Teh Forum RPG [Remake] [Revised] II

CHAPTOUR ONE:
"all right now it is time for us to jump out of this plane" "wait what" "because we're skydiving" "WHAT no you told me we were going to spanish class" "yeah, and we are going to get there via parachute" "wait no i don't-" Eif shoves Jakey out of the plane. "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK" "was he wearing his parachute" Eif shrugs. "okay okay let's see come on jakey remember your training" Jakey thinks back to his time at Piper's skydiving school, but can only remember staring at her ample bosom, all of her lessons sailing right over his head. "oh yeah that sure was a nice bosom; just the way i like them: ample" Jakey crashes to the ground with a sickening "splet". He lies there until he is scraped off of the ground with a spatula by A CHEEKY SMIBBLER
Jakey grabs the cheeky git by the head, and drives his knee into its face, sending it staggering back. Eif backflips over the cheeky git, and stabs it in the chest. Eif kicks the cheeky git off of his sword, sending it flying through the air, where Bran kicks it higher into the air, chucking his sword into its head. Bran rolls out of the way, allowing Jakey to backflip and land on the cheeky git, pulling out the sword in its head. Jakey takes both swords and slices the cheeky git in half. "blimey!!!" "simply chuffing my dear pip"

CHAPTOUR TWO:
"ugh where am i" "SHHH can't you see i am concentrating!!!" Bran stares down his opponents, his glare heavy as lead. "got any threes" "go fish" "damn" Bran unzips his jacket and discards it, then draws his card. "how much is the buy-in" "500$" Jakey slaps down his money and receives his hand. "got any sixes" "go fish" Jakey pulls off his shirt to reveal an identical shirt underneath. "get out" "what" Bran points at a sign, which specifically forbids the wear of redundant clothing items. "... oh" Jakey reaches in to grab his money, but Bran grabs his wrist with a grip like a vice, and points at the sign again, which states that any rulebreakers cannot receive refunds. "dammit" Jakey backs off and regroups, sneaking underneath the table. Once his hands pass below the table, however, an alarm goes off, and the automated defenses activate, releasing A CHEEKY SMIBBLER
Jakey grabs the cheeky git by the head, and drives his knee into its face, sending it staggering back. Eif backflips over the cheeky git, and stabs it in the chest. Eif kicks the cheeky git off of his sword, sending it flying through the air, where Bran kicks it higher into the air, chucking his sword into its head. Bran rolls out of the way, allowing Jakey to backflip and land on the cheeky git, pulling out the sword in its head. Jakey takes both swords and slices the cheeky git in half. "blimey!!!" "simply chuffing my dear pip"

CHAPTOUR THREE:
"guys look" Taylor points upward, where the bat signal is cast against the night sky. "oh no the bat signal" "agnew needs our help!!!" Everyone piles into the Branmobile and heads out for the baseball diamond. "agnew what is wrong" "someone's been attacking my baseball diamond and stealing my baseballs" "oh no" "without those baseballs he will have nothing to eat!!!" "what" "you know; he won't be able to hit them and impress people so they will pay him money to buy top ramen" "oh right" "do not worry agnew; we will make sure your baseballs are safe" "hey thanks; i was just going to complain to you about it but your idea is much better" While Agnew continues hitting baseballs, the party sets up camp on third base and tells scary stories. "and then he turned around and saw a man" "gasp not a man" Bran continues shoveling toasted marshmallows into his mouth, wide-eyed. "this man was no ordinary man however" "oh no" "this man had a disease which prevented him from not-slashing teens" "fuck fuck fuck" "the teen ran as fast as he could, but tripped on a log, falling face-first into the campfire" "NO FUCK" "the man then-" A band of baseball rustlers comes up. "WHAT HAPPENED NEXT" "then the man said 'you're under arrest' as the man was actually a police officer who was on medication which allowed him to not-slash teens, and falling face-first into a campfire was a felony in montana" "foiled by the legal system again" "well thanks for the story bye" "bye" The baseball rustlers steal some baseballs. "wait no don't do that" A bead of sweat drips down the face of the head baseball rustler. "well he did tell us a great story" "yeah" "tell you what; i will stop stealing baseballs and return all of the baseballs i stole before if you can defeat A CHEEKY SMIBBLER"
Jakey grabs the cheeky git by the head, and drives his knee into its face, sending it staggering back. Eif backflips over the cheeky git, and stabs it in the chest. Eif kicks the cheeky git off of his sword, sending it flying through the air, where Bran kicks it higher into the air, chucking his sword into its head. Bran rolls out of the way, allowing Jakey to backflip and land on the cheeky git, pulling out the sword in its head. Jakey takes both swords and slices the cheeky git in half. "blimey!!!" "simply chuffing my dear pip"

CHAPTOUR FOUR:
"all right everyone good work out there" "we should celebrate our victory over the baseball rustlers" "maybe by playing some sort of sport" "hmm" "hey how about we go bowling" "FUCK YEAH I LOVE BOWLING" Everyone but Agnew piles into the Branmobile and heads out for the bowling alley. "oh my god look" Taylor points, wide-eyed, at the bowling alley's mascot, Bowly the Bowling Pin. "hi bowly i'm your biggest fan" "hey thanks" "can i have your autograph" "sure thing bro" Bowly gets out a fresh autograph card and scribbles down an equally fresh John Hancock. "thank you so much bowly; hey one more question" "what is it friend" Taylor gets down on one knee and pulls out a small box. "will you marry me" "..." "..." "security" The bowling alley's security team rushes out to the floor, led by A CHEEKY SMIBBLER
Jakey grabs the cheeky git by the head, and drives his knee into its face, sending it staggering back. Eif backflips over the cheeky git, and stabs it in the chest. Eif kicks the cheeky git off of his sword, sending it flying through the air, where Bran kicks it higher into the air, chucking his sword into its head. Bran rolls out of the way, allowing Jakey to backflip and land on the cheeky git, pulling out the sword in its head. Jakey takes both swords and slices the cheeky git in half. "blimey!!!" "simply chuffing my dear pip"

CHAPTOUR FIVE:
Taylor gets flung into a dumpster. "taylor are you okay" "is there anything neat in there" "just this" Taylor holds out a Svart he'd found in the dumpster. "svart!!! our friend!!!" "hello friends let us go to my place and watch some pimp my ride on blu ray" "fuck yeah" The friends head to Svart's house and never fight again. Then Michelle's like "take me home"