Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] IV: A Choose-Your-Own Adventure

CHAPTOUR TWENTY-SIX:
Adam Lambert sighs and realises that butthurt is not the solution. Adam Lambert and Shopwreckour dismantle Adam Lambert's shop, a single tear streaming down their faces. The two apologise to eachother and form a Prack cover band. After years of intense touring, the two get married and move to Alabama, growing old and watching the children grow up. The two die in their sleep at the age of thirty and are buried together in Nagasaki, Japan, as per their request.
Adam Lambert climbs through Victoly Road, sweating furiously. Adam Lambert can see daylight, and sprints towards his ultimate goal to become the very best, like no one ever was. All of a sudden, BEARS!. Adam Lambert sends out Squidward, who denies the existence of BEARS!.
WHAT DOES ADAM LAMBERT DO

Whilst in battle with BEARS!, squidward learns Tim minchin beam just in time and clinches the battle

He lays with Squidward in a wide open plain on a beautiful sunny day and watches the whole damn world go by

Oh and then ties him up and tortures him by wrecking his shop until he admits to the existance of BEARS!

CHAPTOUR TWENTY-SEVEN:
Squidward turns his back to Adam Lambert and looks through the BEARS!. Squidward reads a book, learning the Tim Minchin Beam! Squidward launches a Tim Minchin Beam into the air, destroying the BEARS!. "see"
Adam Lambert struts into the Pokemon League, a smirk on his face. Friend tells Adam Lambert that the Elite Four will be even harder than the gyms. "old" Adam Lambert bursts into the first room and meets Randy Jackson! "hey dawg" Randy Jackson sends out Honchkrow and Adam Lambert sends out Squidward. Squidward uses his KRAKATOA attack, OHKOing Honchkrow. "that was nice dawg but a bit pitchy dawg"Adam Lambert bursts into the second room and meets Kara Dioguardi! "hey my pikachu is super-great" Kara Dioguardi sends out Pachirisu and Adam Lambert sends out Caterpie. Caterpie uses his pie attack, OHKOing Pachirisu. "that was okay but i see you more as someone who uses early pokemon; you know, like turtwig or chimchar" Adam Lambert bursts into the third room and meets Paula Abdul! "hey i'm so happy to finally battle you i hear you're great so great well let's battle don't hold back teehee or else this gun guns nice to have i love guns i keep my gun in the baklava the night is burnin' aaaaaaaaaaaah watch out" Paul Abdul sends out Jigglypuff and Adam Lambert sends out Makuhita. Makuhita uses his PUNCHING PEOPLE BY MOONLIGHT attack, OHKOing Jigglypuff. "that was such a great battle you know you're so great you could win winning nice to do i love winning i knew right from the beginning that you would end up winning i knew right from the start you'd put an arrow through my" Adam Lambert bursts into the fourth room and meets Simon Cowell! "lo all" Simon Cowell sends out Empoleon and Adam Lambert sends out Wingull. Wingull uses his give me the diamonds attack, OHKOing Empeoleon. "that was a trainwreck i mean so bad"
CONTINUED NEXT POST

CHAPTOUR TWENTY-EIGHT:
Adam Lambert looks to the sky. "i guess this is it, isn't it" "you can do it son; you can beat the record" Adam Lambert looks up in shock, but sees nothing. A single tear streams down his cheek. "this is for you, fathour" Adam Lambert slams open the doors to the champion's room. "hey what's up" Ryan Seacrest Birch Seacrest stands inbetween Adam Lambert and the champion spot. Ryan Seabirchcrestbirchsea sends out Pantslizard. Adam Lambert smirks and sends out Blarshbabble. Blarshbabble unleashes a mighty leech seed on Pantslizard. Pantslizard reels in pain, but retalliates with a punch to Blarshbabble's blarsh gland! Blarshbabble flies backwards into Adam Lambert. "adam lambert i will always remember the time we shared" "no don't go" A single tear streams down Adam Lambert's face. "shh just remember one thing: you are the one who will open the door" Blarshbabble goes limp in Adam Lambert's arms. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
Adam Lambert gently puts down Blarshbabble's lifeless body and closes his eyes. Adam Lambert sends out WIngull, who uses give me the diamonds on Pantslizard, finishing him off. "oh you won nice job" "yeah..." Adam Lambert solemnly enters the champion room, and registers his team. "blarshbabble, thank you"
THE END

CHAPTOUR TWENTY-NINE:
Adam Lambert and the gang return home with the title. "geraldine lambert i" "save it the look on your face is enough" Adam Lambert and Geraldine Lambert embrace. A single tear streams down Adam Lambert's face, then lands on Geraldine Lambert's face, and begins the streaming process anew. Adam Lambert and Geraldine Lambert engage in a passionate kiss, and Adam Lambert carries Geraldine Lambert to bed for some HOT LOVIN TONIGHT. Michelle runs up to Blarshbabble, and the two embrace. "eeewww" "get a room you two" "NO U" "NO ME"
"lo all" Stevman does a kneeslide, and plays a powerchord. "THAT'S OUR STEVMAN" Then Michelle's like "take me home'. THE END.

