Thanksgiving Special 2022

THANKSGIVING SPECIAL:
"jakey what the hell are you doing" "you know how kb pardons a turkey every year so we can't eat it?" "yeah" "well he ALWAYS pardons the turkey that i want to eat!!! but no more!!! i have invented this highly advanced turkey disguise that will make me indistinguishable from a real turkey, and i have researched the behaviour of the turkeys kb previously pardoned so i can adapt my actions to endear myself to the king" "so you're trying to get king bran to pardon you instead" "yes" "and what will happen if your plan backfires and he instead decides to eat you" "that's why i also have a gun" "you're going to shoot the king" "what? no i'm going to shoot a warning shot into the air; people will be so taken aback by a turkey with a gun that i can make my escape" "well good luck with that; my strategy for makeing sure kb doesn't pardon the turkey i want to eat is simply to kill it the day before he chooses" "i'm going to pretend i didn't hear that so i don't feel stupid for wasting thirteen million dollars on research and development" "suit yourself" Taylor returns to preparing his turkey as Jakey dons his turkey suit and heads for the turkey field.
King Bran walks into the turkey field, followed by his personal assistant, Jean. "what's with that giant turkey over there" "weird; that one just appeared out of nowhere overnight" "i don't like the way he's eyeballing me; pat him down for weapons" "yessir" Jean walks over and pats down the giant turkey for weapons. This giant turkey was simply a decoy, however, and Jakey has crammed himself into a regular-sized turkey's frame. "he's clean" "well that's the one i'm eating this thanksgiving; load him onto the truck" "can do" Jean grapples with the giant turkey as King Bran begins his inspection. "hey little guy; what's up" "gobble gobble" "haha yeah that's how it is" Jakey hands King Bran a box of chocolates and an adult magazine. "for me?! you shouldn't have!!! but i am glad you did; i love chocolates and magazines" King Bran pats Jakey on the head, thinking he's a turkey. "my turkish friend, you are officially PARDONED!!! no one will eat you this year" "YES" "huh?" "i mean 'gobble gobble'" "oh you're welcome" King Bran turns and hops into his royal caravan, leaving the turkeys behind. Jakey uses his turkish charms to woo a female turkey, and take her out to dinner without her realising she'll be the main course. "gobble gobble" "oh yes dear turkethany, i find you simply ravishing" "gobble gobble" Turkethany blushes underneath her turkish feathers. "i also find you delicious" "GOBBLE?!" Jakey emerges from within his turkey costume as Turkethany is caught inside a net. "i will be eating good this thanksgiving" "gobble gobble" A single turkish tear streams down Turkethany's face, her turkish heart completely broken.