Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] IV: A Choose-Your-Own Adventure

Well, seeing as Jesus has already demolished the front pew, I guess the back pew it is!!!

he looks down at the hymnal in front of him, and it gleams at him, as if someone is subtly hinting to him this there may be hidden item inside it

rubs long powder on his legs, so this he can plant his bum firmly in the back pew but his legs stretch so far this his feet are where they would be in the front pew had he sat in the front pew without rubbing long powder on his legs

CHAPTOUR SIX:
Jakey runs long powder up and down his legs, rubbing every inch of his legs with such intensity this even Jack White is impressed. Jakey walks over to the back pew and plants his firmly into the back pew. Jakey then uses his super-long legs to stretch over all of the other pews, his legs landing where they would have had he kicked it in the front pew without rubbing long powder on his legs.
All of a sudden, Jakey hears a scream from upstairs! "I'LL SAVE YOU QUICKSTER" Jakey stretches his arms up and grabs The Quickster, bringing him down to his level. "hello" "hello" "it's me" Robed Guy comes in. "hello" "hello" Robed Guy shoots at Jakey and The Quickster.
WHAT DOES JAKEY DO

Summon the Blue Eyes White Dragon in attack mode

CHAPTOUR SEVEN:
Jakey summons the Blue-Eyes White Dragon IN ATTACK MODE "you've activated my" Blue-Eyes White Dragon falls into a bottomless pit. "but blue-eyes white dragon has wings!!!" "butthurt" "NO U" "NO ME" Jakey grabs The Quickster and leaps out the window. "well this was nice" The two run to a cabin. "hey it's me " Guys burst through the windows. "this is less than ideal " Guys get shot, Jack White leaves, Dennis cuts off Jakey's head, Jakey stashes The Quickster in a dumpster. The Big Guy comes in. "hello" "hello" The Big Guy grabs Jakey by the neck. "i love you too, the big guy!!!"
WHAT DOES JAKEY DO

lures the big guy into his carefully planted, well thought-out

express his love to sir big guy with a tear-inducing, acoustic rendition of Tornado of Souls

CHAPTOUR EIGHT:
Jakey grabs his [acoustic] guitar and plays The Big Guy a passionate rendition of Tornado of Souls. The Big Guy drops Jakey, a single tear streaming down his face. "you've fallen right into my" The Big Guy explodes. "wow" "hello" "hello" The Big Guy wraps his spine around Jakey. "i love you too, the big guy!!!" Jakey takes out his [acoustic] guitar and plays The Big Guy a decent rendition of Friday. The Big Guy drops etc. THE POINT IS THE BIG GUY DIES Jakey gasps, a single tear streaming down his face. Jakey holds The Big Guy in his arms for one final time. THEN HE AND THE QUICKSTER GO TO A CASTLE
"hey it's me" The Little Guy comes out. "i will send my right hand to destroy you!!!" "your right hand comes off?!?!"
WHAT DOES JAKEY DO

throws quickster at little guy in slow motion

CHAPTOUR NINE:
Jakey chucks The Quickster at The Little Guy in slow quick motion. The Little Guy dodges and takes The Quickster hostage! "fuck!!!" WORDS TO FILL SPACE WORDS TO FILL SPACE WORDS TO FILL SPACE WORDS TO FILL SPACE WORDS TO FILL SPACE WORDS TO FILL SPACE WORDS TO FILL SPACE WORDS TO FILL SPACE WORDS TO FILL SPACE WORDS TO FILL SPACE WORDS TO FILL SPACE WORDS TO FILL SPACE WORDS TO FILL SPACE WORDS TO FILL SPACE WORDS TO FILL SPACE WORDS TO FILL SPACE WORDS TO FILL SPACE WORDS TO FILL SPACE WORDS TO FILL SPACE WORDS TO FILL SPACE WORDS TO FILL SPACE WORDS TO FILL SPACE Jakey heads downstairs and finds The Blind Guy. "hello" "hello" The Blind Guy stabs Jakey. "ow"
WHAT DOES JAKEY DO

wrassle The Blind guy to the ground and use the finishing move to clinch the match

but the princess is in a different castle (crying)

