INTRODUCING THE JUSTICE HERO SUPER LEAGUE! THE TOMATO OF JUSTICE, WITH THE ABILITY TO QUICKLY DISPENSE JUSTICE OVER A LARGE AREA! GREATMAN, WITH THE ABILITY TO BE REALLY GREAT! HORSEFACE, WITH THE ABILITY TO COMMUNICATE WITH HORSES! THE SILVER BULLET, WITH THE ABILITY TO UTTERLY DESTROY AN ENEMY BY LAUNCHING HIMSELF AT THEM AT HIGH SPEEDS! ONCE! HERCULES, A GREEK GOD AND THE SON OF ZEUS! THE BRUTE, WHO IS REALLY BIG AND STRONG AND ANGRY! AND "THE BAG", A MYSTERIOUS MASTER OF DISGUISE! TOGETHER, THEY FORM THE JUSTICE HERO SUPER LEAGUE! A LEAGUE OF SUPERHEROES BANDED TOGETHER TO FIGHT EVIL!
"all right men and horseface the gurgler is attacking the justiceburg national bank" "the FIEND" "here is my plan: the tomato of justice, hercules, the brute, and myself stay here and play the new madden game while horseface goes in and distracts the gurgler's hench with her feminine wiles" "she is pretty wily" "while horseface does that, 'the bag' will disguise himself as the gurgler and steal the money from the bank himself, depositing it in our safe for keeping, and finally, the silver bullet will deal with the gurgler himself" "i won't let you down greatman" "all right team MOVE OUT"
Horseface approaches The Gurgler's hench. "hay boyyyyyyyys <3" "oh man look at that 10/10" "shame about her face" "nothing a paper bag or two won't fix" "word up homie" Horseface leads the hench into the nearby toilets, where her portion of the plan goes into action. Meanwhile, "The Bag" heads up to the counter, his disguise complete. "PUT THE MONEY IN THE BAG" "no i'd rather not" Not at all disheartened, "The Bag" begins to gurgle with all his might. "OKAY WHATEVER YOU WANT JUST DON'T HURT ME" The teller gives "The Bag" all the money the bank has, and "The Bag" leaves for HQ. Meanwhile, the Silver Bullet confronts The Gurgler. The Gurgler, having already done his monologue, begins to gurgle. The Silver Bullet knows he cannot let The Gurgler get to full power, and launches himself at The Gurgler headfirst, sacrificing himself to kill The Gurgler. "THE GURGLER HAS BEEN DEFEATED" "THANK YOU GREATMAN" The city sends Greatman a million dollars in reward. "touchdown lions!!!" "you're a dirty fucking cheater greatman" "calm down it's okay we're among friends here" "sorry sometimes i just-" "shhh" Greatman puts his finger to The Brute's lips. "hear that? it's the sound of john madman telling us that I'M THE BEST THERE EVER WAS" "oh fuck off greatman" "no" "curse you and your powers of not-fucking off"