Reviews Supplemental

24 May 2014: Coldplay/"Ghost Stories" (2014)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2014/05/julio-and-case-of-missing-place-by-base.html

This album came out last Tuesday. Now, before this I had listened to all of Coldplay's albums but the debut. Their last album, Mylo Xyloto, was their absolute worst. Let's see how this works out.

The second track, Magic, should have opened the album. It's just so good. It features Chris Martin actually trying to do something with his voice for once in his life.
Ink continues where Magic left off. I honestly think these two tracks exemplify Coldplay's sweet spot, musically. They don't have the punch or catchiness of Viva la Vida or whatever, but they're just so good.

The vocal effects on Midnight are just horrible. Horrible. And after that, it devolves into filler for a while.
A Sky Full of Stars is just legitimately a bad song. The lyrics are horrible and make no sense, and Chris Martin cannot hit those notes.

It's a shame Fly On is attached to O, since Fly On is pretty good and O is pretentious bullshit.
The album is supposed to end there, but I've got bonus tracks that sound like they probably should have been on the album to begin with, including the fucking title track.

The O Reprise happens so suddenly after the title track that it's kind of retarded. Also, it's still pretentious bullshit.

After the "end" before the bonus tracks, this album is a 2/5, lower than Mylo Xyloto.
After the bonus tracks, this album is... still a 2/5. It's still better for having them.

24 May 2014: David Bowie/""Heroes"" (1977)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/04/wallet-fifty-eight-by-man-of-many.html

Wallet Fifty-Eight two months in a row? Shit, dog.

"Heroes" starts with Beauty and the Beast, which sounds like something one of those really shitty new waves bands would make. It's REALLY bad. Mr. Bowie, I'm pretty sure I can, in fact, say "no" to the beauty and the beast.
Joe the Lion has some neat instruments, but the vocals are just awful. I have no clue what's going on.

The title track returns the album to the ground. It's a very good song that I'm sure you've heard before. The next two songs are good, too.
V2-Schneider is an almost-instrumental. It's actually pretty neat.

Do you remember Low? The last half of that album was pretentious instrumental drivel. "Heroes" brings that back in full force for three whole tracks of nothing but pretension. BOWIE HAS DONE IT AGAIN 5/5 10/10 MASTERPIECE GAME OF THE YEAR
If I ever have trouble sleeping, I'll put on Moss Garden. It seems to be working on me as we speak.
I'm kind of amazed. Each of these three tracks is more boring and pretentious than the last.

The album ends on The Secret Life of Arabia, which is just horrible. Good.

In a word? Horrible. Fucking Goddamn Bowie.

I knew the main lyric line to the song "Heroes" for years (I think it was on a commercial or something) but then when I went and listened to the original version, I was horrified.

So many synths, so 80s, and then it was included in Perks of Being a Wallflower so that's extra reason to dislike it.

I'd first heard a cover of it in Rock Band, so I pretty much knew what to expect. Being super-'80s doesn't bother me.

2014 May 25: Julian Lennon/"Valotte" (1984)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/03/come-with-me-to-place-where-our-fathers.html

I only thought of doing this because of Too Late for Goodbyes in GTA V. That's on this album, which was Julian's first.
Julian Lennon is, of course, John Lennon's first son. As the story goes, he was responsible for Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds and the subject of Hey Jude.
For the entire album, imagine John Lennon wrote a no-frills borderline pop/rock album in the '80s. It doesn't have any of John's lyrical traits, but it's pretty well-written.

The album opens with the title track. It's a really nice, slow song with some cool instrument parts thrown in.
Too Late for Goodbyes is just great. It's so catchy and wow.

This album is pretty good, but there's not much to talk about. It's just nice to listen to.

