Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] IV: A Choose-Your-Own Adventure

not-eif























































okay eif

CHAPTOUR ONE:
Eif snaps awake. "oh wow" Eif walks to the bathroom, and splashes cold water on his face. "remind me never to do that again" All of a sudden, a Dragonite flies through Eif's apartment! Eif lands on the Dragonite's back, struggling to hold on. The Dragonite approaches terminal velocity and stops. Dragonite hits the ground with a sickening crack. Every bone in Dragonite's body is completely broken. Eif walks over to Dragonite, a single tear streaming down his cheek. "dr-dragonite" Dragonite opens its eyes a bit and smiles. "dragonite i" "shh" Dragonite puts the tip of its wing over Eif's mouth. "just remember eif i love..." Dragonite takes one final breath. "margaret" Dragonite closes its eyes for the final time, its body going limp and lifeless.
Eif decides to head home after hearing the news of his deceased Dragonite. After leaving the airport, Eif gets picked up by Officer Jack White! "hey eif have you killed any cops lately i think you have " Jack White takes Eif's money and kicks him out in Ballads turf!
WHAT DOES EIF DO

shouts about how much he hates police in hope that a gang will hear him be wowed at his dislike for police and recruit him and give him a home complete with facilities such as

forms the first ever band not to contain jack white with the aim of making jack white buttcofagrigus

vow to kill jack white in an attempt to avenge his long lost cousin

also scout the tall grass in ballad's land in hopes of finding a replacement for dragonite (if there could ever be such a thing)

CHAPTOUR TWO:
Eif, Ryder, Big Smoke and The Sweet form a jazz trio named "Mother Nature's Son", after a song by The Kinks. "you guys formed a band and didn't invite me whaaaaaaaaaat " "butthurt" Jack White runs off, crying. "We Sure Showed Him Guys" "you said it big smoke"
Eif exits Ryder's house. "sigh" "eif i know you're sad about dragonite but man you need to get back up on the ponyta man" "old" Eif walks off to the tall grass, Pokeorb in hand. "dragonite i have to continue on please forgive me" Eif chucks the Pokeorb and hears a clicking sound. Eif takes a deep breath and grabs the Pokeorb. Eif releases the Pokemon inside from captivity. "hello" "hello" Chandelure yawns. "how do you feel" "great" "great"
WHAT DOES EIF DO

he should totally use chandelure to light darkened corridors as he searches for LOOT

eif goes through an internal struggle as to whether he should continue his pokeadventures with sir lure or tour the swiss alps with Mother Nature's Son.

he decides to confront the oracle of delphi for a solution

eif and chandelure go on a wicked adventure to prove to everyone in the land of ballads that they dislike police more than anyone

CHAPTOUR THREE:
Eif puts Chandelure back into his Pokeorb. "should i be doing this" "sure why not LOL" "dragonite!!!" "eif i just want you to be happy" "old" "Eif We Are Going To Follow The Damn Train" "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" Eif hops onto the dirtbike, a single tear streaming down his cheek. Big Smoke gets on back and Eif starts following the damn train. After killing 100 Vagos, the damn train flies away. "All We Had To Do Was Follow The Damn Train" Eif collapses to the ground, a single tear streaming down his cheek. Distraught, Eif walks to Greece to confront the Oracle of Seasons. "oracle i" "90 PRECOURSOUR OURBS OURE REQUYOURED TOU PASS" "FUCK"
WHAT DOES EIF DO

have a charity gig with chandelure on acoustic bass to raise money for japan, but then use the raised money to buy the 90 required precoursour orbs to hear what his fate is from sir cle

sign up on the global link site and use the dream world to find the precoursour ourbs and send them to the entralink

CHAPTOUR FOUR:
"how will i raise precoursour ourbs" "I Have An Idea" "old" "Why Not Have A Charity Gig For 9/11" "but 9/11 was ten years ago" ">Implying It Wasn't The Greatest Tragedy In History And People Aren't Still Recovering From It" "why did i ever question you big smoke" Mother Nature's Son goes on tour in France to raise money. "and you're playing a gig without me, eif?! poor form " "i'm sorry i offended your delicate sensibilities" Jack White storms off, enfuriated that his delicate sensibilities were offended.
Eif returns to the Oracle of Seasons with the Ourbs. "hey i got your ourbs" "OULD" Eif chucks the Ourbs at the Oracle of Seasons. "WOUW" "I\'m sorry that I offended your delicate sensibilities." "I\'m sorry that I offended your delicate sensibilities." Eif takes out his gun. "WHAT OURE YOU DOUYNG EIF" "i'm sorry oracle you brought this upon yourself" Eif fires at the Oracle of Seasons, a single tear streaming down his cheek. The bullet pierces the Oracle of Seasons's skull, killing it instantly. Eif drops his gun and runs to the Oracle of Ages. "ORACLE I" "40,000 bolts are required to access this terminal" "FUCK"
WHAT DOES EIF DO

