Pokémon ReinforcedArmour

Be sure to first read the other entires in the Pokémon series posted above this one in the navigation menu.

CHAPTOUR ONE:
Gloria's boat finally arrives at the Isle of Armour. Gloria disembarks, ready for her tropical vacation. "hey you've got to help me champion gloria" "oh boy here we go again" "i'm supposed to join the master dojo on this island, but there's a really cute girl standing outside and i get so nervous around women!!!" "and i don't count for anything?" "you're not my type" "thanks" Just then, the girl enters the boat station. "hey you're the one here for the dojo right?" "me? no it's that guy" "oh come on miss i know you're intimidated by my radiant beauty but come along now; my name is klara, and you may worship me as your goddess" Klara grabs Gloria by the arm and drags her outside. "you're hurting me" "GOOD"
"since you don't seem to understand the situation you're in, i insist we have a pokémon battle" "fine; GO CINDERACE" Klara stares wide-eyed at the fully-evolved level 100 Pokémon in front of her. "g-go slowpoke" Slowpoke is utterly destroyed by Cinderace before he even realises he's out of his Pokéball. "fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK i can't let her into the dojo!!! then people will stop worshipping me and worship her instead!!! uh uh uh ha ha i've got it" Klara turns around and clears her throat. "well that was PRETTY good i guess but you're just not cut out for this dojo" "what? i'm the champion of galar" "yeah well that simply won't cut the mustard here; you should just go home after seeing the sights, but be sure to avoid the big scary dojo over there" "that is what i was planning on doing, but i don't like your attitude" "huh?!" "i'm heading up there just to spite you" Klara slaps her face with her hand.

CHAPTOUR TWO:
Gloria purposely marches toward the dojo, but trips over a tuft of hair in the ground. "wha-" "DIGLETT!!! oh how i missed you diglett!!! thanks for finding him for me" "um no problem" "hey um i lost a few other digletts i caught and i was wondering if you could help me find them" "i'll keep an eye out" "thanks there are 151 of them total" "ONE-HUNDRED AND FIFTY-ONE?!" "yeah i figured that was a nice number to end on" "well i've got a lot of tripping in my future"
"and she just ran off!!!" "really?!" "UH-HUH!!! what kind of a pussy was that girl anyway?!" "what girl are you talking about klara?" Gloria looks up at Klara, doe-eyed. "oh are you our new dojo member?!" "yes i am; my name is gloria, you may have heard of me" "uh no" "champion of the galar region?" "someone beat leon? damn" "yeah it was on the news" "well um i'm honey come in come in" Honey leads Gloria into the dojo while Klara stamps her feet, mad as hell. "hello to you our newest pupil!!! i'm master mustard battle me GO SHINX" "now you're speaking my language GO CINDERACE" Gloria's evolved Pokémon wipes the floor with Mustard's Shinx. "wow she beat our master?!" "yeah i guess he didn't cut the mustard" Everyone laughs at Gloria's joke, except for Klara. "THAT'S MY JOKE SHE STOLE IT" "here you gloria, your new uniform" "WHAT I DIDN'T GET A UNIFORM" "oh uh here you go klara" As Mustard hands Klara her uniform, a Galarian Slowpoke snatches it and runs off at the speed of light. "uh by which i mean your first test everyone!!! is to chase down that fastpoke and get klara's uniform back"

CHAPTOUR THREE:
Gloria soon returns, carrying Klara's entire uniform. "here you go miss; it's only slightly chewed" "why THANK you" Klara attempts to keep calm. "oh ho it seems gloria's a step ahead of everyone; her reward is a choice between these two pokémon!!!" Honey trots out the two Pokémon on offer: Bulbasaur and Squirtle. Gloria is disappointed that the Squirtle isn't wearing sunglasses. "i'll take bulbasaur" "what a surprise" "no one ever picks squirtle" Squirtle turns around and marches off, having been rejected twice now; once by Serena and once by Gloria. His cousin in Kanto was only taken by default, even. It's a sad life for a Squirtle. "aw it's okay i'll raise you right squirtle!!!" "SQUIRTLE!!!" Honey and Squirtle share a big hug. "ANYWAY your next challenge is to find my lunch, some max mushrooms"

CHAPTOUR FOUR:
After returning with the mushrooms for soup and eating dinner, Mustard clears his throat. "okay so it's time for the final trial; a pokémon battle between gloria and klara" "YES I AM GOING TO KICK GLORIA'S FUCKING ASS GO SLOWBRO" "that thinking may be a bit too wishful honestly GO CINDERACE" Gloria's champion Cinderace destroys Klara's big Slowbro. "nice work gloria you have earned our ULTIMATE PRIZE" "ultimate prize?!" "yes, the GLORIOUS ARMOUR OF ULTIMATE FINALITY!!!" "oh boy oh boy" "GO KUBFU!!!" A small bear Pokémon appears in front of Gloria. "this isn't armour" "it's a metaphor" "how so" Mustard falls asleep on the spot to avoid Gloria's line of questioning. "so what do i do with it" "GLAD YOU ASKED" Gloria is taken aback by Mustard's outburst. "go out and see the world!!! come back here after you get a souvenir from each of the tourist destinations on the island" "you just want the souvenirs don't you" Mustard falls asleep on the spot again.

