Pokémon Masters EX

Be sure to first read the other entires in the Pokémon series posted above this one in the navigation menu.

GREEN:
Green is making her championly rounds, inspecting every gym in her region, as all champions do. Finally, she makes it to the one she's been dreading: the Vermillion City gym. "okay lt. sergio surge; i tasked you with creating a new gym gimmick (or 'gymmick' if you will) because everyone keeps making fun of us for our trash can gym; what have you come up with" "i've upgraded the trash cans to dumpsters" Green slaps her face with her hand. "any ideas that do not involve garbage" "toilets maybe?" "sergio, people do not want to stick their hands in filth" "that's how i filter the wannabes from the real trainers" "you're fired" "you can't fire me" "i can; it's in my job description" "who do you have to replace me huh?" "i know a local guy who's been wanting to make a rapidash-themed gym for a while now" "we already have a fire-type gym" "he'll use galarian rapidashes; those are fairy-type" "f-FAIRY-TYPE?! no way am i letting some fruit change MY gym to fairy-type" "then last chance: come up with an idea for a gym that doesn't involve trainers rooting through muck" "fine i'll make something with creating a complete electrical current with wires" "attaboy"

CRYSTAL:
Crystal lounges around Misty's gym with her two friends Green and Serena, as they usually do on a Monday, or any other day for that matter. Their lounging is disturbed when a slightly younger girl walks in. "get out" Green begins hucking empty Pokéballs at the intruder, whom only Crystal recognises. "lyra, what is it this time?" "crystal i want - no - NEED to learn from you!!! i surrender myself to your teaching!!!" "well uh before i agree to anything, you need to lose the mario getup" "m-mario?!" "yeah no one could pull that outfit off" "CHALLENGE ACCEPTED" "green?! that wasn't a-" "you, laura, disrobe" "wha-" "just do it lyra" "r-right here?!" "it's a pool; we're all in bikinis so we won't see anything of yours that you aren't seeing of ours" "f-fair enough" Lyra disrobes in front of the three champions, and Green hustles to the changing room with Lyra's clothes. "why couldn't i have used the changing room" "oh hush" The girls wait a while, and Green enters wearing Lyra's outfit. "..." "..." "fine here you go" Crystal hands Green a crisp fifty Pokémon fun bux note. "thank you muchly" "s-so um" "yeah let's go clothes shopping i guess" "can i have my clothes back at least" "no, they are green's clothes now" "b-b-but-" Crystal drags Lyra out of the gym and to the nearby boutique, where everyone stares at Lyra's indecency. Soon, they come out with a brand new ensemble for Lyra. "so what do you girls think? is it the best or is it the best?" "crystal are you colourblind" "m-maybe" "let's try this again please; your outfit is so loud that it's burning my retinas and making my ears ring" "my skin feels like it's melting in here" Green leads Lyra back into the store, blinding all the customers. Soon, they emerge with an outfit that doesn't sear the retinas. "so what does everyone think of this one" "just a second i need to look through the bottom of my eyes because they're all blotchy like i was staring at the sun" Serena tilts her head back and catches a glimpse of Lyra's newest outfit. "i like it; it doesn't blind me" "i liked the other one better; yours is just white" "it's baby blue" "never heard of it"

