Reviews Supplemental

01 Jun 2014: Madonna/"Like a Prayer" (1989)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/03/no-sign-of-cardiac-arrest-by-doctors.html

I'm going to regret this. I just know it.

The album opens with the title track, which is the reason I chose this album. It's just amazing. Not even joking.
HOW DO I TALK ABOUT POP MUSIC

Love Song is really lame. I don't like the weird percussion, or Prince. I really don't like Prince. I REALLY REALLY don't like Prince. Nearly every song on this album is five minutes long, and it doesn't work for a lot of them. Especially when that song features FUCKING GODDAMN PRINCE.

Promise to Try is a nice piano ballad. It doesn't feature Prince, which is a plus.
Cherish is kind of jarring after Promise to Try. It's a very good song, though. Surprisingly good. But it's just too long.

Dear Jessie is great. I like it a lot. Like, a lot a lot.
I don't like the way Madonna is singing on Oh, Father. She doesn't sound good singing that low.

I DON'T GET IT
WHY IS MADONNA PRAYING FOR SPANISH EYES
ARE THEY SUPER-GOOD AT SEEING
I DON'T GET IT

The album ends on Act of Contrition which is like WOW GUITARS
Shame it's just filler.

Honestly, I enjoyed this album far more than I thought I would. Nothing touches the title track, though.

01 Jun 2014: Smashing Pumpkins/"Teargarden by Kaleidyscope" (2009)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/03/no-one-wants-to-be-defeated-by-yellows.html

A few years ago, The Billy Corgan Experience released a series of EPs that, when put together, made up a whole album. I reviewed the firs EP, but I just decided to say "fuck it" and do it all at once. The compilation that I'm doing features a slightly reordered track listing.

The album starts with Song for a Son, which would be great if Corgan didn't sound so lethargic. The guitar solo's really nice. Sort of reminds me of Led Zeppelin, if Jimmy Page had used retarded amounts of distortion.
Astral Planes is more Pumpkins-y. Kind of unimpressive, though.

A Stitch in Time's got a really nice rhythm. Probably the best rhythm on the album. I really like this song, actually.
Teargarden Theme is really lame filler.

The Fellowship has this REALLY ANNOYING electric shit throughout the entire song. IT'S REALLY FUCKING ANNOYING
I'M GETTING A HEADACHE

Freak sounds more Pumpkins-y. It's much better than The Fellowship in every way, especially since it doesn't have that fucking electronic shit.
Lightning Strikes might be the band's best song since Machina.

This album was honestly much better than I'd thought it would be. Aside from that GODDAMN FUCKING ELECTRONIC BULLSHIT, I had a good time.

01 Jun 2014: KISS/"Dressed to Kill" (1975)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/05/well-you-can-tell-by-way.html

I'm doing so many KISS albums because they're short and pretty good. I'll probably get through the entire KISScography this week.
This album features Rock and Roll All Nite. I'm not sure I've ever heard the studio version.

The album starts with Room Service, which has a cool guitar solo.
ROCK BOTTOM HAS TWO MINUTES OF INSTRUMENTAL FILLER BEFORE THE SONG STARTS
THE BIGGEST INSULT IS THAT THE SONG ITSELF IS VERY GOOD
FUCK YOU KISS

The album ends with the never-before-heard-by-anyone-ever studio version of Rock and Roll All Nite. It's SO MUCH BETTER THAN THE LIVE VERSION I HEAR ALL THE TIME
HOLY SHIT
Not even fucking joking. The increased tempo is great, the reduced length is perfect, and it just works so much better. It's I Want You to Want Me all over again.

This album is definitely the worst of theirs yet. It's not bad, it's just really uninspired.

