Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] HERO III: Plasma Vice

"GUYS I HAD THE BEST IDEA" "doubt it" "GUYS SERIOUSLY" "jakey this had better be less shitty than your last idea" Eif glances towards Jakey's inflatable condoms, then towards his newborn daughter and sighs. "the idea is that we should form A BAND" "i like this idea" "no this is a shitty idea; in fact it is so shitty that i will go along with it just to laugh when you all realise how shitty it is" "okay" "sounds good" Jakey, Eif, Bran, Michelle, and Amiee :3 head down to Instrumentz Я Us and pool their money, coming up with 52 cents, a button, and a stick of Trident sugar-free chewing gum. "hey will you give us awesome instruments for 52 cents, a button, and a stick of trident sugar-free chewing gum" "oh fuck i love trident sugar-free chewing gum" The cashier, Taylor, pops the stick of Trident sugar-free chewing gum in his mouth, and hands them all instruments. "thank you come again" The manager, Svart, sees them on their way out. "hey where's my trident sugar-free chewing gum" A single tear streams down Svart's face. "i demand compensation" "what if we PLAY ROCK MUSIC" "that's a shitty idea; so shitty, in fact, that i'm going to let you do it to see how shitty it is"

01: If Only We'd Purchased More Trident Sugar-Free Chewing Gum - Instrumentz Я Us
"Plush" by Stone Temple Pilots, 1992 [Core]
"Just What I Needed" by The Cars, 1978 [The Cars]
"Lump" by The Presidents of the United States of America, 1995 [The Presidents of the United States of America]
"What You Got" by John Lennon, 1974 [Walls and Bridges]
"Mississippi Queen" by Mountain, 1970 [Climbing!]
"okay we did the thing you said" "did you notice how absolutely shitty your idea was" "yeah" "play one more song for added embarassment and we will call it even" "okay" "but jakey has to wear this" Svart hands Jakey a pink tutu. "fuck my life"
Encore: "Green River" by Creedence Clearwater Revival, 1969 [Green River]

"okay you've been embarassed enough; you can leave" "gee" The five leave the store, and Sheriff Antony runs at them, gun drawn. "what colour is that tutu" Jakey sweats, desperate to protect his masculinity in front of his idol, Sheriff Antony. "uh... salmon" "GET ON THE GROUND, NOW" "what why" "IT IS ILLEGAL TO WEAR SALMON TUTUS IN THIS COUNTRY" "what country are we in again" "alabama" "oh okay" Jakey is thrown in the back of the police van, which drives off. "god bless the alabamanian justice system" "hey i have a funny idea" "tell me it" "let's bust jakey out of prison" "i'd rather not" "what why" "the humour-to-effort ratio is way off" "oh right" Michelle thinks for a moment. "what if i wear a silly hat" "it would have to be PRETTY silly" "TO THE HAT STORE" The four head to Hatz Я Us. "hello may i help you" Taylor stands, still chewing his stick of Trident sugar-free chewing gum. "i would like to browse your collection of silly hats" "oh some rich guy bought the lot of them" Taylor points to a limousine leaving the parking lot. "FOLLOW THAT MOTORVEHICLE" The four run after the limousine, and Michelle grabs onto the bumper. The other three climb up Michelle and reach the top of the limousine, then Michelle climbs up. "how are we going to get inside" "that's easy" Sheriff Antony swings from a vine onto the limousine. "WE PLAY MUSIC" "sounds really shitty" "yeah not all problems can be solved by rock 'n' roll" "wanna bet" "fuck yes"

02: This Hat Had Better be PRETTY FUCKING SILLY - Max Schoonen's Limousine
"Fly Away" by Lenny Kravitz, 1998 [5]
"Suffragette City" by David Bowie, 1972 [The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars]
"Evil and a Heathen" by Franz Ferdinand, 2005 [You Could Have it so Much Better]
"Tombstone Blues" by Bob Dylan, 1965 [Highway 61 Revisited]
"Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is" by JET, 2006 [Shine On]
"it's not working" "i'm so sorry" "don't cry" "it's not your fault" The five engage in a tender embrace, as the limousine screeches to a stop, sending them flying. "ow my neck" "ow my liver" "ow my hair" "ow my testicles" "i'm so glad these giant testicles broke my fall" "LOOK AT ALL THESE FOOTPRINTS ON MY LIMOUSINE" "calm down Max Schoonen" "yeah Max Schoonen it isn't worth getting worked up about" "wanna bet" "fuck yes"
Encore: "Don't Look Back in Anger" by Oasis, 1995 [What's the Story, Morning Glory?]

