game of the year 2013

2013 is done. Happy New Year. Let's reflect on the year's games. I'll post them as I go. Hopefully I'll finish this year's Assassin's Creed title before next year's is out!
Prepare for nitpicking and a lot of high scores despite it all.




Grand Theft Auto V
Hands down, the most anticipated title of the year. You've all played it. You go around, you shoot guys, you steal cars. This time, we've got three protagonists and a bunch of cool heists.

+ All three protagonists are cool and relatable, ESPECIALLY Trevor
+ Lamar
+ Massively improved gunplay
+ Special abilities are neat
+ Car handling not absolute shit like in GTA IV
+ Great soundtrack
+ Massive countryside with lakes and rivers and mountains and wild animals
+ Car modification, parachutes, triathlons, beards, stats and more return from San Andreas
+ Heists are cool and great and fun
+ Stranger missions are great
+ Kifflom
+ Mission icon colours are my favourite colours ever
+ Bad endings are completely unsatisfying (which you deserve, you cunt)
+ PLANES
+ BLIMPS
+ Boats aren't total shit to control somehow
+ Underneath the water isn't boring as shit any more
+ BACK SWEAT
- BACK SWEAT
- Bob Seger
- The submarine is fucking FUCKING FUCKING FUCKING FUCK YOU FUCK WHY FUCK YOU
- Pacing is absolutely fucked
- Antagonists aren't given enough time for the player to have any strong feelings about them
- The circumstances of Michael's family leaving him couldn't be more retarded
- Franklin's ex-girlfriend is completely unlikable, and he still wants to get all up in that
- No real way to earn money after finishing story
- The cult is shit and uninteresting as fuck
- Building up your heist crew's stats is superfluous
- They reused darts from GTA IV, so why not pool
- Can't eat to regain health
- Shooting the moon doesn't do shit
- Can't pump iron
- Can't enter casino
- Can't hijack trains
- Police computer missions (and vigilante missions in general) removed
- Leaving vehicle ALWAYS shuts it off, can't shut it off at any other time like in GTA IV
- Map space is underutilised
- Radio stations get really repetitive when going for 100% completion
- Clothing options limited
- The game LOVES to change your clothing for you if you switch to a different character
- GTA Online is awful, buggy, and uninteresting as fuck
- Seriously, why didn't they just reuse GTA IV online? It was much better
- You will never retake Grove Street
- Why did you do it Lazlow
9.5/10



The Wolf Among Us [Episode One]
After last year's The Walking Dead, Telltale Games were thrust into the limelight. This allowed them to expand their studios, and, in addition to a sequel to The Walking Dead, they were able to start The Wolf Among Us (and twenty other games). It is also based on a series of comics I never read. Only one episode is currently available, and I got it for free.
I'm actually looking forward to the rest of the season. $15 for the season pass doesn't sound bad at all. it's going to be the walking dead all over again

+ The art style from The Walking Dead returns, and looks better than ever (and actually fits better in a fairy tale-based game than a zombies game)
+ The game's presentation is really well-done
+ Interesting characters and plot
+ Voice acting is very good
+ Bigby is a likable protagonist
+ Hell, none of the characters are bad
+ Handles the mostly serious tone well without it being overbearing like The Walking Dead
+ Not as much of a fucking downer as The Walking Dead
+ I'm a sucker for investigations and interrogations
- A bit too much hand-holding in investigations; the game shows you the thing you're supposed to make a mental connection to
- Action sequences are still just quicktime events
- "Toad will remember that" gave me flashbacks to disappointments past
- The character models sometimes look kind of strange (mostly the eyes)
- GODDAMMIT WHY DID YOU WHAT THE FUCK TELLTALE THAT'S WHAT
- Ending is such a perfect "BUY EPISODE TWO" hook
- Where's episode two?
8.5/10



Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Dual Destinies
The digital-only fifth game in the Ace Attorney series. Phoenix is back after the events of Apollo Justice with a sweet new vest. Like, damn.