02 Jun 2014: Black Sabbath/"The Eternal Idol" (1987)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/03/no-sir-by-rememberers.html

This is the first Black Sabbath album to feature Tony Martin on vocals. He's more generic than Dio or Ozzy, but that's to be expected when compared to two legends. He has a really great voice for this kind of thing. You've probably heard Kill in the Spirit World through Purple; that was Mr. Martin.
Apparently, Martin was a last-minute change, and Ray Gillen was booted out. Poor guy; didn't even get one album. There's a demo version of this with Gillen's vocals floating around, so I'll give some of that a shot afterward.

The album starts with The Shining. This song would come across as cheesy with Ozzy or Dio, but Martin sells it. He makes the 80s-ass "RISE UP" shit sound cool. Eric Singer's drumming is also very good.
Hard Life to Love and Glory Ride have fucking sweet riffs, dog. I expected no less from Iommi.

Nightmare has cheesy Satanic laughing, but somehow they make it work really well. I like Martin's "DON'T BE FOOLED BY THE DEVIL" scream just before it.
Scarlet Pimpernel is the epitome of filler instrumentals.

Lost Forever's got a pretty sweet guitar solo.
The album ends with the title track, which is darker and heavier than the rest of the album. Martin's voice kind of levels it back out, though.

One of the bonus tracks, Some Kind of Woman, has a FUCKING SWEET-ASS RIFF AND SOLO HOLY SHIT WOW

Black Sabbath in the 80s were much faster and more... 80s than they ever were with Ozzy. Not 80s as in "SYNTH AND GLOSSY-ASS PRODUCTION", but you know. Despite having a million singers, they're much more consistent. I really like this album, and 80s Sabbath in general. Ian Gillan Sabbath is the worst one, though.


NOW FOR THE GILLEN VERSION OF A SONG
... would you believe me if I said they sounded the same? Because they totally do. The change makes no sense, but I can't say it was a bad change. Good job?

02 Jun 2014: David Coverdale/"Whitesnake" (1977)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/03/delight-in-greyscale-by-winners.html

After Deep Purple, Coverdale went solo for a couple years before forming Whitesnake. Half of his second solo album ended up on Whitesnake's first album. This is his first solo album.
This album sounds a lot more like early Whitesnake than Mk. III/IV Deep Purple. This is probably because of Micky Moody.

Blindman was later re-recorded in 1980 with Jon Lord and Ian Motherfucking Paice, and was much better then.
Goldie's Place is way too long and kind of boring.

The title track is great. It's about Coverdale's penis and how he wants to let it crawl all over you.
Tuesday's Gone Peace-Lovin' Man is very nice and also 100% an original composition. Other artists need to take note. THIS is how you make a great song with the build-ups and shit and not sound pretentious. I mean, it's got a fucking saxophone. It should have closed the album.

Sunny Days does that thing I like, with how it has piano and is upbeat. The guitar's not bad, either.
Hole in the Sky is held back by Coverdale's voice. He sounds like he's crying (or drunk), which I guess goes with the "there's a tear in my eye" line, but it doesn't sound very good.

The album ends with Celebration, which has a nice riff and some neat percussion. It sounds more like a song Aerosmith would do, rather than a Whitesnake song.

This album was very good. I've never heard a bad Coverdale album, really.

02 Jun 2014: ABBA/"Arrival" (1976)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/03/going-to-place-where-i-need-to-go-to.html

Since Madonna went so well, let's ABBA. This album features the requisite "song I've heard", Dancing Queen.

Dancing Queen is just one of those songs. You know it right when it starts, and you're all ready to start having the time of your life. If ABBA were to be reduced to one song, it would be this one. I kind of wish this song wouldn't end. It should have opened the album. It should have closed the album. I think Dancing Queen ten times in a row would be a perfect album.

Every song on this album that isn't Dancing Queen is just filler. I think they should have taken my suggestion and put Dancing Queen on this album ten times in a row.

02 Jun 2014: She and Him/"Volume Three" (2013)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/05/take-it-like-man-by-make-you-understand.html

I loved their first two albums, but their Hanukkah album left a lot to be desired. Let's see how this goes.
I don't like the album cover. Rather than a cute drawing, it's a black and white photo of Zooey staring upward in wonder and Ward sneezing leftward.

