St. Patrick's Day Special 2014

ST. PATRICK'S DAY SPECIAL AND SHIT:
"jakey did you know that there are pots of GOLD at the ends of their rainbows" "yes i did" "well did you know that GOLD can be exchanged for goods and services" "eif you start the car i will get the rainbowmatic 6000" Jakey rushes to the closet, wading through back issues of The New Kathy Times to get to the Rainbowmatic 6,000. Jakey hops into the back of Eif's pickem-up truck and Eif stomps the gas to get into Alabama National Empty Field. Jakey fires up the Rainbowmatic 6,000 and the rainbow arcs into Alabama National Empty Forest. Jakey and Eif run into the forst to the end of the rainbow. "wait where's the pot of gold" "AHAHAHA I HEARD OF YOUR PLAN AND HAVE STOLEN THE GOLD FROM YOU" "DAMN YOU SVART" "i am going to press charges" "YOU CAN'T BECAUSE IF YOU DO EVERYONE WILL KNOW OF THE RAINBOW TRICK AND GOLD AS A CURRENCY WILL BE DEVALUED AHAHAHAHAHA" "DAMMIT HE'S THOUGHT OF EVERYTHING" "guess we should just go home" Eif and Jakey mope home and turn on the television to watch reruns of The Tonight Show with A HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHT
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip Parcheesi. "so like" "yeah?" "what now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "but i already have them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was mean" "OKAY" Jakey runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of electricity. Electricity shoots from Jakey's left hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job jakey" "yeah you're pretty cool" "you mean it?!" "no" "fuck"