Pokémon Let's Fucking Go Flabébé

Be sure to read the other entries in the Pokémon series first: Pokémon InfernoRed and OceanBlue, Pokémon GlitteringGold and ShimmeringSilver, Pokémon VolcanicRuby and TidalSapphire, Pokémon InfiniteDiamond and BoundlessPearl, Pokémon EternityX and OblivionY, Pokémon BlazingSun and TranquilMoon, Pokémon Let's Fucking Go Pikachu, Pokémon Let's Fucking Go Marill, Pokémon Let's Fucking Go Skitty, and Pokémon Let's Fucking Go Bidoof.

CHAPTOUR ONE:
"hey there miss nyx i'm shauna here to deliver to you a Pokémon from professor sycamore but FIRST we need to give you a cute nickname" Nyx rolls her eyes at Shauna's endless enthusiasm. "nigger" "uh 'nigger' is already taken!!!" "negro" "'negro'!!! that will do nicely!!! here is the flabébé the professor wanted to give to you!!!" "oh nice; come on flabby let's get started" "flab!!!"
Soon, Nyx makes her way to Lumiose City. "sorry miss the road is closed due to an overturned pants truck being ravaged by a woman from unova" "ew you let people from that shithole into kalos?!" "we're trying to deport her back to where she came from but we can't get close to her; she must be wearing a hundred pairs of pants" "have you tried throwing grenades" "oh now that's a good idea"

CHAPTOUR TWO:
As pairs of pants rain down upon Lumiose City, Nyx heads into the nearby gym. "hello and welcome to the lumiose gym!!! i'm your host!!! bonnie!!! today's contestant is one nikes!!! a native kalosian!!! here your first question!!! WHO'S THAT POKéMON" "it's pikachu" "INCORRECT it is a new Pokémon called 'morpeko'" "no i'm pretty sure you just painted a pikachu and cut its ears short" "NO THIS IS AN ENTIRELY NEW POKéMON NEXT QUESTION: WHO'S THAT POKéMON" "pikachu with some wings taped onto it" "it's emolga you dip" "just because your pikachu is wearing a halloween costume doesn't mean it's an entirely new Pokémon" "get out"

CHAPTOUR THREE:
Nyx enters Geosenge Town, formerly home of rocks, currently home of an inactive giant death beam. "that damn team rocket destroying our town with their death beam" "the death beam is much cooler than some dumb old rocks" "DUMB OLD ROCKS?! now you listen here missy i'm going to tell you all about these rocks!!! rocks are so cute cuddly LOVE THEM want to admire them all day warm surface so cute so amazing love it need it ROCKS!!!" "uh-" "here are five facts about rocks!!! 1: rocks are cool!!! 2: they're cute!!! 3: i love them!!! 4: rocks!!!" Nyx kicks a stone at her feet. "GUARDS GUARDS" All of a sudden, the guards bumrush Nyx and throw her out of town. "WE DON'T WANT YOU OR YOUR TEAM ROCKET FRIENDS IN THIS TOWN"

CHAPTOUR FOUR:
"hello there and welcome to shalour city!!! i am korrina, the city's gym leader, and YOU, my friend, look like you could use a lucario on your team" "no thanks" "i SAID you look like you could use a lucario on your team!!!" "i don't want your shitty fucking lucario now shut the fuck up and let me earn a gym badge" "i have no badge for ANYONE who disrespects lucario now get out of my sight"
Having burnt bridges now with two of Kalos's gyms, Nyx decides the best course of action is to disguise herself as a doormat. She heads back to Lumiose City and changes to brighter clothes and puts on a bright blonde wig and gives the fakest smile known to man. "welcome to lumiose gym i'm bonnie WHO'S THAT POKéMON" "it's pikachu" "wrong it is dedenne" "oh yes i can see now how totally unique that Pokémon is; it is one of arceus's special creatures and not just A FUCKING PIKACHU IN A FAT SUIT" Nyx throws her wig to the ground in disgust. "you again?! SECURITY" Nyx is kicked out of the Lumiose Gym, and banned from it a second time.

CHAPTOUR FIVE:
Not having been able to collect eight badges, Nyx cannot challenge the Elite Four and champion. This is probably for the better, because Champion Serena is on a flight bound for Kanto, hoping to meet her idol, Green.
"MAYDAY MAYDAY WE'RE GOING DOWN" As Serena's plane hurtles violently toward the ground, it is picked up and set down to the earth gently by a flock of Wingull. "okay passengers, good news and bad news!!! the good news is we didn't die" "hooray" "hooray" "hooray" "boo" "hooray" "the bad news is that we crash landed in hoenn" "oh dammit" The passengers disembark from the wreckage, and find themselves in Dewford Town. "yo yo yo foreign friends have you heard what's hip and happening?! the most hip thing in the world is CHAMPION DAWN" "WHAT no way; the most hip and happening thing in the world is ADORABLE BULBASAUR" "uh yeah totally i was just testing you i mean CHAMPION DAWN? so lame"

CHAPTOUR SIX:
Serena sits on the beach of Dewford Town, dejected. While she's glad that the people here recognise the greatness of Bulbasaur, she's still upset that she crashlanded so far from her destination, on a tropical island. She wasn't built for such warm weather. "hey what's the matter miss?!" "my plane crashed and i'm stranded here" "well hop aboard my boat!!! so long as you don't mind listening to me gush about my peeko" "oh i doubt you'll gush more than i will about bulbasaur" "a gushing contest?! you're on missy!!!" Serena climbs aboard Mr. Briney's boat, and they set sail eastward.
"so this here is pacifidlog town, home of hoenn's very own champion, may" "oh i've heard of her" "little-known fact: she's from johto originally" "really?!" Desperate to be able to talk on the phone with someone, Serena rushes for May's house. "uh hi there" "miss may i am serena the champion of kalos but i was born in johto an-" "johto?! give me your number i haven't talked on the phone in years now" Serena scribbles down her number, and May slams the door, and seconds later, Serena receives a phone call. "serena hi it's me may let me tell you all about this taillow i almost caught"

CHAPTOUR SEVEN:
With May's help, Serena leaves Hoenn and heads for Cerulean City in Kanto. There, Serena enters the gym and finds Green floating on an inflatable chair, Venusaur and Bellsprout standing as lifeguard, Snorlax and Abra sleeping, Milotic swimming around the pool, and a Slowpoke staring off into space. "miss green? i'm a big fan and-" "irene is that you again? i'm not going to give you a rematch until that pikachu hits level 100" "uh no i'm serena the champion of kalos" "oh uh what's up" "i'm a huge fan and i wanted to meet you" "grab a swimsuit and pull up a chair" Serena does as she's told, and pulls up beside Green. She lets her Bulbasaur go see Venusaur, and her Greninja play in the pool. "uh i got you a gift from kalos" Serena hands Green a Pokéball, which automatically teleports into the PC. "uh sorry i already had six Pokémon out" Green pulls her chair to the shore, and activates the PC nearby, trading out Bellsprout for her newest Pokémon. "oh my god this looks expensive" "it's a diancie i had to search all over kalos for it" "i can't accept this it's worth more than my house" "no it's fine take it hey can i have your phone number" Green pauses for a moment. "are you from johto" "yeah" Green begins to sweat, remembering just how much time Crystal has taken up with her constant phone calls. "uh n-no thanks" "oh well i understand pretty much everyone in kalos is the same way" "i can get you crystal's phone number if you'd like" "really?!" Green hands Serena a slip of paper, and Serena immediately dials the number. "yellow" "hello miss crystal i am serena the champion of the kalos region" "oh boy a new caller let me tell you all about this sentret i almost caught"
THE END