Pokémon TruthWhite and FalsehoodBlack

Be sure to first read the other entires in the Pokémon series posted above this one in the navigation menu.

CHAPTOUR ONE:
"hilda your friends are here for your birthday" "oh cool um what happened to all my pants" "oh i threw them out" "WHAT WHY" "i don't know it sounded like a good idea at the time" "i can't have company without any pants!!!" "you've still got those ripped shorts i made for you out of old pants" "no way everyone will think i'm some kind of slut if i wear those" "well it's either that or no pants" "i'll take my chances with the no pants"
"happy birthday hilly!!! we brought this box of three pokémon for you to choose from" "oh thanks i-" Hilda stares down into the box of Pokémon. "what the fuck is this shit" "come on it's all we got" "that otter thing is horrifically ugly, and that green snake is silently judging me; i'm gonna take the pig" "good choice, tepig becomes a fire/fighting pokémon" "oh sweet blaziken and infernape are great pokémon" "yeah emboar is a lot like those only you know how blaziken and infernape are good? well emboar is terrible instead" "wha-" "SO I'LL TAKE THE UGLY OTTER THEN" "and i'll take the grass snake" "wait wait wait-" "NOW LET'S BATTLE" "shouldn't we go outside first" "nonsense!!!" Bianca forces herself into a battle with Hilda. Luckily, Bianca throws the match, allowing Hilda to win by refusing to use tackle. Unluckily, Hilda's bedroom is completely destroyed. "WHAT THE FUCK YOU DESTROYED MY BEDROOM AND ON MY BIRTHDAY TOO" "uh hey is that a pair of pants we've unearthed?!" "WHERE?!" While Hilda searches frantically for a pair of pants, Cheren and Bianca escape through a window.

CHAPTOUR TWO:
"hey how's the new pokémon working out for you kiddo" "the battle destroyed my bedroom" "oh well to make up for throwing out your pants, i'll clean up your room for you" "oh thanks" Hilda exits her house, ducking in and out of bushes until she gets to Professor Juniper's lab. "oh hilda how's the pokém-where are your pants" "that's what i'd like to know" "i can't have you in my lab with no pants on, you'll contaminate my research!!! take this pokédex and please leave"
Hilda heads out to Route 1, officially starting her journey for a pair of pants. Even a single pant would be appreciated at this point. "hilly hilly let's all three of us take our first step onto route 1 AT THE SAME TIME!!!" "that sounds really stupid and lame" "come onnnnnnn please" "okay bonky, i'll make you a deal: we can do that if you will give me your skirt" "uh i'll pass" "then no dice" Hilda begins to walk off, but Bianca and Cheren walk in-step with her, fulfilling Bianca's request. "goddammit"
Hilda arrives in Accumula Town, and immediately rushes to the Pokémart. "hello pokémart? do you have any pants i can buy" "uh no" "do you know where i can buy some pants" "buy pants?! what do you think this is, kalos?!"

CHAPTOUR THREE:
"FRIENDS COUNTRYMEN LEND TO ME YOUR EARS; POKéMON ARE FRIENDS" "yeah of course yeah" "WHY DO YOU KEEP YOUR FRIENDS TRAPPED IN BALLS" "it shrinks them down and it's like a luxury condo in there all for free" "r-really?!" "i mean probably" "probably isn't good enough!!! RELEASE YOUR POKéMON" "nah i'm good" "goddammit" Ghetsis packs up his troupe of Team Plasma grunts and walks off. "how do you do fellow pokémon trainers; i was thinking over what ghetsis said and i think he's right; we SHOULD release our pokémon" "i've seen this swindle before" "pardon?" "you claim to not know that guy when you're clearly in cahoots" "cahoots?!" "listen buddy i will release my tepig here and now if you do one thing for me" "what's that?" "give me your pants" "what?! no" "i guess i'll be going off with tepig then" Hilda walks off, jiggling her hips specifically so that Tepig's Pokéball bounces against her leg. "come on i need these pants don't do this to me i only have one pair" "i have no pairs; i don't even have a single of pant" The strange man slinks away, needing to preserve his pants.
"HILDA WAIT UP" Hilda's mother rushes toward her, carrying a box. "listen i'm really sorry i threw out your pants so i ordered you these to make up for it" "oh boy oh boy oh b-" Hilda's expression goes blank. "shoes?" "RUNNING shoes!!! now you can run to your heart's content!!!" "yet i still don't have any pants" "you know, when someone buys you something, you're supposed to say 'thank you'"