"okay you've convinced me; have this ultra-silly hat as compensation" "sweet" "thanks" Max Schoonen drives away, and Michelle puts on her silly hat. "it's on" "what's on" "oh yeah sheriff antony we're totally going to break jakey out of prison" "who" "just this guy" "well good luck with that" Sheriff Antony puts his hands in his pockets and walks off, whistling badly. The four then head to the prison, and blow up the wall leading into Jakey's cell. "TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH" "sorry the store was out of silly hats" "oh i'm so sorry" "it's not your fault" "goddammit orange" "fucking orange" "when will he stop plaguing us" The five embrace eachother and sob for five minutes, then climb onto the roof, and decide to drop into the prison cafeteria. "what's for food" "inmates only" "fuck my life" "what if we play ROCK MUSIC" "that sounds like a shitty idea" "will you give us food if we embarass ourselves by playing rock music" "out of pity, sure" "OKAY"

03: What Does a GUY Have to do to Get Something to EAT Around Here - Alabama National Prison for High-Risk Inmates
"The View from the Afternoon" by Arctic Monkeys, 2006 [Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not]
"The Power of Love" by Huey Lewis and the News, 1985 [single]
"Only of You" by Green Day, 1989 [1,000 Hours]
"Peace Frog" by The Doors, 1970 [Morrison Hotel]
"Club Foot" by Kasabian, 2004 [Kasabian]
"okay have we embarassed ourselves enough yet" "yes have some food" The five grab their food, and start to eat, but immediately throw up. "THIS IS THE WORST SHIT I HAVE EVER TASTED" "thanks" Cale curtseys. "if you want good food you have to play a song that talks about regurgitating food into someone's mouth like a bird" "i don't know any songs like that" "I DO" Jakey jumps up on a table and rips off his inmate clothing to reveal a Nirvana shirt. "not nirvana!!!" "jakey no one likes nirvana but you" "fuck off eif" "no" "fuck"
Encore: "Drain You" by Nirvana, 1991 [Nevermind]

The five grab their meals and head outside. "this meal is very satisfying" "not as satisfying as pepsi cola" "oh man pepsi cola" "i fucking love pepsi cola" "pepsi cola is the best" "pepsi cola is refreshing as FUCK" "i know right" The five toss out their meals and head to the vending machine. "coca-cola?!" "man fuck coca-cola" "fuck it long and fuck it hard" "okay" Jakey proceeds to do that thing. "okay here we are pepsi cola for the low low price of one dollar(s)" "one dollar(s)?!" "that is a bargain" Eif inserts his dollar and presses the button for Pepsi Cola, but nothing happens. "GAH" Eif mashes the Pepsi Cola button, but nothing happens. "GUYS IT IS TIME FOR DRASTIC MEASURES" Eif takes a jackhammer out of his pocket and begins to jackham into the Pepsi Cola machine. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GUYS DOING" "the machine won't give us pepsi cola" "GASP" Sheriff Antony takes out his twin revolvers and begins shooting the Pepsi Cola machine. "DIE YOU MONSTER YOU DON'T BELONG IN THIS WORLD" The Pepsi Cola machine breaks in half, revealing six Mountain Dews. "well i guess this will have to do" "mountain dew is made by the pepsi cola corporation so it goes through the same rigourous tests as pepsi cola itself for taste and consistency" "sweet" The six drink their Mountain Dews. "man the pepsi cola corporation have outdone themselves this time" "i know right" "now down to business" Sheriff Antony handcuffs the Pepsi Cola vending machine and drags it inside. "guys we should give back to the pepsi cola corporation for all they've done for us" "yeah!" "let's play them some ROCK MUSIC" "OKAY" The five head down to The Pepsi Cola Corporation National Headquarters in Greenland, Alabama and do just that.

