Thanksgiving Special 2013

THANKSGIVING SPECIAL AND SHIT:
"guys thanksgiving is tomorrow and we still don't have a turkey" "let's go to the store and buy one" "good idea" Jakey and Eif hop into a shopping cart and paddle to the grocery store. "oh fuck they're out of turkeys" "how will we do thanksgiving now!!!" "i guess we will have to catch and kill a turkey ourselves" "fine" Jakey and Eif paddle their shopping carts into the woods. "oh look a turkey!!!" "that's not a turkey that's a squirrel" "oh look a turkey!!!" "that's a stump" "another one!!!" "that's a... BEAR"  Eif runs off with his arms above his head, screaming. "come closer to me turkey" Jakey draws his knife and fork. "it is time" The bear lunges at Jakey, who runs it through with his knife and fork. "oh this isn't a turkey, it's a large-mouth bass" Jakey shrugs and eats it anyway. "OH FUCK A TURKEY" Eif shoots the fast-moving creature he sees and drags it home.
"thanksgiving lunch is ready!!!" "oh boy oh" "i can't wait to eat the mashed potatoes" "yeah i want to smother mine in cake frosting" "i want to smother mine in chocolate syrup" "i want to build a little fort out of potatoes and fill it with peas" "i want to eat them with salt" "..." "..." "dude gross" "get out" Michelle walks away from the table, dejected, as Eif uncovers the main course. "dude this isn't a turkey" "yeah turkeys are smaller, browner, rounder, less arousing, and aren't brandishing weapons" "shut up and eat your HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHT"
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip Parcheesi. "so like" "yeah?" "what now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "but i already have them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was mean" "OKAY" Jakey runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of electricity. Electricity shoots from Jakey's left hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job jakey" "yeah you're pretty cool" "you mean it?!" "no" "fuck"