CHAPTOUR FOUR:
Hilda enters Striaton City, and heads for its gym. "YO CHAMP IN THE MAKING do you dare to dream big?! do you wanna be the very best like no one ever was?!" "i just want some pants" "if you win the pokémon league, your fans will be throwing their pants at you!!!" "where do i sign up" "right here right now; but uh first we do require challengers of the striaton gym to go to the dreamyard and collect the required monkey" "what?" "shoo shoo off you go" The gym friend shoos Hilda off to the Dreamyard, where she encounters a man with a monkey on his back. "hey i heard you've got a tepig" "uh yeah?" "you should take this pansage" "PANTSAGE?! LET ME AT IT!!!" Hilda eagerly accepts her new grass-type Pokémon. "GO PANTSAGE!!! MAKE ME SOME PANTS!!!" Pansage shrugs, not understanding the request. "can you at least walk in front of me so your bush covers my panties" Pansage gives Hilda a thumbs-up.
Hilda returns to the gym, and meets the gym leader, Cilan. "hmmm a tepig-chooser? i see i see welp i'm out" Cilan skedaddles with all his might, and Cress soon appears. "CHALLENGER!!! I AM THE GYM LEADER!!! CRESS!!!" "oh, like the toothpaste?" "i take grave offense to that!!! GO PANPOUR!!!" "GO TEPIG" Cress's Panpour makes short work of Hilda's Tepig. "ah shit i'm out of pokémon" "what about that pansage" "he's uh covering my shame" "well get him out here; i can't let you leave until i beat up all of your pokémon" "fine go pansage" Pansage defeats Panpour easily, earning Hilda the trio badge.

CHAPTOUR FIVE:
"hello there hilda i'm fennel; junie told me all about you" "uh cool?" "listen i need a favour; i'm out of dream mist and i am JONESING" "i don't want a part of any drug deal" "i have my best man blocking the exit to town; you WILL get me the dream mist" "i hope this unpleasant encounter doesn't set the tone for the rest of my journey" Hilda trudges off to the Dreamyard, where two Team Plasma grunts are stomping on a Munna. "OH YEAH THAT'S IT" "fuck man i love stomping on pokémon" "word and this dream mist shit?! hoo-wee does it make the stomping all the sweeter" "uh-oh looks like trouble i'd better back off" Hilda goes to back off, but Bianca appears behind her. "oh no hilly you've got to stop them" "but what if they stomp on my pokémon instead" "that is a risk you'll have to take"
After defeating Team Plasma and returning the dream mist to Fennel in exchange for a useless piece of technology she'll never use, Hilda heads on out to Route 3, then to Nacrene City. "hello friend" "oh god not this guy again" "do you dream of a world where we can understand the hidden truths buried deep inside pokémon?!" "I DON'T WANT WHAT YOU'RE SELLING" "i'm not selling anything; i am offering eternal peace and love" "even worse" Hilda shoves past the green-haired weirdo into the gym, and throws her hat into the garbage can as she passes, not wanting to have anything in common with that autistic kid. "YO CHAMP IN THE MAKING lenora uses normal-types" "a type that weirdo out front would know nothing about i imagine" "hello challenger i am lenora i look forward to a fair match where no one calls me a hurtful name" "what constitutes as hurtful? negro? coon? jigaboo? cotton-picker? welfare-american? baboon? gorilla nigger?" "just take the damn badge" "i've got more" "GET OUT"

