Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] XVI

CHAPTOUR ONE:
"okay guys listen; the four of us have been selected to represent rpgboot in this edition of smash bros (though i personally would have traded eif for sheriff antony)" "no guns allowed in here though" "a definite shame, but i still think we can win the smash bowl and bring honour and glory to our home series" "the mario series heavily outnumbers everyone though" "well to be fair one of them is a pink princess who gets kidnapped every other day so that's one we can count out" "i'm more afraid of luigi anyway; one misfire and you're DONE" "i think mr. game and watch is going to surprise us all and win the whole thing" "there's something about him; he looks like he's killed before" "i just hope we don't run into the wii fit trainer; i don't even know if we're physically able to get fit" "i don't think our bodies could support our heads if we got fit" "that's the trouble with not having necks i suppose" "well it's time for some recon; let's mingle" "dibs on samus" "goddammit" The other three men trudge out of the tent while Bran exits, head held high. His head held so high, in fact, that he trips over Pikachu, who sends a thousand volts through his body. "LIFE IS PAIN" "so uh taylor you go hang out with the fire emblems and see how they're multiplying so fast; eif you go hang out with the former assist trophies and learn their secrets so we can get tony and michelle into the fray, and i'll go check out the SUBSPACE FOETUS KNIGHTS"
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip Soulcalibur: Broken Destiny. "so like" "yeah?" "what now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "but i already have them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was mean" "OKAY" Jakey runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of electricity. Electricity shoots from Jakey's left hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job jakey" "yeah you're pretty cool" "you mean it?!" "no" "fuck"

CHAPTOUR TWO:
Taylor gazes through the headlines as he heads to the check-out counter. "let's see... 'princess peach kidnapped again'; 'ridley: too big for smash'; 'link and princess zelda: tragic break-up'" Taylor mulls over what he just read for half a second, then drops all his groceries and picks up some flowers before running off to the ladies' dorm. "oh so you've heard as well" Taylor looks over to see Jakey, Bran, King Dedede, Robin, and Pit all holding flowers outside the ladies' dorm. "robin aren't you married" "oh i don't want zelda to marry ME; i want her to marry donnel so they can create a superhuman soldier" "oh that makes sense" "i don't know why any of you even came; i am obviously the best choice, as a marriage between princess zelda of hyrule and king bran of alabama will lead to prosperous trade relations between both countries" "need i remind you that i am also a king" "mmm yes i imagine miss zelda would very much enjoy being married to a fat lazy penguin" "SURELY YOU JESTIN'" "not fucking even" King Dedede leaps on top of Bran, and the two roll away in a cloud of dust beating the shit out of eachother. "so that leaves you two animes and us two child's drawings" "well miss zelda is also an anime so i think we've got the advantage" "oh goddammit you're right" Jakey holds his head in his hands. "you don't even have hands" "if only my real life counterpart weren't so shitty at drawing" Princess Zelda exits the ladies' dorm and sees the four men standing there holding flowers. "oh sora these flowers are beautiful" "wha-" Princess Zelda gives Pit a big hug. "you've earned yourself access to the kingdom of my heart" "what no i'm not-" "come on don't be shy" Princess Zelda grabs Pit forcefully by the hand and drags him off. Suddenly, the three rejected men are surrounded by SUBSPACE FOETUS KNIGHTS
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip Sonic the Fighters. "so like" "yeah?" "what now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "but i already have them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was mean" "OKAY" Bran runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of ice. Ice shoots from Bran's left hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job bran" "yeah you're pretty cool" "you mean it?!" "no" "fuck"

