Teh Forum RPG [Remake] IV: Heaven Campaign

CHAPTOUR ONE:
"ugh where am i" "why you're in heaven of course" A choir of angels strum their harps in unison as the clouds obscuring the Pearly Gates disperse. The heavenly glow from the gates themselves forces Bran and Svart to cover their eyes. Michelle is unfazed. "where are the other uh" Bran counts off his acquaintences on his fingers. "six of us" "HELL" "WHAT" "fucking hell" "yes" "don't concern yourselves with the affairs of those sinners; come, we have the finest entertainment by the finest in all of christian rock; stryper" "why have you forsaken me lord" Bran, Michelle, and Svart are escorted to the Stryper show by a gaggle of HARLEQUIN FOETUS ANGELS
Jakey grabs the harlequin foetus clone by the head, and drives his knee into its face, sending it staggering back. Eif backflips over the harlequin foetus clone, and stabs it in the chest. Eif kicks the harlequin foetus clone off of his sword, sending it flying through the air, where Bran kicks it higher into the air, chucking his sword into its head. Bran rolls out of the way, allowing Jakey to backflip and land on the harlequin foetus clone, pulling out the sword in its head. Jakey takes both swords and slices the harlequin foetus clone in half. "welp" "shouldn't we get some powers now" "we already got those" "but-" "fuck off" "hey look he was created by some guy called 'svart'" "could that be the same svart who burnt down the village?!" "..." "..." "THAT IS A STUPID IDEA AND YOU ARE STUPID FOR HAVING IT"

CHAPTOUR TWO:
"guys we have to get out of here" "i agree christian rock is really bad for my skin" "i am literally burning to death from the inside out from the holiness of this rock performance" "guys the door is locked i can't open it" "oh no no no no" "why have you forsaken me jesus" "i haven't forsaken SHIT i'm trapped here too" "wat" "heaven has been taken over by this satanic musical group" "oh DEAR" "i'm going to go see the manager" Bran stomps up to the sound guy's booth, followed closely by Svart, Michelle, and Jesus. "guys he's dead" "oh no not the manager" Bran grabs the volume knob, but his hand crumbles to ash. "OW FUCK" "d-dude hold up" Jesus heals Bran, making his hand grow back. "thanks jesus" "no problem" "so uh-" "check it" Michelle pulls a handkerchief out of her pocket and grabs the volume knob with the handkerchief between her hand and the knob, then she twists it to zero, cutting off the music. "we did it!!!" "uh-oh security isn't too happy with us" Just as Jesus said, the four are confronted by A HARLEQUIN FOETUS ANGEL
Jakey grabs the harlequin foetus clone by the head, and drives his knee into its face, sending it staggering back. Eif backflips over the harlequin foetus clone, and stabs it in the chest. Eif kicks the harlequin foetus clone off of his sword, sending it flying through the air, where Bran kicks it higher into the air, chucking his sword into its head. Bran rolls out of the way, allowing Jakey to backflip and land on the harlequin foetus clone, pulling out the sword in its head. Jakey takes both swords and slices the harlequin foetus clone in half. "welp" "shouldn't we get some powers now" "we already got those" "but-" "fuck off" "hey look he was created by some guy called 'svart'" "could that be the same svart who burnt down the village?!" "..." "..." "THAT IS A STUPID IDEA AND YOU ARE STUPID FOR HAVING IT"

CHAPTOUR THREE:
"STRYPER" "TELL US HOW TO GET HOME" "you're stuck here" Michael Sweet tosses his microphone into the air repeatedly. "we are in control" Oz Fox plays a powerchord, knocking Jesus into the back wall. "but-" "DID YOU THINK TURNING THE VOLUME OFF WOULD STOP US" "kind of, yeah" "well uh it didn't okay" "not okay" "yeah i wanted you to be stopped" "too bad so sad" Robert Sweet pounds out a drum beat, causing Bran, Michelle, and Svart to fall over. "so uh what's the plan, bran" "why do i always have to come up with the plans" "well jesus is out cold and svart's never been a main character before sooooooooooooo" "what about you" "what ABOUT me" "sigh" Bran smacks the sides of his head with his palms. "what we need is to fight christian rock with METAL" "where are we going to get heavy metal on such short notice" Eif, Tony, Sheriff Antony, and all of Black Sabbath fall from the sky into the arena. "ROCK AND ROLLLLLLLLLLLL" Black Sabbath play their hardest metal, and Stryper fall to the ground, defeated. "shit" Michael Sweet collapses, opening a portal back to earth. "all right let's go" "eh we're going to stay here and rock with jesus" "fair enough" Everyone waves goodbye as Eif, Tony, Sheriff Antony, Michelle, Bran, and Svart head back to earth where they belong.
TO BE CONTINUED