+ Sweet new vest
+ Like, damn
+ Two characters on-screen at once?! What is this trickery
+ The 3D models immitate the sprites so well and look amazing
+ The backgrounds are also great-looking
+ Animated cutscenes look great
+ Character names are just as punny as ever
+ The characters themselves fit with all the others nicely
+ The new detective is great
+ Fuck, they even made Pearl likable
+ Rewind dialogue button is a fucking GODSEND (or would be if it weren't glitched half the time)
+ Case notes (objective list) is really handy during investigations
+ Multiple pages of locations? It's like I'm in heaven
+ Psyche Locks are back, and still the best gimmick
+ Apollo's perceive trick is better as an investigation tool here than as a courtroom one in AJ
+ The Mood Matrix is a neat gimmick
+ The music is as great as ever
+ Phoenix agrees with me that the sun is sweltering and opressive
+ Apollo is a weeaboo
+ Phoenix and Apollo have a hard-hitting conversation about the game's greatest feature: shoving your lawyer's badge in people's faces
- Digital-only
- THE DARK AGE OF THE LAW
- THE DARK AGE OF THE LAW
- THE DARK AGE OF THE LAW
- Not enough Trucy
- Showing us who committed the second crime? Poor show (to be fair though it still has shitloads of twists and turns)
- I figured out the correct answer to the final question of case 3 long before Athena had a panic attack about not being able to figure it out
- Can only examine certain areas rather than all of them
- Putting a grid on the bottom screen and having it related to your cursor on the top screen when pointing out things to look at was an odd decision
- The new voice actors AREN'T GOOD (especially Athena)
- Why doesn't killer of case 3 have an "objection" voice clip if he says it all the time
- If they recorded voices for the trio of friends in case 3, why didn't they get objection voices
- Why didn't Apollo keep that sweet jacket (but actually wear it as a jacket instead of as a cape)
- The cutscenes don't have subtitles and are really quiet
- I really wish the cutscenes weren't voiced
- Typos everywhere
- THE DARK AGE OF THE LAW
- Still missed the "Guy Regrub's Burger Stand" opportunity (he would need to put his burgers in bowls because they are swimming in ketchup)
- The way Apollo crosses his arms REALLY bothers me
- Blackquill is too edgy for me
- Like, damn, I'm surprised he doesn't cut himself on all that edge
- And he's a weeaboo to top it off
- Like, shit, why doesn't the judge just fucking throw him out? He's in contempt of court every, like, five minutes
- THE DARK AGE OF THE LAW
- No Gumshoe? Really? Not even a cameo? The only character who has been in every game now is Phoenix
- I'm really just nitpicking and none of these faults really detract from this amazing game
10/10


Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Dual Destinies: DLC case
For an additional six dollars, a sixth case is available. I snatched that shit up.
The case details Phoenix Wright's first case after the events of Apollo Justice. That is to say, his first case in eight whole years. It's the biggest client he's ever defended, so it's clear that this is one whale of a trial.

+ Price point is very fair
+ Fifty different versions of a sea shanty, sung by fifty different ladies
+ RAPPING PIRATE
+ SUBTITLES DURING THE INTRO CUTSCENE
- NONE IN ANY OTHER CUTSCENE
- Horrible fish puns
- Interacting with Fulbright again after what happened is kind of depressing
- You have to sit through tutorials of things you did already in the main game
- I didn't figure out any of the finishing logic rollercoaster, and let Phoenix just take me along for the ride, confused the whole time
- In fact, the case completely lost me mentally and emotionally during the second day of trials for many, many reasons
- I mean, shit, you invalidate a man's whole reason for living twice
GODDAMMIT CAPCOM/10




standings as of now:
Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Dual Destinies
Grand Theft Auto V
The Wolf Among Us [Episode One]





A PREVIEW OF THINGS TO COME:
Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag
Batman: Arkham Origins
Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon
Fire Emblem: Awakening
Kingdom Hearts HD 1.5 Remix
LEGO Marvel Superheroes
Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance
Ratchet and Clank: Into the Nexus
Saints Row IV
Sly Cooper: Thieves in Time
Sonic: Lost World

and maybe some others later who knows

Sonic: Lost World
The follow-up to 2011's fan favourite, Sonic Generations. Instead of playing it safe, Sonic Team tried something new, to... less than stellar results. THEY HAD THE WORLD IN THEIR HANDS
Every Goddamn time I start to like this game, it pulls some shit like Jealous Girlfriend Snowball. I call it this because, in addition to the female face on it, it follows you around all the time and tries to destroy any snowball you so much as look at. God forbid you try to solve a puzzle with it.
I'm actually glad I've played this game. It's very unique in its ability to make me flash between enjoyment and hatred so easily.
Note that I am playing the 3DS version rather than the Wii U version. The two have different levels.

