kingdom hearts

Okay, so Kingdom Hearts III is apparently going to come out this year. Since I've known for years now that I'm going to die in my sleep the night before it comes out, I'm going to request that someone play this game in my place and complain about it.


HERE IS THE ONE AND ONLY 100% PERFECT GUIDE TO PLAYING THE KINGDOM HEARTS SERIES:

Game 1: Kingdom Hearts (PS2)
Some people will say to play the Final Mix version that was released on PS3. Don't. Final Mix adds all sorts of dumb bullshit enemies that absolutely ruin the game. The second district of Traverse Town is a great grinding spot in the original KH1, but in Final Mix, it's home to the "instant kill always and forever baybee" enemy. Like, it's a guessing game where if you guess wrong you die instantly. Terrible version.
KH1's gameplay may not be the best in the series, but its story certainly is. It is 100% worth a play.


Game 2: Kingdom Hearts II (PS2) OR Kingdom Hearts II Final Mix (PS3/PS4)
Final Mix in this case is all-around a superior version, with ONE IMPORTANT EXCEPTION
After leaving Hollow Bastion for the first time, you'll see a cutscene in a white room. SKIP THIS CUTSCENE IT RUINS THE TWIST
KH2's gameplay is fucking perfect MAKE SURE you play it


YouTube time:
Watch the cutscenes from Kingdom Hearts Chain of Memories
It's a shit game, and Sora forgets about it completely in KH2. Watch its scenes after KH2 so you're on the same page.


Skip:
Kingdom Hearts however many Days
It's terrible, and no one in the game remembers it happens.


Game 3: Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep (PSP/PS3/PS4)
This is a prequel that's the most important non-numbered title. The gameplay is just okay.
Do the characters' stories in this order: Ventus, Terra, Aqua
Terra feels awful to play as
Also, use this:
http://www.destinyislands.com/games/bbs-fm/melding/


Game 4 (optional): Kingdom Hearts re:Coded (DS)
This game's plot doesn't exist, and nothing happens. But it's pretty fucking fun. The best handheld game by far.


Game 5: Kingdom Hearts: Dream Drop Distance (3DS/PS4)
The final stop on our tour. This game is basically Kingdom Hearts 2.5 (not to be confused with the KH collection actually called Kingdom Hearts 2.5 Remix)
It's Birth by Sleep gameplay again for the most part, now with NeoPets
If you didn't like BBS's gameplay at all, just watch the cutscenes on YouTube


NOW YOU'RE READY FOR KINGDOM HEARTS III
MAYBE
they can't seriously assume anyone will play that weird mobile MMORPG right