that pixington's blood will be mine" Svart of Darkness begins to munch on an evil hot dog. "yes, only 199 more tickets to go" Michelle walks up with a needle in her arm. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Jezzie missions/Amber missions]

Mission 092: The Heist of the Century [Siobhan]
"jakey i need your advice" "okay what for" "have you ever kidnapped someone" "can't say that i have" "well i kidnapped this girl and i kind of regret it" "not content with stealing money, you decide to steal people" "yeah i kidnapped this girl thinking she'd be like a farmer's daughter or something but she's the princess of canada!!!" "YOU KIDNAPPED MY SISTER?!" "I DID?!" "take me to her right away if you value your limbs and eyesight" "YES SIR" Siobhan leads Jakey to her bedroom, where Michelle is tied to the bed. "you're lucky that she enjoys being tied to the bed" "i suppose i am" "since she's having a good time and you are an attractive female, i will let it slide this once" "hey thanks" Michelle begins to drool, wide-eyed. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/no harm no foul t-shirt]

Mission 093: A Stick-Up [Siobhan]
"so sioby any new robbery exploits" "well i tried to rob a convenience store; i said 'give me the most valuable thing in the store' and he just took a wad of gum out of his mouth and attempted to hand it to me" "to be fair, that one stick of trident sugar-free chewing gum hasn't lost its flavour in nigh-on thirty years now" "seriously?" "yeah he's offered me a taste before, but i declined" "then how can we take him at his word if you don't even give it a small taste?!" "well that's what the yearly inspections are for; every year, an official inspector has a taste of taylor's gum to check if the flavour is still there, and that it hasn't been swapped for a fresh stick" "is this a government-funded program" "yes; the alabamanian and canadian governments take these claims very seriously" "uh-huh" Michelle walks in, chewing a fresh stick of Zebra Stripes chewing gum. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Trident t-shirt]

Mission 094: A Sound Defense [Natalie]
Jakey walks into Alabama Castle's courtroom, where the honourable King Bran presides over the criminal trial of one Violet Griffin, with Natalie Belrose acting as defense attorney. "SO YOU SEE your honour milord my client was MERELY PRETENDING to be a sinner and, as stated in the constitution of alabama, one cannot be arrested for something she pretended to do or be" "yeah that makes sense; NOT GUILTY" King Bran bangs his gavel five times, each time harder than the last. "court is adjourned" "wow natalie that was amazing" "yes yes sorry to run but i've got another trial coming up; princess michelle of canada has been charged with indecent exposure" Sure enough, court rejourns, and Michelle takes the stand. "defendant, what do you have to say for yourself" "take me home"
[reward: respect +/King Bran missions]

Mission 095: Merely Pretending [Violet]
"i saw your trial violet" "oh did you? it was kind of a hassle; i was hoping to get this story out sooner" "what's the story on" "how the alabamanian justice system treats sinners" "and how do they" "pretty well honestly; there's some name-calling but i figure any real sinner's done his fair share of that, and turnabout is always fair play" "indeed" "so i was wondering: how did you manage to magically turn that floor into lava" "oh i used this kit that comes in a box" Violet rummages around in her trash can. "here you go" "'instant lava! make any surface you can stand on into lava!!!'" "yeah i was surprised they'd just sell a thing; the guy with the gum never even asked for my ID" "god bless this country" "indeed" Michelle walks up and turns the floor around Violet's trash can into lava. Jakey repeatedly burns to death until he can hop into the can. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/instant lava kit t-shirt]

Mission 096: Any Publicity is Good Publicity [Violet]
"hey violet are you working on an article" "yeah it's about that siobhan girl who keeps stealing stuff" "did you get any good scoops on her" "oh yeah did you know that siobhan 'sioby' masterson is actually the daughter of a wealthy oil baron?" "what no; why does she steal stuff then" "oh her father was a kleptomaniac" "oh shame" "and to keep the family tradition alive, sioby steals as much as she possibly can" "i had no idea; all this time, i thought her motivation was that she wanted to be called 'bonnie' instead of sioby" "she doesn't really look much like a bonnie" "that's what i keep telling her" "well maybe she has two motivations" "possibly; where did you get your information" "only from the most realiable source: a drunkard at the tavern" "oh yeah i go to those for life advice all the time" "word up" Michelle stumbles in, drunk as a skunk in a funk ready to slam dunk. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Siobhan missions]

Mission 097: Cruit and Cruit Again [Jezzie]
"ah jakey you're just in time to watch me recruit another wayward soul to the cause of evil" Jezzie snaps her fingers, and she and Jakey are teleported to the consecrated oil rig that Gale-Girl is standing on. "wait jezzie does consecration not affect you?" "not only that, but i actively remove consecration permanently with my mere presence" "neat" "um who are you" "AH yes sorry my name is jezzie; i'm a demoness and YOU'RE gale-girl" "that's what they call me" "let's cut to the chase: i want you on team evil" "i'm not evil though" "they branded you a supervillain" "from my point of view, the superheroes are evil" "yeah yeah whatever; i want you to sign this evil contract, and i am willing to throw in ALL the perks!!! first, you can change your super name to whatever you want within reason; second, you will be enrolled in our evil rewards program!!! have a free sample taste of this evil glizzy!!!" Jezzie hands Gale-Girl a hot dog. "that's a hot dog" "the term is glizzy; when you sign your contract, any attempt to say any other name for it will still come out as 'glizzy'" "well i am hungry" Gale-Girl chomps down on the evil hot dog. "THIS IS AMAZING WHERE DO I SIGN" An evil contract appears in a puff of smoke, and Gale-Girl immediately signs. "from this moment on, you are TYPHOON-GIRL!!! or uh whatever you choose" "typhoon-girl sounds good to me" "good; now one more thing" "yes?" Jezzie floods Typhoon-Girl's body with demonic energy, making her strong enough to defeat the superheroes. "uh thanks for the power upgrade but if it's all the same i'm going to stay here; i like it a lot" "oh fine" Jezzie disappears in a puff of smoke, then reappears to hand over Michelle. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Typhoon-Girl missions]

Mission 098: Non-Threatening [Amber]
"jakey have you noticed all these darts in my cars" "yeah" "what's up with that? who would shoot a car with a dart?" "someone who was aiming for something else" "like what" "an oversized pixington maybe" "no way no one would do that that would be rude" "yes" "anyway these darts are annoying; every car they hit is drained of its oil but it's all just there in the dart; if someone wanted to steal the oil, he'd likely take the dart right?" "which reinforces my earlier theory" "fair but if i have to put oil back into one of these cars again, i will be upset" Just then, a volley of darts spears the front row of Amber's cars. "GODDAMMIT" Amber dejectedly flies over to the cars to change their oil while Michelle keeps honking the horn. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/oil can t-shirt]

Mission 099: No Worries [Amber]
"jakey i have solved my dart problem" "how so" "i encased the lot in this amazing new invisible material they just invented called 'glass'" "they've had that for a while" "seriously?" "yeah i'm pretty sure that's what windows are made out of" "oh really? huh the more you know" "so how's the glass-encased car lot going" "people keep walking into the glass" "that does sound like a problem" "oh well it's a small price to pay for being dart-proof" "i would imagine so" Just then, Michelle crashes her monster truck straight through the glass, destroying the dome encasing the lot and raining glass shards onto everyone. Luckily, Amber has a replacement dome ready to go. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/glass t-shirt]