25 May 2014: Paul McCartney/"New" (2013)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/10/comedic-sense-of-timing-by-miming.html

Speaking of Lennon, here's McCartney.
Nearly every instrument on this album was played by McCartney. According to RYM, that is:
Paul McCartney: vocals, songwriter, executive producer, bass, guitar, glockenspiel, synthesizer, celeste, percussion, piano, drums, lap steel guitar, Moog, Mellotron, tambourine, harmonium, harpsichord, Wurlitzer, conga drums, maracas, bouzouki, keyboards, tape loops

The album opens with Save Us. It's so uptempo and the guitars sound so, like, modern. It's completely un-McCartney and I love it.
On My Way to Work is completely unremarkable, save for the guitar solo. It really saves the song.

The album proper ends on its best song, Road. It's got that feeling, you know.
Scared is one of the bonus tracks on this album. It's a sad, slow piano song that is only aided by McCartney's aging voice. I think it might be one of the man's best songs, regardless of whether he was on his own, with Wings, or even with The Beatles. Or I may just be really tired.

Every song on this album is different and sounds fresh and exciting. It is to the twenty-first century what Back to the Egg was to the 1970s.
I'm not exaggerating when I say that this is far and away the best McCartney solo album I've ever listened to, and I made it up to 1997. I didn't know it, but this is the McCartney album I've been waiting for since Wings.
I've read that this album is similar to his 2005 album, Chaos and Creation in the Backyard, so I'll be doing that later on.

I have to say, though; I'm horrible at explaining things I like, if you hadn't figured it out. That's why I say "it's just so good" and "you know" so much.

26 May 2014: Green Day/"Demolicious" (2014)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2014/04/julio-and-case-of-missing-dewritos-by.html

This album features eighteen demos of songs that eventually made their way onto Uno, Dos, and Tre. I am reviewing this with the hope that these songs were once good, but ruined by Green Day's decision to suck because they "thought it would be funny".
Aside from Oh Love and Let Yourself Go, I do not remember any of these tracks.

99 Revolutions makes me think I might be right. It's like a cross between Insomniac and 21st Century Breakdown.
Angel Blue has so much energy. I don't remember the band giving any song on the unholy trinty this much energy.

Carpe Diem just goes on and on and on and on. It's under four minutes, but feels like it's over seven.
State of Shock is the one new song on the album. I can't believe they chose shit like Kill the DJ over this. I mean, I guess it's nothing special, but IT'S BETTER THAN WHAT THEY DID PUT OUT

Let Yourself Go originally sounded like a rewrite of Joan Jett's Bad Reputation. The "don't give a damn anyway" bit really. Replacing the "damn" with "fuck" actually improves the song and makes it seem more original. Ah, fuck. Is there anything you can't do? The added distortion also works well.
Songs like Ashley and Fell for You pretty much show what Uno, Dos, and Tre were all about. The filler.

Stray Hearts takes the bassline from Touch Me. It's probably the best song on the album.
Rusty James sounds just like Viva la Gloria! from 21st Century Breakdown, but worse somehow.

Makeout Party is shit. It's just shit. I'm sure I said the same thing on whatever album it was on.
Oh Love is somehow even less interesting here. Literally the only song that's worse here than on its album.

So, like U/D/T themselves, this album could be cut in half and actually be pretty good. BUT GOTTA HAVE ALL THE FILLER

27 May 2014: Ozzy Osbourne/"Just Say Ozzy" (1990)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/03/alone-in-wilderness-by-guys-who-are.html

This is a six-song live EP, featuring everyone's favourite Ozzy guitarist, Squealy McSqueal. The most recent Ozzy album at the time was No Rest for the Wicked, so three of the songs are from that. Two are Sabbath songs, and one is from The Ultimate Sin.

Miracle Man is much better song than I had remembered. The constant squeals are kind of annoying, though.
Bloodbath in Paradise and Tattooed Dancer are also better than I'd remembered. Maybe I should give No Rest for the Wicked another listen.

