Valentine's Day Special 2012

VALENTINE'S SPECIAL AND SHIT:
"eif you will never be able to forgive yourself if you do not go through with this" "old" "and neither will i" "fuck" "go eif go" Michelle watches as Eif nervously walks up to Amiee :3. "um hello amiee :3" "oh hi eif" "um how-how do you feel" "i feel pretty kawaii desu" "that's cool yeah cool" Eif casually begins to drip with sweat. "so amiee :3 would you like to consider to possibly maybe be my valentine" "i'll consider it" "oh okay" Eif limps back to Michelle. "she said she'd consider it" "oh dear"
In the next four-to-six weeks, Eif receives a letter in the mail. "dear eif i would totally like to be your valentine but first you must fill out these forms" "sounds legit as fuck" Eif fills in the form with his date of birth, credit card number and signature. "wow that was easy" "great now we're married" "WAIT WHAT" "just kidding anyway mail this form to jakey and i'll get back to you" "sweet" Eif puts the form in the mail and casually dances all the way home.
In the next four-to-six weeks, Jakey receives a letter detailing Eif's credit card information. "my plan worked!!!" "what plan i wasn't privy to any plan" "oh i just committed fraud" "oh sweet" "let's go shopping!!!" "as a girl i am rather fond of shopping" Jakey and Michelle head to the mall. "oh shit it's eif" "oh hey eif over here we are over here hello eif how are you" "i'm great michelle" Jakey casually begins to flood the mall in sweat. "so jakey i see you're rather wet today how's that working out for you" "oh y-you know" "well that's cool" "now if you'll excuse me i need to use eif's credit card to buy food for me" "oh all right" Jakey casually runs as fast as he can to McDonald's. "what a normal conversation we just had" "hey it's me amiee :3" "oh hey amiee :3 i mailed the form in" "..." "..." "i do not remember any form" "..." "..." "fuck" "anyway i will totally be your valentine" "awesome when's valentine's day" "my watch says right now" "..." "..." "excuse me while i head to hallmark" "okay" Eif casually sprints to Hallmark. "what a normal thing for someone to do"
"okay um um let's see oh fuck the chocolates are gone well i can still ge-oh the flowers are gone too well um um um" "hello" "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" Eif casually panics and pepper sprays Amiee :3. "ow this is quite painful" "why does life suck so much" "how did you know i have a pepper spray fetish" "i did?!" "you are my favourite naked, valentine" "gosh" Then A HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHT
Taylor leaps at the harlequin foetus knight, slicing him in half. Bran runs towards the harlequin foetus knight's head, sword grinding against the ground. Bran releases his grip on the sword, sending it flying at the harlequin foetus knight, decapitating it. Jakey and Eif play strip poker. The harlequin foetus knight laughs, undamaged. "oh man it's gonna take some heavy firepower to take this guy on" Adrian runs to the other side of the room, and gets struck by a bolt of proud. Anal shoots from Mercutio's hands at the harlequin foetus knight, destroying it instantly. "phyllyp stop attention-seeking" "but guys i didn't even do anything" "old"