+ The mechanics of the game are great
+ The cutscenes are entertaining
+ Orbot and Cubot are back
+ Great level variety (as far as what you're doing; the level themes are very standard)
+ New wisp powers are cool
+ The snowboarding level was great
+ Sky Road Zone is an interesting take on the casino level
+ It's also the best zone
+ The invincibility music is the Sonic Heroes theme
- It's an instrumental
- I Can't Believe It's Not Green Hill Zone!™
- Special stages are fucking horrible
- Fights against large enemies end up being tedious, especially when they just decide not to die
- Conveyance issues in side-scrolling levels, usually centred around gravity
- Who the fuck do they have voicing Amy
- Game has chronic "what am I doing wrong" syndrome
- Sometimes, the easiest way forward past some bullshit "puzzle" is to just use the game's mechanics against it
- Jealous Girlfriend Snowball
- DESERT RUINS, ZONE 3: FUCK IT FUCK IT TO FUCKING HELL YOU FUCKING FUCK
- Ends with a boss rush
- Level select screen spoils final boss before it even happens
- Final boss fight is full of horrible decisions that make no sense
- Why do I have to spin dash to target the knees and how am I supposed to figure that out
- Why did I get sucked up by a black hole twenty minutes into the fight
- Why do I have to start over from the beginning every time the game throws a twist I actively could not prepare for
- Why
4/10



standings as of now:
Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Dual Destinies
Grand Theft Auto V
The Wolf Among Us [Episode One]
Sonic: Lost World

Saints Row Forever After
After the success of Saints Row the Third, Volition planned a fourth DLC for it called "Enter the Dominatrix". THQ's president, Jason Rubin (formerly of Naughty Dog), convinced them to make it a full game. After THQ's bankruptcy and the subsequent selling off of its properties, the game continued development, only published this time by Ritchie Blackmore's and Daniel Johns's newest band, Deep Silver.
Basically, your character has become president of the United States, gets abducted by aliens, and gets trapped in a virtual world in which he gains superpowers. I feel the need to point out that the previous three games were about leading a gang and shooting other gangsters (while spraying the contents of a sceptic truck on cars and pedestrians on weekends).

+ I forgive the game for everything just because of Leave it to the Saints
+ The nuclear missile-climbing scene was amusing
+ You don't have to be in a car to listen to your tunes
+ A lot of blowing shit up in new and interesting ways
+ Blazin' is super-fun, as are powers in general
+ Telekinesis Mayhem is a great idea
+ The Mech Suit is amazing, especially in its own variation of Mayhem
+ Professor Genki is back, with a great new game
+ I have never played a game where moving from point A to point B was this fun
+ You can play the entirety of the Mass Effect series in this one game
+ Matt's loyalty mission oh god
+ Clever Johnny fakeout
+ Paul
+ Pierce and The Boss duet 2.0
+ You get to go back to Saints Row, like actual Saints Row, with the church and everything
+ Bad parody of stealth games
+ Never again will that light threaten world peace
- That light had a family
- Don't get to snipe watercooler
- King's loyalty mission is fundamentally shit, even without counting... the unpleasantness
- I doubt I'll ever be able to listen to Simply Irresistable ever again
- Kinzie is really fucking annoying
- Calls magazines "clips"
- Soundtrack is mostly bad (What is Love, Don't Wanna Miss a Thing, Lump, The Touch, The Boys are Back in Town, and Opposites Attract are the only worthy songs)
- Still can't make a character that isn't Buff McLargeHuge
- That glitch where the game never saves the fact that you removed that neck tattoo is still present
- The game starts with you killing vaguely Muslim-looking people in the Middle East
- Speed Rifts aren't fun and last too long
- Telekinesis Rifts aren't fun, last too long, and are too easy to fail (it was a good idea, but the execution was bad)
- Makes light of Carlos's death
- Game acknowledges the fact that Keith David is Julius's voice actor (I KNOW A LOT ABOUT WHEN NOT TO MENTION SOMETHING EVER AGAIN)
- Framerate issues (especially in UFO mayhem)
- Game freezing issues
- Far too much dubstep
9/10