MAY:
Having nothing else to do, May decides to catch and raise some Pokémon. She raises up and evolves a Ralts, a Cacnea, a Trapinch, a Snorunt, and a Wurmple. Soon, she receives a mysterious letter in the mail. "'dear beautiful lady, i am writing you this letter because i saw you out the other day with froslass and dustox; you are simply a gorgeous sight and i would like to ask you on a date; also i am rich and have a personal trumpet factory to make me the finest trumpets the world has ever seen - rich boy winston'" May ponders and ponders, and eventually decides to hear this guy out. She sends a letter inviting him over to her place in Pacifidlog Town. Eventually, the day comes, and May is all dressed up and ready to date. A knock is heard. "coming!!!" May opens the door, and a handsome rich boy appears in front of her, carrying a bouquet of flowers inside a trumpet. "hello there; are you rich boy winston" "yes indeed i am" "hi i'm may" "um yes hi" "what's wrong?" "aren't you supposed to fetch my date for me?" "i am your date" "there must have been some misunderstanding; the letter wasn't for you" "what" "it was for that beautiful gardevoir you serve" "WHAT" "your mistress, the lady gardevoir, is simply the most beautiful creature on this planet" "my MISTRESS?!" "yes; aren't you her maid?" "WHAT" "you introduced yourself and said 'hi i'm maid'" May's anger reaches its boilingest point yet, and she slams the door in Rich Boy Winston's face. May then pulls out her phone. "hello, police? i've got a trumpet-hater outside my house right now; i think he's going to destroy my trumpet collection" The entire Hoennese SWAT team barrels in on Rich Boy Winston as May watches through her window, sipping her favourite tea.

DAWN:
"okay dawn i've got a date tonight so i've hired a babysitter" "wait WHAT" "listen i can't stay a single mother forever you know?" "what?! you're a mother?!" Cynthia sighs. "dawn have you really not noticed" "no?" "i can't have children of my own so i've been pretending you were my daughter" "WHAT?! i thought you were trying to date me" "WHAT?! no, we're both girls silly; girls don't date other girls" "yeah that's why i kept pushing you away" "oh um fair enough" "but if you were pretending to be my mother, why were you always trying to get us both to sleep in the same bed all the time" "i slept in the same bed with my mother until i was 23" "that explains so much" "so um now that we've cleared up THAT misunderstanding, would you please let me continue pretending you're my daughter" "okay yeah" "great!!! now i'm off to find you a father" "never had one of those before" Just then, the doorbell rings, and Cynthia's date has arrived. "hello steven; where are we going tonight" "the olive garden; i hear they use real olives in their oils" "wow" As Cynthia and Steven leave, Dawn's babysitter arrives. "oh yeah dawn be good for the babysitter" "wait I'M 20!!! I DON'T NEED A-" Dawn sighs. "have fun" "will do!!!" Steven Stone's convertible speeds away as Dawn's babysitter enters the house. It's Dawn's actual mother. "hi" "hey"

ROSA:
Rosa enters the film studio in costume, excited to record her next scenes after a nice sleep. "YO HO HO I BE READY TO BE FILMIN THE NEXT SCENE ARRRRGH" "um rosa? what are you doing" "i be playin my character ye scurvy scallawag" "did you not receive the updated script?" "u-updated script?! shiver me timbers" "yeah your character has been changed from a pirate to a salsa dancer trying to make her style of dancing accepted on the mean streets of kalos" "is this even the same movie any more?" "oh yeah yeah don't worry; you'll love the new script, honest" Rosa reluctantly grabs the new script and thumbs through it. After reading all her lines, tears begin to flow from her eyes. "I WILL MAKE ESMERALDA THE GREATEST SALSA DANCER IN HISTORY" "that's the spirit" Rosa heads to her dressing room to change from her pirate costume to her salsa dress. "okay i'm ready to film" "what in the world are you wearing?" "m-my salsa dress?" "have you not seen the latest script revision?" "wh-AGAIN?!" "yeah your character is no longer a salsa dancer; she is now the personal assistant to a washed-up hockey player who needs to lead his team to victory one last time" "i'm out of here" "come on at least give the new script a once-over" "no way; i am going to go make my own movie about a salsa-dancing pirate and i won't let you jerk me around like this" Rosa pulls out her phone. "viola? it's me; get me some film equipment, some honey buns, and cast me some actors and actresses who can sing and dance and look good in buns; i've got a script to write"