CHAPTOUR THREE:
"HEY SQUIRTLE YOU SUCK" "squirtle?" "YOU HEARD ME, NOT-FULLY EVOLVED PIECE OF SHIT" "SQUIRTLE" "WHO THE FUCK PICKS A PURE WATER Pokémon WITH SUCH A SHIT MOVEPOOL" "SQUIRTLE SQUIRTLE SQUIRT" "YOUR MOTHER WAS A DITTO FOUND ON WONDER TRADE" "SQUIRTLE SQUIRTLE" Squirtle runs over to Jakey and blasts him with geysers of water. "yaaaaaaawn" Jakey fires a bolt of electricity out of his hand, which is super-effective. "squirtle" Jakey grabs Squirtle's limp body and throws him into a dumpster. "all right; come on in it's all good" Totodile waddles into the facility. "if anyone asks, squirtle got kicked out for being a scrub" "totodile" "that's the spirit" "yo jakey where'd squirtle go; we were supposed to play some tennis" "he got kicked out of the smash bros for being such a bush-league scrub" "then why are you still here" "oh ho ho ho you funny little fuck" "totodile" "you said it bro; we out" Jakey and Totodile leave Bran behind. "i guess i'll have to play with a SUBSPACE FOETUS KNIGHT"
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip Mortal Kombat Armageddon. "so like" "yeah?" "what now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "but i already have them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was mean" "OKAY" Taylor runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of wind. Wind shoots from Taylor's left hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job taylor" "yeah you're pretty cool" "you mean it?!" "no" "fuck"

CHAPTOUR FOUR:
"so uh i hear you're a ninja" "greninja" "yes a great ninja; i need you to do a job for me i will pay well" "greninja-ninja" "right; so i need you to uh 'take care of' this guy" Eif holds up a picture of Diddy Kong. "greninja?" Eif hands Greninja a sack of cash, containing 1,000 gold coins. "i'll give you the other half when the job's done" Eif brushes his hand past his nose and nods as he walks off. "greninja" Greninja sneaks over in the shadows to where Diddy Kong and Dixie Kong are hanging out. "ook ook" "eek ook" "ook" Greninja launches a shuriken right into Diddy Kong's neck, decapitating him. "OOK OOK" Greninja disappears into the night, appearing right before Eif. "the job's done?" "greninja" "good" Eif hands Greninja the rest of his reward, and Greninja disappears again into the shadows. Eif casually strolls over to where Diddy and Dixie were, and spys Dixie crying over Diddy's corpse. "oh my god what happened" "ook ook eek" "i-i'm so sorry; we need to give him a proper burial" "ook ook" "oh there there" Eif leans in to give Dixie Kong a hug, but he is betrayed by his massive erection. "OOK EEK" "wait wait it's not what you think" "EEK EEK OOK" "NO NO PLEASE LET ME EXPLAIN" The alarms sound in the entire complex, causing Eif to be surrounded by SUBSPACE FOETUS KNIGHTS
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip Tekken 5: Dark Resurrection. "so like" "yeah?" "what now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "but i already have them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was mean" "OKAY" Eif runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of fire. Fire shoots from Eif's left hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job eif" "yeah you're pretty cool" "you mean it?!" "no" "fuck"

CHAPTOUR FIVE:
Bran walks in on Jakey slaving over a boiling pot. "yo jakey what are you up to" "i'm preparing to make a tub of straight gatorade, to add flavours to later" "wait what how-" "so there's this newcomer king k. rool right and he's a gator and you know what they say - when life gives you gators, make gatorade" "he's a crocodile" "oh same fucking thing" "not really-" "sshhh shhh here he comes" King K. Rool strolls down the hall, content in his plan to get that Kong. "on three we jump him and throw him in the pot" "i-" "ready THREE" Jakey jumps out onto King K. Rool, who swats him away with his tail and keeps on going. "BRAN YOU MISSED YOUR CUE" "intentionally" "WAY TO LEAVE YOUR BRO HIGH AND DRY; I WAS EVEN GOING TO SHARE MY GATORADE WITH YOU" "he's a crocodile, and the rpgboot franchise is already on thin ice after what eif did to diddy kong" "he had another stock it was fine" "so you're saying you condone what he did" "man i'd have done the same; that is one hot monkey" "..." Bran slowly backs away from Jakey, then begins to sprint when he gets far enough away. "aw who needs him; i'll just convert this gatorade to SUBSPACE FOETUS KNIGHTADE"
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip Virtua Fighter 3. "so like" "yeah?" "what now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "but i already have them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was mean" "OKAY" Tony runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of earth. Earth shoots from Tony's left hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job tony" "yeah you're pretty cool" "you mean it?!" "no" "fuck"