The album starts off with an annoying wail. Great start. Great, great start. If you'll excuse me, I am going to get aural surgery.
The harmonies on Turn to White are just bad. Just bad.


This album sounds off. Zooey's voice is wrong somehow. It's like a lot of the songs are too low for her, and it really makes the album sound bad in a lot of places. The songs that aren't affected aren't as good as those on volumes one and two, except Together. Together is fucking sweet.

03 Jun 2014: Ozzy Osbourne/"Black Rain" (2007) revisited
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/03/keeping-it-within-federal-regulations.html

So, I own this album. I bought it when it came out for whatever reason. I really liked I Don't Wanna Stop. I know I listened to the rest, but I can't remember it at all.

This is Ozzy's last album with Zakk Wylde, before Zakk went onto Black Label Society full-time or whatever. Good riddance.

The album opens with Not Going Away, which has a neat little riff at the start. It sounds a lot darker than typical solo Ozzy, but not as dark as Black Sabbath. Ozzy's aged and probably objectively horrible at this point voice works well with the song.
So, then there's I Don't Wanna Stop. I really like it. I really, really like it. The lyrics are bad ("Are you ever going to stop?" "I don't wanna stop"), the guitar is full-on Zakk, but Goddamn if I don't love every second of it.

Lay Your World on Me is kind of cheesy. And by "kind of", I mean "completely".
Eleven Silver has a really great guitar solo. One of Zakk's best, certainly.

Here for You successfully accomplishes what Lay Your World on Me set out to do without being anywhere near as cheesy.
The bonus tracks are also great. I Can't Save You has a sweet riff.

Honestly, Ozzy's learned how to use his voice in a way that's endearing, rather than horrible. This is his best album since No More Tears. It's actually really, really good, and a very good send-off to Zakk.

03 Jun 2014: Wishbone Ash/"Argus" (1972)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/03/borderline-okay-by-decency.html

Here's an album I've been meaning to do for a while. Progressive rock and shit.

This album does that thing. Songs that are long for the sake of being long. So progressive.
I mean, I guess it's not so bad, but a lot of these songs would be better with a minute or two hacked off.

There's nothing particularly good or bad about this album. The worst kind of album to review.

03 Jun 2014: Black Sabbath/"Headless Cross" (1989)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/04/reading-letters-from-asylum-by-asylums.html

Black Sabbath's last album of the 1980s, and their second with Tony Martin. This was the first album where the songs were written for Martin.

It opens with a filler intro thing. Yay.
The title track is just so good. It's dark, it's big-sounding, and the vocals are better than anything Martin did on The Eternal Idol.

When Death Calls features Brian May. It's also the worst song on the album that isn't a filler intro thing. Yay.
So, Kill in the Spirit World. I've heard that it has the best guitar solo in the history of the instrument. It's kind of overrated, really.

The first time I heard Call of the Wild was in 2009. I was grounded for skipping school to try and be cool or whatever, and I just sat around listening to one of those satellite music channels. This song came up, and I knew I'd stumbled upon something great. The only other song I remember from that time was Jungle Love by The Steve Miller Band. So I've been looking forward to this album since Mob Rules.

Black Moon starts with one of those sweet Iommi riffs I love so much.
The album ends with Nightwing, which has the same feeling and everything as the title track. A great closer.

Headless Cross is an amazing album, and certainly better than Martin's previous effort. It's in contention for the best Sabbath album full-stop.

04 Jun 2014: Genesis/"We Can't Dance" (1991)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/03/liberation-of-fort-trof-by-fortress.html

The good news is that I now understand that Runtime Error album of Eifion's.
The only song I've heard from this album beforehand is I Can't Dance. No Son of Mine sounds familiar, though.