SERENA:
Serena sits beside the pool in Misty's gym, with her friends Green and Crystal. "hey i just had an idea" "what is it" "what if i wrote both of your biographies!!! you've had exciting adventures, and i took a writing course down at the pokémon center" "uh we already have authorised biographies" "wait what" "yeah that guy who says 'YO CHAMP IN THE MAKING' wrote them" Green and Crystal hand Serena copies of YO CHAMP IN THE MAKING: The Green Story, and YO CHAMP IN THE MAKING: The Crystal Story. "huh" "i assumed you knew" "my gym friend never asked me to make a biography" "well to be fair you've been away from kalos for a few years now" Serena pulls out her phone and uses the camera she'd installed in her office to see that her substitute has a pile of unread mail. "see it's probably in that stack" Just then, Drasna enters Serena's office. "hello champion how's life" Serena speaks into her phone, her voice coming out of the speaker behind her substitute. "hey drasna can you look though my mail for a letter from gym friend and forward anything to the cerulean city post office" "can do miss champion" Drasna hums about the room as she browses through Serena's letters from her mother, Shauna, Bonnie, Shauna, Professor Sycamore, Shauna, Trevor, Shauna, Siebold, Shauna, and finally, Gym Friend. "all right i'm off to the post office" "thanks you're a peach" Shortly after, the mail Dragonite arrives at the post office with Serena's letters. "that was fast" Serena pores over her letter, and signs it with her approval. Within seconds, the book is on the shelves, having already been written. Serena receives her complementary copy of YO CHAMP IN THE MAKING: The Serena Story. The cover image is of her substitute. "oh dammit" "that's what happens when you aren't present for the photo shoot" Green reveals her book's centerfold, a beautiful picture of her in her bikini, and Crystal does the same, with similar results. Serena nervously opens to the centerfold, which is of her substitute in a bikini. "GODDAMMIT"

LUNA:
Lusamine enters Luna's office, carrying a big crate. "check it out luna the new pokédexes have arrived, fresh from kalos" "kalos?!" "yeah you know bonnie from that game show? her brother made it" "wow" "now we just put a rotom in there and viola it's turning on" "HELLO I AM THE ROTOM POKéDEX!!!" "he's very loud; can we turn him down" "I TAKE PRIDE IN MY LOUDNESS!!!" "is this the invention's fault or the rotom's fault" "only one way to find out" Lusamine puts two more Rotoms into Pokédexes. "HELLO I AM THE ROTOM POKéDEX!!!" "HELLO I AM ALSO THE ROTOM POKéDEX!!!" "HELLO ROTOM POKéDEX BROTHERS!!!" "oh god turn them off" "i uh don't know how" "HEY LUNA!!! WE SHOULD GO FIND POKéMON!!!" "I HEAR THERE'S A RARE ONE IN THE BUSHES OUTSIDE COURIWAY TOWN!!!" "c-couriway town?!" "IN KALOS!!! LET'S GO!!!" "lusamine help" As the Rotom Pokédexes drag Luna away, Lusamine smashes them with a giant sledgehammer. "oh god thank you i thought i was a goner" "no one takes my new beloved daughter away without her consent!!! that is a crime!!!" "indeed it is" "now let's go out for ice cream" "oh boy"

GLORIA:
Gloria sleeps soundly in her new house she'd built on the Isle of Armour, the one place she likes more than any other in Galar. She is rudely awoken, however, by a water gun from the rafters. "squirtle squirt" "good god" Gloria grabs her phone and dials pest control. "pest control? it's an emergency" "what is it? rattata? weedle?" "no worse; it's squirtle" "be careful ma'am; the squirtle species is very disgruntled after being passed over constantly for cooler pokémon" "can you please send someone to the isle of armour" "our water-type specialist will be right over in four-to-six weeks" "FOUR-TO-SIX WEEKS?!" "well nessa is very busy, running the gym and all" "have you ever thought to have two or maybe three water-type specialists?" "that's a good idea miss champion; we'll start the hiring process" Pest control hangs up, leaving Gloria alone to deal with the Squirtle that is currently waterboarding her. "i suppose i'll just have to introduce the squirtle's natural predator GO BULBASAUR" "BULBASAUR" Bulbasaur whips and whips with his vines, but Squirtle charges up an ice beam to deal with the threat. He then proceeds to stick out his tongue at Gloria. "i do not appreciate your cheek; GO CALYREX" The King of Bountiful Harvests arrives atop his ghostly steed, and punts Squirtle out of the building. Gloria immediately begins drawing up plans to leave live wires exposed around the house in order to stop any Squirtle in its tracks. Gloria begins exposing the wires, and Klara is immediately electrocuted. "i should have done this months ago"