CHAPTOUR SIX:
"OKAY JAKEY YOU CAN DO THIS YOU'RE UNDEFEATED IN THE RING; LITTLE MAC ISN'T GOING TO KNOW WHAT HIT HIM" "but i want him to know it was me" "i'm sure they'll tell him later" "oh okay" "IN THIS CORNER, WEIGHING IN AT 250 POUNDS, THE UNDEFEATED JAKEY" Eif presses a button on his tape player, causing cheers to erupt from the speakers. "AND IN THIS CORNER, WEIGHING IN AT 125 POUNDS, OUR CHAMPION, LITTLE MAC" The crowd actually cheers for Little Mac, but it doesn't faze Jakey one bit. He will prove in the ring why he is undefeated, one way or another. The bell rings, and the two boxers bounce to the middle and touch gloves in a show of mutual respect. Little Mac is the first to unleash a punch, knocking Jakey out in one blow. "DING DING" The W/L record for Jakey ticks to "0-1". Eif throws his hat and fake moustache to the ground in disgust as Little Mac side-Bs out of the ring in a show of disrespect. The janitors drag Jakey out of the ring for the next match to start, Taylor vs. A SUBSPACE FOETUS KNIGHT
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip King of Fighters Neowave. "so like" "yeah?" "what now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "but i already have them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was mean" "OKAY" Michelle runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of light. Light shoots from Michelle's right hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job michelle" "yeah you're pretty cool" "you mean it?!" "no" "fuck"

CHAPTOUR SEVEN:
"hey guys check out this cake i found" "you just... FOUND a cake" "yeah" "like, lying on the ground" "well it was on kirby's bed-" "DUDE PUT THAT BACK" "GET THAT FUCKING THING AWAY FROM ME" "dude i-" "KIRBY WILL FUCK YOUR SHIT UP" "he's just a-" "TINY BALL OF CONCENTRATED HATRED AND ANGER IS WHAT HE IS" "PUT THAT BACK BEFORE YOU GET US ALL KILLED" "come on what's the worst that could happen" Taylor takes a bite of Kirby's delicious cake as Kirby himself walks by. "poyo?! POYO?!" "AH FUCK HE'S HERE" "AND HE'S FUCKING PISSED" Jakey and Bran run away in opposite directions as fast as they can as Kirby's rage reaches its boiling point. "POYO" Kirby begins to inhale, and all things enter his mouth. Reality as we know it is sucked into him. Time, space, they are all inside Kirby now. Unsatisfied, Kirby turns his rage toward the heavens, sucking up the Lord and His angels, as well as His kingdom of heaven. His rage not yet subsided, Kirby sucks in A SUBSPACE FOETUS KNIGHT
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip Guilty Gear Xrd. "so like" "yeah?" "what now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "but i already have them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was mean" "OKAY" Amiee :3 runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of pastry. Pastry shoots from Amiee :3's right hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job amiee :3" "yeah you're pretty cool" "you mean it?!" "no" "fuck"

CHAPTOUR EIGHT:
"all right boys just as we rehearsed it" "aw yeah" The men take their positions on-stage. "everybodyyyy yeah" "(yeah-eah)" "rock your bodyyyy-yeah" "(yeah-eah)" "everybodyyyyy-yeah pacstreet's back ALL RIGHT" "ALL RIGHT" The crowd erupts in applause as Pac-Man, Luigi, Lucas, Jakey, and Taylor dance to their song as the musical supergroup the Pacstreet Boys. Unfortunately, Eif, Bran, Link, Kirby, and Captain Falcon have formed their own supergroup called *NFYNK. They cut the lights on the Pacstreet Boys' performance and begin their own. "here we goooooooo" "HERE WE GO ONE MORE TIME EVERYBODY'S FEELIN' FINE HERE WE GO NOW" "WHAT THE FUCK THEY JUST STOLE OUR AUDIENCE" Jakey angrily stomps over to the opposing stage's circuitbreaker and pumps all the electricity he can into it, overloading it and setting the other performers on fire. "eat shit you fucking copycat pieces of shit" "that's cannibalism though" Kirby smiles at the mention of any kind of eating, and inhales his entire group. "well that was easy" "now to get back to performing our hit single, quit playing games with my SUBSPACE FOETUS KNIGHT"
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip Killer Instinct. "so like" "yeah?" "what now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "but i already have them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was mean" "OKAY" Sheriff Antony runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of imagination. Imagination shoots from Sheriff Antony's left hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job sheriff antony" "yeah you're pretty cool" "you mean it?!" "no" "fuck"

