Reviews Supplemental

05 Jul 2014: James Taylor/"Mud Slide Slim and the Blue Horizon" (1971)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/04/neil-and-tongs-by-neil-yong.html

I gotta say, James Taylor's moustache is stupid.

I don't know what I said when I reviewed Tapestry, but I'm going to say this now: Carole King's version of You've Got a Friend is better than James Taylor's. They're both great, but Carole's is just better.

The album starts off great, but kind of peters out toward the end. It's still a very solid album, however.

05 Jul 2014: Mike Oldfield/"Man on the Rocks" (2014)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2014/03/julio-and-case-of-missing-waifu-by.html

Yes, this is the same guy who did Tubular Bells. No, I'm never going to review that. This album is apparently one of two in Oldfield's discography that isn't largely instrumental. RYM hates it, which is a good sign.
So what made me choose this? Well, Nuclear was the song used in the latest trailer for Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain (not to be confused with Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes, which is already out). I really liked the song, so I'm doing this album for no good reason.

Sailing is such a happy song. It makes me happy and I like it a lot.
The title track really picks up at the end into something great, and I really respect that.

Then there's Nuclear. It should have closed the album, really. It's head and shoulders above anything else here, and has a feeling the rest of the album doesn't capture. Sticking it in the middle of the album is a disservice.
Despite having the impossible task of following Nuclear, Chariots is a great song. I'm legitimately impressed.


So, this album's good. It's very good, even. It's just that Nuclear sets an impossible standard for the album, and most of the songs are far too long.

Here's an unpopular opinion:
I dislike The Dock of the Bay. It's not even that long but it feels like it's 6 minutes long.
Otis has been in my last.fm recommendations for a while but i'm very afraid to try him out.

If You don't like Dock of the Bay, I can't say I'd recommend it. Everything I've heard from him is either like that, recorded in a toilet, or is just boring. I've only listened to that one album, though, so who knows?

06 Jul 2014: Motley Crue/"Saints of Los Angeles" (2008)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/05/oh-damn-by-beavers.html

I've listened to (and hated) most of the Motley Crue discography. Only Dr. Feelgood was better than "ehhhhhhhhhh", but I'm doing this one. Silver liked it a lot (and gave it five stars), so what could go wrong?
I'm technically skipping an album here, but oh well. Maybe later.

The album begins with a pretentious filler intro. Way to go. This segues into Face Down in the Dirt, which was DLC for Rock Band. It's much better to listen to than it is to play, which is good. It would have to be.
What's it Gonna Take tries to be HARDCORE and EDGY, but the vocals completely ruin that. Nice.

The title track is the definite star here. This song does it right; that riff and the vocals are great.
Motherfucker of the Year is just bad. The title tells you everything you need to know.


The good news is that it's better than the vast majority of Motley Crue albums. The bad news is that that's not saying much.

06 Jul 2014: The Rolling Stones/"Emotional Rescue" (1980)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/05/reaching-into-pool-of-lava-by-drowning.html

I said this would be the next album of theirs I was going to review, and I meant it.
This is the follow-up to my second-highest-rated The Rolling Stones album, Some Girls. Before today, all I'd heard was the title track.

It starts with Dance, which is pretty funky. It's a good look for the band, really.
Summer Romance sounds like an early '60s fast-paced "we're new here and aren't pretentious yet" song. I love those.

Then there's the title track. I found it a bit annoying at first, but it's actually one of the band's best songs. I absolutely love it.
Following it is a hard task, but She's so Cold does it incredibly well. A definite highlight.


So, like, this is great. It's overtaken Some Girls as my second-highest-rated The Rolling Stones album. Unexpected, to say the least.

06 Jul 2014: Linkin Park/"Meteora" (2003)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/05/graveyard-bones-by-boneguys.html

I don't have very good judgement at times.

This album starts with my favourite thing in the whole world: a filler intro track! Fuck yeah!
Like, turntables. What's the point? Does anyone even like turntables? I also don't like their rapper. Why is there rapping? This band is a mess, and I wish CH3ZD4R would just leave these clowns and join STP full-time.
Combine CH3ZD4R's screaming and rap guy's rapping, and it's just stupid and confusing. Like, I don't get it. The two don't work together. Be either a shitty rap group or be a mediocre modern rock act. Not fucking both.