04: Giving Back to the People Who Matter - The Pepsi Cola Corporation National Headquarters
"The Bends" by Radiohead, 1995 [The Bends]
"Swlabr" by Cream, 1967 [Disraeli Gears]
"Jewel" by T.Rex, 1970 [T.Rex]
"Fillip" by Muse, 1999 [Showbiz]
"Life's Been Good" by Joe Walsh, 1978 [single]
"this was a great idea!!!" "i have them sometimes" "once does not mean sometimes" "i have them more than once check it out" Jakey pulls a lever, revealing a fountain of Pepsi Cola. The five step into the fountain of Pepsi Cola, drinking and having a great time. Bendik hits a button, revealing a Pepsi Cola waterslide.
Encore: "Helter Skelter" by The Beatles, 1968 [The White Album]

"how can i ever repay you guys for" "we only accept gel pens and cans of sprite" "oh good" Bendik runs to his office and opens his closet, revealing a giant stack of gel pens and cans of Sprite. Bendik hops on his forklift and lifts them into the van. "thanks" "no thank you" Bendik waves goodbye as the van drives off. "man that was great" "it was so nice to finally play for a good cause" "sure" "what should we do now" "give up music forever" "sounds good" The five do just that, and in a few hours burn through their supply of gel pens and cans of Sprite. "FUCK FUCK FUCK" "WHY DIDN'T WE USE A BANK" "WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE GOOD IDEAS ONCE THEY'RE IRRELEVANT" "it's a gift" "well there's only one thing to do at a time like this" Bran reaches his hand into his pants and rubs around a bit. "um" "BRAN THIS IS NO TIME FOR MASTURBATION" "i'm not masturbating!!! i'm checking my penis for genies!!!" "that is the stupidest thing i've eve-" A genie comes out of Bran's penis. "yo dawg y'all got three wishes and shit" "any wish?!" "word" "i wish we had an unlimited supply o-" "PEPSI COLA" The genie zaps in a refrigerator full of ice cold Pepsi Cola. Jakey takes one out of the refrigerator, and one materialises instantly in its place. "FUCK YES" "okay but now i wish for an infinite supply of-" "TOPICAL OINTMENT" The genie zaps in a medicine cabinet full of topical ointment. "what the fuck" "have you guys SEEN the price of topical ointment these days" "fair enough" "one more wish g-money" "i wish we had a-" "UNICORN" The genie zaps in a unicorn. Jakey hops on the unicorn and rides around the room. "FUCK YES" The genie retreats into Bran's penis. "fuck my life" "can we get more wishes if someone else rubs bran's penis" "WHAT" "good idea" Amiee :3 grabs the phone. "hey svart want to come over" "sure" Svart comes over, holding a copy of Sonic the Hedgehog 2006. "look at this awesome game i-" "SVART RUB BRAN'S PENIS" "wat" "FOR SCIENCE" "oh if it's for science" Svart rubs Bran's penis, causing the genie to come back out. "aw fuck no i ain't playin' to this gay shit i'm OUT" The genie leaves Bran's penis for good. "goddammit" "how will we get gel pens and cans of sprite now" "you could always play at a local music club" "um about that..." "i kind of threw our instruments in the dumpster" "they're gone forever" "why not go to the dump and retrieve them" "SVART YOU'RE A GENIUS" "thanks" The five run to the dump, and sift through trash until they find their instruments. "THAT WILL BE $500" "WAT" Brucie sits there with his arms folded, smiling. "what if we played you some MUSIC" "that's such a shitty idea it might just work"

05: Foresight?! What's That - The Dump
"You Got That Right" by Lynyrd Skynyrd, 1977 [Street Survivors]
"Dam That River" by Alice in Chains, 1992 [Dirt]
"At War with the World" by Foreigner, 1977 [Foreigner]
"Suck My Kiss" by Red Hot Chili Peppers, 1991 [Blood Sugar Sex Magik]
"Here is No Why" by Smashing Pumpkins, 1995 [Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness]
"didn't work" "what if we try one more song" "you'd have to have a genie for it to work" "hey i'll give y'all one more chance but no homo a'ight" "word" The genie hides his face in his hands.
Encore: "Magic Man" by Heart, 1976 [Dreamboat Annie]