standings as of now:
Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Dual Destinies
Grand Theft Auto V
Saints Row IV
The Wolf Among Us [Episode One]
Sonic: Lost World

Ratchet and Clank: Into the Nexus
The latest installment of the Ratchet and Clank series comes with a free download for Quest for Booty, a digital-only release (outside of Europe) that I kept forgetting to pick up. My forgetfulness has been rewarded.

Ratchet and Clank Future: Quest for Booty
The middle episode of the Future trilogy. It has pirates.
It isn't really much of anything, honestly. A few gunplay segments, a few puzzles, some neat platforming, and a cool boss fight

+ Interesting puzzles
+ Platforming
+ Final boss is cool
+ You can tell a village you're a Crotchitiser salesman and they will call you that for the rest of the game
+ Rusty Pete's narration is brilliant
- Turrets
- You lose all your weapons at the start for no good reason
- All the weapons are reused from Tools of Destruction
- Tornado launcher still uses Godawful sixaxis controls
- Controls for the wrench tether are awkward
- NARROW BEAMS
- TENTACLES THAT COME OUT OF THE WALLS
- STOP THAT
- GODDAMMIT STOP THAT
- JUST FUCKING STOP
6.5/10

Ratchet and Clank: Into the Nexus
The sixth installment of the Future trilogy. Titled "Ratchet and Clank: Nexus" in Europe for some reason.

+ New anti-gravity mechanics are interesting and not intrusive to the general gameplay
+ Best puzzle design in the series
+ Clank missions now work like some kind of pretentious indie game (which is an improvement somehow)
+ The plumber's back
+ Infobots return, after being absent since the original
+ Thugs 4 Less return (if it ain't broke, they'll break it)
+ The Polaris museum is great
+ You can even get Biobliterated
+ Interesting new weapons
- A LOT of retreads
- Can't customise your quick select
- Hall of Villainy missing the Thugs 4 Less Leader (R.I.P.)
- Still using the artstyle from All 4 One instead of the superior Future trilogy artstyle
- The controls are a step back from A Crack in Time
- Still can't use the thruster pack
- VERY short
- Cronk and Zephyr are really dead
- I mean what the fuck
9/10



standings as of now:
Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Dual Destinies
Grand Theft Auto V
Ratchet and Clank: Into the Nexus
Saints Row IV
The Wolf Among Us [Episode One]
Sonic: Lost World

LEGO Marvel Superheroes
Ever since 2005's LEGO Star Wars, Traveller's Tales have been making, like, a million licensed LEGO games every year. The latest in the series is LEGO Marvel Superheroes, which is the second one with an open world, and the third with voice acting. In it, you get to play as all of your favourites; Spider-Man, Deadpool, Captain Britain, Iron Man, Deadpool, Thor, Deadpool, Dr. Doom, Jean Grey, Deadpool, and, of course, Deadpool.

