Jakeyadventure TO SEE A MARCHING BAND
Number of posts : 13949 Age : 30 Registration date : 2007-12-29
| Subject: A Heavenly Thing FAQ Thu Aug 10, 2023 5:57 pm | |
| A Heavenly Thing, the 36th entry in the A Thing series https://ye-ye-ye.forumotion.com/t1877-a-heavenly-thing-2027DATE WORD DOCUMENT WAS CREATED: 27 May 2023 DATE STARTED: 03 August 2023 DATE FINISHED: 10 August 2023 the single fastest turnaround on a whole thing i wrote 21 missions in one day fucking BLACKJACK boy normally, there's a lull in the middle of a thing, but i was on fire this time no, i have never watched wrestling that ending joke wasn't there originally; i added it after i went through the characters list and saw that i never put Timera in the story i like this ending better anyway so it's all good (it originally cut off after the first 'take me home') maybe it should have ended with A Thing of Beauty, but I absolutely love this world and these characters 03 Aug: 001, 002, 003, 004, 005, 006, 007, 008, 009 04 Aug: 010, 011, 012, 013, 014, 015, 016, 017, 018, 019, 020, 021, 022 05 Aug: 023, 024, 025, 026, 027, 028, 029, 030, 031, 032, 033, 034, 035 06 Aug: 036, 037, 038, 039, 040, 041, 042, 043, 044, 045, 046, 047, 048, 049, 050 07 Aug: 051, 052, 053, 054, 055, 056, 057, 058, 059, 060, 061, 062, 063, 064, 065 08 Aug: 066, 067, 068, 069, 070, 071, 072, 073, 074, 075, 076, 077, 078, 079, 080, 081, 082 09 Aug: 083, 084, 085, 086, 087, 088, 089, 090, 091, 092, 093, 094, 095, 096, 097, 098, 099, 100, 101, 102, 103 [BLACKJACK] 10 Aug: 104, 105, 106, 107, 108, 109, 110, 111, 112, 113 FUN FACT: originally, the olympians were introduced far, far earlier in the story then i realised that that was stupid and came up with an even dumber idea that i ultimately went with here are the two original missions that introduced the olympians: spoiler alert for what their personalities will be for the inevitable goddess things - missions 036 and 037:
Mission 036: Didn't Expect That [Piper] "hey piper, you called?" "yes um so first: hello" "hello" "um second: i have been selected to give you a message" "by the other angels?" "no, from our bosses" "god?" "kind of; god and jesus are my bosses' bosses" "i can tell this is going to be a theological nightmare" "yeah so um you ever seen hercules?" "yeah, he can go the distance" "right, so the greek goddesses are apparently real" "okay, and?" "and they're mad" "mad?" "at you, specifically" "what did i do?!" "nothing" "yeah that's kind of my trademark" "you are apparently the chosen hero who will defeat the demonesses, and like all your chosen hero ancestors before you, you have done absolutely nothing when faced with dozens of demonesses running simply amok" "i don't know what they expected" "yeah well they're on their way here to take matters into their own hands" "doubt it" "what" "i think it's something about the earthly air; no matter how ambitious you may be, you just kind of meander and accomplish nothing for years and years on end" "no, i think these goddesses are the real deal" "fine, give me the QRD" "well-" Just then, a bolt of lightning strikes between Jakey and Piper. "NO QRD FOR YOU TODAY, MORTAL" In a golden brume, a heavenly figure appears. "foolish, meandering mortal; bow before the queen of-" "hell, yes; eleatrice, knock it off" "jakey that's not eleatrice" "yes it is; she just dyed her hair blonde and got a new outfit" "..." "..." "fine; lesser angel, give him the 'qrd'" "each of the goddesses is a direct counterpart to the major demonesses; while the demonesses each represent one of the thirteen deadly sins, the goddesses each represent one of the thirteen heavenly virtues" "so the queen of the gods is just blonde eleatrice" "pretty much, yeah; her name is hera" "and this hera is based on eleatrice rather than the usual queen of hell, jezzie, because?" "eleatrice was always destined to be the one true queen of hell; it just took a while to happen" "seriously? who's the counterpart to jezzie then" "aphrodite, the goddess of love" "seriously?" "i don't make the rules" "enough; this 'qrd' ceased to be quick long ago" "so hera-" "don't you dare let my heavenly name grace your lips, mortal; i am to be referred to as 'your heavenly majesty' or not at all" "so, HERA. what is even your plan here on our flat earth?" "insolent mortal-" "come on, we don't have all day, hera" Hera attempts to smite Jakey, but his recent tenure as King of Hell makes him unsmitable. Hera sighs and relents to the question. "i plan to conquer hell and eradicate every demoness from the earth" "i'll believe it when i see it" "you don't believe me? then come and i shall show you" "eh maybe later" "m-MAYBE LATER?!" "yeah when i get around to it; i've got to take michelle home now after that huge exposition dump" "compared to the queen of the gods, this 'michelle' is insignificant-" Michelle backhands Hera across the face. "take me home" [reward: respect +/Hera missions/Eleatrice missions/Jezzie missions/Aphrodite missions]
Mission 037: As If There Were Any Doubt [Piper] "hey piper i hope hera didn't come down on you too hard after michelle's backhand" "she hasn't said anything since" "good; she needed to be put in her place" "she's the queen of the gods" "and michelle is the princess of canada; basically the same thing, except canada is far more respected than olympus as a country; i don't even know where olympus is" "hera has parked olympus to the west of mojavistan for the time being" "oh convenient" "i'll say; anyway, could i get your help? one of the goddesses keeps harassing me and it's pretty annoying" "who is it" "athena, the goddess of wisdom, the counterpart to-" "wait let me guess; wisdom, eh? wynne seems pretty wise" "it's not wynne" "lilith?" "no" "well it's surely not gremory" "perish the thought" "echidna?" "no" "irona?" "it's icelia" "ICELIA?!" "please just go and talk to her so she won't be talking to me" "fine fine" Jakey heads over to Olympus and finds Athena pretty easily. "are you athena?" "yes, mortal; athena stands before you, the wisest and most beautiful goddess" "i never thought icelia's counterpart would wear such a short skirt" "and hide athena's beautiful legs from the world?! perish the thought" "do you always have to refer to yourself by name?" "to let athena's glorious name be obscured by pronouns would be the greatest of greek tragedies!!! athena would sooner sign over olympus to the demonesses!!!" "do you have the power to do that? i heard hera was queen of the gods" "hera may think she is in charge, but everyone knows athena is the real queen of olympus" "oh god it's true; there are two icelias" "icelia? oh~hohohohohohoho~!!! that demoness may be athena's counterpart, but she is nothing compared to the beauty, radiance, wisdom, and magnificence that is athena!!!" "this is the single most terrifying thing i've ever witnessed" "yes, athena can imagine it would be terrifying to meet the pinnacle of perfection; knowing that you will never be able to climb to even two levels below athena" "i'm um going to go take michelle home now" Jakey grabs Michelle under his arm and runs off. "take me home" [reward: respect +/Athena missions]
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