ALPD Azure (season 10)

EPYSODE ONE:
"chief the live feed from the crosswalk has picked up something" "show me it" Eif brings up the feed from the crosswalk. "it's just a man crossing the street" Eif points to the light, which clearly shows a red hand. "OH MY GOD" Sting picks up the dispatch phone. "I WANT ALL UNITS TO CONVERGE ON LUIGI STREET" "YES SIR" "COME ON MEN WE HAVE A JAYWALKER TO BUST"

EPYSODE TWO:
"what do you mean he got away!!!" "nobody saw him, and he didn't leave a trail" "goddammit what do i pay you for" "actually you don't really pay us-" "AND WHY WOULD I WITH PERFORMANCES LIKE THAT" "good point" "chief!!! the king is on the line" "hello" "sting i need you to apprehend this jaywalker; people are afraid to leave their homes with this maniac on the streets" "you don't have to tell me twice" Sting hangs up and turns to face Jakey. "get me spider-man" "uh spider-man is on vacation in japan" "goddammit who can you get me" "uh aquaman" "goddammit jakey"

EPYSODE THREE:
"how do you respond to the allegations that you are doing nothing to catch the notorious criminal running amok in our streets" "i refute the allegations and say that i am doing a bunch of things to catch the notorious criminal running amok in our streets" "but the allegations also say that you are a compulsive liar and would say that you are doing a bunch of things to catch the notorious criminal running amok in our streets when in fact you are not doing a bunch of things to catch the notorious criminal running amok in our streets" "i have anticipated the allegations' stubbornness and have prepared a slideshow showing past criminals that i have caught" "but just because you have caught a lot of past criminals doesn't mean you can catch the present criminal" "and just because the allegations have never been wrong before doesn't mean that they aren't wrong now" "that is the stupidest thing i have ever heard"

EPYSODE FOUR:
"chief after closing the street to all traffic for three weeks we have discovered DEOXYRIBONUCLEIC ACID" "oh shit whose deoxyribonucleic acid is it" "apparently our notorious criminal mastermind is... svart" "i should have known" Sting rounds up the squad and crashes into Svart's house. "hello" "YOU'RE UNDER ARREST" "f-for what" "jaywalking" "what i would never jaywalk" "tell it to the judge" "but-" "YOU ARE NOT VERY GOOD AT FOLLOWING DIRECTIONS" "i am so glad that we caught that horrible jaywalker" "luigi street is safe once more" "wait, luigi street? i thought you said shoe street" "goddammit jakey" Sting throws his arms in the air and storms off.

EPYSODE FIVE:
"how will we find the jaywalking menace of luigi street if there have been many people/vehicles on luigi street in the weeks since the incident" "why don't we use the time machine" "GOOD IDEA" Sting and Jakey hop into the time machine and go back in time a week to just before the Luigi Street jaywalking incident. "now we wait" "OH SHIT 25% OFF ON CREAMED CORN" "WHAT I AM SO THERE" Sting and Jakey run into Groceriez Я Us, where Taylor chews a stick of Trident sugar-free chewing gum. "WE WANT ALL OF THE CREAMED CORN" "thank you come again" Sting and Jakey load their bounty into the time machine and travel back to the present. "i am so glad we did this" Jakey stares proudly at the thousands of cans of creamed corn. "now we have enough creamed corn to last all week!!!" "well maybe not" "we should get more" "yeah good idea"

EPYSODE SIX:
"chief we have another jaywalker on luigi street" "WHAT" "it's the same guy" "goddammit" "also he is mooning us" "EVERYONE GET TO LUIGI STREET, NOT SHOE STREET, LUIGI STREET" Sting hops into his squadcar and slams his foot on the gas. Sting's squadcar shoots off like a rocket and makes it to Luigi Street before the criminal even has time to pull up his pants. "you're under arrest, luna" "How Did You Know It Was Me" "i didn't spend years in the police academy for nothing" "but chief you won your position from a school raffle" "goddammit jakey"

EPYSODE SEVEN:
"you have the right to an attorney; if you do not get one on your own, one will be assigned to you by the government" Robert Truckdriver 17 begins to make some calls. "Hello I Am On Trial For Jaywalking An- Hello? How Rude" Robert Truckdriver 17 dials another lawyer. "Hello I Am Going On Trial Tomorrow And Would Like Your Representation" "oh for what crime" "Jaywalking" The man hangs up, and Robert Truckdriver 17 sighs. "I Can't Find An Attorney" "well all of the 'free' attorneys refuse to help you so you're stuck representing yourself" Sting chucks a book of law into Robert Truckdriver 17's cell. "may god have mercy on your soul"

EPYSODE EIGHT:
"you have been charged with the harshest crime known to man; how do you plea" "Come On Jaywalking Is A Victimless Crime" "OBJECTION; WHAT ABOUT THE HARD-WORKING MEN AND WOMEN WHO HAD TO PUT UP THOSE CROSSWALK LIGHTS" "They Get Paid Either Way" "OBJECTION; IF PEOPLE DO NOT USE THESE CROSSWALK LIGHTS THE KING WILL BE FORCED TO STOP FUNDING THEM AND PUT THOSE MEN AND WOMEN OUT OF JOBS" "But One Man Not Using Crosswalks Is Not The Same As All The Men Not Using Crosswalks" "OBJECTION; IF WE MAKE AN EXCEPTION TO THE LAW FOR YOU IT HAS TO APPLY TO EVERYONE" "But If We Stop Wasting Money On Crosswalk Lights Won't We Have More Money For Schools" "OBJECTION; SCHOOLS ARE ALREADY GETTING TOO MUCH MONEY" "You've Got Me There" "i find the defendant guilty and hereby sentence him to death by electric chair" "Aw Nuts"

EPYSODE NINE:
"any last words, fiend" "I Will Die A Martyr For My Cause" "uh-huh" "Everyone Shall Remember The Name Robert Truckdriver Seventeen And Feel Fear" "who's that" "Me" "oh i didn't know" "There Are Legions Of Us; You Cannot Stop Us All" "that remains to be seen" "I Will Accomplish More In Death Than I Ever Did In Life" "oh thanks for telling me" Sting unstraps Robert Truckdriver 17 from the electric chair and throws him in solitary confinement. "What Come On That's Not Fair" "every week you will be getting injections that prolong your life in an incredibly painful fashion" "What No I Liked The Electric Chair Better" "oh well" "This Is Not The Way I Planned To Spend My Weekend"
THE END