Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] [Remaster] IV [Alternate Campaign]

CHAPTOUR ONE:
"hiiiiiiiiii!!! i'm rachellll!!! and i have just turned ten years old!!! you know what that means!!! it is time for me to receive my first Pokémon!!!" "rachel who are you talking to back there" Rachel hides her webcam behind her back. "uh!!! this friendly cricket!!! he is teaching me about how to be a good person!!!" "well we are here!!! now run along and receive your first Pokémon you little rascal" "yaaaay" Piper waves her daughter away as Rachel runs along to Professor Wonderboom's lab. "hiiii!!! i am new in town and also ten years old!!! can i please have a Pokémon!!!" "well i promised that i'd give one to my grandson first but aw what the hell; take whichever one you'd like" "yayyyy!!!" Rachel runs over to the Pokémon table and grabs a Pokéorb, releasing her very first Pokémon, Blarshbabble. "BLARSH" "oh my GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD it is so amazing!!! thank you!!! professor wonderboom!!!" "GRAMPS HOW COULD YOU" Crimson Wonderboom storms over to the Pokémon table and grabs his Pokéorb. "GO FARFIGNUGLETRON; DECIMATE HER BLARSHBABBLE" Farfignugletron escapes the Pokéorb, and defeats Blarshbabble in one swift slice. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" "pssh nothing personnel kid" "NUGLE" Crimson Wonderboom recalls Farfignugletron and heads for the next town. "i... i just wanted to be the very best... like no one ever was" A single tear streams down Rachel's face as she stares at Blarshbabble's unconcious body. As Rachel lay beside her fallen Pokémon, ages pass. Crimson Wonderboom becomes Pokémon Champion. Professor Wonderboom retires and is replaced by A HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHT
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip Super Ultra Street Fighter III: Third Strike Gold Edition Turbo HD Remix Director's Cut: Game of the Year Edition. "so like" "yeah?" "what now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "but i already have them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was mean" "OKAY" Jakey runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of electricity. Electricity shoots from Jakey's left hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job jakey" "yeah you're pretty cool" "you mean it?!" "no" "fuck"

CHAPTOUR TWO:
"okay team you guys need to claire something up for me" "don't you mean clear something up for you" Claire stares holds through Junior Vice President Brooke. "s-sorry go ahead" "WHY IN THE WORLD have we not created a new, revolutionary food product yet!!!" "the alabamanian government banned revolutionary products after the incident with that jakey guy and his 'automatic pillow-fluffer'" "never before have i seen such carnage; and never again should the world have to-" "yeah yeah whatever we need SOMETHING or we're going to go out of business" "how about we just take spaghetti-os but instead of calling it 'spaghetti-os' we call it 'circular pasta product in red sauce'" "..." "..." The whole room begins to slowly clap. Soon, the room is full of nothing but thunderous applause. Amber is given a raise and promotion, becoming the company's first-ever Senior Vice President. However, this doesn't make Junior Vice President Brooke happy in the slightest. As she gets passed up for more and more awards and promotions, she begins to hatch a plan to have Senior Vice President Amber executed by A HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHT
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip Command and Conquer: Renegade. "so like" "yeah?" "what now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "but i already have them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was mean" "OKAY" Bran runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of ice. Ice shoots from Bran's left hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job bran" "yeah you're pretty cool" "you mean it?!" "no" "fuck"

CHAPTOUR THREE:
"yo dog you been in the gang for a long time and i'd like to share with you our biggest secret" "luckily for us all, i am currently working on resisting selfishness so sharing will be no problem at all" Big Noodle leads Resistance Leadour to an underground garage. "here it is dog" Resistance Leadour sweats, as the secret is apparently a large tarp, and she is currently practicing resisting tarp-related activities. Big Noodle removes the tarp, but Resistance Leadour's eyes stay shut as she shakes in place. "here it is" "no no more tarps" "ressie dog that is not the biggest secret" "how can you be more secret than a tarp" "well-" "OH MY GOD YOU'VE GOT TWO TARPS HAVEN'T YOU" Resistance Leadour runs out of the underground garage, screaming in complete terror as the idea of failing to properly resist slams into her consciousness. "what's her problem" "i guess she's lactose intolerant" Big Noodle enjoys a delicious ice cream from the stolen ice cream truck with the rest of THE FIFTH STREET HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHTS
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip Roulette. "so like" "yeah?" "what now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "but i already have them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was mean" "OKAY" Taylor runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of wind. Wind shoots from Taylor's left hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job taylor" "yeah you're pretty cool" "you mean it?!" "no" "fuck"

