EPYSODE ONE:
"on episode we are having today we will be having conversation with president of hell, len; i am welcoming you to doctor vladimir show; i am doctor vladimir and now over to lovely assistant, kathy" "thanks doctor vladimir; len how does it feel to be on this show" "horrible; your sense of interior design is lacking" "hey it wasn't my idea to use beef jerkey as drapes; that was all jakey's idea" "no that is the only thing that works; it's the cardboard rugs i hate" "YOU, SIR, HAVE NO TASTE" "... w-what" A single tear streams down Len's cheek. "t-that can't be true" "if you had taste, you would realise that cardboard was rated 'most stylish carpetting' by kathy magazine" Kathy holds up this month's issue of Kathy Magazine, which features a ten-page spread on the wonders of cardboard. "my whole life is a lie" "that's the spirit" Kathy pushes Len onto the set, and he shambles over to the chair next to Doctor Vladimir. "so len how is life" "awful" "already on first episode we are getting shocking revelations; tell why life is awful" "i just learned that i have no taste" "but president of hell is known for taste" "it was all a lie; i contradicted the world's foremost publication on taste, kathy magazine" The crowd gasps in horror. "i-i said the cardboard rugs were awful" The crowd begins to throw tomatoes at Len. "i am just washed up" Len sighs, buried in tomatoes. "and that is all time we are having today; be joining us next week when we are tackling issues that hit harder; for self and kathy; i am doctor vladimir; be having good night"