CHAPTOUR SIX:
"hilda help someone's stolen the museum's dragon skull!!!" "um cool" "hello my name is burgh and i am going to block off access to the next city for everyone especially you hilda until we recover the dragon skull" "GREAT" Hilda throws her arms up and heads into the Pinwheel Forest, eventually reaching the Team Plasma grunt in charge of the theft. "ha ha ha you will never get this skull from us!!! it is of the legendary dragon pokémon of unova!!!" "um no it's clearly a dragonite" "a drago-what now" "a dragonite, you know, from kanto" "from k-what now" "y-you've never heard of kanto?!" "um no?" "well then LET ME TELL YOU ALL ABOUT KANTO!!! kanto is so well-laid out non-linear LOVE IT want to admire it all day warm climate so cute so amazing love it need it kanto!!!" "uh-" "here are five facts about kanto!!! 1: kanto is a region!!! 2: it's the best one!!! 3: i love it!!! 4: kanto!!!" "that was only four" "i will be taking back this dragonite skull now; a layman who knows nothing of kanto does not deserve it" "fine whatever" The Team Plasma grunt throws the skull to Hilda and trudges off, secretly wondering what Kanto is like. "well done hilda!!! to reward you for recovering the prized kantonian dragonite skull, i, BURGH, will have my leavanny make you a fine pair of pants" "really?!" "oh yes; leavanny makes all of my clothes" "oh boy oh boy" Hilda is positively giddy at the prospect of acquiring pants, and gratefully receives the pair made by Leavanny. "they match mine and everything" "they're beautiful" Hilda thanks Burgh and Leavanny again and again, and catches a Sewaddle of her own, hoping to raise it into a seamstress Leavanny of her own.

CHAPTOUR SEVEN:
"oh hey hilly nice pants" "thanks bonky i-" Hilda freezes in fear seeing the figure standing behind Bianca. "BONKY!!! THERE'S A MUGGER STANDING RIGHT BEHIND YOU!!!" "who? iris? no she's my bodyguard" "oh so you're mugging me now is it?! i thought we were friends!!!" "wha-" "WELL YOU'RE NOT GETTING MY HARD-EARNED PANTS!!! HAVE AT YOU!!! GO LEAVANNY!!!" "calm down i don't want your pants" "y-you don't? my wallet, then?!" "no" "then why have you teamed up with a mugger?!" "someone stole my precious munna and i thought: who better to catch a mugger than another mugger!!!" "that's actually pretty smart" "i know right?" Just then, the original mugger walks onto the scene. "DOOT DOOT DOO I SURE LOVE MUGGING PEOPLE" "THERE HE IS!!! GO MUG THE FUCK OUT HIM BODYGUARD!!!" "with pleasure" Iris mugs the mugger with her unparalleled mugging skill, and hands Bianca back her Munna. "that'll be all your money, 'bonky'" "worth it"
Finally, Hilda arrives at the Castelia City gym. "YO CHAMP IN THE MAKING burgh uses bug-types" "uh cool but where is he?" "just step through these walls of honey" "ew i'll get honey in my hair" "it's either that or no gym badge" Hilda thinks for a moment, and it hits her. "leavanny make me a poncho please!!!" Leavanny does as she's asked, and Hilda marches through the honey walls without getting any in her hair. "hello trainer how are the pants working out for you" "i love them; this experience has showed me one thing: i absolutely ADORE the grass type!!!" "pardon?" "leavanny is a grass-type!!! so i caught more and look at this lilligant i caught!!! she's so fragrant!!!" "um leavanny is a bug-type too you know" "it's okay i still love her in spite of that" Burgh scowls at Hilda. "just battle me already" "OKAY GO LILLIGANT!!!" "GO LEAVANNY" Hilda's overleveled Lilligant destroys Burgh's Leavanny, earning her the insect badge.

