25 (season 3)

EPYSODE ONE:
"jakey the terrorists have planted a bomb in the subway station" "A BOMB" "TO THE SUBWAY STATION" A clock begins to tick as Jakey runs to the subway station. "i really should get a car" "OH THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE JAKEY THERE IS A BOMB" "A BOMB" "QUICK DEFUSE IT DEFUSE IT" "sorry but we have to wait several hours to build tension" "wat" "DO NOT QUESTION ME" "b-" "THERE IS A LOT TO BEING A GOVERNMENT AGENT AND THERE ARE RULES WE MUST FOLLOW" "how many hours do we have to wait" "well it took me half an hour to get here, so i'd say about 24.49" "but that leaves less than a minute" "HEY WHO IS THE SECRET AGENT HERE" "sigh" Jakey and Eif play poker for 24 hours. "OKAY TIME TO DEFUSE A BOMB" "A BOMB" Jakey cuts the red wire on the bomb just before the timer ticks to zero. "WELL HERE'S MY BILL" "but i just lost all my money to you in poker" "hey that's great here's my bill" Jakey hands Eif his bill and fires his hookshot at the subway's skylight, busting through to his home.

EPYSODE TWO:
"jakey terrorists have kidnapped the president" "TO THE WHITE HOUSE" "wait what" "if i had kidnapped the president i would take him to the last place anyone would expect, the white house goddamn man you're wasting my valuable 25 hours" "oh sorry jakey" A clock ticks as Jakey runs to the White House. "GIVE BACK THE PRESIDENT YOU FUCKING CUNTS" "No" "We Are Petitioning The President To Give Us The Diamonds" "help" "UNHAND PRESIDENT SVART OR ELSE" "Or Else What" "OR ELSE THIS" Jakey shoots the terrorists. "Ow" "How Did We Not See That Coming" "It Was A Great Plan To Be Fair" "You Said It Robert Truckdriver" "thanks for saving me jakey" "oh it's no problem" "however you still have twelve hours left so i'm afraid you forfeit your bonus 'save the president' pay" "goddammit"

EPYSODE THREE:
"jakey terrorists have kidnapped the terrorists" "TO THE COUNTY JAIL" A clock ticks as Jakey runs to the county jail. "UNHAND THOSE TERRORISTS OR I WILL SHOOT IN A FEW HOURS" "No Way" "Your Shooting Tricks Won't Work This Time" "We Are Wearing Bulletproof Vests" Jakey waits for several hours, then shoots the terrorists in the head. "Ow" "Damn That Jakey And His Brain" "Always Thinking Four Steps Ahead" "congratulations jakey you have earned your bonus 'save the terrorists' pay" "wooh" "unfortunately for aiding terrorists you are now sentenced to execution" "damn my hubris"
THE END