use the command console to enter the "unlock" command to bypass such a gruelling process, then spend 30 years collecting the bolts anyway just because

holds a funeral for the departed oracle of seasons, giving an emotional speech through his tears while surrounded by his and the oracle of seasons' closest friends, before kissing the oracle of seasons one last time, confessing his love and sending the oracle of seasons' spirit to the maker to live in eternal peace

oh and gets some donuts he is hungry

CHAPTOUR FIVE:
Eif decides right then and there that he will not rest, he will not sleep for an instant, until the Oracle of Seasons is avenged. But first he decides to get some donuts. "hey eif fancy meeting you here why not burn down a gang house " "NO U" "NO ME" Eif heads to the gang house and chucks harlequin foetus at it. "help help" "oh god that girl is gonna die!!!" "old" "i'm sorry i offended your delicate sensibilities" "asl" "18/m/los santos LOL" "12/f/los santos ROFL" "LMFAO"
Eif runs back to The Sweet's house. "we've got to get the band back together!!!" "old" "i'm sorry i offended your delicate sensibilities" "NO U" "NO ME" The four head down to get the band back together. "hey guys i sent these cops i hope you don't mind " "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"
WHAT DOES EIF DO

make the police I\'m sorry that I offended your delicate sensibilities. by saying "imperial guards are much better than you" before fleeing the scene

CHAPTOUR SIX:
"guys i've got to save the sweet" "Old" Eif runs into the building, chucking harlequin foetus at everything that moves. "hello" "hello" "we have to get to the roof!!!" "old" "omg a helicopter" "stop making shit up my god you're so childish" "Get Into The Car" Eif and The Sweet get into the car. "Guys I Have A Plan" Big Smoke drives through the car wash. "FUCK YOU BIG SMOKE MY EYE" "I Like Things Clean" "that's odd coming from such a DOUBLE NIGGER" Big Smoke stops the car, a single tear streaming down his cheek. "You Realise That This Means War" "old" "hey eif i've got something to show you!!!" "oh cesar hello i can't i'm busy having revenge being gotten on me" "COME ANYWAY FAG" "NO U" "NO ME" Eif heads off to see Cesar. "cesar this better be good" "hey these guys are betraying you" "old" "i'm sorry i offended your delicate sensibilities" Eif races to The Sweet's side. "bro i'm done" "NO DON'T SAY THAT BRO" A single tear streams down The Sweet's face. "the game" The Sweet goes lifeless in Eif's arms. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
"hey eif we brought you out here to the back country and now you get to do jobs for us doesn't that sound great " "NO U" "NO ME" "oh also we took away your chandelure " "FUCK"
WHAT DOES EIF DO

eif swears revenge on orange for taking his beloved chandelure away oh then he throws a premier ball into the long grass hope he catches something that dislikes police as much as he

CHAPTOUR SEVEN:
Eif swears revenge on Orange for taking Chandelure away, and chucks a Pokeorb into the tall grass in hopes of catching something good. Eif hears a satisfying click and walks over to his Pokeorb. Eif sends out Kingler. "hello" "hello" "kingler i swear nothing will ever happen to you" "old" "hey eif go see my cousin" "o ok" Eif heads to see Cesar's cousin. "FUCK YOU I HATE YOU GO TO HELL YOU FUCKING STUPID FUCKS I FUCKING HATE YOU" "old" "COME THE FUCK ON YOU FUCKING EIF FUCK COME FUCK" "NO U" "NO ME" Eif and Catalina rob some shit. "HEY I'M GONNA FUCKING FUCK ADAM LAMBERT NOW FUCK" "AGAIN?!"
WHAT DOES EIF DO

wake up

slip further into the coma

he confronts adam lambert and challenges him to a pogo stick race down mount chiliad hope eif wins

CHAPTOUR EIGHT:
Eif challenges Adam Lambert to a pogo stick race down Mount Chiliad. Adam Lambert accepts, and the two ascend the mountain. "FUCK YOU GO ALREADY FUCK YOU YOU'RE TOO FUCKING SLOW EIF FUCK" Adam Lambert rockets to the moon, where he meets an identical clone of himself. "hello" "hello" Eif bounces his way to victoly in the meantime. "FUCKING TAKE THIS GARAGE FUCK YOU FUCK" Eif gets into the bus and drives to San Fierro. "hey eif i hope you weren't doing anything " "well i wa-" "anyway eif plant these drugs on this guy " "NO U" "NO ME"
WHAT DOES EIF DO

instead of planting the Prack he sells it and uses the money to buy food for him then he goes searching for frog