GAME OF THE YEAR 2011

don't complain about spoilers!!! i tried my best to avoid them but couldn't at parts!!!

lil' awards!!!
best game i didn't play but still have in the shrink wrap!!!: gears of war 3!!!
best game that was supposed to be announced this year but wasn't!!!: rock band not-4!!!
series that needs to take a break for a few years!!!: assassin's creed!!!
biggest game!!!: skyrim!!!
game i sunk over a hundred hours into in a month!!!: skyrim!!!
biggest disappointment!!!: pokémon white (and black i'm sure)!!!
biggest not-disappointment!!!: saints row the third!!!
best licensed soundtrack!!!: saints row the third!!!
best original soundtrack!!!: skyrim!!!
best arcade game!!!: the baconing!!!
funniest game!!!: saints row the third!!!
most badass game!!!: saints row the third!!!
most improved sequel!!!: skyrim!!!
best not-sequel!!!: l.a. noire!!!
best (and most) downloadable content!!!: rock band 3 (specifically nirvana pack 04)!!!
best downloadable content for a game that doesn't win every year!!!: l.a. noire!!!
most unique game!!!: l.a. noire!!!
best choices that actually effect things!!!: l.a. noire!!!
most steam lost!!!: l.a. noire!!!
best storytelling!!!: dragon age ii!!!
worst storytelling!!!: l.a. noire!!!
best ending!!!: assassin's creed revelations!!!
worst ending!!!: l.a. noire!!!
best story!!!: spider-man edge of time!!!
worst story!!!: l.a. noire!!!
best plot twist!!!: spider-man edge of time!!!
most unoriginal gameplay elements thrown into a blender so that an amazing original game comes out!!!: deus ex human revolution!!!
developer of the year!!!: harmonix (even though they didn't release any games [dance central doesn't count])!!!
developer of the year that doesn't win every year!!!: team bondi (r.i.p.)!!!
best voice acting (game)!!!: saints row the third!!!
best voice acting (character)!!!: female hawke (dragon age ii)!!!
best serious dialogue!!!: adventuring (dragon age ii)!!!
best original character!!!: zimos (saints row the third)!!!
best returning character!!!: british main character (saints row the third)!!!
worst original character!!!: aveline (dragon age ii)!!!
worst returning character!!!: that bitch in origins who i killed but she miraculously came back in time for the sequel (dragon age ii)!!!
most ruined character!!!: TIE: anders (dragon age ii)!!! shaundi (saints row the third)!!!
best returning boss!!!: through the fire and the flames (rock band 3)!!!
best boss fight!!!: the last two intertwined bossfights (spider-man: edge of time)!!!
most dramatic not-death!!!: female hawke (dragon age ii)!!!
least dramatic death!!!: johnny gat (saints row the third)!!!
most retarded death!!!: orsino (dragon age ii)!!!
worst dramatic dialogue!!!: anders (dragon age ii)!!!

remember!!!
i have removed all hope of compromise because there is no compromise!!!

In great games (and sequels), the flaws are more pronounced. You'd notice a single tear in an immaculate blanket, but couldn't pick just one out in a raggedy old shirt. Technically speaking, the better the game, the worse the flaws, because they just seem so out of place.

11: The Lord of the Rings: War in the North -- 7.2/10
DRAGON AGE II IN SPACE MIDDLE EARTH
+ The gameplay is very servicable
+ Different pieces of armour and weapons have different models on-character, which I guess is good
- Everyone sounds extremely bored
- Shamelessly rips off Dragon Age II
- Starts off as another "FOLLOW THE FELLOWSHIP" game

10: Pokémon White -- 7.5/10
Ugh. Officially the worst main-series Pokémon game. The environments are nice, but it concentrates more on "LOOK AT OUR GRAPHICS" than creating a fun play area.
+ Both protagonists are well-designed
+ SMUGLEAF
+ WEEABOO MAN
- Most other Pokémon are dreadful
- Grinding to beat the Elite Four the "second" time is diculous
- Story is retarded
- Rivals are unlikable and very hatable for the exact wrong reasons
- Half of the fucking region is retardedly overleveled
- BRIDGES

