Valentine's Day Special 2019

VALENTINE'S DAY SPECIAL AND SHIT:
"TAYLOR ARE YOU READY TO ROCK AND ALSO ROLL" "uh usually i am but today i had plans" "oh come on man; it's february 14th" "indeed it is; that is why i already had plans" "oh you got tickets too?" "what" "oh god don't tell me that you forgot today was van halentine's day" "what" "come on man we're bros we gotta do this" "just ask jakey to go instead" "i would but he refuses to go see van halen until they bring back sammy hagar" "yeah that does sound like him" "so please come on these tickets were expensive" "i don't doubt it but i've got a hot date tonight" "well then you leave me no choice" Sheriff Antony pulls out a glimmering pair of handcuffs, and slaps them onto Taylor's wrists. "come on man why couldn't you cuff jakey instead" "his refusal to go is a moral objection; yours is just flaking out on your bro" "it's valentine's day!!! it's practically NATIONAL flaking out on your bro day!!!" "women don't appreciate van halen" Taylor attempts to slap himself in the face, but the handcuffs won't let him move his arms in that direction. "listen i didn't want to tell you this but i really just don't want to go because i can't bear to see van halen without gary cherone" "..." "..." Sheriff Antony backs away slowly, leaving Taylor handcuffed. "well i've never driven with my hands cuffed behind my back before but i suppose there is a first time for everything"
"man am i glad taylor didn't want to come" Sheriff Antony sprawls across the two seats, and puts up his feet, as he snacks on a bowl of brown M&Ms he'd found outside.
THE END