MISTY:
Misty, on a brief break from gym leader duties, visits her longtime friend Brock in Pewter City. "UGH I HATE THAT CHAMPION GREEN SO MUCH" "why?" "she's always hogging my gym" "but she built you a new one" "and it's in a simply terrible location!!! the cerulean cape is just so out-of-the-way!!!" "and she built you a quicker more direct path to it as well" "irrelevant" "listen misty i'm busy packing for a trip to alola so i'll just give this to you" Brock hands Misty a flier for the gym leader exchange program. "wha-" "just call up the champion and ask to be shipped out to another region" "but what if i end up in a gross region like unova" "it's either that or deal with our kantoan champion" "fine i'll give her a call" Misty dials up Green, who is floating in Misty's pool. "yellow" "yeah miss champion? it's misty; i've got a flier here for the gym leader exchange program and i was wondering if i could be exchanged" "what do i get out of it" "some other region's gym leader i'd imagine" "well kanto can't afford to lose a cute girl gym leader; we'd need a suitable replacement" "well i mean you're the one in the room with two other champions" "oh right" Green turns to Crystal. "do you have any cute girl gym leaders in johto" "we're kind of a sausage fest at the moment; i fired whitney and jasmine, so all we have really is clair and she's more sexy than cute" "what about that bugsy chick" "bugsy's a dude" "no shit?" "i was surprised too" "what about you serena" "oh i'll let you have korrina definitely" "what's her deal" "she's a hardcore lucario enthusiast" "eugh pass" "i'm not really willing to give up valerie or viola" "that's fair i suppose" "let me call up may, the champion of hoenn" Serena dials up May. "yellow" "hey may it's me serena; the champion of kanto wants to exchange cute girl gym leaders" "that's going to be a problem" "why" "the only one i could part with is winona but she would never want to work for a champion who doesn't (publicly) love trumpets" "hold on - green, what's your stance on trumpets" "not a fan" "that's not going to work then" "sorry i couldn't help" "it's fine; i'll just continue working my way down the list" Serena calls up Luna. "yellow" "hey luna it's serena; the champion of kanto wants to exchange cute girl gym leaders" "hmmm well i'll talk to-" "PICK ME PICK ME" Luna turns to Acerola, who is waving her arms in the air. "i've always been meaning to go to kanto!!! i want to see the pokémon tower" "okay we've got our winner" Luna returns to her phone call. "i can send over the ghost-type specialist acerola" "isn't she in your elite four?" "i'll move some people around" "okay cool thanks" Serena turns back to Green. "we've got a taker" "all right" Green turns back to Misty, who is being charged for the long phone call. "you're going to alola" "all right!!! i'll take it"

SABRINA:
"miss sabrina, you'd be perfect for the role in our film as a personal assistant to a washed-up hockey player who needs to lead his team to victory one last time" "yeah let's just cut this one short: the final script revision you decide on will be to make this a pirate movie" "BRILLIANT!!! why didn't i think of that?!" "i mean you would have in the future" "well what do you say brinie; will you be our star?!" "i say never call me that again and you've got a deal" "deal"

CLAIR:
Clair readies herself to take the Dragon's Den trial for hopefully the final time. "lay it on me master" "do you like pokémon" "YES" "would you hug a pokémon" "YES" "if there was a trolley approaching a fork in the track, headed straight for five pokémon tied to the track, and you could flip the switch, forcing the trolley onto the other track, upon which was one pokémon tied to the track, would you switch the tracks?" "uh y-y-y-yes?" "you sicken me" Clair hangs her head and exits the Dragon's Den, having failed once again.