"so what should we do now" "svart has that copy of sonic the hedgehog 2006" "sounds awesome" "i fucking love sonic the hedgehog" "and after the masterpiece that was sonic, the hedgehog heroes, sonic the hedgehog 2006 must be the best game" "i hope it brings back the alternate timeline thing from sonic the hedgehog compact disc" "that would be okay as fuck" The five rush back to their house and find Svart locked in a battle of wills with Silver the Hedgehog. "IT'S NO USE" "wow this fight looks hard" "it's the worst thing" "yo dawg y'all still got three wishes" "i wish sonic the hedgehog 2006 was a good game" "there are some things even magic can't do" The genie looks up towards the sky, a single tear streaming down his cheek. "we must CONFRONT sega" "YES" "i wish we were at sega headquarters in japan!!!" The genie warps the six to Japan. "hello" "sheriff antony what are you doing here" "i am a main character" "no you aren't fuck off" "no" "fuck" The seven head up to SEGA headquarters. "GUYS WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 2006" "we thought that having sonic romance a human would engross players more in the EXPERIENCE" "yeah more than that unlikable bitch amy rose" "WHAT TAKE THAT BACK" "i'd rather not" Amiee :3 charges at the SEGA guy, ramming him into the water cooler, getting everyone wet. "you're paying for that" "no" "fuck" "well bye" "can you at least play rock music" "FINE WHATEVER"

06: Gotta Go Fast - SEGA Japanese Headquarters
"I'm Easy" by David Lee Roth, 1986 [Eat 'em and Smile]
"Set You Free" by The Black Keys, 2003 [Thickfreakness]
"Fox on the Run" by The Sweet, 1975 [Desolation Boulevard]
"Art of Dying" by George Harrison, 1970 [All Things Must Pass]
"Spin it On" by Paul McCartney and Wings, 1979 [Back to the Egg]
"how about that" "i didn't enjoy any of that" "i haven't heard of any of those songs" "fuck off sega guy" "no" "fuck"
Encore: "Oh Well Part One" by Peter Green's Fleetwood Mac, 1969 [Then Play On]

The seven leave SEGA headquarters, frustrated. "fuck my life" "yo dawgs y'all got one wish left" "i wish for-" "YOUR FREEDOM GENIE" "..." "..." "wat" "have you never seen aladdin" "WELL BYE" The genie leaves forever. "but we're still poor and have to play music for a living" "..." "..." "fuck" "also we're stuck in japan" "FUCK" Just then, a stampede of cosplayers approaches. "FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK" "RUN" The five run down the street, trying to outrun the cosplayers. "i have an idea" "what is the idea" "let's assault them with normal person music so they get scared and leave" "can't be any worse than what's happening now"

07: Turning Japanese - The International Cosplayers Parade
"Life in the Fast Lane" by Eagles, 1976 [Hotel California]
"No Way Back" by Foo Fighters, 2005 [In Your Honour]
"Stray Cat Blues" by The Rolling Stones, 1968 [Beggars' Banquet]
"Stillness of the Night" by REO Speedwagon, 1982 [Good Trouble]
"I'm Not Angry" by Elvis Costello, 1977 [My Aim is True]
All of the cosplayers run away, except one. "ME ANGRY" "FUCK WE'RE JUST MAKING HIM ANGRIER" "DON'T WORRY I'VE GOT A TRUMP CARD"
Encore: "Money" by Pink Floyd, 1973 [Dark Side of the Moon]

"we're alive!!!" "old" The seven brush themselves off. "well bye guys" "i should be going too" Svart and Sheriff Antony hold hands and teleport back to Alabama. "fuck" "there goes our ride" "and the big yu-gi-oh tournament is tomorrow" "wait WHAT" "I AM NOT MISSING THE BIG YU-GI-OH TOURNAMENT" The five run to the docks and steal a yacht, and pilot it across the Pacific Ocean. "there is no way this could have any adverse side effects" The Alabama police come in a helicopter. "come on guys i leave you alone for five minutes and you steal a yacht" "well um" "you work fast nigga" "well we have to get to the yu-gi-oh tournament tomorrow" "WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST SAY SO" Sheriff Antony releases the ropes separating Japan and Alabama. "now all we need is a music performance" "fuck my life"

08: In a Rush Forever - The Stolen Yacht
"Free Ride" by The Edgar Winter Group, 1972 [They Only Come Out at Night]
"Blackout" by Scorpions, 1982 [Blackout]
"Bad Medicine" by Bon Jovi, 1988 [New Jersey]
"Better Living Through Chemistry" by Queens of the Stone Age, 2000 [R]
"Black Math" by The White Stripes, 2003 [Elephant]
"one more song should do" "why is it always six songs" "because reasons"
Encore: "Hitch a Ride" by Boston, 1976 [Boston]