Easier to Run is mad gay. Hella gay. It's got gay for days.
Breaking the Habit is the best song on the album. It's also the only one that doesn't feature rap guy. Those two things are probably related.
Session is a pretentious instrumental that has no business being on any album.

Mostly horrible.

I have commonly held that She's So Cold is among the worst songs ever written.
to each their own

07 Jul 2014: Genesis/"Abacab" (1981)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/05/i-bleed-into-vat-of-acid-by-blood-mixes.html

So, Phil Collins. Yeah.

Dodo/Lurker features Phil Collins at his least Phil Collins-sounding. It's interesting, to say the least. And by that, I mean that it's far too long and kind of boring.
Whodunnit? is really strange and I don't like it. It's kind of scaring me. OH SHIT, THOSE ARE ACTUAL WORDS NOT JUST GIBBERISH Phil Collins, ladies and gentlemen.

Aside from those two songs, this is a very solid album. Better than We Can't Dance, at least.

07 Jul 2014: Billy Idol/"Rebel Yell" (1983)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/05/to-go-by-pizzamen.html

The album starts with the title track. Not much to say. I like it, you know. You've heard it a million times, so let's just move on.
Eyes Without a Face was apparently a hit, but I'm not seeing it. It's kind of horrible in a boring/pretentious sort of way.

Do Not Stand in the Shadows is the only fun song on the album. I like the song a lot more than I probably should, but that's on Billy for making the rest of the album so lethargic.
It's followed by the most boring, lethargic, pretentious bullshit on the album, which is also the closer. Great.

This album is just kind of there. I don't think Billy put much effort or care into it beyond the title track.

07 Jul 2014: Santana/"Guitar Heaven" (2010)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/05/dont-you-forget-about-dishes-by-dont.html

This is a horrible "tribute" album to rock and roll. It features guest vocalists on every song, including both Scott Stapp (of Stone Temple Pilots) and Scott Stapp (of Creed), in that order. This is a total shitshow, so let's get started.

We begin with a cover of Whole Lotta Love, featuring Chris Cornell. It's sped up way too much, which completely ruins it. Santana's fills don't help. I'd like to hear Soundgarden cover this song, because this is very awful. OKAY MAYBE NOT THAT HIGH NOTE WAS HORRID
Perfect tone-setter.

Then there's the cover of Can't You Hear Me Knockin' that manages to ruin everything right away. Not only are the tone and tempo all off, but those fills are awful. Scott Stapp's vocals are pretty bad, too. And, holy shit, that stupid guitar solo. Great.
Those Latin-ass drums on Sunshine of Your Love are just stupid. Rob Thomas's performance isn't too great, either. Then there's Santana's guitar solo, which is just stupid. Just fucking stupid.

While My Guitar Gently Weeps is now an R&B song with Spanish guitar. I'm not fucking joking. OH, HOW I FUCKING WISH I WERE JOKING
Note that the fourth track is where I started wanting to kill myself.

Def Leppard's Photograph is the first one of the songs I don't actually like. It features American Idol contestant Chris Daughtry, and, uh. Daughtry sounds like he should have been Lou Gramm's replacement in Foreigner on this song. The choruses are still pretty gay, but I don't like Def Leppard at all, really, so I kind of like this better. It sounds like a mediocre Foreigner song rather than a shitty glam metal song.

Back in Black is a rap now. The original is straight up horrible, whereas this is simply mediocre. I'd call it a win.
It's followed by another shitty song, Riders on the Storm. This one features not only CH3ZD4R as the guest vocalist, but Ray Manzarek. This version is, at the very least, more interesting than the original. It ain't got shit on the Snoop Dogg version, though.

Next is a fourth shitty song, Smoke on the Water. For all his fuckery, Santana didn't change that stupid fucking riff. For the record, I'd love Smoke on the Water if not for that stupid riff. Everything that isn't that riff is great. But FUCK that riff.
Whoever the fuck that is on vocals on Dance the Night Away needs to quit music. Just, quit. You're horrible.