CHAPTOUR NINE:
"all right it's the bottom of the ninth; the mario team is ahead by three runs, and the bases are loaded like a freight train; unfortunately, we also have two outs; i know that it hasn't been the best chemistry-wise, since we had to combine our three series together; rpgboot, mother, and fire emblem, and we may be the underdogs, but we can win this" "but no one believes in us" "NOT TRUE; I BELIEVE IN US" "no one that matters believes in us" Jakey slaps Eif upside the head with a catcher's mitt. "okay so we've got ness, taylor, and ike on base, and next in the batting order is corrin; waluigi may be the greatest pitcher of the age, but call me the prince of wales; i've got a trick up my sleeve" "don't tell me we're pinch-hitting corrin" "okay i won't tell you that, but that won't stop it from being the truth" "who the fuck can replace corrin though" "check it" Jakey motions in Agnew, wearing a Corrin costume. "baseball" "jesus fuck he's not even an actual smash bro; this is illegal as fuck" "yes it is; i locked the real corrin in the bathroom for a bit; she'll be let out after we win and make an excuse for why she doesn't remember any of this" "AND NEXT ON THE MOUND IS CORRIN, FROM THE FIRE EMBLEM SERIES" "you're up, corrin" "baseball" "CORRIN SO FAR HAS HAD A POOR DAY AT BAT, DESPITE SHINING IN THE OUTFIELD" "RIGHT YOU ARE BOB; NOT WHO YOU WANT AT BAT WHEN IT'S DO OR DIE" "WALUIGI WINDS UP FOR THE PITCH, AND CORRIN SLAMS IT OUT OF THE PARK" "THE MISFIT UNDERDOG TEAM WINS JUST LIKE A REAL SPORTS MOVIE" "baseball" Jakey hurries Agnew out of the park, and he runs off for his next game. Marth lets the real Corrin out of the bathroom. "did we win" "はい" "i knew that with the power of friendship, we would emerge victorious" "また、力の不正行為の" "well, when you can't beat 'em, cheat 'em" Agnew tosses aside his Corrin costume, and it is adopted as a new shell by A SUBSPACE FOETUS HERMIT CRAB
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip BlazBlue: Continuum Shift. "so like" "yeah?" "what now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "but i already have them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was mean" "OKAY" Kathy runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of knives. Knives shoots from Kathy's right hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job kathy" "yeah you're pretty cool" "you mean it?!" "no" "fuck"

CHAPTOUR TEN:
"okay i couldn't sell you on corrin's ability to win you the baseball match, but how about these LEGENDARY WEAPONS" "well uh" "they don't look so legendary to me" "but they were used to slay the horrible monster!!!" "what horrible monster" "you know that one that was terrorising that nation" "what nation" "uh the mushroom kingdom" "what was the beast's name" "uh wart" "oh yeah, that guy" The five pay for their legendary swords and exit the factory, and are immediately eaten by a giant piranha plant. "aw we didn't even have time to make snide comments" "and i had the best one lined up!!!" "really what was it" "nah the moment's passed" "come on tell me" "no" "please" "okay, it was 'that-'" "no you have to do the voice" "the... voice?" "you know the bran voice" "you mean... my voice?" "no i mean the 'oh look i am bran rargh'" "oh right; ahem: 'that is the third-largest plant i have ever seen'" "..." "..." "better than last time at least" "anyway now how do we get out of here" "taylor, use your grass powers!!!" "i have wind powers" "goddammit" "why are you so useless taylor" "hey i have an idea" "tell me the idea" "let's BURN the plant" "..." "..." "EIF THIS IS NO TIME FOR YOUR SHITTY JOKES" "HEY MY JOKES ARE GREAT" "0/10" "FUCK" "guys let's ICE the plant" "great idea bran!!!" "but guys fire-" "eif stop being mad just because your power is shitty and not very effective against grass" Bran blasts the planet with ice, freeing the five. "it sure is cold here in the vacuum of space" "i've been colder" Suddenly, someone changes the bag. "oh no i did not see this coming" The five are emptied into a trash can, where they find A SUBSPACE FOETUS KNIGHT
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip Dead or Alive Dimensions. "so like" "yeah?" "what now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "but i already have them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was mean" "OKAY" Mr. Sock runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of sandals. Sandals shoots from Mr. Sock's right hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job mr sock" "yeah you're pretty cool" "you mean it?!" "no" "fuck"