+ Open world is amazingly fun to fuck around in
+ Great attention to detail (for example: The Human Torch goes out if he flies into water, and Wolverine slowly regenerates health)
+ Deadpool side missions are amazing
+ Deadpool does a different dance after every one of his missions
+ Stan Lee is back
+ The Punisher HATES trucks
+ "True Believer" is the best "get all these money" name yet (did that make any sense)
+ Unlocking characters is actually fun this time
- But unlocking certain characters outside of story missions confirms that they don't appear in story missions
- Character-switching problems arise when you have more than two (you seem to switch between the two you don't need)
- Character-switching when you have free reign is needlessly complex; it cycles characters through all of their outfits, even when you only have one unlocked
- It's especially bad for Iron Man, since he has ten different suits, which all have different abilities
- Character-switching menu is unorganised; story characters are listed in the order you get them, not by super team or alphabetically
- Game auto-targets enemies, and often targets the wrong one in boss fights
- Samuel L. Jackson does not reprise his role as Samuel L. Jackson
- Who the fuck is this hack playing Jameson and why the fuck isn't it the guy from the movies and currently-running television series
- ... Goddammit, John DiMaggio
- Stan Lee's lines get cut off a lot
- Deadpool's lines sometimes don't trigger in free play
- Deadpool's line about Stan Lee often triggers at the beginning of levels (he's not talking about Spider-Man)
- Spider-Man's wall-crawling abilities limited for no reason
- Future Foundation Spider-Man transforms into Peter Parker, who transforms into... regular Spider-Man?!
- No Captain America/Captain Britain team-up
- Flight controls are HORRIBLE
- HORRIBLE
- Air vehicles are even worse
- Map doesn't zoom out very far
- Nearly unkillable death turrets (thankfully only in one mission)
- Final boss is more annoying than challenging
8.5/10


standings as of now:
Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Dual Destinies
Grand Theft Auto V
Saints Row IV
LEGO Marvel Superheroes
The Wolf Among Us [Episode One]
Sonic: Lost World

Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance
This game started out as Metal Gear Solid: Rising several years ago. It was set to take place between MGS2 and MGS4, and likely explain how Raiden became a cyborg. After being nearly cancelled, Platinum Games took the game and thrust its setting to after MGS4 and went to work, renaming it Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance. A change for the better, I'd say.

+ RULES OF NATURE
+ Very convincing spine-collecting simulator
+ Platinum Games obviously cared about the source material, but didn't play it too safe
+ The first boss is fucking Goddamn Metal Gear Ray
+ You can cut up nearly anything
+ Raiden's fighting style is very fluid and everything I expected after MGS4
+ The parry system is easy to learn and execute
+ Additional weapons help vary combat and are actually useful
+ The cardboard box returns
+ Enemies have been reading Big Boss's The Art of War, as they are found hiding in cardboard boxes
+ The league of villains is the best since Foxhound
+ Codec conversations are back, and really give Raiden some more characterisation
+ Raiden literally says "not again!!!" when his arm gets cut off
+ Raiden disguises himself as el mariachi
+ And when he does, the cardboard box has a sombrero
+ The Monsoon boss fight is perfect for making sure players know how to parry
- Shame it ends in a fucking quicktime event (which I even failed)
- Quicktime events everywhere
- Goddamn Boris steals Snake's line
- When you fail a mission, the option to continue from checkpoint says "restart" rather than "continue"
- Camera troubles when facing fast opponents
- Some minor framerate issues
- Standing here, I realise
- I can't do it
- "hey all of my attacks take off way too much of your health"
- "plus i can throw rubble at you which takes off half your life bar if you never figured out how to be accurate in blade mode"
- "also i can regenerate all my health at a moment's notice"
8/10


Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance: Jetstream
Imagine a DLC that has you play as a Mexican samurai. Imagine that it cost $7 originally, but is now down to exactly free.

+ Sam plays completely differently than Raiden while still retaining the same core gameplay (like Dante and Vergil in DMC3)
+ Bladewolf is still a great "no casuals" entry barrier
+ Spines as fun to collect as ever
- I'm still horrible at Zandatsu
- Reuses environments from the base game
- Sam just isn't as fun to play as as Raiden
- Sam can't stealth kill
- The final boss is Armstrong again
- He is still impossible to beat
6/10


Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance: Bladewolf
Imagine a DLC that has you play as a robotic dog. Imagine that it cost $7 originally, but is now down to exactly free.