09: Stacking -- 9.4/10
After Costume Quest, Double Fine (also known as 'those guys who did Psychonauts') decided to make this. It's very I AM SO-GAY and puzzleriffic.
+ Silent movie cutscenes are cool
+ Puzzles aren't retarded
+ EXTREMELY I AM SO-GAY
+ The Lost Hobo King adds an entirely new chapter for $10
+ Pretty funny
- Can't be any closer to game of the year due to being an arcade game
- No one here cares

08: The Baconing -- 9.6/10
The third DeathSpank title is the funniest and funnest in the series. It continues the story in a not-shit way and adds all kinds of cool shit. However, nobody seems to care.
+ Memorable characters return
+ Super-funny
+ GREEN RED YELLOW BLUE
+ All of the areas are VERY different and prevent tedium
+ You become a fucking GOD
- Male orphans (do those even exist)
- Can't be any closer to game of the year due to being an arcade game
- I HAVE NO ONE TO DISCUSS IT WITH

07: Spider-Man: Edge of Time -- 9.1/10
Made by the team that made last year's Shattered Dimensions, Edge of Time halves the Spider-Man roster from four to two. Spider-Man 2099 gets the Spider-Man Noir voice actor from Dimensions, and The Amazing Spider-Man gets the Ultimate Spider-Man voice actor from Dimensions, even though both Spider-Men were in Shattered Dimensions. For reference, 2099's new voice was the voice of '90s cartoon Spider-Man, and Amazing's new voice was... well... Spider-Man in the '08 cartoon, Jak in The Lost Frontier and YOUNG HERCULES.
The main draw here is the Spider-Men's ability to communicate across time and help eachother out from their respective time periods. Other than that, it's just like Shattered Dimensions, though I'd say Shattered Dimensions was better, if just for having Deadpool.
+ Brilliant voice acting
+ Intro sequence is really well-done
+ Plot is very good, if a bit repetetive with the quantums and whatnot
+ Well-done plot twist
+ One of the best final boss fights in ages
+ Both Spider-Men handle similarly, but different enough to not be pointless
+ A good number of alternate outfits for the Spider-Men
+ Peter Parker makes jokes about actual Spider-Man things
+ James Arnold Taylor is in it! Somewhere! I think he'd make a great Spider-Men if he tried
- 2099's freefalling segments are horrible, even though they were amazing in Shattered Dimensions
- Getting into airvents is retardedly annoying
- Too much B-button mashing
- Some cutscenes unskippable and play right after checkpoints
- Black Cat is also retardedly annoying (three boss fights in a row, no breaks, three healing items; SUPER-FAIR), not to mention her voice
- Why switch the voice actors? Neil Patrick Harris and... whatshisface did very well in Shattered Dimensions
- What the fuck is with the scientist guy's teeth?

06: Deus Ex: Human Revolution -- 9.3/10
I haven't played the original Deus Ex or The Invisible War, BUT I WATCHED SOMEONE PLAY THE ORIGINAL SO THERE
Human Revolution is I AM SO-GAY compared to everything that gets released nowadays. Set in the future, it's a stealth/shooter/RPG. You can play it as any combination of the three. It starts off heavily gear towards stealth, but as you upgrade your body(!) and weapons, you can play it as a cover-based shooter if you so choose. But you'd be missing the point.
+ Memorable characters
+ Adam is a likable and actually sort of relatable protagonist
+ Decisions that may come back to bite you in the ass later on
+ Augmentations provide a fun way to completely change playing styles across different playthroughs
+ Ending choices at least make you think
+ Endings are presented super-well, and don't shove your choices down your fucking throat
+ Malik and some guy in The Missing Link have extra dialogue if you try to use the CASIE augmentation on them
+ The Missing Link adds a lot to the game and is worth the $15
+ YOU CAN SAVE HER BRO
- SHE IS INCREDIBLY HARD TO SAVE BRO
- Boss fights are fucking rubbish
- All doors are double-hinged for some reason (FUTURE FUUUUUUUTUUUUUUUURE)
- Sniper rifle is completely useless
- Toggle augmentations add a big THING to the HUD that you can't toggle on/off
- Third-person cover seems a bit overpowered
- Plot is kind of disjointed at times