CHAPTOUR ELEVEN:
"man i am such a low-tier character" "yeah dog your recovery is SHIT as are your jabs, tilts, smash attacks, and throws" "how will i ever become competitive" "sounds like you need some sort of edge" Sakurai beckons Bendik over to his stand. "THIS is the smash ball, which activates your ULTIMATE ATTACK" "oh boy i need this since you gave me a really shitty moveset" "unforunately someone turned items off so you can't have it" "but-" "goodbye" Sakurai slams shut the metal gate on his stand, shutting Bendik and Brucie out. "aw man" "you really needed that, as your next match is against the high-tier SUBSPACE FOETUS KNIGHT"
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip Street Fighter III: 2nd Impact - Giant Attack. "So Like" "yeah?" "What Now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "But I Already Have Them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "Take That Back" "okay yeah that was mean" "Okay" Robert Truckdriver runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of Damage Inc.. Damage Inc. shoots from Robert Truckdriver's right hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job robert truckdriver" "yeah you're pretty cool" "You Mean It?!" "no" "fuck"

CHAPTOUR TWELVE:
"well now to find out who has stolen our ball and used it as leverage to make us participate in the smash bros. tournament (as if we wouldn't have come anyway)" Jakey opens a door, and everyone falls out onto Final Destination, where Master Hand and Crazy Hand are waiting. "really should have seen this one coming" "give us back our ball or else we will be forced to tell teacher!!!" Master Hand flicks Jakey off of Final Destination, taking one of his two stocks. "well i am fresh out of ideas" "if only sheriff antony were here to help us" "shame about what happened to him" "he was a real great guy" "r.i.p." "yes, r.i.p. and get well soon" "maybe we should get backup from a different series" "ooh yeah call samus" "good idea that way if we lose at least we'll get to ogle her breasts one last time before we go to the great beyond" "maybe even cop a feel" "i plan on shoving my head into her chestal region; damn the consequences" "not if i do it first!!!" Eif calls for Samus, and she appears, clad in her armour. Jakey and Taylor shove their faces into her chest, getting bloody noses from smashing them into metal. Samus looks downward at the two men, clutching their noses, then up at the two hands, which seem to be confused. "how much" "?" "i'm a BOUNTY hunter i can't be expected to hunt without a bounty" "oh right; do you accept friendly handshakes" "no" "alabama fun bux, then?" "fine" "10,000" "per hand?" Bran begins to sweat. "uh sure" "sweet" Samus gets to work, and swiftly defeats both hands while Bran writes a cheque. "probably should have asked mario or link for help and said they have the princess" "hindsight is 20/20" Bran hands Samus her cheque, and she teleports off. "well we got our ball back at least"

CHAPTOUR THIRTEEN:
"mother i have returned" "who are you" "your son, tony" "i don't have a son" "but wait that means..." Tony fades from existence. "..." "..." "how did" "lo all" Stevman teleports in on his time machine, does a kneeslide, and plays a powerchord. "THAT'S OUR STEVMAN" Michelle walks up to the group and rests her arms on their shoulders. "take me home"
THE END