CHAPTOUR EIGHT:
Hilda wanders into the Desert Resort and finds a man in a suit. "hey there how's the standing around going" "y-you're the first person ever to speak to me here; i'm touched" "uh-" "here, take this soft sand as a way to remember this meeting" The man begins scooping sand into Hilda's clothes. "hey wait STOP"
"BIANCA you are going to come home right now!!!" "but father i want to be a pokémon trainer" "HEY i'm the gym leader elesa and i say you should let your daughter continue as a pokémon trainer" "yes whatever you say pretty lady" Bianca's father stares at Elesa with his tongue hanging out. "cool uh bye" Bianca zips off.
Hilda heads into the amusement park, hoping to be amused. She is, however, unamused when she sees the autistic weirdo from earlier. "hey wanna go ride the ferris wheel with me" "no" "that ticket to ride the ferris wheel in your hand says otherwise" "while it is true that i want to ride the ferris wheel, i would rather not ride it at all if my only option is riding it with you" "ouch what did i ever do to you?" "you're clearly in cahoots with that annoying team plasma, you speak like you're trying to get me to join a cult, and your ponytail is STUPID" "you have a ponytail too" "i'm a GIRL girls are ALLOWED to have ponytails" "is there a law against a man having a ponytail?" "there ought to be" "there also ought to be a law against trapping pokémon in small orbs for your amusement, but here we are" "hey how about a deal" "i'm not giving you my pants" "no no; you cut off that stupid ponytail and i will release my tepig here and now" "what about the other four pokémon on your belt" "i have made my terms clear" "no deal; i'd need at least three pokémon for that" "fine then, not only will you not achieve your goals, you'll continue to look STUPID" "fine" "FINE"

CHAPTOUR NINE:
Knowing that the autistic ponytail kid will attempt to sneak on after her if she goes alone, Hilda goes on the ferris wheel with Bianca. "thanks for wheeling with me bonky" "it was on my nimbasa city checklist anyway so i figured why not push it up a bit and go with my best friend hilly" "hey look at that loser down there with the green hair" "he looks foolish" "let's laugh at him" "let's" Hilda and Bianca laugh and laugh until the ferris wheel stops at the bottom. They disembark, and Hilda heads for the gym.
"YO CHAMP IN THE MAKING elesa uses electric-types and uh by the way do you get motion sickness?" "no" "good good enjoy the rollercoasters" "i believe i shall" Hilda boards the roller and coasts her way over to Elesa. "hello challenger i hope for a nice match GO EMOLGA" "GO MARACTUS" Hilda's grass-type team is utterly destroyed by Elesa's Emolgas. "hmm maybe what i need is a grass/rock pokémon" "good luck finding one of those in unova"
Hilda returns to the gym, having overleveled her grass-type Pokémon, and defeats Elesa handily, earning her the bolt badge. "nice grinding!!! i'll call up clay and have him lower charizard bridge for you to progress to the next city" "why do they call it charizard bridge" "because everyone loves charizard and they wanted everyone to love this bridge too" "most people are tired of charizard by this point" "and most people are tired of bridges by this point as well but you've got a lot more of them to cross from here on out" "joy"

CHAPTOUR TEN:
"hey you" "me?" "YES YOU you fucking asshole" "what did i do?!" "you just HAD to go and cross the bridge didn't you?! well the team plasma grunts we cornered ESCAPED once the bridge came down!!!" "how is that my fault?" "they used the bridge lowering YOU CALLED FOR as a distraction so they could escape!!!" "you didn't have to lower the bridge!!! if you'd told me to wait, i would have!!! i could have ridden the ferris wheel again rather than listening to your bullshit" "well missy you won't be able to challenge my gym until you round up those team plasma grunts" "i don't want to challenge your gym anyway you annoying piece of shit; i'll challenge roxie for my fifth badge instead" "go ahead, it's not like you'll be able to challenge anything past driftveil city without earning my badge" "why not" "chargestone cave blocks the rest of the region, and no one is allowed in without the quake badge" "i'll go back across the marvelous bridge then and go counter-clockwise" "PFFT the marvelous bridge?! that's not even finished yet!!!" "i'll wait" "good luck, the engineer told me he's not planning to finish until YOU SPECIFICALLY, hilda blair amsel, defeat the champion" "seriously?!" "he's also got his eye on one rosalyn whitlea leblanc but she's a bit young to consider facing the champion" Hilda throws her arms up, disgusted at how the Unovan government operates.
"hmmm knowing team plasma, they're probably in the least pleasant place to be in driftveil city" Hilda looks around and finds the cold storage building. She immediately begins shivering. "leavanny be a dear and make me some warm clothes please" After putting on her cold weather gear, Hilda enters cold storage and finds Team Plasma hiding in a storage container. "aw r-r-r-r-rats" "i th-th-th-th-thought n-n-n-no one would l-l-l-l-l-look here" "come quietly team plasma" "i c-c-c-c-c-can't i'm f-f-f-f-f-f-frozen to the f-f-f-f-f-floor"
"YO CHAMP IN THE MAKING clay uses ground-types" "you've done well to make it this far but i still don't forgive you for your bridge shenanigans!!! GO KROOKODILE" "GO LILLIGANT" "..." "..." "just take the damn badge"