The album starts with No Son of Mine, which is kind of light, considering the lyrics. It lacks the intensity of other SERIOUS Phil Collins songs, like In the Air Tonight or Mama.
Jesus, He Knows Me has made me realise that I have never encountered a television evangelist. Probably for the best. It's a very well-written song, regardless.

Driving the Last Spike is ten minutes long. It starts as a slow-ass ballad-ass whatever, and then it picks up into a slow-ass boring-ass whatever. Nice job, Phil.
Since I Lost You is a touching tribute to Eric Clapton's son. Wait, did I say "touching tribute"? I meant "why are you singing about this". I think I'd like the song better if I didn't know why he wrote it.

Fading Lights closes the album. It is the epitome of songs that are ten minutes long and really shouldn't be because they are boring.


This album was so phoned in, it isn't even funny. Aside from Jesus, He Knows Me, there's nothing that stands out.

04 Jun 2014: Smashing Pumpkins/"Lull" (1991)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/04/great-walls-of-fire-by-norton-antivirus.html

A short four-track EP released shortly after Gish.

It opens with Rhinoceros, which I've never liked. It's the only song on the EP that made it onto a proper album.
Then there's Slunk. Holy shit, there's Slunk. That riff, holy shit. Those drums, holy shit. That Corgan, holy shit. I wouldn't be exaggerating by saying this might be the band's best song.

Blue and Bye June are both every good, but don't have anything to really talk about.


This EP would be much better if Rhinoceros were replaced by a good song from Gish, but the new tracks more than make up for it.

04 Jun 2014: Dire Straits/"Brothers in Arms" (1985)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/03/post-post-grunge-by-fries.html

This is the one with Money for Nothing and Walk of Life.

The album starts with So Far Away, which is such horrible filler that it's insulting. Knopfler sounds so fucking bored. Even more than usual.

Then there's Money for Nothing, which starts with Sting wanting his MTV. He wants it for a bit too long. He should have said it once and gotten on with the song. There's literally over a minute of nothing but Sting saying "I want my MTV". I thought the fucking radio edit dragged on for too long, Jesus Christ.
Like, I like the song. Or, rather, I want to. The riff is cool, the lyrics are great, the "I want my MTV" line is great the first few times, but FUCK. IT'S OVER TWICE AS LONG AS IT SHOULD BE. The pretentious-ass Sting intro, the coda that never ends, holy shit.
Open with that riff; that cuts out two minutes. That gives you the radio edit. Fade out about a minute-and-a-half sooner, BAM. Great song, money for nothing, chicks for free.

Walk of Life was in Rock Band 3. TALK ABOUT A FUCKING SNOOZE-FEST. It's nowhere near as bad in a listening context (I like the keys part a lot), but fuck, Harmonix. Get it together.
This is followed by a shitload of minutes of nothing but boredom. I honestly lost count. Why Worry is such a filler track that I honestly don't think the word "filler" can convey it. HOLY FUCK THERE'S STILL TWO MORE MINUTES OF IT
I'M PRETTY SURE TIME IS GOING BACKWARDS RIGHT NOW

One World tries hard to bring the mood up and be funky and whatever. It's a lot better than the fifty songs between it and Walk of Life, but that isn't saying much.
The title track brings up right back down to THE SINGLE MOST BORING SONG ON THE ALBUM
AND, HOLY FUCKING SHIT, THAT IS DEFINITELY SAYING SOMETHING
THE BIGGEST FUCKING ACCOMPLISHMENT ANY SONG HAS EVER MANAGED


It's a miracle I didn't fall asleep during this. Fuck you, Mark Knopfler.

04 Jun 2014: Ozzy Osbourne/"Scream" (2010)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/04/revenge-isnt-very-sweet-by-gaggles.html

Ozzy's latest album and the follow-up to the excellent Black Rain. Before yesterday, I never thought I'd type those words in that order non-sarcastically.
Zakk is gone, and has been replaced by Gus. Randy, Brad, Jake, Zakk, and Gus. An all-star line-up to be sure.

