EPYSODE THREE:
"okay after live performances we have tabulated the votes; one of these three hopefuls will be leaving today; between robert truckdriver sixteen, battleship greybeard, and svart" "oh boy" "the judges still have their save which can be used to extend the season by another episode" "god forbid" "and the person who will not not be un-leaving us on this not-day will not be" Ten minutes pass. "ROBERT TRUCKDRIVER SIXTEEN" "I Am So Grateful To My Family And My Fans For Supporting Me In My Quest To Win The Million Canada Fun Bux For Unfortunate Little Orphan-Chans" "um there isn't any prize money on this show" "..." "..." "Fuck" Robert Truckdriver 16 mopes back to his seat. "AND NOW FOR MUSICAL GUESTS TO DELAY THE INEVITABLE" "hello we are the band 'fuck this shit'" "i thought we were 'who gives a shit'" "who gives a shit" "i can't believe we're still doing this shit" "goddammit jakey" "yeah fuck you jakey"
63: Canada Roads, Take Me Home - Canadian Sensation
"Jane" by Jefferson Starship, 1979 [Freedom at Point Zero]
"Good Lovin' Gone Bad" by Bad Company, 1975 [Straight Shooter]
"Roadman" by MD.45. 1998 [The Craving]
"Feeling Hot" by Coverdale/Page, 1993 [Coverdale/Page]
"Fool for the City" by Foghat, 1975 [Fool for the City]
"this shit fucking sucks guys" "word"
Encore: "Rock the Night" by Europe, 1986 [The Final Countdown]
"and we're back so the person maybe probably going home or something is..." Five hours pass. "SVART" "... fuck" "SING FOR YOUR LIFE" A quicksand pit forms around Svart. "uh i'm hot-blooded; check it and see; got a fever of a hundred and three; come on baby can you do more than dance; i'm hot-blooded i'm hot-blooded I'M HOT" Jakey presses the button under his seat, causing the quicksand to evaporate. "I'M SAVIN' YOU DOG" "THANK YOU JAKEY YOU ARE THE BEST" "i know right" "i could feel the emotion and the heat of your blood" "i loved the high note" "i loved the dance moves" "AND THAT IS IT FOR CANADIAN SENSATION FOR TONIGHT TUNE IN NEXT WEEK WHEN EVERY CONTESTANT WILL SING THE SONGS OF LADY GAGA"
THE END