05: Dragon Age II -- 9.3/10
Origins was a pretty okay game. It had some memorable characters, but was bogged down by two unskippable areas that were completely and utterly awful. Dragon Age II decides to get rid of the continent-sized map and base your entire game in a city, which is actually a great idea. "SAVE THE WORLD" is overdone; let's just try to keep our little corner of the world from imploding.
The game features four time-skips, which skip year(s) at a time. This makes for a better, more realistic progression of events. While every other game says "ALL OF THE SHIT HAS HIT ALL OF THE FANS AT ONCE", Dragon Age II says "a little shit has hit a fan over here in a few years more shit will hit more fans".
+ Memorable characters who interact with eachother and have personalities
+ Female Hawke's voice actress is one of the best ever; male Hawke's is okay, too
+ Combat is faster and better than Origins'
+ The Exiled Prince adds A LOT to the game for $7 or whatever it was
+ Legacy adds a bit of backstory, FUN and some cool shit for $10
+ Mark of the Assassin is one of the funniest things this year, and is a steal at $10
- Aveline is fucking UNLIKABLE
- Copy/pasted environments, though I didn't notice them so much the first playthrough
- SPIDERS
- Story is kind of very retarded
- Most deaths are retarded
- Your choices affect NOTHING
- Origins import affects NEXT TO NOTHING (still more than Mass Effect did to Mass Effect 2)

04: Assassin's Creed: Revelations -- 9.6/10
Taking place right after Brotherhood Desmond-wise, and years after Ezio-wise, Revelations is hopefully the final game before Assassin's Creed III. Featuring shitloads of minor improvements over Brotherhood, but virtually no major improvements, Revelations will not sway anyone who didn't like the last three.
+ Really interesting bits with Subject 16
+ Fun, optional puzzle sections that reveal more of Desmond's backstory; completing all five nets you the DESMOND SKIN for normal gameplay (it's his brotherhood model)
+ Improvements all around
+ Middle Eastern architecture is a welcome break from Venetian
+ Recruiting assassins is still fun, and sending them on missions is the same
+ Tower defense-style... tower defense is super-fun
+ A few changes to make climbing and such simpler and more fun; works super-well for the challenges
+ A fucking map for the memoir pages
+ The name "Duccio" always gets me
+ In one mission, Ezio disguises himself as a bard and has a SHITLOAD of songs to sing (about the last two games, what he's doing now, and his last song is about how the player is wasting so much time), even though if you just do the mission, you'll only hear seven
+ Altair has A GUN, and he doesn't wield the Apple like a retard
+ Powerful, single tear-worthy ending for Ezio's story that DOESN'T involve Ezio dying; plus a revelation for Desmond (SEE WHAT I DID)
+ Is pretty much the same as Brotherhood
- Is pretty much the same as Brotherhood
- "Use parachute" and "assassinate" are on the same button (brilliance in action)
- ALL TREASURE CHESTS ARE FILLED WITH BOMB INGREDIENTS (i can't even sell them!!!)
- First thieves mission is broken and uncompletable (thank god it's optional)
- Two carriage segments are awful at best
- Load times for the pause menu
- Altair's new voice is horrid at best
- Glitch renders "Sage" achievement unattainable?