The cover of Get it On has it all. A neutered groove, pointless and insulting guitar fills, bored and horrible vocals, and, of course, it's got Marc Bolan rolling in his grave.
Little Wing features Joe Cocker. Honestly, it's better than most of this album. Joe Cocker may be horrible, but he's better than fucking R&B While My Guitar Gently Weeps.

I'd probably like I Ain't Superstitious a lot more if Megadeth hadn't done the same thing a million times better.
Scott Stapp's Fortunate Son is just horrible. About what you'd expect from the guy from fucking Creed, right?. What's surprising is how he fucks it up. Rather than just sing with his shitty voice, he tries to do interesting vocal shit that I usually like, but it backfires because he's FUCKING SCOTT STAPP

The final song is a cover of Under the Bridge. From the outset, Santana ruins the song with his shit-ass guitar-playing. The singuy is fine, I guess. Kind of generic and boring. But fuck you, Santana.
SCRATCH THAT
THAT LATIN-ASS ENDING FUCKING RUINS THE ENTIRE SONG AND FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU
FUCK
YOU
FUCK YOU


Why call them "guitar classics" if you're just going to shit on each and every song? Why did Santana make this? Just, why?
p.s. fuck you

08 Jul 2014: Bob Dylan/"Tempest" (2012)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/05/caucasians-by-men.html

'70s Bob Dylan wasn't cutting it for me, so I dove headfirst into a highly-rated recent release.
Bob's voice has gone to hell, but Goddamn, does it work on these tracks. He's hoarse and a bit nasally, but it's charming and compliments the music extremely well.

Narrow Way is far too long. It's twice as long as it should be.
Bob Dylan's long, story-ass songs are always great. This album has a few, and while they aren't as good as Desolation Row or Isis, they're very enjoyable.

Overall, a nice album. It's one of the better Dylan albums I've listened to for sure.

08 Jul 2014: Simple Minds/"Sparkle in the Rain" (1984)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/05/hold-me-in-your-arms-until-pain-stops.html

So, new wave. I don't know much about it, but I'm ready. I liked Simple Minds' album after this one, so let's go.

The is one of those albums that just gets worse as it goes on. It's never bad, but it does drop in quality as it progresses. Oh well.

08 Jul 2014: "Butchering The Beatles" (2006)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/05/going-into-labour-on-fiftieth.html

This is a metal tribute album for The Beatles. Oh boy.

The album begins with Alice Cooper butchering Hey Bulldog. The title of the album is very apt so far.
Lemmy sounds so fucking bored on Back in the U.S.S.R., it's not even funny. Lucy suffers from the same problem, but it's sung by a total nobody, so it's okay.

Billy Idol and Steve Stevens's cover of Tomorrow Never Knows is just silly.
Yngwie's Magical Mystery Tour needs to be heard. You will not believe it. It is incredibly silly.

Billy Gibbons's Revolution is surprisingly decent.
Tommy Shaw and Doug Aldrich's cover of Day Tripper is actually good. ACTUALLY GOOD

There's nothing wrong with the no-names' cover of I Feel Fine. I actually like it.
Steve Lukather got shafted with a shit singuy on Taxman. Shame.

John Corabi (best known for being Motley Crue's shit replacement singuy) covers I Saw Her Standing There with C.C. Deville, and completely shits it up.
Speaking of bottom of the barrel, Tim "THE RIPPER" Owens (best known for being Judas Priest's shit replacement singuy) covers fucking Hey Jude and completely shits it up. Like, holy shit. It's the worst song here somehow.

The album closes with Kip Winger's Drive My Car, which is the best song on the album.

Overall, I had a good time. That cover of Hey Jude was fucking horrible, and most of the album was just bad, but I enjoyed it.

09 Jul 2014: Starsailor/"Love is Here" (2001)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/05/an-in-depth-look-at-fridays-by.html

Remember MGS3? I do.
The first thing I noticed is that Way to Fall is smack-dab in the middle of the album. An odd choice, to say the least.

Poor Misguided Fool is pretty fucking sweet. Ten stars.
Then there's Way to Fall. The best song in any Metal Gear game. The Best is Yet to Come? Referring to Way to Fall (and MGS3 in general).

Nothing really tops Way to Fall, and it should have closed the album, but it's still really good. I had a great time.