The album starts with not a cover of Foo Fighters' Let it Die. I really don't like the effects on Ozzy's voice.
The pseudo-title track, Let Me Hear You Scream, also features that damn fucking bullshit effect. It makes Ozzy sound like he has fucking throat cancer.

IN FACT IT'S ON HIS VOICE FOR THE ENTIRE GODDAMN ALBUM
NICE
WOOH
YAY
ALBUM OF THE YEAR

Okay, maybe not. Diggin' Me Down sounds normal, and it's a good song. Gus's guitar-playing sounds like Zakk, but without the annoying squeals. 10/10 best new guitarist
Maybe it was only the first three tracks. Crucify also sounds normal. hope restored don't waste this chance ozzy

Time is the album's requisite cheesy song. It's like a wheel of whole cheddar.
Latimer's Mercy brings back the effects in full force. Just what I wanted, truly.

OH JESUS
I LOVE YOU ALL IS SO GODDAMN CHEESY
THANK CHRIST I'M NOT LACTOSE-INTOLERANT


This album is kind of generic, with none of Black Rain's charm. Ozzy's done worse, though.

04 Jun 2014: Drake Bell/"Telegraph" (2005)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/04/lingering-doubt-by-roughians.html

This album features the theme from Drake and Josh, Found a Way. Drake and Josh reunion when

The album starts with one of those pretentious instrumental intro tracks BUT IT'S ACTUALLY PRETTY GOOD
DRAKE BELL IS THE BEST GUY

Found a Way is the I'll be There for You of the 21st century. It's a fucking classic, and you can't say otherwise. Well, you can say it, but you'll be wrong.
Circles has some really neat sounds going on. I'm glad, because otherwise the song wouldn't be memorable at all. Now I can say "oh yeah the song with the neat sounds".

Don't Preach features Drake's Scott Stapp impression. It could use some work. Seriously, there's an STP song that this sounds like that I can't place at all, and it's really bugging me.
The Backhouse was likely the best twenty seconds of my life.


The album never reaches the heights of Found a Way, but if it did, I'd likely be dead. I enjoyed this, and refuse to give it less than a 4/5.

05 Jun 2014: Living Colour/"Vivid" (1988)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/04/scheduling-these-things-in-case-of.html

During the first round of reviews, I'd been wanting to do this one, but could never find a download for it. NO MORE

The album opens with Cult of Personality. We all know about that solo, that riff, that everything. It's just a great song, and I'm glad it was in San Andreas and Rock Band Blitz.
I Want to Know sounds like a song a boy band would do, but with ROCK VOCALS AND GUITARS

Middle Man's opening riff is sweet as hell.
Open Letter to a Landlord starts off like it's going to be really stupid and pretentious but FUCKING HELL IT'S FUCKING AWESOME

Funny Vibe has another sweet-ass riff. How many does Vernon Reid have? Shame it's the worst song on the album.
What's Your Favourite Colour? is apparently the Living Colour theme song. It's pretty fun, but Corey managed to guess wrong every single time.

This album was really great. A great debut by a band with only one song.

05 Jun 2014: Stone Sour/"House of Gold and Bones Part Two" (2013)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/04/hey-hey-raging-hey-by-horses.html

The second part of Stone Sour's album/comic book/McDonald's toy series. The first album was fucking great, so here we are.
I'm not sure how I feel about two-part albums. Double albums are generally shit, but spacing out the two discs gives time to make the second actually good, in theory. Green Day didn't exactly instil me with much confidence.

Red City features the most Slipknot-style vocal in a Stone Sour song. I was wondering when it would happen, really.
I really like the solo of Peckinpah. Jim Root strikes again.

Like, it's a Stone Sour album. If you've heard one, you know what to expect. Probably the album of the year, 2013.

05 Jun 2014: Jimi Hendrix/"Valleys of Neptune" (2010)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/04/hanging-by-thread-by-two-threads.html

The fiftieth posthumous Hendrix album.