Shot in the Dark is sped up from the original, and it's not a change for the better. Zakk also doesn't do very well on the song.
I never liked Sweet Leaf. This album hasn't changed that. I think it's really uninteresting, and Zakk's squeals REALLY AREN'T HELPING

The EP ends on War Pigs. I like how the drums stand out in this version. Unfortunately, Zakk decides to ruin Iommi's shit. I love Iommi's guitar-playing in that "politicians hide themselves away" part, but Zakk goes full Zakk on it. He also rushes the guitar solo, losing all of its feeling. That section after the second "oh lord yeah" that's like "do-do-do-do do-do-do-do do-do DO DO DO dodododododo" lost its intensity. In conclusion, fuck Zakk Wylde and his BULLSHIT

This EP basically exemplifies what I don't like about Zakk, but it's still pretty good. It's really a shame that all its problems can be traced to one person.

27 May 2014: Foster the People/"Torches" (2014)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2014/03/julio-and-case-of-missing-snake-by.html

Foster the People's debut was underwhelming because it was 100% "Pumped Up Kicks + others". They literally recorded an album's worth of tracks to make an album off the lead single's success. Despite this, I remember it being pretty good. So here we are.

This album makes me think. Mr. Foster's voice isn't very good, and his music is kind of uninspired. This is at its worst on Pseudologia Fantastica. His falsetto is unbearable.
A Beginning's Guide to Destroying the Moon features a rapping section that is like the Beastie Boys if they were absolutely horrible.

The best song on the album is the bonus track, Tabloid Super Junkie. It's also the longest. Who knew?

The album flashes between "boring" and "horrible", always leaving you guessing which one the next track will be, Either way, you're in for a treat.

A quote from an RYM review:
"Maybe Mark Foster should have worked on making good music instead of talking about how deep the concept is."

27 May 2014: Paul Simon/"Paul Simon" (1972)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/03/the-wrong-way-by-deleting-everything.html

I hated Bridge Over Troubled Water. My local kitchen sink radio station won't stop playing Me and Julio Down by the Schoolyard, and I really like it. So I've decided to give Mr. Simon another try.

The album opens with Mother and Child Reunion, which would be a great song if not for the women ruining it. Fuck off, women.
Duncan features really annoying flutes. Fuck off, flutes.
Everything Put Together Falls Apart is just filler. Fuck off, filler.
Run That Body Down would be much better without Mr. Simon's bad falsetto. Fuck off, falsetto.
Hobo Blues has really awful strings over it. Fuck off, strings.

So this is a "no". No more Paul Simon. Nope.

28 May 2014: Kenny Loggins/"Nightwatch" (1978)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/03/everybody-super-sonic-racing-by-archies.html

Kenny Loggins is horrible to try and get into. Literally every one of his songs I know is on a movie soundtrack and not an album. Footloose, Danger Zone, I'm Alright, I'm Free, etc. Goddammit, Loggins.
So why'd I choose this one? I... don't know. I put it on my list a week ago, and have since forgotten why. I thought it was because I'm Alright was on this album, but I was wrong.

The album opens with the title track, which is too long for its own good. Nice start, Ken.
It's kind of the album's whole deal. Nearly every track overstays its welcome by at least a minute.

Why did I choose this album? Stevie Nicks is here. I do not want her here. Please fuck off.
There's also a cover of The Doobie Brothers' What a Fool Believes. The original was in GTA V, and I absolutely hate it. This version is better, but not great.

So, this album is okay. It's just unremarkable, and the songs drag on a bit.

28 May 2014: KISS/"KISS" (1974)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/03/never-gonna-stop-by-stop-signs.html

A lot of people seem to like KISS. I never really got it, but let's see what I've been missing. I will never stop capitalising the name.

The album opens with Strutter, which was in both GH2 and San Andreas. I like it. The guitar solos are cool, and it has a nice feel going on.
Nothin' to Lose proves its own title wrong, since it loses the feel present in Strutter. The vocals are much higher, which changes the mood completely. The backing vocals also do that. I still like it, though.

Firehouse is just filler, bordering on being an actual bad song.
Let Me Know reuses the riff from Strutter. That's never a good sign. The guitar solo and the riff under it are just superb, though. Shame they fade out very quickly after they begin.

