EPYSODE ONE:
"ladies i have given you all superhuman powers fit to fight the most heinous criminals through this special potion" Jakey shows off a glass bottle with a picture of a skull and crossbones on it containing a mysterious green liquid. "since i've already administered the potion, now would be the perfect time to go over the potential side effects" "wait what" "well the list is pretty long and i didn't want to bore you to sleep, but now that you've got the enhanced resistance to boredom afforded by this potion, it's all good" "fair enough" "warning: do not drink this potion if you are pregnant; do not drink alcohol for at least forty-eight hours after imbibing this potion" Kathy quickly throws away her martini, then acts as if nothing had happened. "potential side effects include: insomnia, narcolepsy, night terrors, day terrors, midafternoon terrors, extreme sweatiness, increased cattiness, a sudden and unexplainable craving for cool ranch doritos, athlete's foot, athlete's hand, irritable leg syndrome, restless bowel syndrome, and, in extreme cases, a sudden and unexpected demise" "oh is that all" "i'm sure you'll all be fine"