CHAPTOUR ELEVEN:
"HILDA how nice of you to join me!!!" "oh god not you again" "how's your friend? what was her name again? bonky?" "are you stalking me" "no i am having other people stalk you for me" "what is your name; i want to get a restraining order" "my name is n" "n? what does that stand for? nigger?" "if you must know, it stands for naturia harmonia gropius" "your parents must have hated you almost as much as i do" "no matter; HILDA you are a chosen one!!! team plasma will test your mettle through about a million battles in this cave!!!" "dear god i don't give a fuck about your stupid little cult; i just want to get to the next town" "next time we meet, it will be on the fields of BATTLE" "i thought you were against pokémon battles" "the ends justify the means hilda" "what end?! all you've done is whine at a teenage girl repeatedly" "i will become pokémon league champion and enact a law that forces all trainers to release their pokémon" "you know, maybe pokémon battles aren't the best way to decide the ruler of a nation"
Hilda finally gets to the exit of Chargestone Cave, where N is waiting yet again. "dear god fuck off" "do you have a dream hilda?" "yes; my dream is that one day, you will LEAVE ME ALONE" "release your pokémon and i'll leave you alone all you'd like" "can we just have that battle or whatever" "fine GO BOLDORE" "GO SAWSBUCK" Hila's Sawsbuck destroys N's team. "it pains me to see my friends get hurt like this" "dude we have free health care it's not a big deal" "YOU'RE not a big deal!!!" N runs off crying.

CHAPTOUR TWELVE:
Finally free of distractions, Hilda heads for the Mistralton City gym. "YO CHAMP IN THE MAKING skyla uses flying-types, ALSO to get to her, you'll need to launch yourself out of these cannons" "WHAT" Hilda stares at the large cannon in front of her. "do i at least get a helmet or something" "no way pussy" "LEAVANNY knit me a thick padded suit please" While Hilda gets into her new padded suit, everyone in the gym laughs at her. Once fully protected, Hilda launches herself over to Skyla. "what the fuck was that you goddamn wuss" "i'd rather not break all my bones thanks" "this gym is about DANGER just like flight in general!!! life is about risks!!! you're just a weak little baby" "whatever can we battle now" "oh yes we can GO SWANNA" "GO LEAVANNY" Hilda's overleveled grass-type team destroys Skyla's team, despite the type disadvantage. "take the badge and get out; you sicken me"
Hilda next makes her way to Icirrus City, home of another gym. "YO CHAMP IN THE MAKING brycen uses ice-types and has instructed me to give you this" The gym friend hands Hilda the icicle badge. "what why" "he heard you picked tepig as your starter and that's all he needed to hear to know he'd lose" "yeah but it's level 13 and unevolved" "LEVEL 13?!" The gym trainers run for cover, cowering in fear of fire like cavemen. "also three weird ninja guys told me to tell you that that gropius guy wants to see you at dragonspiral tower" "well i know where i'm not going" "yeah, to opelucid city for your next gym badge until you go see him" "he's blocked the exit hasn't he" "yeah" "for fuck's sake" Hilda grabs her badge and trudges off.

