A Thing Gaiden 14: Claire Who is a Ghost (2018)

CHAPTOUR ONE:
Every single year, the birthdays of Claire's friends come and go, and she is never able to get anything for them. They understand why, of course, since Claire is a ghost and cannot hold the sorts of things humans would receive for their birthday. She can't buy them anything for delivery, either, since all of her currency is ethereal. No one has said anything so far, and no one even has a look of disappointment in their eyes when Claire shows up to the birthday party empty-handed, aside from Claire herself. Sick of not being able to show her appreciation for those she cares about, Claire sets to work, scouring the ghost internet's forgotten corners for items that can be handled by ghosts and humans alike. The mainstream ghost search engine, GhOoOoOoOoOgLe, cannot pierce the veil of the forgotten like ouija.gst can. After many weeks of tireless searching, she finally finds the perfect gift; an ancient stone that will allow a human to interact with the incorporeal world. The stone has been lost to the ages, but a famous ghost explorer named sephirothgoku1996 had said he'd pinpointed its location to a Mojavistanian mountain called Mt. Dolores. Wasting no time (as Jakey's birthday is less than a week away), Claire puts on last year's Halloween costume and heads out on her trek for the stone. Luckily, she had chosen "mountain explorer" for Halloween last year rather than "giant panda". Claire had died before she'd been able to get her driver's license, so she had to hitch a ride in a passing ghost truck. "luckily for you miss i was headed that way myself" "yes, thanks again" "don't mention it" The truck stops at the base of Mt. Dolores, and Claire hops out of the bed. "good luck miss" "thanks mr. leroy" Claire waves as Leroy drives off.

CHAPTOUR TWO:
For a human bound by things like legs and not being able to occupy the same space as an object, the climb up Mt. Dolores would be treacherous, and most wouldn't make it even halfway. As a ghost, Claire can change her legs so that she's floating rather than walking, and large boulders aren't even an obstacle for her. What would be a several week-long trek for a human, Claire turns into a walk down to the grocery store for some milk. Reaching the peak of the mountain is the easy part, but what lies beyond the gigantic metal double-doors is a different story. Claire attempts to phase through the doors, as she normally does with doors, but she ends up kicking the heavy metal doors with her left foot as she's walking. "OW FUCK" Claire's face turns bright red as she opens the door like a normal person would. Dozens of bats fly out of the doorway past Claire. Since the door caught her unaware, she cowers slightly, even though the bats pass right through her. "oh wow there's the stone right there just past the threshold of the cavern; no trials or ghost trolls or anything guarding its secrets" Claire walks up to the stone and grabs it, then walks off. As she climbs down the mountain, Claire pulls out her phone and returns to the ghost forum, where she claims she has acquired the stone under her username "perfectclairety". "hey sephirothgoku1996 why didn't you just grab the stone if it was just there after you opened the door" "OPEN the door?! shit i'd never thought of that"

CHAPTOUR THREE:
Finally, the day has arrived. Claire shows up at Jakey's birthday celebration, gift in hand. Jakey has never really cared for the big birthday bashes Grace has always thrown him, but he goes along with it for the free cake. "hello claire so glad you could make it" "i got you this present!!!" "really? that's um surprising" "y-yeah well i um always felt really bad about never being able to get you anything so i tried really hard this year" "i hope you'll forgive me if i have you open it for me since i can't like grab the paper" "oh yeah" Claire unwraps the present, and inside is a glowing stone. Jakey pauses for a moment, because it looks strangely corporeal. How could a corporeal object be held by Claire? Jakey reaches out his hand and grabs the stone, which is instantly absorbed into his body. Having been through this song and dance many times before, Jakey instantly realises that he was given an ancient artefact that will allow him to touch ghosts. As Claire stands before him, smiling and gently swaying from side to side with her arms behind her back, Jakey decides what his first act of ghost-interaction must be. Jakey reaches out his right hand and gives Claire's right breast a quick honk. "beep beep"
THE END