CHAPTOUR TEN:
Jakey tackles The Blind Guy and the two engage in a WRASSLIN match. Jakey overpowers The Blind Guy and uses his finishing move to
Jakey runs to the back of the castle, but The Quickster is in another castle! "hello" "hello" The Little Guy covers himself in harlequin foetus. "I AM ALL-POWERFUL" "old" Jakey shoots a rocket at The Little Guy. "I WASN'T READY" A single tear streams down The Little Guy's face before he explodes. Jakey hops onto a boat and boatboats to the island. "hello" "hello" Chad shoots Jakey dead. "thanks chad"
WHAT DOES JAKEY DO

split up and look for CLUES

CHAPTOUR ELEVEN:
Jakey draws his sword. "this is it, i guess" Jakey pluges his sword deep into his own stomach. "ow" Jakey falls to the ground, dead. Bran and Eif look on, astonished, while Taylor and Tony play Battleship. Bran rushes to Jakey's side and picks his up in his arms, a single tear streaming down his cheek. Jakey whispers into Bran's ear. "the game" Jakey fades from existance. Bran chucks Jakey's corpse into the volcano and walks off to avenge his death. "hey guys what's up" "jakey you always miss when exciting shit happens!!!" "NO U" "NO ME"
Also, Jakey splits up and looks for clues.
WHAT DOES JAKEY DO

he recruits horatio to help in his investigation to find the Prack smugglers

he looks in-the cabinet, finding Chad who has been beaten and maimed within an inch of his life

he almost delivers the final blow, but his morality is still in the pink

CHAPTOUR TWELVE:
Jakey looks in the cupboard and finds Chad bound and gagged! "hello" "hello" Jakey unsheaths his katana and rears back to deliver the final killing blow. Jakey starts his swing, but The Quickster grabs Jakey's blade. "qu-quickster?!" "hello" "hello" "yeah you totally should kill him and stuff" "NO U" "NO ME" The Quickster jabs Chad in the windpipe, crushing it. A single tear streams down The Quickster's face, and Jakey leads him to the JET-SKI FOR SOME AWESOME STUNTS
The Quickster looks Jakey straight in the eyes, eyes alight with the smoldering fires of rage. "how about we go back to my place for some overtime" "eeewww"
CONTINUED AS FUCK

CHAPTOUR TWENTY-NINE:
Jakey and the gang return home with The Quickster. "jack white i" "save it the look on your face is enough" Jakey and Jack White embrace. A single tear streams down Jakey's face, then lands on Jack White's face, and begins the streaming process anew. Jakey and Jack White engage in a passionate kiss, and Jakey carries Jack White to bed for some HOT LOVIN TONIGHT. Michelle runs up to The Robed Guy and the two embrace. "eeewww" "get a room you two" "NO U" "NO ME"
"lo all" Stevman does a kneeslide, and plays a powerchord. "THAT'S OUR STEVMAN" Then Michelle's like "take me home'. THE END.

vot

Tony

Tman

Tony777

TONY:
CHAPTOUR ONE:
"oh tony i won't make it" "tony's mother you must!!!" "but tony my legs hurt" "NO U" "NO ME" "guys come on the darkspawn are coming" "old" Tony, Tony's mother, Bethany and Carver run away from the burning wreckage of their former home. "ow i have been stabbed" "old" Aveline kills some darkspawn. "i am a masculine female character who tony can flirt with" "eeewww" "butthurt" "but i want to court bethany" "dude i'm your sister" "i don't see how that is relevant to the discussion at hand" "quick there are more darkspawn coming" "0/10"
WHAT DOES TONY DO

tony doesn't vote because he's a faggot

tony turns to the darkspawn, with fire in his eyes

"now bear my arctic blast!"

he fires his arctict blast at the horde hope he kills them