Deuce still has a sweet riff, in case you were wondering if anything happened to it.
100,000 Years is really great. The riff, the solo, the everything. The EVERYTHING The best KISS song.
Black Diamond would be much better if the last two minutes were just hacked off. The guitar solo is boring, and every thing after it is horrible.

A surprisingly good album. MUCH better than I was expecting.

29 May 2014: The Pretenders/"Pretenders" (1980)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/03/run-away-from-by-men-of-action.html

This album features both Brass in Pocket and Tattooed Love Boys. It opens with neither. Instead, Precious opens the album. It's kind of empty. It feels like it's missing something.
The Phone Call features phone noises. Not the biggest fan of phone noises.

Tattooed Love Boys is so much better than GH2 would tell you. The guitar tone and Chrissie's voice are so much better than what Wavegroup did.

Private Life is about twice as long as it should be.
Lovers Today is about the same length, and it works. Maybe The Pretenders should take notes.

The album ends on its best song, Mystery Achievement. That's how it's done.

Overall, this album was pretty good. A lot like yesterday's KISS album, honestly. Some great songs, some filler, you know.

29 May 2014: The Alan Parsons Project/"I Robot" (1977)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/03/deletion-of-facts-by-guys-who-have-all.html

PROGRESSIVE ROCK
The first and only song of Mr. Parsons's that I've heard is I Wouldn't Want to be Like You, which is on this album. I only heard it because of GTA V. Oh boy.

The album starts with a pretentious filler instrumental. What elevates it above a normal filler instrumental is the choir.
Thankfully, it's followed by I Wouldn't Want to be Like You, which wouldn't want to be like that pretentious filler instrumental. I really like this song. The vocals, the instruments, you know. The general makings of a song.

Immediately following that is flutes. Flutes are only cool when it's Jethro Tull. Aside from the flutes, it's a nice song.
Breakdown is really annoying. Really, really annoying. And the choir comes back! How pretentious!


This album is too progressive for me. Maybe we should just rename "progressive rock" to "pretentious rock" and get it over with.

29 May 2014: Free/"Fire and Water" (1970)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/03/deletion-of-practicality-by-guys.html

Also known as "the one with All Right Now on it".
Unfortunately, that is all it will be known as. There's nothing else that stands out at all. I can't even make snide comments about it.

29 May 2014: Cage the Elephant/"Cage the Elephant" (2008)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/03/hold-me-by-whatever-lies-beyond-this.html

Here's a band I've never listened to before. I'm reviewing the 2009 version of this album, which reorders the track listing.

It's kind of generic modern alternative rock shit, but I like it. I can't help but bob my head.
Ain't No Rest for the Wicked has the instruments settle into a defined rhythm and the vocals go all over the place. It creates a really neat sound for the song.

Free Love is like this crazy thing. It's like shit, dog. Shit, dog. I can't even. It's crazy, dog.

It's not original in the slightest, but it's executed very well. That's all that matters, really.

29 May 2014: Muse/"The Resistance" (2009)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/03/deletion-of-facts-by-guys-of-vermillion.html

Here it is. The big one. One of the big ones. This is an album I never listened to in full, but absolutely hated what I've heard from it. It's the follow-up to 2006's Black Holes and Revelations, which was starting down the POLITICS and BORING SONGS path.
I was going to do The Second Law, but I think I need to listen to this first. I'll probably use the word "pretentious" a lot, but that's par the course for me. Let's go.

The album opens with Uprising, which has some neat moments, but I really don't like the subject matter. It's all just stupid political shit. I like the "so come on" bits and the solo, though.
The title track is just funny. The "it could be wrong, could be wrong" backing vocals go against the subject matter SO hard. I kind of like this song because I can't take it seriously. Shame it ends on pretentious wind outro. Only Dio can get away with a minute of wind noise.

I have heard the instruments of Undisclosed Desires a million times in various mash-ups. The lyrics are silly at best, retarded at worst. I really don't like this.
The United States of Eurasia breaks the world record for pretentiousness.