CHAPTOUR FOUR:
"hello i would like to buy a coff-" Candice looks around the room, startled. "uh why is everyone here brown" "our benevolent leader has decreed that starbucks will only hire migrant workers to spite the president because he voted for the other guy" Candice's eye twitches as the thought of thousands of legal, natural Alabamanian citizens being denied work because someone's feelings were hurt rushes through her head. Candice calmly leaves the Starbucks and hops into her bulldozer, slamming it full-speed into the side of the Starbucks and driving it into the ocean. "so uh what's going on here miss" "oh hey sheriff antony i just thwarted an attempt to destroy our economy and the livelihoods of many hard-working alabamanians" "oh wow keep up the good work citizen" "yes sir!!!" Candice salutes Sheriff Antony as he walks off. Just then, from the wreckage of the sunken Starbucks crawls A HARLEQUIN FOETUS CUSTOMER
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip Splashdown. "so like" "yeah?" "what now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "but i already have them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was mean" "OKAY" Eif runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of fire. Fire shoots from Eif's left hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job eif" "yeah you're pretty cool" "you mean it?!" "no" "fuck"

CHAPTOUR FIVE:
"madam there is a peasant revolt outside" "a revolt?! but they didn't even volt the first time" "oh they did but it was the daytime so you weren't present" "oh they are clever aren't they" "the peasants are petitioning for better treatment of peasants" "let me handle this frederickington" Gwendolyn exits onto the royal balcony. "PEASANTS I HAVE HEARD YOUR PLEAS AND I HAVE DECIDED TO GRANT YOUR REQUEST BY GIVING YOU FREE MONEY, INDIVIDUALLY, IN MY OFFICE" "yayyyyyyyyyy" The peasants eagerly line up to receive their money, and are allowed, one at a time, into Gwendolyn's office. Inside, she sits them each down and bites into their neck like a fresh apple, draining the delicious, life-sustaining blood from their veins, then throwing the carcass out the window. Partially into the line, she begins bottling the blood to drink later, as it will be hard to come by once all the peasants are dead. Eventually, every peasant is drained of their blood, and thrown into the cobblestone streets. "any other business, frederickington" "yes, you are wanted to settle a land dispute between sir fredericksworth and A HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHT"
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip NASCAR Rumble. "so like" "yeah?" "what now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "but i already have them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was mean" "OKAY" Tony runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of earth. Earth shoots from Tony's left hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job tony" "yeah you're pretty cool" "you mean it?!" "no" "fuck"

CHAPTOUR SIX:
"i challenge you to a race" "ooh that wasn't smart" "i-it wasn't?" "of course not" "w-why not" "because i am the raciest motherfucker in the land" Azalea holds up her Olympic gold medals. "those are made of plastic and are also for volleyball not racing" "that does not make my claim any less valid" "then put your money where your mouth is and let's go this shit" Olivia leads Azalea over to the starting line. "first to the shack at the top of the hill wins" "sounds fair" Yuko walks over with a racing flag. "on your mark get set / be ready to race quite soon / for now you can GO" Olivia rockets off from the start line, while Azalea hangs back and yawns. While Yuko is distracted by a passing butterfly, Azalea hops into her time machine and travels back in time five minutes. She then walks over to the shack at a leisurely pace and leans up against it. Soon, Olivia comes up and sees that Azalea made it up there first. "WHAT HOW DID-YOU NEVER EVEN PASSED ME" "i did you just didn't see it because i was moving too fast" "dammit" Olivia kicks at the ground, striking A HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHT
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip Fire Emblem: Rekka no Ken. "so like" "yeah?" "what now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "but i already have them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was mean" "OKAY" Michelle runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of light. Light shoots from Michelle's right hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job michelle" "yeah you're pretty cool" "you mean it?!" "no" "fuck"

CHAPTOUR SEVEN:
"PRISONERS TO THE YARD FOR ROCK DUTY" "oh man this is what i was born to do" Sophia grabs her gun, Mr. Shooty, and plays a mean air guitar lick on him. "prisoner 504814 please put down prisoner 504815" Sophia complies, and a truckload of rocks rains down onto the dirt. "PRISONERS YOU ARE TO BREAK THESE ROCKS WITH THOSE PICKAXES" "..." "..." "that wasn't what i'd thought of when you said rock duty" "this is prison, not rock n roll summer camp" "that exists?! ooh ooh can we go there next?!" "..." "..." "just get to work" "yes sir!!!" Sophia lies down on her stomach, studying the composition and density of the rocks to better understand the optimal technique to break them. "hmm okay mr. shooty let's tag-team these motherfuckers" Sophia grabs Mr. Shooty and leaps off of the back wall, raining lead down onto the rocks in the yard. The rocks split open, and the job is complete in record time. "all right!!! time to hit that rock n roll summer camp!!!" "let's roll" Sophia and Mr. Shooty are released from their irons and loaded onto a big truck. Bailey drives them over to Rock 'n' Roll Summer Camp, where their Rock 'n' Roll Councilor, Julia, is playing a monstrous solo. Screams are heard, as Julia melts the face of A HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHT
"yeah no; for one thing, it's winter" "oh" Sophia looks downward, disappointed. "for two thing, you're now on license plate duty with A HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHT"
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip Yemen Roulette. "so like" "yeah?" "what now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "but i already have them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was mean" "OKAY" Amiee :3 runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of pastry. Pastry shoots from Amiee :3's right hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job amiee :3" "yeah you're pretty cool" "you mean it?!" "no" "fuck"