03: L.A. Noire -- 9.7/10
This game reminded me a lot of Mafia II in that it takes place in a similar time period, stars a veteran of World War II, and the action sequences are UNFORGIVING. I died a lot, but I refused to use the "SKIP ACTION SEQUENCE" option, as that's just cheap.
The cases are the main draw, and are very well-executed.
+ Most characters (read: not women) are incredibly well-animated with realistic factial animations
+ Cole and his partners are likable, except the one, who you're supposed to hate
+ The first half of the game is utterly brilliant
+ The game progresses based on what you do and don't find or get someone to admit
+ You CAN and likely WILL put the wrong person in jail at least once
+ Part of game that made me really frustrated was helped by a Richard Nixon joke
+ Four different type of cases; traffic, homicide, narcotics, arson
+ Achievements for beating a hard negociator, completing an action sequence in an unlikely way or finding a well-hidden piece of evidence
+ The add-on cases fit in the story nicely, bar one
- The entire last chapter of the game is a clusterfuck, and the extra case they tack on in the middle is a welcome respite, which is bad since it's right in the middle of what's supposed to be the fucking climax
- The ending is a letdown in every sense of the word
- The German bitch is fucking unlikable and becomes the focus of the last quarter
- Can't hit women (it's the fucking 1940s!!!)
- It's really hard to tell people apart during the army flashbacks
- The "newspaper backstory" parts tell you things Cole isn't supposed to know, which is horrible for a DETECTIVE GAME
- Suspects (especially women) can plunge into the uncanny valley
- Driving physics are really weird
- Sometimes the "right" evidence to confront someone is far from the first thing you'd go for
- WHY ARE THERE SO MANY HAIRBRUSHES IN THIS GAME
- Star ratings for cases encourage using a guide so you can get the achievement
- Unskippable credits
- I'd like more outfits in the game, but that's kind of nitpicking
- This game may have been my game of the year if it hadn't gone full retard on me in the last half

02: The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim -- 9.8/10
So, five years have passed since Oblivion, and time has not been very nice to Oblivion. Bethesda games do not seem to age well.
Skyrim is basically Oblivion on steroids. The got rid of superfluous shit, made the graphics not shit, hired more than one voice actor, made the combat heavier and made the dungeons not copy/paste shit. Basically, it's Oblivion, but better, and we all know how much I loved Oblivion.
+ Voice actors don't all sound the same and are actually good mostly
+ Dialogue was recorded for nearly every circumstance; the box can well and truly be thought outside of (most notably in with friends like these)
+ The return of Adoring Fan, Lucien Lachance and the main character of Oblivion
+ References abound to past games
+ Combat has weight
+ Spells aren't all exactly the fucking same
+ Smithing adds easy money and grinding
+ Enchanting at 100 skill is super-beneficial
+ Levelling up is something that actually happens
+ The people don't look like ungodly abominations very often
+ Getting married gives you FREE MONEY
+ You can play TAG
+ Oghma Infinium glitch lets you get to level 81 in no time at all (handy since you'd never get there otherwise)
- Max level is 81 (which, admittedly, lets you get 80 perks)
- Going underwater adds some kind of retarded fog like every game ever
- SPIDERS
- Every dungeon uses the fucking claw/door thing and the fucking SNAKE GRIFFON DOLPHIN
- Dragons often fly around just out of reach then fly off and you never see them again
- The Jarl of Whiterun won't let you advance Imperial or Stormcloak storylines until you kill your first dragon, which is bullshit for many reasons
- Dwemer ruins
- It is fucking IMPOSSIBLE to climb mountains
- STOP HAVING RUN-INS WITH THE THIEVES GUILD EVERY TIME I ENTER RIFTEN
- GRIDS
- UNKILLABLE CHILDREN
- STOP KILLING ALL MY DARK BROTHERHOOD BROS
- MARKARTH
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01: Saints Row the Third -- 11/10
Before the game came out, I said it would have to be GAME OF THE YEAR ALL YEARS, or I will have no choice but to be super-disappointed. Well, it is GAME OF THE YEAR ALL YEARS.
Remember how the best mission of GTAIV was a bank robbery, towards the end? How most of your good memories are placed there? Saints Row the Third starts with a bank robbery. You hang from the safe as it's towed by your helicopter guy and shoot the SWAT team. It doesn't stop there; the second mission has you leaping out of an airplane and shooting guys as they try to shoot you, all while trying to save Shaundi. Then you, having only one gun, decide to rob the fucking army depot. This game doesn't fuck around and throw you into some "tutorial"; it fucking throws you into the fun head-fucking-first.
Even the most forgettable mission in this game would be the most memorable mission of any Grand Theft Auto game (bar San Andreas, obviously). Not even fucking exaggerating.
+ AMAZING voice acting with SIX different playable character voices, one of which is BRITISH
+ Pierce and main character sing along to What I Got in the most VIDEOGAMES moment of the century
+ The friendly characters are all retardedly likable (except Shaundi), while the "bad guys" are all retardedly unlikable
+ The soundtrack has something for fucking everyone
+ Driving is fast and fun; even the "OPEN THE CAR DOOR" has been streamlined
+ Weapons can be upgraded to be raping machines
+ PROFESSOR GENKI'S SUPER-ETHICAL REALITY CLIMAX
+ Two endings with completely different tones
+ The ability to get both endings in one playthough without loading an old save, and get both sets of bonuses on one save
- One ending is a definite "bad ending" and isn't satisfying at all
- They changed Shaundi from a likable character to a bitch on her period an average woman
- Some amazing characters silently dropped from the previous two games
- I had no idea Johnny was dead until everyone was all like "FOR JOHNNY BRO HE'S