CHAPTOUR THIRTEEN:
Hilda reluctantly climbs the Dragonspiral Tower, meeting up with N at the very top. "yo hilda i've just revived the legendary pokémon zekrom" "i don't care" "zekrom will carry my ideals forward to a new age!!! if you think your puny truth can defeat MY FEELINGS then catch the other legendary pokémon reshiram!!!" "do i have to" A bolt of lightning strikes right in front of Hilda. "don't keep me waiting" Hilda dejectedly trudges down the tower, not wanting any part of some autistic kid's fantasy. Outside, she runs into Bianca. "hey bonky could you do me a favour and head all the way back to nacrene city and buy the museum's light stone for me? here's the money, plus a little for yourself" "i won't let you down hilly!!!" Bianca catches herself a nearby Tranquill and flies down to Nacrene City. Soon, she returns dissheveled and carrying the light stone. "here's your stone hilly" "what happened to you; you're a mess" "well uh the curator refused to sell it to me after i told her it was for you, so i kind of just stole it" "good work bonky; keep the money i gave you, you earned it" "i'm going to go to the hospital now to treat these stoutland scratches" "good idea"

CHAPTOUR FOURTEEN:
Leaving Bianca behind, Hilda heads to Opelucid City, home to the eighth and final gym. "ah you must be hilda; i am the gym leader drayden" "cool let's go to the gym and-" "not until i regale you with tales of the legendary pokémon reshiram!!! come to my place" "STRANGER DANGER STRANGER DANGER" "don't be like that; come" Iris drags Hilda into Drayden's house, ready for story time. "it all began in nineteen aught twelve" "19012? that's in the future" "don't interrupt me; now as i was saying, back in those days, people accepted the truth as the way things are, and we had just one dragon; then some HIPPIES decided the truth wasn't good enough for them, and they started talking about 'ideals' and 'feelings' and the dragon split into two; zekrom sided with the hippies, and reshiram sided with the reasonable adults; we were about to go to war, but the damn commies came in and reshiram had to go defeat the red menace; of course, zekrom destroyed all letters requesting he help as well, and fled to canada; he should have stayed there, but those damn team plasma hippies have brought zekrom back and it's up to YOU to do what we couldn't and defeat those damn hippies once and for all" "can we have a gym battle now" "no i'm tired i'm going to sleep" Drayden falls asleep on the spot, and Iris walks in. "as deputy gym leader, i will accept your challenge!!!" "whatever"
"YO CHAMP IN THE MAKING iris uses dragon-types" "you've done well to make it this far challenger but YOU WILL MAKE IT NO FURTHER" "drayden just said it's up to me to defeat those damn hippies; why do you stand in my way" "come on i always wanted to be the cool one who gives you your final challenge then sees you off with some words of wisdom" "fine whatever GO SAWSBUCK" "GO AXEW" Hilda's Sawsbuck has no trouble against Iris's team. "okay you got me here's your badge" "what about the words of wisdom you mentioned" "OH yeah right um let's see" Iris ponders and ponders. "remember hilda, these wise words from confucius: man who laugh last not get joke" "uh yeah thanks" "i've got more if you're interested" "oh sure, why not" "confucius say: man with hole in pocket be feeling cocky all day"

CHAPTOUR FIFTEEN:
After running her way through Victory Road, Hilda arrives at the Pokémon League. "YO CHAMP IN THE MAKING good luck" "thank you friend; your support has been invaluable to me" Hilda heads into the Elite Four chamber, and defeats Grimsley, Caitlin, Shauntal, and even the black guy no one likes. She proceeds down the elevator to the champion's chamber. "wait i just went down an elevator so i could CLIMB SOME STAIRS?! WHO DESIGNED THIS SHIT?!" Hilda trudges up the stairs, camping out for three separate nights in her ascent. Eventually, she reaches the building atop the stairs. "A HA HA HA HA mr former champion, i have defeated you utterly; now i shall tell everyone to release their pokémon as unova's new champion" "please don't" "shush; it will all be over soon" "yeah it will let's throw down you fucking autistic retard" "oh hey hilda what's up? nice light stone you've got there" "yeah yeah WHATEVER battle me faggot" "pfft no way; not until you release your dragon from that stone so we can have a battle of DRAGONS" "fine i-" "BUT FIRST a change of scenery is in order!!!" N snaps his fingers, and an entire castle rises from the ground. "THAT WAS THE STUPIDEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN" "you're just jealous of my sick house" "i can assure you, that isn't it" "whatever; come on over to my place when you're ready to battle"

