The Next Big Thing (2015)

Mission 125: The Wind Began to Howl [One Phone Call]
"you get one phone call" "king bran i know we've had our differences but you've got to help me; the americans have imprisoned me fo-" "YOU'RE IN PRISON?! IN AMERICA?!" "y-yes" "I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS HAS HAPPENED IN THE LAST FEW HOURS WHILE I'VE BEEN PLAYING TETRIS" King Bran looks at the clock on his phone. "..." "..." "so uh scratch the 'hours' comment; i've been playing tetris nonstop for the past four months" "wait how is that even-" "AHAHAHAHAHA" King Bran enters the prison and glares at Jakey through the bars. "oh no don't tell me-" "YES, IT WAS ALL..." King Bran removes his disguise. "A TRICK" "THE PRINCE OF WALES" "yes and now you are inside this prison... forever" "NOT IF I HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT IT" King Bran storms through the front door of the prison. "KING BRAN" "since jakey commited this crime in alabama, it happened under MY jurisdiction and it is MY duty to punish him and i PARDON HIM FULLY; RELEASE MY FRIEND IMMEDIATELY" "you see, that might work if we were actually in america" The walls of the prison fall away. "but we are in MY DOMAIN NOW" Flocks and flocks of sheep roam by the scene. "oh god we're not-" "WE ARE" The Prince of Wales laughs. "WE'RE IN WALES" "oh god no" "THERE IS NO ESCAPE FROM MY REALM" "he's right king bran; wales is inescapable by mortal man" "hmm looks like you've got a real MYSTERY on your hands haven't you" "MYSTERY?!" Erin falls from the sky onto Jakey. "WHERE IS THE MYSTERY" "there is none; I TRICKED YOU INTO THINKING THERE WAS A MYSTERY" "WHAT" Erin tackles The Prince of Wales. "YOUR FACE WILL BE A MYSTERY WHEN I AM DONE WITH IT" "or it would if this were actually my body" The Prince of Wales fades away and reappears behind King Bran. "LOOK OUT" King Bran turns to see The Prince of Wales looming over him with a gigantic lead pipe. "goodbye, your majesty" The Prince of Wales begins his downswing, but it is cut short by a gunshot. "SHERIFF ANTONY" "they say no mortal man can escape wales" Sheriff Antony smirks. "but i am no mortal" "did you really think i didn't know you'd call the sheriff? of all the obvious things you could have-" The Prince of Wales' sentence is cut short by two bite marks in his neck. "eugh ab negative; two great tastes that do NOT taste great together" "g-gwendolyn?" "king bran wanted as many non-mortal beings as he could get; that ghost lady is here too" "hi" "hello" "so is the prince of wales dead now" "the opposite in fact; i made him a vampire" "... WHY" "listen it took a lot of energy to get here and i was REALLY thirsty" "fair enough" "this just makes him easier to kill right? all we need is a stake or holy water so" "silver bullets work on vampires right" "THAT'S WEREWOLVES" "goddammit" "relax everyone i got this" Father Brucie grabs a wooden cross from his back pocket. "why'd you bring him" "i thought if this all went south we could use someone to put in a good word with jesus for us" "oh good thinking" Father Brucie plunges the cross into The Prince of Wales' flesh. The Prince of Wales burns to death in a white hot light. "i'm glad that's over" "NO IT'S NOT; THAT WAS A TRICK AND I WILL BE BACK ONE DAY or will i? that might be a trick as well" "let's just get out of here before he comes back" "i've had more than enough excitement for one day" "are you sure? we brought a lot of other people with us" Jakey turns to The Motherfucker to see it has turned into a clown car, and has all of Jakey's friends inside of it. "yeah i don't want to see how all these people's specific talents can hinder the prince of wales" "fair enough" Everyone hops into The Motherfucker and drives back to Alabama. "all right everyone out" Everyone piles out of The Motherfucker, except for Michelle. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/'I Just Beat The Next Big Thing and All I Got Was This Stupid' t-shirt/the credits/THE END]