CHAPTOUR EIGHT:
"WELCOME TO THE FIRST ANNUAL SURFBOARDING COMPETITION, ONE OF ALABAMA BAY'S PROUDEST TRADITIONS" "i am going to win the surfboarding competition" "pfft fat chance; i bought the judges' loyalty with money because i am rich" "wait who's rich" "this black guy" "a rich black person?!" "is he a basketball player" "or a drug dealer" "or a drug-dealing basketball player" "sorry what were you just talking about i was busy casting a spell on the judges so that they will award me the uh award" "hey no fair" "yeah bribery is one thing but magic?! we can't compete with that!!!" "ho well better luck next time" The Great Cheryl conjures a surfboard and heads out to the surfing arena. "HERE THEY ARE AT THE STARTING GATE BOB" "RIGHT YOU ARE BOB; THE WHISTLE IS BLOWN AND THEY ARE OFF" "THERE GOES A BLACK GUY, CATCHING A HUGE WAVE" "BUT THERE'S THE GREAT CHERYL, JUST DOING CARD TRICKS ON A SURFBOARD" "is this your card?" "uh no my card was the three of hearts" "was it really?" "yeah i-" King Bran looks down at his card, which has magically changed to the five of diamonds to match The Great Cheryl's. "holy shit" "ooh ooh do me next" "okay" The Great Cheryl draws another card. "is this your card?" "i don't have a card yet" "oh really? that's weird; check your pockets" Emelyn fishes around in her pockets and pulls out an eight of clubs to match The Great Cheryl's. "how in the world-" "THANK YOU" The Great Cheryl bows for the crowd, who was transfixed on her rather than the actual surfers. "WELL THE JUDGES HAVE REACHED A UNANIMOUS DECISION; THE GREAT CHERYL WINS THE SURFBOARDING COMPETITION" "AND WHAT A WIN IT WAS BOB" "RIGHT YOU ARE BOB; NOW DOWN TO KATHY WITH ONE OF THE LOSERS" "thanks bob and steve; i am here with a sad loser; hey loser how does it feel to lose" "feels bad man" "well there you have it; for bob and steve i wish you goodbye forever, this has been kathy, standing next to A HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHT"
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip Hungry Hungry Hippos. "so like" "yeah?" "what now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "but i already have them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was mean" "OKAY" Sheriff Antony runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of imagination. Imagination shoots from Sheriff Antony's left hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job sheriff antony" "yeah you're pretty cool" "you mean it?!" "no" "fuck"

CHAPTOUR NINE:
"it is so nice to get a day away from the hectic world of foreign diplomacy; especially when you get to see a foreign nation from the eyes of a normal tourist" Natalie wanders down Broadway Avenue Street in the great city of Boston, the capital of Alabama, taking in the sights and sounds of another culture. "h-h-HELLLLLLP" "oh no a cry for help!!!" Natalie rushes down into the alley where the scream was heard. "h-h-help me p-please" "YOUR MONEY OR YOUR LIFE I'M NOT ASKING AGAIN" "now now calm down everyone i'm sure we can work this out amicably" "wh-what" "why don't you both tell me your side of the story and we will work this out" "th-this man i-is m-mugging m-me!!!" "and why is that?" "well i uh i need the money to feed my children" "wh-why w-would you h-have children i-if you d-don't h-have a-a-a j-job" "i DID have one!!! but i got laid off when the price of plain hamburgers plummetted after they found that stockpile in new jersey; then my wife died of cancer and and" The mugger begins to cry, the memories of his downfall flashing through his mind at a rapid pace. "o-oh i-i-i-i-i d-didn't kn-know i-i-i th-thought you w-were going to u-use my m-money t-to buy d-drugs" "see he's not bad at all miss" "h-here h-have my m-money" Valerie gives all of her money to the mugger, happy that she can help a man who has lost control of his life. "see? i'm glad we could come to an agreement" "th-thank you m-miss" Natalie nods and waves goodbye to Valerie and her mugger, heading for her next destination: HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHT AVENUE
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip Leapfrog. "so like" "yeah?" "what now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "but i already have them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was mean" "OKAY" Kathy runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of knives. Knives shoots from Kathy's right hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job kathy" "yeah you're pretty cool" "you mean it?!" "no" "fuck"

