Interview with a Great Guy

Hello, I am Dr. Brian Nekyll of Science and Magic Magazine, the one who wrote the New York Times Best Seller, Spontaneous Combustion, So Hot.

When I recently heard that Brandon "Jinzo" Lehman passed away, I literally cried tears of pain. He was my favorite musical artist, and his book, Deep Purple Hits and The Rings of Saturn: Coincidence?, inspired my entire career with Science and Magic Magazine. I decided to pay homage to this man by visiting his primary recording studio in Rural Denver, Colorado. While there, I felt a tap on my shoulder, and standing before me was the spectral image of Jinzo himself. He told me he wished to be interviewed, and I cordially agreed. I ran to my hotel room and gathered my equipment and returned to the recording studio to interview the man I thought I would never meet.

BN: Jinzo, I must say, I never imagined to see you here. Your ghost looks so life like!

BL: Why, thank you.

BN: So, what is it like being a ghost?

BL: Well, it's great! I can go anywhere I want, and I can make myself invisible if I want, I can fly, the possibilities are endless!

BN: Very cool. If I recall correctly, you were a very avid Christian on earth. Why haven't you gone to heaven?

BL: Well, there are some things going on that I needed to see corrected before I felt I needed to go to heaven.

BN: Like what?

BL: Well, after I died, I realized that a former member of Runtime Error abused his power by editing my will without my consent, and taking a majority of the fortune for himself.

BN: Oh, really? How do you know this?

BL: Well, I decided to visit him before going to Heaven and I heard him yelling it from his mansion balcony. I'm surprised no one heard his yelling...

BN: Which Runtime Error member was it? Steve Lukather?

BL: Oh, no. I won't say his name. I'd rather the FBI discover it for themselves. Their morale is a little low at the moment.

BN: I'm British, so I really wouldn't know about that.

BL: Oh, I understand. However, if the FBI is reading this article, follow the hat.

BN: Follow the hat? What does that mean?

BL: Oh, they'll know.

BN: Anyway, word on the street was that you and Joey Cosentino had reformed Runtime Error and recorded an album? The band has been reluctant to release the album since you died.

BL: Oh yes. To my current band mates, I say release the album.

BN: So, that was the last album you ever recorded. Is there anything special on the album that you included that could make this your most epic album ever?

BL: Well, Joey's writing has definitely improved over the years, and it really shows on the album. Antony's creative use of keyboard effects has given us a sound we've tried and failed to achieve over the years. I would say this is probably one of my favorite albums I've ever worked on. Also, secretly, on the title track I wrote, after my death, I included a secret message that can be clearly heard when playing the track backwards.

BN: Wow, I really look foward to seeing this album. Now, what do we expect to see you doing over the next while? What plans do you have for here on Earth?

BL: I probably won't leave until the Changed Will issue is fixed. Until then, I'll probably be secretly stepping in to make sure the investigation goes my way, such as making sure incriminating evidence is found, pushing people in the right direction, etc.. I have my work made out for me.

BN: I will definitely be looking out for the upcoming trials. So, to those who read this article and don't believe that I've truly talking to you, what do you say to them?

BL: Well, because I've been trying to convert Christians over all of this time, I tell them to believe what they want to believe. But the truth will reign supreme in the end.

BN: Well, this has been a pleasure talking to you for the first time, and hopefully the last.

BL: Yes, I hope to get off to Heaven as soon as possible. I caught a glimpse of it just before coming back to Earth. I cannot wait.

At this moment, Jinzo disappeared. I ran back to the hotel and wrote up this article as fast as possible. I left nothing and editted nothing out of the interview. I hope other Brandon Lehman fans enjoy this article.

Dr. Nekyll

radio

BL: Well, after I died, I realized that a former member of Runtime Error abused his power by editing my will without my consent, and taking a majority of the fortune for himself.

All of it, before you died.

BL: Well, I decided to visit him before going to Heaven and I heard him yelling it from his mansion balcony. I'm surprised no one heard his yelling...

Childhood treehouse.

BL: Oh, no. I won't say his name. I'd rather the FBI discover it for themselves. Their morale is a little low at the moment.

Paid off FBI/CIA/MIB/British equivilants.

All of it, before you died.

that was meant to be taken as "after I died, I discovered that someone had editted my will..."

Paid off FBI/CIA/MIB/British equivilants.

they used it all on food and forgot who had given it to them

I gave them more.

And, besides, you have to forgive me, or your Christian God will condemn you to Hell.