09 Jul 2014: Beady Eye/"BE" (2013)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/06/e-e-e-by-vowels.html

In case you forgot (HOW COULD YOU), Beady Eye is 80% of Oasis. The 80% that isn't Noel. The 80% that is comparatively talentless.

The album starts with a song that manages to perfectly encapsulate everything I don't like about Liam. I don't know if that's an effect or his voice has just gone to shit.
The lyric "when you call me name, it takes away my pain" made me flinch. I feel really bad for Liam. His brother got all the talent.

Shine a Light is probably the best song on this album, and that is depressing.
Dreaming of Some Space is pretentious as shit. Oh, Liam.

Not as bad as Noel's last EP, but worse than anything Oasis proper put out. Poor guys, lost the only talented member of their band.

09 Jul 2014: KISS/"Dynasty" (1979)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/09/dont-stop-stopping-guys-by-frog.html

So, the best-selling of your four simultaneous solo albums stuck to the KISS formula, more or less, and the others tanked. What's next for KISS? Disco!

The album starts with the band's absolute best song, I Was Made for Lovin' You. Disco as shit, catchy as shit, I love it.


"Phoned in" is a great way to describe this album. Aside from the legendary first track, it's largely just okay.

09 Jul 2014: "Re-Machined: A Tribute to Deep Purple's Machine Head" (2012)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/05/its-not-friday-by-rb-band.html

A rerecording of Deep Purple's Machine Head, featuring two Highway Stars and two Smoke on the Waters. Yay.

It starts with the same fucking Smoke on the Water from Santana's bullshit Guitar Heaven thing. I skipped it because I have better shit to do than listen to self-indulgent wankery from that guy again.
Next is live Highway Star by Chickenfoot. If anyone can do justice to this, it's Sammy Hagar. Luckily, he does. It would be better if it weren't live, but it's certainly better than fucking Santana.

Glenn Hughes's Maybe I'm a Leo is just bad.
Who the fuck invited Black Label Society? Especially for fucking Pictures of Home? Fucking hell.

I like how they gave Never Before to a no-name band. No-name band for the no-name song.
The Flaming Lips's Smoke on the Water is just pretentious bullshit. I shouldn't be surprised. I really shouldn't.

Lazy's just kind of there. It's fine, but there's literally no reason to listen to it over the original.
Iron Maiden's Space Truckin' has no edge. You know who would have given this song the edge it deserved? Paul Di'Anno.

Metallica's When a Blind Man Cries is just awful. Horrible type of song for James. Why did they even?
The final track is a Glenn Hughes cover of Highway Star. Much better than his cover of Maybe I'm a Leo, but there's no reason to listen to it over the original.

Honestly, this whole thing was kind of bland. The Flaming Lips's Smoke on the Water was the only song that tried something new, and it was pretentious and self-indulgent as shit.

10 Jul 2014: David Bowie/"David Bowie" (1967)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/06/waluigi-number-one-by-waluigi-one.html

I thought I should give this one a shot before moving onto the 1980s
This was David Bowie's first album, and his first of two self-titled albums in a row. The second one is always referred to by its most famous/only good track, Space Oddity. It's only a half-hour long, so this shouldn't be too bad.

The vocals here barely resemble David Bowie. If you had put this album in front of me without giving me any information, I would never guess that it's a Bowie album.

Sell Me a Coat makes a lot more sense when you realise he's saying "coat" instead of "goat".


So, like, this album is unremarkable in every way, but it's very charming. I like it a lot more than I probably should.

10 Jul 2014: The Pretenders/"Pretenders II" (1981)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/05/destruction-of-personal-property-by.html

After a good debut, The Pretenders roar out of the gate with a filler track, which is followed by something irredeemably horrible. I honestly skipped the second track halfway through because I was embarrassed.

The entire album is just filler. Just fucking filler. Fucking nice.

10 Jul 2014: "Nevermind Forever" (2011)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/05/being-best-at-being-best-by-best.html

In 2011, it was all the rage to cover all of Nevermind. Spin's take was pretty good, so let's see how Kerrang! did.

It starts with a cover of Smells Like Teen Spirit that is pointless. It's barely any different, aside from the singuy being absolute shit.
In Bloom is some fucking emo-ass hardcore shit. Hey.