"oh man my magical hats/geartown deck is going to rape everything" "you do realise that you can't use it to special summon ancient gear golem right" "WHAT" "read the card text on the golem!!!" "..." "..." "this changes everything" A single tear streams down Michelle's cheek. "for the worse" "not for me" Jakey slaps down a forty-card deck and a fifteen-card fusion deck. "i got everything i need right here" "well i'm going to work on my deck" "i'm going to bed forever" "good riddance" Michelle runs down to Cardz Я Us. "hey bro do you have any ancient gear gadjiltron dragons" "yes but the price is a music performance" "FUCK MY LIFE" Michelle runs back to the house, and bangs the emergency gong. "guys we need to do a music performance for cards i need to make my deck not-shitty" "i'd rather not" "it's four in the morning" "it's nine o'clock am" "same thing" "come onnn" "no" Eif rolls over. "well i guess i'll have to trade the infinite pepsi cola fridge" "WAIT I CHANGED MY MIND" "YEAH ME TOO" The five head back to Cardz Я Us. "so taylor um yeah let's do this" Taylor smiles, still chewing his stick of Trident sugar-free chewing gum, and pulls up a chair.

09: Rise of the Dragons - Cardz Я Us
"Nebakanezer" by The Black Crowes, 1996 [Three Snakes and One Charm]
"Spin the Black Circle" by Pearl Jam, 1994 [Vitalogy]
"House of Wolves" by My Chemical Romance, 2006 [The Black Parade]
"I am the Night, Colour Me Black" by Priestess, 2005 [Hello Master]
"My Sharona" by The Knack, 1979 [Get The Knack]
"are we done yet" "SIX SONGS FAGS" A single tear streams down Jakey's face. "why" Jakey pounds his fist into the wall. "why has my life become an endless spiral of torment and misery"
Encore: "I Want it All" by Queen, 1989 [The Miracle]

"well good night FOREVER" Jakey falls to the floor and sleeps. "R.I.P." Amiee :3 throws a blanket over Jakey and walks off. "where am i" "hell itself" Eif grimaces. "they have a great pizza shop" "does it serve pepsi cola" "no it serves coca-cola" "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" Jakey runs to the walls of Hell's Pizzaria and pounds on the walls. "YOU MONSTERS" Jakey falls to the floor, sobbing. "hello" "oh hello len how's life" "oh you know the usual" "who's len" "the president of hell of course" "i've been trying to get a pepsi cola machine but that fucking president of blue hell" Len puts his face in his hands and falls to the floor, sobbing. "life is so hard" "there there" "and i go up for re-election next week how am i going to win without a great victoly" "I HAVE AN IDEA" Jakey builds a ladder out of a rattlesnake, a beachball, a "don't mess with Texas" magnet, and a ladder, and climbs to Blue Hell. "hey mr. president can we have a pepsi cola machine" "i don't know" Blen scratches his chin. "maybe if you play some rock music" "FUCK MY LIFE"

10: Blending a Hand - Blue Hell
"Eat the Rich" by Aerosmith, 1993 [Get a Grip]
"Heart in a Cage" by The Strokes, 2006 [First Impressions of Earth]
"Here I Am" by Skid Row, 1989 [Skid Row]
"Too Fast for Love" by Motley Crue, 1981 [Too Fast for Love]
"Come Whatever May" by Stone Sour, 2006 [Come Whatever May]
"how's that" "close but i'm a progressive rock fan" "..." "..." "fuck"
Encore: "Lightning's Hand" by Kansas, 1977 [Point of Know Return]

"okay here you go" Blen gives Jakey a Pepsi Cola machine and sends him back to Hell. "OH YOU GOT IT THANK YOU" Len grabs the Pepsi Cola machine. "welp time for the parade" Jakey, Eif, Bran, Amiee :3, Michelle, and Len are whisked to a parade float, where they wave and get pelted with gel pens and cans of Sprite. "jakey wake up the tournament is starting" Jakey looks around, and sees handsome, muscular men getting out their decks and making sure they're ready for the Yu-Gi-Oh tournament. "OH SHIT WHERE'S M-oh there it is" Jakey takes his deck out of his pocket. "life is okay sometimes" "guys the people who do the official yu-gi-oh commencement ceremony music aren't here and now we've got to do that thing" "FUCK MY LIFE"