FLANNERY:
May enters the Lavaridge gym, despite the fact that inspection is not due yet. She really just wants to see if Flannery has come up with a personality to use yet. May walks up to the leader's platform, where Flannery is sitting in her chair by a cozy fire, reading Green's biography. "ah didn't see you there; welcome to the lavaridge gym" "not great" "really? damn let me try again" "by all means" "okay give me a minute" Flannery runs off, then runs back in wearing a fat suit. "what in the world" "just bear with me okay?" Flannery sets up her equipment and begins running on the treadmill. The specially-designed fat suit begins to melt away, as Flannery sheds the pounds. "PUNY TRAINER!!! YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE FACING A CHUNKY TRAINER!!! BUT I HAVE BURNED OFF THE POUNDS!!! NO LONGER AM I FLABBERY!!! NOW AND FOREVER I AM FLANNERY!!! HAVE AT YOU!!!" "flabbery?" "no?" "it's uh unique i suppose" "well that's a start" "how much do those fat suits cost" "well they're imported from kalos so you probably don't want to know" "kalos?!" "yeah you know bonnie from that game show? her brother made it" "i don't think people want their tax dollars going toward fat suits" "that's fair" Flannery hangs her head. "do you have any other ideas?" "well right now i'm sad so no" "maybe your gimmick could be sadness" "that's not healthy, and has nothing to do with a fire gym" "have you considered becoming a water gym" "well then i would have the requisite sadness from having to retire my torkoal" "that's the spirit"

COURTNEY AND SHELLY:
Courtney, a former admin of Team Magma, and Shelly, a former admin of Team Aqua have both arrived at the beach at the same time by sheer coincidence. Thanks to Champion May's extensive free therapy sessions, the two have returned to their regular lives from before the contest hall ruined them. Courtney sits in the sand and builds a beautiful castle for her and Maxie to live in when he gets out of prison. Meanwhile, Shelly sits in her battleboat and stares at Courtney's sand castle through her periscope. "FIRE MAIN CANNONS!!!" Shelly presses a button, spraying water from the giant squirt guns mounted to her boat. The water hits Courtney's sand castle directly, taking out one of its turrets. "that wasn't very nice" "what are you going to do about it, maggie?!" Courtney charges out to the shoreline, but is halted by the approaching water. "face it maggie, you're helpless without your precious land" Courtney grabs a nearby squirt gun and fills it with sand. She fires at Shelly's ship, weighing it down and causing it to sink. "MAYDAY MAYDAY WE'RE GOING DOWN" "i bet my precious land is looking pretty good right now isn't it?" Just then, Shelly emerges from under the water, wearing her scuba gear, and splashes Courtney with her breeching wave. Shelly assaults Courtney with her squirt gun while Courtney assaults Shelly with her sand gun. Eventually, Courtney is soaking wet, and Shelly is covered from head to toe in sand. "I HATE SAND!!! it's coarse and rough and irriatating and it GETS EVERYWHERE!!!" "see, i love sand; it's coarse~♡ and it's rough~♡ and it gets everywhere~♡" Shelly retreats back to her Team Aqua aircraft carrier while Courtney turns back to her sand castle.