+ Spines as fun to collect as ever
- I'm still horrible at Zandatsu
- Bladewolf is retarded fragile
- Forced platforming as a character who has almost zero jump ability
fuck you/10



standings as of now:
Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Dual Destinies
Grand Theft Auto V
Ratchet and Clank: Into the Nexus
Saints Row IV
LEGO Marvel Superheroes
The Wolf Among Us [Episode One]
Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance
Sonic: Lost World

Medieval Eugenics Simulator 2013
Fire Emblem: March of the Waifus
Fire Emblem: Awakening
The thirteenth installment in Nintendo's long-running strategy series. This is already the best-selling installment of the franchise, and comes with a "casual" mode which is for babies. Naturally, I will be choosing this mode. It is independent of difficulty, and its setting determines whether or not your characters will die for real if they fall in combat. Turning this on will hopefully help me actually finish the game.
Honestly, with the different support conversations and units I never really used, there's a lot of replay value here.

+ Difficulty settings are great for the various types of people who will pick up this game
+ Entertaining and varied cast of characters
+ Selecting breeding partners for the cast is oddly compelling
+ Medieval Miles Edgeworth
+ Henry
+ I DID PRONOUNCE "LUCINA" CORRECTLY, /v/ (wait... oh no... SHIT I'VE BEEN HAD)
+ The visual effect for lethality is SO GOOD
+ The mission where you have to fight copies of your dudes is amazing + tense (damn you Vaike and your 80+ health + counter ability)
+ AMAZING fakeout at the climax
+ The game shows you all your mission end screens at the end and remembers when your units were promoted and the order you did the missions in
+ Ending and that whole pre-mission cutscene are great
- The mission itself is, like, way too easy
- Having everyone say "oh Robin will come back dog" is a neat idea, BUT THERE ARE WAY TOO MANY PARTY MEMBERS
- PRIAM'S ARMY HOLY SHIT
- Some characters tend to stagnate because of their specific role in your party; you can't reclass them without losing options, so they don't gain new abilities
- Animated cutscenes look strange
- Most support conversations romantic; not enough friendship-based
- Lucina a shit
- Vaike constantly lies about his credentials (he does NOT have tenure)
- Can Nowi please PLEASE put on a shirt
- I don't want to go to jail
9/10



standings as of now:
Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Dual Destinies
Grand Theft Auto V
Fire Emblem: Awakening
Ratchet and Clank: Into the Nexus
Saints Row IV
LEGO Marvel Superheroes
The Wolf Among Us [Episode One]
Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance
Sonic: Lost World

Assassin's Creed 50
Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag
Have you seen how many games this series has? It's the same shit as last year, but with pirates instead of Indians. And it's good (like pirates) instead of being bad (like Indians).

+ All kinds of shit to do outside of missions
+ You can hunt for buried treasure
+ The bayou medicine mission was really great and a nice change of pace visually
+ The armour system is back after being absent from AC3
+ Quad-wielding pistols
+ Sleep/berserk darts are so good + useful
+ Geographically interesting without being horrific to navigate like AC3
+ Cities are all visually distinct
+ Corpses having a mark that says "LOOT AMMO" when they have ammo you need is nice
+ Market analysises of your favourite assassins are pretty sweet
+ The vending machine has Henry
+ Blackbeard
+ Edward actually has his hood off most of the time
+ Edward is the best Welsh protagonist of any game I've played
- By default
- Modern-day story just needs to fuck off
- Fuck Juno
- Fuck Minerva
- Fuck all of that fucking bullshit
- WHY DO I NOT HAVE THE OPTION TO JUST DO MY JOB AND MAKE THIS GAME
- FUCK YOU JOHN FROM IT
- I DON'T WANT TO BECOME EMBROILED IN THIS CONSPIRACY
- I HAVE A WIFE AND KIDS
- PROBABLY
- Game doesn't pause if your controller dies
- Subtitles have poor Grammar (not every Noun is Proper, You know)
- You have to kill Mancomb Seepgood
- Enemy swords clip through the railings on the ship, allowing them to continually knock you off as you try to board
- Walmart-exclusive items can't be gotten until sequence 3, and equipment you can get in sequence 2 is far superior
- Have to craft sleep/berserk darts individually
- Why does the government guard fucking every town with fifty ships
- Ship combat gets really fucking old after a while
- Most of the alternate outfits suck
- "Oh, you've already taken all the other forts and did all the side missions so you don't need a tutorial for it? NONSENSE"
- I fucking hate James Kidd
- I hate his voice
- I hate his personality
- I hate fucking everything about him
- And I saw the twist that he was a woman coming a mile away
- THEY KILLED BLACKBEARD
- HE WAS TWO DAYS FROM RETIREMENT
- "We still have a bunch of shit to do and loose ends to tie up BUT WHO CARES YOU BEAT THE GAAAAAAAME"
8.5/10