It begins with a significantly funkier live version of Stone Free. It might be better than the original.
The title track sounds a lot like other posthumous Hendrix songs, like Night Bird Flying.

Mr. Bad Luck is my favourite kind of Hendrix song. It's very fun.
The Sunshine of Your Love jam is pretty sweet. Clapton would never jam this hard.

Red House has been turned into a children's lullaby. Excuse me while I fall asleep.
The last two songs were obviously unfinished.

This is pretty good, but nothing groundbreaking.

Haven't been around lately, here's my thoughts:

Argus is a pretty fun and neat album. the song styles and tone of the album reminded me a lot of that Caravan album about girls growing plump. The final song is super great, it's a bit of a growing album.

also, I remember really loving the version of Fire on valleys of neptune. extended solo section similar to the woodstock version and nice harmony vocals iirc. idk i got it on the day it came out but haven't listened to it in ages, i'll have to change that.

06 Jun 2014: Cage the Elephant/"Thank You, Happy Birthday" (2011)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/04/i-cant-believe-how-awful-this-drought.html

After a successful debut, Cage the Elephant released this.

The opening track of an album is supposed to set the tone for the entire album. This album's opening track makes me hope they decided to forgo that.
Rubber Ball is such complete and utter filler that I can't even.


This album doesn't seem to have anything I liked from the first album. On that album, the rhythm of everything was hypnotic and infectious, and I really liked the way the vocals did whatever they wanted rather than just follow everything else. It's just kind of boring now.
Nice job.

07 Jun 2014: Tenacious D/"The Pick of Destiny" (2006)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/04/for-handle-by-handling-hazardous.html

I was waiting to do this album until I saw the movie, but fuck it. I listened to the debut before watching the TV series (which was pretty great actually), and hopefully I'll be inspired to watch the movie afterward. I've heard most of the songs anyway.
This album and movie is autobiographical, showcasing JB running away from his home to L.A., meeting KG, and going after the titular Pick of Destiny.

The first track is Kickapoo, which features JB's father, Meat Loaf, as himself, and Dio, as himself. Meat Loaf is especially great on this song.
Classico is fucking sweet. It's just JB JBing over Mozart, Bach, and Beethoven. Great shit.

History is a 100% accurate retelling of the history of The D. Not much more to be said. The ending is especially great.
The Government Totally Sucks is a 100% true list of complaints about the US government (which totally sucks (the government, not the song)).

Master Exploder was in Rock Band 2. A great choice, yes. The singer needing a microphone during it was totally bogus, though. also i've heard that version so much that actually hearing the "fuckin'"s sounds very strange but KG's "fuckin'" is the best part of the entire song

Papagenu is filler, strategically placed to lower your expectations for fucking DUDE I TOTALLY MISS YOU. oh wait that's filler too BUT THAT IS JUST LOWERING YOUR EXPECTATIONS FOR FUCKING BREAK-IN CITY WHICH TOTALLY ISN'T FILLER

Car Chase City is not only alliterative (displaying the genius of The D), but that riff is fucking sweet dog.
Beelzeboss is a big rock-off between Dave Grohl (as himself) and The D. A battle for KG's soul and the rent money. The D naturally blows fucking doors down.

P.O.D. is the victory lap. And what a lap. The song would be the Citizen Kane of music if Citizen Kane weren't so inferior. Unfortunately, it doesn't end there.
FUCK THE METAL. It's NOT a good song. It was the first song of theirs I heard, in Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock, and GODDAMN it tainted my view of the band.

Aside from that, it's a great time. Highly recommended.

08 Jun 2014: Anthrax/"Spreading the Disease" (1985)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/04/yesterdays-meals-today-by-brook-men.html

I don't really like Anthrax, let me make this clear. But, fucking shit dog. Let's see if we can change that.
Anthrax Guy's voice is so cheesy and 80s that it makes the already cheesy lyrics seem like a Goddamn cheese factory.