Guiding Light isn't bad. I'm impressed. That's really an accomplishment for this album.
Unnatural Selection manages to remind me what I like about Muse, and not be half bad itself. Very impressed. The "droplets in the ocean" line in the chorus is stupid, though.

I Belong to You is actually really good. Like, really good. Legitimately good. Like, damn. I can't overstate this. It's actually really good. OH WAIT I STAND CORRECTED Now it's boring and pretentious IN FRENCH Nice job, Bellamy.

After this is a three-part "symphony". I predict that it will be boring and pretentious as shit.
OH HEY GUESS I WAS RIGHT
WHAT ARE THE FUCKING ODDS
MUSE HAVE BROKEN THEIR OWN WORLD RECORD
10/10 GAME OF THE YEAR

30 May 2014: KISS/"Hotter Than Hell" (1974)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/04/read-and-weep-by-carjackers.html

Sometimes, half an hour of music is what you're looking for. This album is definitely half an hour long.
When a band releases two albums in one year, it means one of two things. Either they had a lot of great material, or the record company wanted to strike while the iron was hot. This seems like the latter.

Parasite's got a pretty neat riff. It's the kind of song that the band does really well. A bit dark and dirty-sounding, but not so much that Paul Stanley's vocals sound stupid. I also really like Ace's guitar solo.
The title track and Watchin' You also have cool opening riffs. If this album makes one band member look good, it's definitely Ace.


I'm surprised. This is a bit better than the debut as a whole. It doesn't have any songs as good as 100,000 Years, but there's no filler to speak of, aside from the last track.

30 May 2014: R.E.M./"Around the Sun" (2004)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/03/digging-into-ground-by-masters-of-human.html

It's easier to leave than be left behind; leaving was never my proud.

This is the only R.E.M. album I wasn't able to review. It's a shame, too, since Leaving New York is on here.

The album opens with Leaving New York. A great start, if I do say so myself. Aside from the obvious, it's a really great song. Even if it didn't have the lyric, it would be a super-good song. The lyric just elevates it to superhuman levels.
The Outsiders features everyone's favourite rapper, Q-Tip. His part is so out of place, and he's not a very good rapper. It ruins the whole song.

The Ascent of Man shows off Stipe's upper register. I wish it hadn't.

This album is very nice. Nothing on it stands out aside from the obvious, I guess, but I like it a lot.

30 May 2014: Simple Minds/"Once Upon a Time" (1985)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/03/youre-seeing-things-in-different-by.html

So, new wave. It's a genre that I don't think I've given enough time to. I really like both the songs of Simple Minds' that I've heard. Don't You Forget About Me is on a film soundtrack, so I chose the album that has the song in GTA V, All the Things She Said.

There's really nothing to say about it, unfortunately. Probably the best new wave album I've listened to.

31 May 2014: Meat Loaf/"Dead Ringer" (1981)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/03/from-hero-to-gyro-by-zeroes.html

The follow-up to Bat Out of Hell. In four short years, Meat Loaf's voice has changed. Maybe he got caught in a time rift and aged forty years instead of four. We'll never really know. Much like his namesake, the secrets of Meat Loaf may never be revealed to us.
it was the cocaine

The album opens with Peel Out, which is trying to sound like more than it is. It's like he's already trying to hold onto what made Bat Out of Hell special and not doing a very good job. It may have most of the elements, but the songwriting is just subpar. It's also twice as long as it should be. Its forced grandiosity is kind of embarrassing.

I'm Gonna Love Her for Both of Us takes everything that made Peel Out subpar and amps it up to 11. Mr. Loaf sounds rather bored, but the song is trying so hard to be something special. It's also twice as long as it should be. I feel kind of bad for it.
More Than You Deserve hurts me. The choir is really unnecessary and detracts from the song. It's also twice as long as it should be.

I'll Kill You if You Don't Come Back is THE song of this album. It works on nearly every level. This song is SO CLOSE to being on-par with the songs from Bat Out of Hell that aren't Paradise by the Dashboard Light, but Meat Loaf's voice just isn't there.

