battle

Okay guys who would win:

Dante

• Impaled with his own sword
  
• Dropped his slice of pizza
  
• Those guys totally wrecked his shop
  
• Lady fired a rocket at him
  
• It's a cutscene

Yami

• 50 life points
  
• Dark Magician on the field
  
• Two cards face-down
  
• Two cards in his hand
  
• It's his draw
  
• A device will kill Margaret if he loses
  
• Yugi, Grampa and Kaiba's souls are on the line
  
• Kuriboh is his deck master

Eagle man

• Don't Stop Me Now is playing
  
• There are reinforcements ready to surround him in a diamond formation
  
• He has not started casually multiplying
  
• Is moderately-hung

OG Loc

• He just let Brian die, man
  
• Hectour crashed his presidential acceptance speech
  
• Roubourt has Rachael
  
• A single tear is streaming down his cheek

Fresno

• Marcus wants a bling-bling wild party
  
• Hip-hop horse is rapping

Sweet Bro

• Has warned Hella Jeff about stairs
  
• Got a look at Hella Jeff's mother's HOT ASS
  
• Has the nachons

Genie

• Aladdin just freed him
  
• Gave him a little more baklavaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Adam Lambert

• Can't find you in the baklava
  
• The night is burning
  
• Is able to watch out
  
• Ain't afraid of no butter
  
• Ain't scared of no sheets
  
• The going has gotten mean

Storm Lee

• Can yell
  
• You just lit his guitar on fire
  
• Adjusted the strap so it secure, yet comfortable

George Harrison

• Has his mind set on you

Dave Grohl

• His hand has grown to enormous sizes
  
• Is in the midst of confessing
  
• Learned to love again

Link

• Ganon and his minions have attacked the island of Koridai
  
• Is unable to grab his stuff
  
• Has just been denied a kiss, for luck

Sting

• Turned the clock to seal you honey
  
• Stopped to seal all the nothing
  
• Saw a picture of salmon there, too
  
• Fallen into the water
  
• Been given powers by the glowing light

Ainsley Harriott

• Has a pepper shaker
  
• Sir turkey is in front of him, waiting to have stuffing crammed into it

Rick Astley

• Can turn the lights out

Paul McCartney

• Just lost his ball
  
• On a train
  
• Has a bicycle
  
• Is carrying Ringo

A brick wall