Eif, M.D. (season 1)

EPYSODE ONE:
"doctor eif doctor eif come quick there is an emergency in the emergency room" "an emergency in the emergency room?! how... ironic" "actually it is the opposite of ironic" "you're fired" "wat" "how's THAT for ironic" "uh actually-" Eif sprints down the hall into the emergency room. "doctor eif the patient's neck is swollen and is cutting off his air thing" "this is a case of swollen hands" "hands? don't you mean glands" "SILENCE I AM THE DOCTOR HERE" "but his hands are-" "YOU'RE FIRED" "buh?" "doctor he is dead" "GODDAMMIT JAKEY THAT LIFE IS ON YOUR HANDS" "but-" "I AM CALLING THE POLICE" "wat"

EPYSODE TWO:
"doctor eif doctor eif come quick there is an emergency in the faculty lounge" "an emergency in the faculty lounge?! how... ironic" "doctor eif pls" Eif sprints down the hall into the faculty lounge. "doctor eif he is cho-" "SILENCE I MUST DETERMINE THE CAUSE OF THIS AILMENT BEFORE I CAN GIVE TREATMENT" Eif inspects Bran, who is choking on a bran muffin. "hmm i have determined that this man is a hypocondriac" "wat" "my work here is done" Eif dusts off his hands as Bran chokes to death. "dude he is clearly choking" "you're fired" "buh?" "doctor he is dead" "he's just faking" "no he really has no heartbeat or pulse" "GODDAMMIT ORANGE I AM THE DOCTOR HERE" "yes sir"

EPYSODE THREE:
"doctor eif doctor eif your patient who was in a coma for years that you said will never wake up is awake!!!" "HOW DARE HE" Eif rolls up his sleeves and stomps toward Svart's room. "hey thanks for the treatment doctor eif" "YOU ARE DISCREDITING ME AS A DOCTOR" Eif tacks Svart and stabs him repeatedly with a knife. "DOCTOR EIF WHAT ABOUT YOUR HIPPOCRATIC OATH" "I HAD MY FINGERS CROSSED" "goddammit doctor eif"
THE END