Read 'em and Weep returns to the Meat Loaf we all know and feel sorry for. You tried and you failed. The lesson here is "don't try".
With a runtime of thirty-six seconds, Nocturnal Pleasure is about thirty-six seconds too long.

The title track, Dead Ringer for Love, features Cher. She makes me miss the chick from Paradise by the Dashboard Light. Despite this, it's definitely the second-best song on the album. Cher's voice on this gives the song an interesting feel, and she complements Meat Loaf very well.

The Assassin's Creed Theme Song is just stupid.

Like, it's not bad. It's just so overblown. If the songs were half the length and less CHOIR AND BUILDS AND EVERY SONG IS SO EPIC AND GRAND, it would be pretty good. Bat Out of Hell was lightning in a bottle, and it seems like Meat Loaf tried to catch some more. Maybe that's what happened to his voice.
Despite all this, it went by pretty quickly. I guess I was enjoying it, despite its obvious flaws.

01 Jun 2014: The Beatles/"20 Greatest Hits Europe" (1982)
I'm not abandoning these things. It's like a tradition.

This would be the best of the 20 Greatest Hits variations, but they used that FUCKING SHIT-ASS RADIO EDIT OF HEY JUDE
FUCK

01 Jun 2014: The New Pornographers/"Electric Version" (2003)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/03/mirrors-into-bedroom-by-train-sets.html

I'd call it "the one with Electric Version on it", but the title implies that already. It's not a Houses of the Holy situation.
I really liked the title track in Rock Band, so here we are. It's the only song of theirs that I've heard, naturally.

The album starts with the title track. It's about the same as it was seven years ago, which is pretty comforting. I'd be worried otherwise.
Unfortunately, nothing else sounds remotely like Electric Version. It's all kind of generic. I like the singirl's voice, though. I wish she sang more songs.

The bells ring no no no no no no no no no no
Will this song ever end? no no no no no no no no no no

01 Jun 2014: Muse/"The Second Law" (2012)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/04/coming-after-ceremony-by-money-man.html

Here we are. The Resistance II: Resist Harder.

The album opens with Supremacy, which wants to be Queen, if Queen whined about politics. I'd listen to Queen + Matt Bellamy, honestly. It would have to be better than this.
Madness has really grown on me. The wubs are kind of endearing. It's better than anything on The Resistance.

After that is Another One Bites the Dust. Steve walks warily down the street, with brim pulled way down low. It's a much better version than Queen's, honestly.
You know those short filler "intro" tracks some albums (like Absolution) have? That's the fourth track of this album.

Survival is so overblown, but it doesn't reek of pretentiousness. It's like I'm in on the joke this time.
If it weren't Matt Bellamy, I would never guess Big Freeze is a Muse song.

Both Save Me and Liquid State are sung by not-Matt Bellamy. They're just kind of... there.
The last two songs are another pretentious suite. Yay.


Matt Bellamy has gone insane, and this is the result. Their best album since Absolution.

01 Jun 2014: Meat Puppets/"Meat Puppets II" (1984)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/03/black-matrons-of-dark-by-rainbow-brights.html

Kurty loved these guys. During his MTV Unplugged set, he covered three of their songs, and all three were from this album. It seemed like an obvious choice.

The album starts with Split Myself in Two. How do I describe this? The guitars are distorted as shit, the drumming isn't relenting, and the vocals are chaotic, to say the least. It makes sense, really.
Magic Toy Missing is the kind of instrumental I like. Short and interesting.
Lost sounds kind of lethargic. Not in a good way, either.

I can tell what Kurty was going for on Plateau. He did it so much better, though. Maybe I'm a little biased.
Oh, Me is similarly inferior. Goddammit.
Lake of Fire is so fucking strange. Like, holy shit. It's not what I was expecting at all.


The first track filled me with expectations that the rest of the album didn't even try to fill. I'm really disappointed.