That was a super fun read Wonderful points all around and whatnot

my GAMES from best to least best (meaning I played no bad games this year)

Saints Row The Third
Skyrim
Dragon Age 2
Deus Ex: Human Revolution
Dead Space 2

best music: Skyrim
best voice acting: Dragon Age 2
best use of tired formulas: Saints Row The Third
funniest game (intentional): Saints Row The Third
funniest game (unintentional): Dragon Age 2
best glitch: sabre cat returning to its planet (Skyrim)
worst developer: BiowEAre
best developer: Bethesda
best DLC: mark of the assassin (Dragon Age 2)
best character: Zimos (Saints Row The Third)
worst character: Aveline (Dragon Age 2)
funniest moment: what Anders does at the end of Dragon Age 2 (Dragon Age 2)
best undead: Johnny (Saints Row The Third)
best enemy: FURRIES (Saints Row The Third)
worst enemy: DRAUGR DRAUGR DRAUGR DRAUGR (Skyrim)
most shameless rehashing: every fucking dungeon in Skyrim (Skyrim)
biggest "gee" moment: "HEY BRO YOU'RE ARCHMAGE NOW" (Skyrim)

It's been over six months since 2011, and videogames.
Here's a new thing: am I likely to replay 2011's games?

Lord of the Rings: War in the North - I haven't even finished it. It's super-repetitive.
Pokémon White - Fuck, no.
Stacking - I've been meaning to for a while, actually.
The Baconing - Maybe.
Spider-Man: Edge of Time - Not any time soon.
Deus Ex: Human Revolution - I really want to mop up some achievements, but I'm not sure on this.
Dragon Age II - I've already beaten it thrice. I don't think so.
Assassin's Creed: Revelations - If they keep putting them out yearly? Nope. Basically, I can only digest one Assassin's Creed game a year.
L.A. Noire - Not a game you can ever replay. I might mop up those last two achievements.
The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim - I can't replay Bethesda games. I can usually get one playthrough and about ten attempted replays.
Saints Row the Third - I'd like to say yes, but I've been trying to replay it off and on, and it hasn't been working too well. Maybe it's too soon.

2011 games I got in 2012:
Sonic Generations - The levels are so fun and replayable. I'd really like to do the thirty-second online mode thing as a competition with YOU FRIENDS.
Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception - The setpieces were fantastic. The boat, the plane, and the convoy were awesome. And since you can replay from wherever you want, totally.

Saints Row the Third? Might not be as great as I remembered. I loved the game as it was happening, but now? I think I'm kind of overrating it. Well see if I'm able to replay it ever.