11: Never Getting a Break - The National Yu-Gi-Oh Tournament
"Runnin' Down a Dream" by Tom Petty, 1989 [Full Moon Fever]
"Sabbra Cadabra" by Black Sabbath, 1973 [Sabbath, Bloody Sabbath]
"Been Caught Stealing" by Jane's Addiction, 1990 [Ritual de lo Habitual]
"Beating Around the Bush" by AC/DC, 1979 [Highway to Hell]
"Stained Class" by Judas Priest, 1978 [Stained Class]
"and now the first card game; sheriff antony vs. jakey" "go jakey go" "jakey stop cheering for yourself" "no" "hey check me out" Sheriff Antony starts with the Obnoxious Celtic Guardian. "..." "..." "fuck" Jakey pulls some card acrobatics to get out Elemental HERO Thunder Giant (using Polymerisation to fuse Elemental HERO Sparkman with King of the Swamp), and uses its special ability, discarding Elemental HERO Necroshade to destroy Obnoxious Celtic Guardian. Jakey then uses E - Emergency Call to add Elemental HERO Bladedge to his hand, and normal summons Bladedge from his hand (due to Necroshade's effect), and removes Sparkman and Necroshade from play to special summon Black Luster Solider - Envoy of the Beginning. "isn't he banned" "not anymore motherfucker" "fuck" Jakey attacks Sheriff Antony directly with all three, winning instantly. "THAT'S GAME MOTHERFUCKER" "fuck my life" "hey good job now you should play more music" "fuck off judge man" "no" "fuck"
Encore: "Cities on Flame with Rock and Roll" by Blue Oyster Cult, 1972 [Blue Oyster Cult]

"congratulations jakey for a one-turn win you win THE PRIZE" "oh boy" "THE PRIZE is a slot at warped tour for your band" "..." "..." "why is my life so shitty" The five grab their instruments, and shuffle towards the stage. "nice going jakey" "why are you such a cunt" "but i didn't mean to!!!" "'oh i'll just use e - emergency call to grab bladedge and DOOM US TO THIS HORRIBLE FATE'" "i feel so horrible" "you should" "it's time" Jakey pulls out his katana, flipping it around, and stabbing it through his stomach. "hey what's up" "i just killed myself out of dishonour" "what did you do" "i got my band a slot at warped tour" "you fucking cunt your eternal punishment is to play warped tour" Jakey is warped back down to the Warped Tour. "oh hey" "hey" "my eternal punishment is to play warped tour" "sounds fair"

12: Eternal Damnation - Vans Warped Tour
"Cult of Personality" by Living Colour, 1988 [Vivid]
"I'm the One" by Van Halen, 1978 [Van Halen I]
"Nightrain" by Guns N' Roses, 1987 [Appetite for Destruction]
"Run for Cover" by Quiet Riot, 1983 [Metal Health]
"Black Betty" by Ram Jam, 1977 [Ram Jam]
"CAN WE GO NOW" "no six songs fags" "let's sing a song about how horrible our lives are" "sounds horrible" "i know right"
Encore: "Whipping Post" by The Allman Brothers Band, 1969 [The Allman Brothers Band]

"guys there is a mole in the band leaking our secrets to other bands" "i don't care" "neither do i" "well i do" "..." "..." Jakey unmasks Bran to reveal a cyborg. "well that was lame" "the real bran would never care about our band" "hey guys what's up" Bran comes back from the food court, holding a plate of nachons. "oh fuck i love nachons" "they're mine; fuck off" "NEVER" Eif charges at Bran, but Bran holds his arm out, stopping Eif's charge. "fuck my life" "let's go to the food court and get our own nachons" "sounds good" "yeah except they are out of nachons" "FUCK" "i am going to file a FORMAL COMPLAINT" "um me too" Amiee :3 and Eif charge off to file a complaint against Nachonz Я Us. "guys where the fuck are all the nachons" Taylor, still chewing his stick of Trident sugar-free chewing gum, holds out a handful of nachons. "we've got plenty" "..." "..." "BRAAAAAAAAAAAN" "i am going to file a FORMAL COMPLAINT after getting some nachons" "TWO PLATES OF NACHONS PLEASE" "that will be one set of music-playing" "..." "..." "the shit i put up with for nachons"

13: FUCKIN NANCHO PARTY - Nachonz Я Us
"You're Gonna Break My Heart Again" by Whitesnake, 1987 [1987]
"Crazy Train" by Ozzy Osbourne, 1987 [Tribute]
"The Rocker" by Thin Lizzy, 1978 [Live and Dangerous]
"Angel" by Marty Friedman, 1992 [Scenes]
"Peanuts" by The Police, 1978 [Outlandos d'Amour]
"CAN WE HAVE OUR NACHONS YET" "no the standard fee is SIX songs" "six?!" "this is unprecidented" "i concur, amiee :3" A single tear steams down Eif's face. "i concur"
Encore: "Roundabout" by Yes, 1971 [Fragile]