SKYLA:
On her league-sanctioned vacation, Skyla flies to the Hoenn region to see the sights. She eventually ends up in Fortree City, home to Hoenn's very own flying-type gym. Skyla enters the gym, curious about how different it is from her own. She is immediately disappointed. "turnstiles? really? where's the danger? the excitement? flying isn't about going through the terminal; it's about the DANGER" Just then, the PA system sounds up. "i resent that remark; winona airlines is 100% safe" "BORING and also FALSE" "how dare you" "anything can happen while you're in the air; the threat of death at any moment is what makes flight EXCITING and i try to capture that in my gym" "what is your gym puzzle, dare i ask" "trainers shoot themselves out of cannons to get to me" "of course; you unovans can't stand the thought of anything not having explosions" "how dare you" "now challenge my gym if you dare, and enjoy the in-flight music" A cacophony of trumpets blares over the gym's speaker system as Skyla turns her way to Winona's perch. "so you've finally arrived; you're smarter than i'd given you credit for" "enough talk, HAVE AT YOU!!!" Winona begins with her Flame Orb/Guts Swellow, and Skyla with her Unfezant. The two flying-type specialists battle and battle down to their last Pokémon. "you're not bad, but now is when i show hoenn's aerial superiority!!! GO SALAMENCE" Winona's Salamence dominates Skyla's final Pokémon, Wargle. "wha-" "and i didn't even have to mega evolve" Skyla leaves Winona's gym, defeated and in misery. She returns to her plane only to find someone has spray painted a trumpet onto the side. "GODDAMMIT"

BONNIE:
"and welcome to the lumiose gym our next contestant, samantha!!! coming to us from the faraway grenada region!!! i'm your host, bonnie!!! now for the FIRST QUESTION!!!" The lights dim as the Lumiose Gym challenge begins. "WHO'S THAT POKéMON!!!" "it's pikachu" "incorrect!!! that pokémon is none other than shinx!!!" "oh yeah i suppose that makes sense" "you're off to a bad start but you can recover if you answer this second question correctly!!! which pokémon do we pray to every night?!" "giratina" "ow the edge" "what's wrong with that answer?!" "may as well have just said yveltal you goth weirdo-WAIT is that you again nikes?!" The security Clembot removes Nyx's wig. "you were BANNED from ever setting foot in this gym again" "i haven't done anything wrong this time" "that's fair i suppose; i'll give you one more chance, but we've got to start over" "fine" "WHO'S THAT POKéMON!!!" "it's pikachu" "incorrect, it is plusle" "oh that is just bullshit; it's pikachu with some pink makeup on" "nikes do i need to call our security clembot over once again" "no need; i'll fix this problem myself" Nyx reaches into her bag and pulls out her gun. "OH NO!!!" Bonnie crouches behind her podium and hits the silent alarm. As Nyx tangles with Clembot, Clemont goes down the elevator, chuckling. "i thought we'd encounter a situation precisely like this one; THE FUTURE IS NOW THANKS TO SCIENCE!!! CLEMONTIC GEAR ON!!!" Clemont produces from his backpack a shotgun, and fires a mighty Clemontic Beanbag at Nyx, knocking her out. "and you thought shelling out for the bulletproof coating on clembot was a waste of money" "i stand corrected" Clemont disposes of Nyx's gun, and kicks her back out onto the street.

MALLOW:
Mallow has left Alola on a vacation, hoping to absorb the food cultures of other regions to create new dishes for her unnamed family restaurant. Her travels have taken her to Johto, or, as it is known globally, West Kanto. In Goldenrod City, she encounters a girl on the streets with pink hair eating a piece of cardboard. "what are you eating there?" "cardboard" "is it good?" "it's the best thing i've had all week" Whitney looks down at her feet. "by default" "oh are you one of those hobos i've heard so much about?! i thought only unova had those" "i was kicked out of my gym by the tyrannical champion crystal" "did she give you a reason why?" "she kept calling my battle strategy 'cheap-ass bullshit'" "attract?" "yeah" Whitney looks down at her feet again. "it doesn't matter any more anyway" "why not?" "my miltank is no longer with us" "what why?!" "i drank all her milk then cooked her and had steak" "was the steak good?" "it was really chewy" "yeah there's a reason we eat farm miltanks and not battling miltanks" "it's in the past now; i will soon wither away to nothing, and i welcome that" "why don't you come with me back to alola and work at my family restaurant? we'll let you eat there and everything" "oh boy what's the name of the restaurant" "n-name?" "yeah it's a business; it's got to have an identifying name so people can talk about it or even think about it properly" "i don't like your tone" "wait what" "if you're going to be that way, then i'll just hire help elsewhere; good day to you" Mallow turns and storms off in a huff, leaving Whitney behind to wither and die.

