I didn't finish this movie. Half an hour before it ended, it went full retard, so I stopped watching and read the Wikipedia page. I didn't miss anything.
For the first hour and forty-five minutes, Solo is a good movie. There are some grievances with civil rights robot, interracial relationships, etc., but whatever. They're background noise, and the offenders die pretty quickly.
Solo has interesting interpretations of how he met Chewbacca and Lando, and more or less everything up until the refinery world was enjoyable. It wasn't a story that needed to be told, but whatever. Money needed to be made.
Han spends most of the movie doing crime for obvious crime boss, but it's okay because his ragtag group emancipates some slaves. Most of them probably died in the firefight, but it's okay because they died free or whatever. Freeing the slaves seemed incidental to the plan, anyway.
So they make it out of certain death with their fat loot, and go to refine their space oil. Some bandits from the beginning of the movie (that you'd already forgotten about) show up, and it looks like there's going to be a Mexican standoff. However, the leader of the bandits takes off her helmet to reveal some kind of human/fish hybrid, and explains that they're actually a ragtag group of diverse oppressed peoples trying to stop the bad guys. Despite claiming to be an outlaw not two minutes prior, Han Solo takes pity on these poor oppressed minorities and joins their cause. I don't know how he and Princess Leia had a kid when he clearly doesn't have any form of testicle on his body.
Why did they feel this movie needed this? Why does Han Solo need a "he's actually a hero!!!" arc before his "he's actually a hero!!!" arc in the original trilogy? Why did there have to be a complete tone and objective bait-and-switch right at the end of the movie?
New ending:
Fishface and her goons stop appearing in the movie after snow world, because they don't need to be anything other than a one-time foil to set up the real crime.
They sell the space oil to the criminal man, and Woody Harrelson pats Han on the shoulder and leaves forever. Han and love interest share a final exchange as she goes back to being a sex slave or whatever. The audience never got invested because everyone knows they can't end up together.
Han gives Lando his share, then they play the not-poker game for the Millennium Falcon. The end
Movies don't need to be more than two hours long. Anything over that is just masturbatory.
Not every story needs a good guy, and not every story needs a real bad guy. Just like in real life.
Also, you don't need to revive Darth Maul you fucking hacks
- Spoiler:
OT > Prequels >>>>> Rogue One >>> Solo >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> The Last Jedi > The Force Awakens