"guys i need a new vest" "but jakey you already have all of the vests that exist" "THAT IS NOT ENOUGH VESTS" Jakey drags Michelle to Vestz Я Us, and finds Taylor, still chewing his stick of Trident sugar-free chewing gum. "jakey you've cleaned us out" "no" Jakey clenches his left hand into a fist. "I HAVE DECIDED TO BRANCH OUT INTO SWEATER-VESTS" Michelle stands, mouth agape. She drops her sack of money with a dollar sign on it, causing it and its contents to shatter. A single tear streams down her face, as she realises how much these last thirteen tiers have changed her only brother. "okay" Taylor grabs all of the sweater-vests, and hands them to Jakey. "so what do i owe you" "a tier of musics" "fuck"

14: VESTS - Vestz Я Us
"Master of Puppets" by Metallica, 1986 [Master of Puppets]
"Rusty Cage" by Soundgarden, 1991 [Badmotorfinger]
"Comin' Atcha Live" by Tesla, 1986 [Mechanical Resonance]
"High-Speed Dirt" by Megadeth, 1992 [Countdown to Extinction]
"Why Does Love Got to be so Sad?" by Derek and the Dominoes, 1970 [Layla and Other Assorted Love Songs]
"so um yeah bye" "HOLD IT" Taylor activates the store alarm, which produces an oversized boxing glove, which knocks out Jakey. "well um" "how will we play another song without jakey" "hello" Sheriff Antony stands in front of everyone, completely naked except for his trademark hat. "sigh"
Encore: "Voodoo Child" by The Jimi Hendrix Experience, 1968 [Electric Ladyland]

"so yeah i'm ready to leave" A mysterious ringing noise emenates from Jakey's pocket. "WHY" Jakey drops to the floor, defeated. "WHY DOES THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN SO YOUNG IN MY LIFE" Jakey pounds the floor, a cluster of single tears streaming down his cheek. Jakey knows that he cannot defeat pocket cancer. Michelle grabs the phone out of Jakey's pocket and answers the fuck out of it. "hello jakey's phone; michelle speaking" "guys i need help URGENTLY" Svart hangs up. "what a rude motherfucker" "who was it" "svart needs help or something" "oh" "fuck that" "would you rather play music here" "..." "..." "sigh" The five trudge off towards Svart's house. "HEY GUYS YOU'RE JUST IN TIME TO LIFT THE COUCH" "..." "..." "it's either that or play music for me while i move the couch" The five move Svart's oversized couch. "thanks" "fuck off svart" "no" "fuck" "it's okay i bought pizza" "oh boy" Taylor scoots up in the Pizzaz Я Us scooter, still chewing his stick of Trident sugar-free chewing gum. "that will be one set of musics" "what" "oh can you guys get that i left all my musics in my wallet which is in the front of the moving truck" "FUCK MY LIFE"

15: The Pizza's Getting Cold or Something - Svart's House
"Burn" by Deep Purple, 1974 [Burn]
"From Here to Eternity" by Iron Maiden, 1993 [Fear of the Dark]
"Attitude Boy Will Overcome" by Paul Gilbert, 2000 [Alligator Farm]
"Domination" by Pantera, 1990 [Cowboys from Hell]
"Heartbreaker/Living Loving Maid" by Led Zeppelin, 1969 [Led Zeppelin II]
"can we have that pizza now" "HA" "sigh"
Final encore: "Don't Talk to Strangers" by Dio, 1983 [Holy Diver]

Taylor leaves, still chewing his stick of Trident sugar-free chewing gum. "oh boy let's eat" Jakey eagerly opens the pizza box, to find it covered in anchovies. "..." "..." "help yourselves" Svart grabs a slice and starts eating. "hey guys i know how to solve all of our problems ever" "so do i" The five smash all of their instruments over Svart's head. "guys wait" Sheriff Antony hops out of the Sheriff Antony-mobile. "your form is all off" Sheriff Antony smashes a drumkit over Svart's head. "have fun drumming up other guys to do that thing you wanted us to do" "jakey that was the worst pun ever" "it was barely even a pun" "what is a pun"
THE END