OLIVIA:
Olivia waits at the Alolan airport, waiting for the man she'd met online. "hello there; your beauty struck me from high above alola, and i had to stop to ask you on a date" "oh hello brock; glad you could make it" "and i am honoured that you would meet me here, my darling olivia" Olivia's face reddens, but her moment is cut short. "come on help me check in to the hotel" "misty can't you see i'm trying to romance here?!" "yeah yeah just like with every other girl you've ever seen" "that's not true; i haven't hit on anyone since meeting olivia" "yeah because you just met her" "no, i mean since meeting her last year online" "wait seriously?" "yes, for my young heart did not know love until my eyes met olivia; my heart has not even taken notice of any girls in the past year, for it is always thumping loudly for olivia" "how sweet!!!" "gag me" Misty storms off to find her hotel alone, while Brock and Olivia stare at the Alolan sunset.

ACEROLA:
Acerola has arrived in Kanto, hoping to see Lavender Town's Pokémon Tower for herself before assuming her duties as replacement Cerulean City gym leader. She arrives in Lavender Town and enters the sole tower in the town. "ah this must be pokémon tower; i am sensing strong ghost energies here" "this is the radio tower" "pardon?" "we bulldozed pokémon tower to make it" "oh no" "what?" "the ghosts are angry" "pfft what are they going to do? pass through us harmlessly?" Just then, the main antenna topples over. Outside, the Gengars are dismantling it piece-by-piece. "what are they doing?!" "they say that they're going to drive you out of their tower and make it a resting place again" "they said that?!" "well i left out all the expletives" "that's it; i'm calling the champion" The radio tower guy pulls out his cellphone, but a Rotom flies into the phone and bricks it. "THAT COST ME FIVE MONTHS WORTH OF WAGES!!!" The radio tower guy runs off to get help, and returns carrying Erika over his head. Erika is sleeping inside her Victreebel. "WAKE UP MISS ERIKA IT'S AN EMERGENCY!!!" Erika remains sleeping peacefully, even as she is shaken violently. A Trevenant grabs Erika's Victreebel and places it gently in his branches, kindly rocking her deeper into sleep. "WE'RE DOOMED!!!" Just then, Champion Green arrives, angry that her radio is only getting static, while Acerola swings from Trevenant's branches. "what is going on here?!" "the ghosts are angry about the radio tower being built over the pokémon tower" "i TOLD YOU this was a terrible place to build the radio tower" "well when you went missing, lance said it was a great idea" "yeah, lance fucks everything up, and i have to pick up the pieces, of course" Green begins drafting a plan for a new radio tower that isn't built over an ancient Pokémon burial ground.

MELONY:
Melony gets back home from her morning excercise routine, determined to shed some pounds so she won't be as easy a target for Gloria's groping hands. She pops one of her special diet meals in the microwave, and turns to answer the phone. "yellow" "hello: mother - it is i: your son gordie" "oh hello gordie!!! how's life" "my life has been: good" While Melony is on the phone with a special robot created in the Kalos region by Bonnie's brother, Gloria opens the microwave and begins pouring lard into Melony's diet meal. "it was nice talking to you: mother - but i must be: going" "take care sweetie" Melony hangs up and unpacks her fully-heated meal. "man i don't know what they put in these things but they taste SO GOOD and if they help me lose weight? i may just eat these for the rest of my life" Melony's ample bosom bounces as she takes a seat at her table, and Gloria is satisfied, knowing she has done this world a great service.
THE END