CHAPTOUR FIVE:
"here are all your souvenirs" "excellent; now to unlock kubfu's true potential, ascend either the tower of darkness or the tower of waters" "what if i climb both" "DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT" "wha-" "if you're going to be such an insolent piece of shit, maybe i should have given kubfu to klara instead" "i fail to see-" "i have bulldozers at the ready; whichever tower you climb, the other is HISTORY" "o-okay"
After genociding the island's Chansey population, Gloria ascends the Tower of Darkness with her Kubfu. "ah i see you have made it" "you were here already? what if i had challenged the other tower?" "no one's ever challenged the tower of water!!! it was going to get bulldozed anyway to create a better tower that people might actually want to visit" "how about a fairy tower?" "a what now?" "you know, to represent the new popular fairy-type" "there's a fairy-type now?!" "yeah it was discovered in france" "no shit? um anyway enough talk HAVE AT YOU!!! GO KUBFU" "GO KUBFU" The two Kubfus battle it out until Gloria proves that her Kubfu is the Kubfuiest and has killed the most Chanseys, and her Kubfu evolves into Urshifu for her trouble.

CHAPTOUR SIX:
After absorbing tropical rays into her sunscreen, Gloria is about to leave the Isle of Armour when she sees a strange girl at the port. "wait are you crystal? the champion of johto?" "yeah" "wow cool!!! i'm gloria the champion of galar" "hi" "what are you doing in the isle of armour" "i heard there was a unique breed of slowpoke here and as a slowpoke connoisseur i just had to check it out" "oh yeah there's one over there" "INTERESTING" Crystal rushes over to observe the Galarian Slowpoke in its natural habitat, and unknowingly comes across a Galarian Slowbro. "yes yes hmmm now for the important part: IT'S TASTING TIME!!!" "uh wait-" Before Gloria can warn Crystal of the danger, Crystal has chomped into the Galarian Slowbro's tail. She is immediately poisoned. "help" "oh fuck oh fuck oh shit oh fuck" Gloria has Urshifu grab Crystal and sprint her to Mustard's house.
"yes hmm the venom of the galarian slowbro is deadly indeed" "can we save her? i'd rather not go to war with johto" "pfft what are they going to do? throw trumpets at us?" "that's hoenn" "oh right" Mustard thinks for a moment. "which one's johto again?" "MUSTARD THE POISON" "right right well there's a certain sweet sticky fluid that can cure the poison and urshifu is great at finding it" "nice!!!" "also urshifu is great at eating it" "not so nice"

CHAPTOUR SEVEN:
"hau what are you doing here" "i'm here to help you find the certain sweet sticky fluid!!! let's go mug that applin and make some applin juice" Hau and Gloria chase the Applin to a berry tree, which the Applin climbs up. "okay gloria you shake the tree and i'll catch the falling applin" "OKAY" Gloria assertively walks up to the tree, but is attacked from above by the Applin, who unleashes his fluids on Gloria's head. "AUGH IT'S IN MY HAIR" "hmm time for the taste test" "oh no you are NOT licking my head" "fine i'll use a spoon" Hau takes a spoonful of the fluid on Gloria's head and gives it a taste. "it's not very sticky" "oh good" "we should probably go to honeycomb isle and get some honey instead" "why did we come here if you already knew about honeycomb island?!" "i wanted some applin juice"
Arriving at Honeycomb Island, Gloria immediately shakes the tree so no other creatues can get the drop on her. A gigantic Vespiquen launches an attack. "OH FUCK FUCK KILL IT KILL IT" Cinderace kills the Vespiquen, and Gloria receives the honeycomb she needs.

CHAPTOUR EIGHT:
Mustard administers the antidote, and Crystal startles awake. "I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT A GALARIAN SLOWPOKE IS POISONOUS!!!" "actually they're not; you bit the tail of a galarian slowbro" "oh!!! all right!!!" "here's an actual galarian slowpoke" "ah yes hmmmm interesting but now for the important part: IT'S TASTING TIME!!!" Crystal chomps down on the Galarian Slowpoke's tail and begins to breathe fire. "HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT" Crystal runs around in circles until someone pours moo moo milk down her throat. "i hate this region and everything it stands for" Crystal storms off, never to return to the Isle of Armour.

CHAPTOUR NINE:
"all right gloria you've passed all the trials now it's time for US to battle!!!" "OKAY GO URSHIFU" "GO URSHIFU" "that urshifu is a bit different than mine" "it is to date the only urshifu trained in the tower of waters" "oh wow" "i have regretted it ever since" "i'll bet" Despite the type disadvantage, Gloria's overleveled Urshifu rips through Mustard's team. The entire population of the dojo appears, mouths agape. "thank you thank you would anyone like an encore?" "um no thanks" "well i suppose we'll have to put gloria in the dojo hall of fame" "we don't have such a thing" "no one's ever beaten mustard before" The members of the dojo take a Polaroid of Gloria, then grab a piece of paper and enshrine her and her team in the new Master Dojo Hall of Fame.

HALL OF FAME:
Cinderace (level 100)
Urshifu (level 100)
Bulbasaur (level 10)
Meltan (level 20)

THE END