Yom Kippur Special 2014

YOM KIPPUR SPECIAL AND SHIT:
"hello and welcome to one of our grandest traditions; the annual yom kippur fish-off!!!" "I AM GOING TO CATCH SO MANY FISH" "i disagree; it is i who am going to catch so many fish" "WANNA BET" "no not really" "oh sorry" "you will each be put into teams of two and must find a spot in this lake to catch as many fish as possible; kippurs are worth five points and sharks are worth negative a million points" "oh dear" "what about luvdisc" "there are only two kinds of fish in this pond" "i thought you said it was a lake" "well uh um" Svart sweats. "LOOK OVER THERE" The crowd turns around as one, and Svart beats a hasty retreat. "on your ready, get ready, GO" Sheriff Antony fires one of his revolvers into the air and the contestants scramble to find a prime fishing spot. Jakey and Eif hop into a speed boat and speed off toward the exact centre of the lake, with Bran and Taylor right behind. Brucie and Orange stay by the shore and cast their lines. "I'VE GOT SOMETHING" Brucie pulls up his catch, an old boot. "oh my GOD it is a rare boot fish!!!" Brucie runs over to the judging table and hands his catch to Svart. "oh my GOD it is a rare boot fish!!!" "that's what i said" "this is a landmark moment in history; no one has ever caught a rare boot fish!!! unfortunately, this is also an automatic disqualification for your team" "GODDAMMIT ORANGE" "sorry" Brucie and Orange trudge off, fishing poles in hand.
Jakey and Eif speed toward the centre of the pond with Bran and Taylor in hot pursuit, dodging many sharp rocks and whirlpools. "oh my god it's a shark" "I'VE GOT THIS" Eif steers the boat straight toward the shark, veering away at the very last second. "OH NO" Bran and Taylor's boat crashes straight into the shark's mouth. The impact knocks the shark out, but also takes out a chunk of their boat. As the boat begins to sink, the two roll their eyes. "not again" Jakey and Eif, meanwhile, reach the exact centre of the lake. "ah here it is; the exact centre" "oh boy" The two cast their lines and wait for a bite. "OH SHIT I'VE GOT IT HOLY SHIT THIS IS THE BIG ONE" "OH MY GOD" Jakey and Eif combine their strength to pull in The Big One. "WE CAN'T DO THIS" Eif slaps Jakey in the face. "thanks i needed that" The two reel in their catch, A HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHT
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip Parcheesi. "so like" "yeah?" "what now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "but i already have them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was mean" "OKAY" Jakey runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of electricity. Electricity shoots from Jakey's left hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job jakey" "yeah you're pretty cool" "you mean it?!" "no" "fuck"