CHAPTOUR SIXTEEN:
"so you've finally arrived; where's your dragon" "it's right here GO RESHIRAM" Hilda throws the light stone at the ground, but nothing happens. Hilda sighs. "just give me a minute" Hilda places her light stone on a nearby table and pulls out the hammer she'd brought. "what are you doing" "i'm cracking it open to reveal the dragon inside" "that's not how it works retard" "pfft now isn't that the pot calling the kettle black" "RESHIRAM HAS REJECTED YOU; I AM YOUR SUPERIOR; BOW TO ME" "no way fag" At hearing Hilda's response to the brazen untruth N just told, the light stone explodes with a violent light, revealing Reshiram. "oh cool catch it catch it" "fine whatever" Hilda catches Reshiram and finally gets her battle against N for all the marbles. Hilda's grass-types easily defeat N. "oh fiddlesticks i guess you're the true hero hilda" "LIKE FUCKING HELL SHE IS" Ghetsis storms into the room, cursing up a storm. "AFTER ALL THE MONEY SPENT ON THIS CASTLE, AFTER ALL THE BRAINWASHING, AFTER ALL THE SCHEMING AND THE PLOTTING, MY TRILLION-DOLLAR INVESTMENT LOSES TO A HICK FROM UNOVA?! SHE SPENT HALF HER GYM CHALLENGE NOT WEARING ANY PANTS FOR FUCK'S SAKE" "that wasn't by choice" "I AM GOING TO KILL YOU AFTER I DEFEAT YOU IN A POKéMON BATTLE" "you have a far better chance of accomplishing the former than the latter" Hilda's grass-types defeat Ghetsis as well. "well shit i guess i have no choice now but to RUN AWAY" Ghetsis gets the fuck out of there, to return in two years' time.
"hilda i'm glad i met you" "i have spent every moment since we met wishing i had never met you" "i'm sure if you follow your truth, you can make your dreams come true!!! FAREWELL!!!" N hops onto Zekrom's back and begins to fly away, but Hilda pegs a rock at his head, sending him crashing into the side of the castle. "good riddance"

NOT HALL OF FAME:
Leavanny (level 75)
Lilligant (level 75)
Maractus (level 75)
Sawsbuck (level 75)
Pansage (level 50)
Tepig (level 13)

CHAPTOUR SEVENTEEN:
"so hilda you've defeated team plasma; would you like to challenge me, the champion, and fight for the champion title?!" "wait WHAT i thought n became champion then i beat n so i should be the champion" "what? no, n never filled out the paperwork necessary to become champion; i retained the title the entire time" Hilda stares blankly at Alder. "now that i've been left alone to think for more than three seconds for the first time since starting this journey, i have decided that my dreams lie elsewhere" "oh?" "yes, i am moving to kalos" "you're moving to KALOS?! why?!" "i have this strange feeling that team plasma will make a return two years from now to have the last laugh, and i want nothing to do with that; as confucius say, man who laugh last not get joke" "but why KALOS specifically? most people choose kanto" "i want to start my own clothing line that specialises in pants; also, i'd like to become a grass-type gym leader if at all possible" "that is certainly a strange dream to have; most people settle for kalos, not aspire to it" "yeah well, anything's better than unova, trust me" "i take offense to that" "good" Hilda turns and heads to the airport, catching a flight to Kanto, the hub of the world, and travelling to many different regions to see the various grass-type Pokémon available. She ends up catching a Vileplume, a Tsareena, a Lurantis, an Appletun, and a Gourgeist in her travels, assembling an impressive grass-type line-up. She eventually arrives in Kalos, and apprentices under Ramos, the grass-type gym leader in Coumarine City. She leads a happy, quiet life in the least popular region in the world.
THE END