ranking all six Star Wars movies

i rewatched all six Star Wars movies over the last week
it was fun but now it's time to not watch them for another fifteen years

i am going to rank these six movies from worst to best and everyone is going to hate me for it


#6 - I: The Phantom Menace
this one's kind of obvious, but, honestly, i liked this movie overall
the gungans are awful and need to be removed
Darth Maul is such a bland, undeveloped villain that gets a pass because "double lightsaber" and people like his design for some reason
but i liked Qui-Gon and the whole Tattooine segment
i liked the idea of the beaurocracy
i honestly liked most of the movie


#5 - V: The Empire Strikes Back
HEAR ME OUT
HEAR ME OUT
this entire movie rides on Cloud City
yes, Han getting frozen in carbonite and the duel against Vader and learning that Vader is Luke's father - that's all GREAT
everything else isn't
Hoth exists; it's a big battle for the sake of it
then Luke goes to Dagobah and while Yoda is entertaining here, it is, in the end, just a training segment
everyone else meanwhile is on an asteroid just killing time
this movie really feels like the middle movie of the trilogy, where just one thing happens
the prequel trilogy avoids this by having the first two movies both feel like the first movie of the trilogy in terms of structure


#4 - II: Attack of the Clones
Anakin's awkward attempts to flirt with Padme make total sense; he's an awkward teenager who doesn't interact with girls
this movie has a lot of great moments that all feel like they specifically lead up to the ending, unlike Empire
the chase across Coruscant, the Kamino labs, all leading up to the big battle at Geonosis
Count Dooku is a great villain, and it's a shame he gets so little screentime in the movies themselves
i also liked the background details that flesh out the world a bit; the death sticks salesman, Dex's Diner, you know


#3 - IV: A New Hope
the movie that introduced the world to Star Wars
it's got a lot going for it, but the beginning does feel very slow
everything from when they get to Mos Eisley on is gold, though


#2 - VI: Return of the Jedi
RotJ is a great movie, and caps off the series incredibly well
everything here feels like it needs to be here
most importantly: they gave everyone something to do during the finale
every single (living) character seems important at the end
some people hate the ewoks, but i don't really get it; they're fine
basically, the whole series hinges on the "Vader saves Luke at the end" part, but it's a REALLY FUCKING GOOD PART
i also really enjoy Jabba's palace


#1 - III: Revenge of the Sith
i thought and thought and i ended up here
i just love this movie
the opening on Count Dooku's ship is perfect
Obi-Wan's battle against Grievous is great
Anakin killing Mace Windu works well for his turn (a confused and scared man just needed someone to trust him)
and the fight at the end on Mustafar 10/10
the entire series is built on the "blue vs red/good vs evil" colour psychology, but at the end here, we have blue vs blue; two men who believe themselves to be the good one
having them fight on a volcanic planet was perfect not just so Anakin would get FUCKED UP, but because of the colour balance
yes, there are meme lines at the end ("from my point of view, the jedi are evil" / "it's over Anakin; i have the high ground")
that just makes it better
the Yoda vs the Emperor fight was kind of underwhelming i suppose


so yeah that's my list
i may be the only person on earth with my list in this order

Amazing ranking