The album begins with A.I.R., which is really cheesy. "Welcome to your nightmare; just can't walk away".
The second track is Lone Justice, which is really cheesy. "Justice, law, and order; and you'll pay the highest fee".

Third is Madhouse, which is really cheesy. It should have opened the album; at least it's cheesy in a nostalgic way. "It's a madhouse, or so they claim; it's a madhouse, oh, am I insane?".
Fourth is Stand or Fall, which is really cheesy. "I'll never find an answer, but I'll still stand my ground".

Fifth is The Enemy, which is really cheesy. "Scars so deep they never mend".
Like, every song is so cheesy that it's not even worth it.


If I had to rate this album, I'd say it's not my thing. I don't really like cheese, except that fucking amazing cheddar they have at Bonanza Steakhouse. I don't know where they get it, but it is 100% the best-tasting cheese I have ever eaten.

08 Jun 2014: KISS/"Destroyer" (1976)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/06/hold-my-hand-and-never-let-go-guys-by.html

I thought I'd follow something incredibly cheesy with KISS. Take that, lactose intolerants.
KISS's fourth album. I'm just whipping through these.

I never knew that Detroit Rock City started with a cheesy as shit fake news report. The first minute-and-a-half of the song is filler. It's stupid and KISS should feel ashamed. I never liked the song much anyway. It was especially painful in Rock Band.
God of Thunder was in THUG. It's stupid, it's cheesy, it's nostalgic as shit.

Great Expectations is really cheesy, but in an endearing way.
Flaming Youth is the standard "PARENTS JUST DON'T GET IT" song sung by grown-ass men. It's better than any of Twisted Sister's attempts, honestly.

Shout it Out Loud is hella gay. Mad gay.
Beth is great. Even better since I know it's made by the same people who brought us Lick it Up.

The album ends on a track of, uh, static. Nice job.

Very disappointing. Or should I say KISSappointing. HAHA

26 Jun 2014: Pearl Jam/"Merkinball" (1995)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/04/i-really-wish-people-would-read-thing.html

A two-song EP by Pearl Jam, released right after the trinity. Generally, we'd call something with two songs a "single". BUT FUCK IT
These two songs were recorded with Neil Young for an album of his, but they were cut from the album. If I hadn't read that Neil Young was involved, I would not have known.

The first of the two songs is I've Got Shit. Vedder mumbles his way through this song like his life depended on it. If Vedder's vocals were a bit more clear, it would probably be great. Shame about that.
Long Road is a lot better, but still just "pretty good". Neil Young really dragged Pearl Jam down, I guess.

So, like, this is good. It's good. But I really expect more from Pearl Jam, especially Pearl Jam in 1995.

26 Jun 2014: Toto/"Toto" (1978)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/04/this-is-getting-to-be-by-be-ers.html

So, you're a brand new band, creating your first album. Naturally, you decide to come out of the gate strong with a filler instrumental, and put the lead single near the end of the album. Naturally.

Naturally, the second track of your album should be called something punchy and memorable. I'll Supply the Love, perfect. Holy shit, that title and the associated lyric (naturally in the chorus) just ruin the entire song. Is the line "you supply the knife, I'll supply the love", or am I just hearing it wrong? Oh, it's "you supply the night, I'll supply the love". I'm glad it just makes no sense whatsofuckingever rather than being really creepy.

I'm at the third track now. I wish I hadn't done this album at night. I'm afraid I might fall asleep.
Girl Goodbye sounds like it could be good, but it just feels so long and empty.

So, after eight filler tracks, we've arrived at where we need to be. Motherfucking HOLD THE LINE. It may be a day late and a dollar short, but love isn't always on time. If the album ended here, I could be happy. I'd have a smile on my face and I'd give the album a 1/5.
BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE
Hold the Line is followed by the single most pretentious filler track in the history of pretentious filler tracks. It's insulting. 0.5/5.


A lot of albums get flak for being "too 80s". Well, this album is too 70s. If you've ever wondered what that would be, listen to this album.