CHAPTOUR TEN:
"okay i couldn't terrorise your city, but how about these LEGENDARY WEAPONS" "well uh" "they don't look so legendary to me" "but they were used to slay the horrible monster!!!" "what horrible monster" "you know that one that was terrorising that nation" "what nation" "uh the people's republic of china" "what was the beast's name" "uh ching chong chang" "oh yeah; the man who made sub-par chinese food and sold it at ridiculous prices" "history's greatest monster" The five pay for their legendary swords and exit the factory, and are immediately eaten by a giant plant. "aw we didn't even have time to make snide comments" "and i had the best one lined up!!!" "really what was it" "nah the moment's passed" "come on tell me" "no" "please" "okay, it was 'that-'" "no you have to do the voice" "the... voice?" "you know the bran voice" "you mean... my voice?" "no i mean the 'oh look i am bran rargh'" "oh right; ahem: 'that is the third-largest plant i have ever seen'" "..." "..." "even better the fourth time" "anyway now how do we get out of here" "taylor, use your grass powers!!!" "i have wind powers" "goddammit" "why are you so useless taylor" "hey i have an idea" "tell me the idea" "let's BURN the plant" "..." "..." "EIF THIS IS NO TIME FOR YOUR SHITTY JOKES" "HEY MY JOKES ARE GREAT" "0/10" "FUCK" "guys let's ICE the plant" "great idea bran!!!" "but guys fire-" "eif stop being mad just because your power is shitty and not very effective against grass" Bran blasts the planet with ice, freeing the five. "it sure is cold here in the vacuum of space" "i've been colder" Suddenly, someone changes the bag. "oh no i did not see this coming" The five are emptied into a trash can, where they find A HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHT
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip Tony Hawk's American Sk8land. "so like" "yeah?" "what now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "but i already have them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was mean" "OKAY" Mr. Sock runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of sandals. Sandals shoots from Mr. Sock's right hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job mr sock" "yeah you're pretty cool" "you mean it?!" "no" "fuck"

CHAPTOUR ELEVEN:
"oh fuck fuck fuck milord is hungry and needs sustinence" "SUSTINENCE, you say?!" A large, flaky puff of pastry appears in Amiee :3's hand. "nothing is more life-sustaining than pastry!!!" "please pastry maiden; grant to me some of your pastry" "my family has a saying; give a (wo)man a pastry and you can charge $4.99 a bunch of times; give a (wo)man the power of pastry and you can charge $19.95 once" "i'll take it" "BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE call now and you will get the book of pastry which has pictures and shit!!!" "yes give-" "BUT WAIT TH-" "SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY MILORD MAY DIE OF STARVATION AT ANY MOMENT" Amiee :3 exchanges her product for Grace's money. Grace rushes the floppy disc over to her computer, but it can't run the program. "REQUIRES WINDOWS 98?! HOW MANY WINDOWS CAN ONE PRODUCT NEED?!" Grace kicks over her Windows 95 computer in frustration, and decides to just serve Prince Jakey the leftovers from yesterday; grilled HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHT
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip Maths Blaster. "So Like" "yeah?" "What Now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "But I Already Have Them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "Take That Back" "okay yeah that was mean" "Okay" Robert Truckdriver runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of Damage Inc.. Damage Inc. shoots from Robert Truckdriver's right hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job robert truckdriver" "yeah you're pretty cool" "You Mean It?!" "no" "fuck"

CHAPTOUR TWELVE:
"well here he is; the villain, i mean" "where i don't see him" "just behind this door" "oh cool" Jakey, Eif, Bran, Taylor, and Tony stand in an orderly, single-file line and politely open the door. "honey i'm ho-" The villain's sword pierces all five of their hearts. "aw nuts" The five fall over dead.

CHAPTOUR THIRTEEN:
"mother i have returned" "who are you" "your son, tony" "i don't have a son" "but wait that means..." Tony fades from existence. "..." "..." "how did-" "lo all" Stevman teleports in on his time machine, does a kneeslide, and plays a powerchord. "THAT'S OUR STEVMAN" Michelle walks up to the group and rests her arms on their shoulders. "take me home"
THE END