CHOOSE YOUR CHARACTER, PART DEUX

What a thrilling conclusion.

also bran bran bran


edit: ...wow

bran bran bran

bran

BRAN:
CHAPTOUR ONE:
Bran hangs up the phone. Bran bows his head down, and runs his fingers back through his hair. Bran slams his fist down on his desk. "they want to see the product tonight" A single tear streams down Bran's cheek. "but sir it won't be done for another week at least!!!" "old" Bran puts on his jacket, and heads outside. Bran sits on the steps, wondering why his life is so terrible. Bran picks up a rock and chucks it at a motorised rollingham. The driver gets out angrily and stomps towards Bran rather imposingly. Not too imposingly, though.
WHAT DOES BRAN DO

AGRESS

CHAPTOUR TWO:
Bran draws his sword and charges at the man. Bran attempts to slide between the man's legs, but the man grabs Bran by the neck! "hello" "hello" ANGRY MAN HAS JOINED THE PARTY Gwonam swoops in. "your majesty ganon and his minions have seized the island of koridai" "hmm how can we help" "it is written only bran can defeat ganon" "great" "i'll grab my stuff" "NO U" "NO ME" GWONAM HAS JOINED THE PARTY The three hop on the magic carpet. "woah what are all those heads" "these are the faces of evil; you must conquor each" "old" "butthurt"
WHAT DOES BRAN DO

Finish Kurt's unfinished business in slowpoke well

re-mortgages his parents' home to buy food for him

conquering each, not an activity you can do on an empty stomach

becomes blood brothers with GWONAM, causing GWONAM to catch AIDS and die.

CHAPTOUR THREE:
Bran takes out his knife and shuffles toward Gwonam. Gwonam sweats. Bran grabs Gwonam's hand and slices it open. Gwonam launches a blast of FOETAL DISCHARGE at Bran and Angry Man, sending them colliding into the hard earth of Koridai. Bran turns around and re-mortgages his parents' house, selling the saved money to buy food for him. Bran then marches to Slowpoke Well to finish Kurty's unfinished business.
Bran parachutes into the well, rolling into a member of Team Rocket. Bran takes out his sword and beheads the member of Team Rocket. Bran charges at the next, defeating an army of Zubats before finally stabbing his sword through the Team Rocket commander's heart. "what about my kids" Bran look at the Team Rocket commander and twists his sword further into his chest. "this is for greta" Bran pulls his sword out and the Team Rocket commander falls to the ground, dead.
WHAT DOES BRAN DO

sit down to tea and baklava with the commandour, in which they realize they share the same life goals, and become good friends for all eternity

feed the Team Rocket commander to a pack of Slowpokes.

CHAPTOUR FOUR:
Bran takes the Team Rocket commander by the hand. The two skip through a field of baklava for two straight days. TEAM ROCKET COMMANDER HAS JOINED THE PARTY The four walk through the baklava, fighting baklava wolves. "i can't find you in the baklava" Gwonam is nowhere to be found. "the night is yours, true dish" Bran sets the baklava on fire. "aaaaaaaaaaaaah watch out"
WHAT DOES BRAN DO

in an attempt to save gwonam, angry man dies in a very trivial way and is replaced by someone with identical stats and moves but with better charisma

angry man is never brought up again

CHAPTOUR FIVE:
Angry Man dies of AIDS. Gwonam, Team Rocket Leader and Bran walk forward and meet Choleric Man. CHOLERIC MAN HAS JOINED THE PARTY The four walk into Kittenmarsh and are met with a barrage of kittens! This makes Choleric Man very choleric.
WHAT DOES BRAN DO

take a kitten hostage until the kitten overlord has no choice but to let you pass through the fuzzy forest and on your way to BIGGER AND BETTER THINGS

CHAPTOUR SIX:
Bran takes a kitten hostage and waits. Choleric Man gets choleric from the wait. Gwonam and Team Rocket Commander play cards. After twenty years, Bran wonders where his life went astray. After reflecting on his life for a further ten years, Bran, Choleric Man, Gwonam and Team Rocket Commander set off through the fuzzy forest to a new life.
END OF EPISODE ONE
STILL CHAPTOUR SIX, BUT A DIFFERENT EPISODE:
A man jumps out in front of Bran. "give me the diamonds"
WHAT DOES BRAN DO

happily give over the diamonds so that they can continue on the road to a new lifeshire