standings as of now:
Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Dual Destinies
Grand Theft Auto V
Fire Emblem: Awakening
Ratchet and Clank: Into the Nexus
Saints Row IV
LEGO Marvel Superheroes
Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag
The Wolf Among Us [Episode One]
Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance
Sonic: Lost World

>Standing here, I realise
>a negative

oh god why

Batman: Arkham Origins
The third game in the Bam Ham series. 2011's Arkham City saw the series reach its mechanical peak and see more exploration at the cost of Arkham Asylum's tighter level design. Origins is handled by a new developer, WB Montreal, who wanted to copy Rocksteady's games wholesale.

+ The first radio tower mission shows you all the cool takedowns you can do without feeling like a tutorial
+ Batman starts with a lot of the gadgets that players depended on in Asylum and City, meaning upgrade unlocks are more exciting
+ Flavour conversations with Alfred are cool
+ Alfred's not-death was well-done, despite (or maybe because of) angsty teenage Batman
+ Crime scene analysis missions are cool
+ New enemy types are cool
+ The electrogauntlets are pretty sweet
+ Villain scenes when Batman dies are back
+ The Electrocutioner boss fight rivals Mr. Freeze in greatness
+ The boss fights are actually better than Rocksteady's, sans Mr. Freeze and Clayface
+ The Copperhead boss fight was neat and featured a totally Batman moment at the end
+ Shiva boss fight was neat
+ The final Bane boss fight was amazingly tense and wow
+ The snow effect looks really good
+ Taught me how to pronounce "banal" (it doesn't rhyme with "anal"?)
- THE MAIN VILLAIN IS THE JOKER YET A-FUCKING-GAIN
- I FUCKING GET IT, YOU LIKE THE JOKER
- "HEY THEY KILLED HIM OFF IN CITY HOW CAN WE PUT HIM IN AGAIN"
- "I KNOW LET'S DO A PREQUEL"
- "YEAH AND WE'LL TEASE IT BY ADVERTISING THE MASTERMIND AS A NEW, INTERESTING VILLAIN"
- "THEN HE'LL BE FUCKING THE JOKER FOR THE FUCKING EIGHTIETH TIME"
- FUCK
- The Goddamn subtitles say "wouldn't of"
- "HEY MISTER CAN WE HAVE OUR BALL BACK" (your words hurt me, Barbara)
- Map colours kind of blend together (everything's blue)
- The glue grenade is an obvious clone of the ice grenade, even where it doesn't make sense (GLUE BOATS)
- Sometimes I glue over a pipe and nothing happens
- Enemies have no peripheral vision
- Deadshot boss fight is Goddamn bullshit
- Batman's face looks kind of weird
- The Joker's new voice actor is just bad
- You can't grapple to a lot of places it looks like you should be able to
- The Mad Hatter side mission was a good idea, but was executed kind of poorly
- And what the fuck at Alice's dialogue
- Experience point totals are pointlessly large
- Snipers are still the biggest fun-killers in the world
- Additional costumes still can't be used until you finish the game
- JOIN WB SOCIAL NETWORK SO YOU CAN FORGET ABOUT IT UNTIL OUR NEXT GAME; YOU'LL GET EXCLUSIVE CONTENT
- Where is my Adam West Batman game
8/10

my number ratings mean nothing and are very inconsistent btw

standings as of now:
Grand Theft Auto V
Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Dual Destinies
Fire Emblem: Awakening
Ratchet and Clank: Into the Nexus
Saints Row IV
LEGO Marvel Superheroes
Batman: Arkham Origins
Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag
The Wolf Among Us [Episode One]
Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance
Sonic: Lost World