Pokémon Let's Fucking Go Skitty

Be sure to read the other entries in the Pokémon series first: Pokémon InfernoRed and OceanBlue, Pokémon GlitteringGold and ShimmeringSilver, Pokémon VolcanicRuby and TidalSapphire, Pokémon InfiniteDiamond and BoundlessPearl, Pokémon EternityX and OblivionY, Pokémon BlazingSun and TranquilMoon, Pokémon Let's Fucking Go Pikachu, and Pokémon Let's Fucking Go Marill.

CHAPTOUR ONE:
New trainer June enters Dewford Town with her Skitty, and is immediately accosted. "hey friend have you ever heard of ROMANTIC ENCYCLOPEDIA? it's the hottest of the hot and the coolest of the cool" "at the same time?" "yeah totally; ROMANTIC ENCYCLOPEDIA knows no boundaries!!!" "wow" "you'd really never heard of ROMANTIC ENCYCLOPEDIA before?" "sorry i must not be keeping up on trends; the last thing i remember being cool was THIRSTY BLOCK" "that was a long time ago friend" "well tell me more about ROMANTIC ENCYCLOPEDIA" "ROMANTIC ENCYCLOPEDIA is so cute cuddly LOVE IT want to read her all day warm pages so cute so amazing love it need it ROMANTIC ENCYCLOPEDIA!!!" "uh-" "here are five facts about ROMANTIC ENCYCLOPEDIA!!! 1: ROMANTIC ENCYCLOPEDIA is a trend!!! 2: she's cute!!! 3: i love her!!! 4: ROMANTIC ENCYCLOPEDIA!!!" "..." "..." "that was only four-" "i have so much official ROMANTIC ENCYCLOPEDIA merchandise that it will make the head spin!!! look here it's my ROMANTIC ENCYCLOPEDIA PEZ dispenser!!!" "do you actually eat the PEZ" "oh yeah i exclusively eat ROMANTIC ENCYCLOPEDIA-branded foods" "really? you're in great shape" "totally; i'd recommend the ROMANTIC ENCYCLOPEDIA diet to anyone!!!"

CHAPTOUR TWO:
June enters Mauville City. After Wattson's arrest, his granddaughter has taken over as gym leader. "hey i'm here to challenge you for a-" "MY GRANDFATHER wanted to turn this city into a shopping mall!!! he nearly succeeded, but that meddling champion may!!! I WILL BECOME CHAMPION MYSELF AND REALISE MY GRANDFATHER'S DREAMS!!!" "um cool i'm here for a battle" "fine whatever GO ELECTRIKE" "GO SKITTY USE DIRTLY DANCE" Skitty digs down into the dirt and flings it onto Electrike, defeating it instantly. "okay that is NOT cool" June plays a victory tune on her trumpet. "AND I AM SO SICK OF TRUMPETS" June gasps, and all of a sudden, the Hoenn police bust into the gym and carry Wattson's granddaughter off to jail. "THE DEATH PENALTY IS TOO GOOD FOR YOU"

CHAPTOUR THREE:
June enters Petalburg City, home of the normal-type gym headed up by the champion's father, Norman. "hey i'm here to challenge you for a-" "IT FUCKING SUCKS OKAY?! i have since disowned this "champion" as my offspring; NO SON OF MINE USES LAME NON-SLAKING POKéMON" "that is uh technically true because may is a girl" "AND THERE'S ANOTHER THING!!! from conception she decided to never follow in her father's footsteps!!!" "um okay can i have a battle" "do you use loser Pokémon" "uh is skitty a loser Pokémon" "it'll have to do; at least it's not one of those fruity 'elemental' types GO SLAKING" "GO SKITTY USE FISTLY FEINT" Skitty delivers a devastating blow to Slaking's spine, defeating it instantly. "take your fucking badge you fruit" June plays a victory tune on her trumpet.

CHAPTOUR FOUR:
June enters Mossdeep City, home of the region's spaceport, where a rocket sits, ready to launch. "okay everyone 3 2 1 blast off!!!" The science man flicks the lever, but nothing happens. "wha-" "PREPARE FOR TROUBLE" "AND MAKE IT DOUBLE" "to protect the world from devastation" "to unite all peoples within our nation" "to denounce the evils of truth and love" "to extend our reach to the stars above" "grunt" "other grunt" "team rocket blast off at the speed of light" "surrender now or prepare to fight" "meowth meowth meowth" "team rocket you're from kanto what the fuck are you doing here" "well obviously we're here to steal the rocket fuel" "clearly the reasons why our plans haven't been working is because we're running out of fuel!!!" "wha-" Before June or the scientists can react, the Team Rocket grunts have downed an entire barrel of rocket fuel. June and the scientists stare in disbelief. "that wasn't our best idea" "can you take us to the hospital"

CHAPTOUR FIVE:
After having defeated the eight gym leaders of Hoenn, June heads to Ever Grande City with her Skitty. She defeats the elite four quickly, and all that remains is the champion, May. "oh champion may i am such a big fan!!! can you autograph my skitty" "not right now; we've got a huge problem on our hands" "oh dear can i help" "yes i need you to go out and catch jirachi for me" "jirachi?! but no one's seen jirachi for like a thousand years" "yeah well i need it" "for what" "to make a wish obviously" "fine i'll be back" As June walks out of the room, May breathes a sigh of relief. "i was worried i'd actually have to do something for once, but the best part of being champion is that you can command younger trainers to do it for you"

CHAPTOUR SIX:
June returns to May, Jirachi in hand. "here you go may, it's jirachi" "oh boy now i can finally wish for the single thing i've wanted most for my entire life" May brings Jirachi out of its Pokéball and clears her throat. "i wish that my father loved me" Jirachi glows with a golden light, and all of a sudden, Norman storms into the room. "may i am so sorry for how i treated you; the doctor said i took one too many poison stings to the head and it destroyed my brain but now i'm back and i want to make up for lost time; what do you want may" "A SPOINKYBACK RIDE" Norman lifts May onto his shoulders and bounces out the large double doors to the fields outside. "uh i'll just wait here then"

CHAPTOUR SEVEN:
May returns, tuckered out from all the frollicking. "oh you're still here?" "uh yeah i wanted to battle" "OH okay yeah cool" "GO SKITTY" May puts on a pair of earmuffs. "GO WHISMUR SCREAM REALLY LOUDLY" Whismur begins to screech at a painful volume. "OKAY OKAY I GIVE UP" May recalls her Whismur and takes off her earmuffs. "well, good night"
THE END