Pokémon Let's Fucking Go Marill

Be sure to read the other entries in the Pokémon series first: Pokémon InfernoRed and OceanBlue, Pokémon GlitteringGold and ShimmeringSilver, Pokémon VolcanicRuby and TidalSapphire, Pokémon InfiniteDiamond and BoundlessPearl, Pokémon EternityX and OblivionY, Pokémon BlazingSun and TranquilMoon, and Pokémon Let's Fucking Go Pikachu.

CHAPTOUR ONE:
"we recommend all new johtoan trainers to visit sprout tower to get in some training before challenging the violet city gym leader" "oh sounds fun" Lyra leads her Marill into Sprout Tower, where she is immediately accosted by the Sprout Tower Sages. "GUYS SHE'S ONLY GOT A WATER POKéMON" "FINALLY, REVENGE AFTER EVERY TRAINER HAD A CYNDAQUIL OR A PIDGEY" "BELLSPROUT USE VINE WHIP" A quartet of Bellsprouts begins whipping Marill furiously with their vines as the sages begin to sing a jolly tune. "IT'S A WHOLE NEW WORLD WE LIVE IN" "IT'S A WHOLE NEW WAY TO SEE" "IT'S A WHOLE NEW PLACE WITH A BRAND NEW ATTITUDE" "BUT YOU STILL GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL" "AND BE THE BEST THAT YOU CAN BE" "POKéMON JOHTO" "MARILL" Lyra leaps onto her Marill, covering it from the viscious blows inflicted by the Bellsprouts.

CHAPTOUR TWO:
"mister bugsy sir another challenger" "what's she have? a cyndaquil? a pidgey, maybe?" "uh she's just got a marill" "a ma-" Bugsy's eyes light up. "FINALLY IT IS BUGSY'S TIME TO SHINE" Bugsy struts out to his gym leader stage, ready to face Lyra and her Marill. "greetings challenger; finally, we can have a fair match!!! no longer will i be a laughingstock!!! GO SCYTHER" "uh-huh GO MARILL USE SNOWY SLIDE" "marill!!!" Marill creates a pile of snow and splashes around in it, defeating Scyther instantly. "OKAY THAT IS BULLSHIT AND YOU KNOW IT" "can i have my badge now"

CHAPTOUR THREE:
"hello there miss; do you want to be a master?! do you want to show your skills?!" "yeah!!!" "then listen up: you should probably leave now; youngster joey's ratatta is in the top percentage of ratatta" "dude it's a ratatta how bad can it be?" "famous last words" Lyra steps up to the leader of the Goldenrod City gym, Youngster Joey. "hello there challenger; i am sure you've heard about my ratatta and how it, indeed, is in the top percentage of ratatta" "yeah but ratatta is terrible" "TAKE THAT BACK" "no" "GO RATATTA" "GO MARILL" In one fell slash of its top percentage teeth, Ratatta cuts Marill down. "WHAT" "normally, i tell the kids who come here that it's nothing personnel, but with you, it's VERY personnel"

CHAPTOUR FOUR:
"oh you're back already? haven't had enough defeat?" "no, this time, we're going to WIN; i underestimated you before, but this time i believe my estimation is in the correct ballpark" "it can't be if you still think you're going to win GO RATATTA" "GO MARILL USE FISTLY FEINT" Marill dodges the hyper fang attack from Ratatta, and delivers a massive blow to Ratatta's spine, knocking it out. "WHAT" "come on, pay up" "man you're the first challenger to get a badge from me since i took over this gym from the cow lady"

CHAPTOUR FIVE:
After having defeated the eight gym leaders of Johto, Lyra heads to the Silver League building with her Marill in tow. She defeats the elite four quickly, and all that remains is the champion, Crystal. "CHAMPION CRYSTAL I-" "QUIET we've got an emergency!!! eusine has gone missing!!!" "who-sine?" "his first date with suicune went badly and i think he might have killed himself" "oh dear" "listen this is an emergency so i'll need your help, mario" "m-mario?!" "i need you to try your best to capture suicune while i try and talk eusine off the ledge" "OFF the ledge? so you WANT him to kill himself?" Crystal hucks a Pokéball at Lyra's head so she'll get moving. "and get your OWN hairstyle while you're at it"

CHAPTOUR SIX:
Crystal spots Eusine on a cliff, ready to jump, and pulls out her megaphone. "EUSINE DON'T DO IT YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR" "NO I DON'T" "damn he's got me there" "suicune is the only thing i've ever loved!!! to be rejected so coldly makes me not want to live any more!!!" "but think of all the people who would miss you if you killed yourself!!!" "it's uh really selfish of you to try and guilt me into continuing living when i clearly have no desire to; i didn't ask to be born OR to fall in love with suicune, but i have to keep on keeping on in spite of my clear desire not to?" "dammit" Crystal curses under her breath, as Eusine's arguments are flawless. Just as Eusine finishes stretching, Lyra runs up with a Pokéball in hand. "crystal i caught suicune" "oh yes pass it here"" Crystal throws the Pokéball, and out comes Raikou. "..." "..." "YOU FUCKING IMBECILE" Crystal begins pelting Lyra with Pokéball after Pokéball. Eusine's attention is caught by Raikou just before he jumps. Raikou winks at Eusine and gives him a "come hither" look. "oh raikou i never noticed how beautiful you are" Eusine climbs down the cliff safely, and rushes over to Raikou. "do you want to go on a date sometime" Raikou puts its paw into Eusine's outstretched hand, and the two walk off on their first date. "see crystal? it all worked out okay" "you got lucky"

CHAPTOUR SEVEN:
"okay since you technically succeeded in your mission, i'll battle you; GO TYPH-" Before Crystal can finish calling out Typhlosion, Entei darts in front of her. "not you again" Entei finds an empty Pokéball in Crystal's backpack, and catches himself for her. "oh god" "so uh-" "YEAH YEAH GO ENTEI I GUESS" "GO MARILL" "entei use uh" Crystal pulls out her Pokédex to check Entei's move list. "entei, you're not even supposed to be ABLE to learn charm and sweet kiss!!! that isn't even mentioning petal blizzard?! fine whatever; ENTEI USE PETAL BLIZZARD i guess" Entei showers the room in flower petals, dedicated to his beloved Crystal. Marill is absolutely destroyed by Entei's level 100 love. "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT" "oh good job entei; you are my second-favourite fire-type (fourth if you count the entire cyndaquil line as separate Pokémon)" And that is good enough for Entei.
THE END