The Dillinger Escape Plan are fucking awful. Fucking awful. I called them by name because I want them to feel the shame of what they did.
This Frank Turner guy fucked up On a Plain. The entire point of the lyrics to be contradictory, and he fucking sings "it's safe to say, you can quote me on that". Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.

MY FAVOURITE YOUTUBE COMMENT IS THE ONE WHERE THE GUY SAYS HE GREW OUT OF NIRVANA'S MUSIC BUT THEN PRAISES THIS HARDCORE-ASS SCREAMO-ASS BULLSHIT-ASS BULLSHIT
WHERE IS MY NOOSE


Spin got interesting artists (plus two Kurty loved!) to cover the album. Kerrang! got shit-ass modern-ass hardcore-ass bullshit-ass "artists" to cover the album. Fucking gee, I wonder which one is better.

11 Jul 2014: Dexy's Midnight Runners/"Too-Rye-Ay" (1982)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/05/joking-about-jokes-by-jokers.html

The first time I heard of these guys was on The Simpsons, when The Be-Sharps beat them out for the Grammy. I still don't get the joke in "The Be-Sharps" name, but whatever.
When I first heard Come On, Eileen, I was like "what the fuck is this shit". It's slowly grown on me, and I'm curious to see how an album of theirs will play out.

The first song is mixed incredibly poorly. The violins(?) completely drown out everything else.
Let's Make This Precious features the title over and over and over and over

Then there's a waltz! Wow! I don't want to waltz.
Then there's a Van Morrison cover. These guys aren't Van Morrison, and should really leave being Van Morrison to Van Morrison. It's seriously a pointless cover, and is worse than the original in literally every way.

Liars A to E has female backing vocalists. You sure know how to get on my good side, Dexter.
That falsetto on I Believe in My Soul is horrid. It's also twice as long as it should be.

Then we FINALLY get to Come On, Eileen. It's the only good song here. Oh, I swear.


This entire album is spent wading through bullshit to get to Come On, Eileen. This album should have been called "Come On, Eileen, This is Why They Make Singles".

11 Jul 2014: Paul Gilbert/"King of Clubs" (1998)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/05/youre-best-asquare-by-triangles.html

Paul Gilbert's first solo album that wasn't a Jimi Hendrix tribute.

Vinyl's got a pretty sweet riff, but the choruses are kind of annoying.
Double Trouble also has a sweet riff, but without the annoying choruses.

There is a huge jam on this album that lasts twenty fucking minutes. Let's just say I listened to it.


This album has all the Paul Gilbert standards. Funny, relatable songs (Girlfriend's Birthday), weird but great songs (Bumblebee), and classical bullshit (The Jig). It's just kind of under-developed.

12 Jul 2014: The Zombies/"New World" (1991)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/05/asking-question-by-questionites.html

After 1968's mediocre Odessey and Oracle, The Zombies probably broke up, I would assume. Their third album was released in 1991, and here it is.

Blunstone's voice has completely lost the tone I loved so much on Begin Here. The album is indistinguishable from John Mellencamp or Bryan Adams or whoever. Nice work.
Holy shit. Colin Blunstone is also the guy from The Alan Parsons Project. What the fuck happened?

And what's the fucking point of rerecording Time of the Season? Tell me, because I honestly don't know.

12 Jul 2014: Journey/"Departure" (1980)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/05/hanging-onto-precipice-of-life-by.html

It starts with Any Way You Want It, which is both a great and a horrible opener. On one hand, the second it starts, you're fucking in it. It's done. You're in. On the other, it creates an impossible standard. It's not like Don't Stop Believin' had been written yet.
I'm Cryin' is so great that it could only be better if Freddie Mercury or Paul McCartney sang it.

Aside from those two and Line of Fire, the album's just okay.

13 Jul 2014: Van Morrison/"Veedon Fleece" (1974)
http://musiccouldbebetter.blogspot.com/2013/05/killing-last-of-buffalo-by-buffalo-bill.html

Doing Dexy's Midnight Runners made me want to do another of these. You could tell they wanted to be Van Morrison, but they just weren't.

What the fuck is this? Van's falsetto is fucking awful. I actually had to double-check and make sure it hadn't been altered. Who Was That Masked Man is ruined because of it.

Other than that, it's a pretty good Van Morrison album. Those are always nice.