E3 2014

Remember last year when I, as Cool Guy, reported the goings on of E3 on Twitter?
IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN

I was debating it, but rereading through Cool Guy's musings left me in stitches, metaphorically speaking. I find myself rather funny. Someone has to.

But I've retired the Cool Guy account, and will only use it every so often to post senseless shit so it won't get deleted. Twitter does that for some reason.

This year, ACE REPORTER RICK SCOOP IS ON THE CASE
https://twitter.com/RickScoop

What blunders will Microsoft pull in 2014? Will Pacman be confirmed for Kerfuffle? What's Assassin's Creed LXVI looking like? Find out on Monday.

Here's my E3 report card.


Microsoft impressed me and almost made me want an Xbone with Sunset Overdrive and Crackdown 3. Kamiya's new game looks cool, too.
EA just fucking crashed and burned. Sports and BioWare? Oh boy.
Ubisoft were average at best. Aisha was cringe-worthy as ever.
Sony disappointed me, honestly. The PSTV shit was whack, and most of the games were underwhelming. Far Cry 4 looks sweet (ELEPHANTS), and the Ratchet and Clank movie and official game of the movie sound great. Uncharted 4 will be great unless Nate dies, and if Sully dies I'm just out. The KH2.5 trailer on the YouTube was sweet, but fuck.

Then there's Nintendo. They managed to present Miis in Smash Bros. in a way that didn't make me vomit, and Yarn Yoshi looks fucking SICK. Toad's Amazing Adventure looks stupid great. Paintball looks okay. Palutena in Smash Bros. was expected, but it looks neat. Smash Bros. tournament will be interesting, hopefully. FUCK PHOENIX VS LAYTON NOT COMING OUT UNTIL SEPTEMBER THOUGH

Nintendo won E3, and I'm glad because I put all my money on that horse