I'll Never Finish This 2: Don't Take it to Heart

yeah yeah i know rpgboot iv and viii had huge kingdom hearts things but like everything else i've ever done i thought it was terrible and i could do better
unlike the harry potter thing, i'm only going to post what is actually good because there is a lot of bad
i basically got halfway through BBS and most of the way through KH1, plus some jokes from KH2
my version of kairi has far more personality than the original



Birth by Sleep:

"go to the worlds and check out these new darkness enemies" "how many worlds" "ALL OF THE WORLDS" "but there are like 1000000000000" "okay maybe like ten or so" "that sounds a lot more reasonable" "so what are the enemies called" "unversed" "unversed in what" "their own existence" "aren't we all though? i mean how can you define the existence of man? is it just a-" "TERRA YOU WILL NEVER BECOME A MASTER LIKE THIS"

"hello what's going on in here" "hey bro you should TOTALLY steal snow white's heart for me" "i don't know..." "come on" "well okay" Terra leaves the castle and tracks down Snow White. "heyyyyy can i have your heart" "no that's an evil thing to want" "WHAT SHE TRICKED ME"

"NOW LET ME OPEN THE DOOR I AM GREAT WITH LOCKS" Jaq inserts the key into a vase.

"HELP HELP" "OH SHIT A DAMSEL IN DISTRESS" Ventus runs into the forest. "HELP" "what's distressing you, damsel" "I AM SO SCARED OF THESE TREES" "... uh yeah goin'" "wait don't no wait"
"how'd she die" "killed by some trees" "oh yeah those roots can seriously damage your foundation, and that can cause your house to collapse" "uh-" "i'll go find a carpenter to fix your house for you bro" "but-" Aqua heads to the castle to find a skilled carpenter and a lumberjack to deal with the roots.

Master Xehanort wanted to start a second keyblade war because he read all about the first one and thought it sounded rad.



KH1:

"SORA WAKE UP YOU LAZY CUNT IT'S TIME TO MAKE A RAFT" "but we have paddleboats that we use every day to get over here" "I DO NOT SEE HOW THAT IS RELEVANT TO YOU SHIRKING YOUR RAFT-BUILDING DUTIES" "why don't we just forgo the raft entirely and use our boats" "THAT IS THE STUPIDEST THING I HAVE EVER HEARD"

"WOW NICE JOB SQUALL" "my NAME is 'leon'" "what no it isn't" "yes it is look at my driver's license" Squall holds up his driver's license. "uh you just scribbled out 'squall' and wrote 'leon' in crayon" "yes" "but that isn't legally-" "yes it is fuck off"

"our king told us to find you" "we are going on an adventure" "okay, i like adventures" "however, our ship runs on happy faces and we are unfortunately out of those" "uh" "sora we are going to die" Sora smiles nervously. "HAPPIER SORA" Sora contorts his face into a horrific grin. "that's better" The rocket zooms off to a new world.

"hey look at this jungle let's check it out" "NO NEVER NO OUR KING WOULD NEVER GO TO A JUNGLE" "what how do you know" "HE IS ALLERGIC TO THEM"

"hello can i speak to the manager of the establishment" "that would be ME but i am busy preparing for the GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMES" "gaaaaaaaaaaaames?! i want to play some gaaaaaaaaaaaames" "gawrsh sora if you wanted to play some games why didn't you just say so; i bought a ps3 back in traverse town" "uh goofy i am sorry to say but-" "oh damn i've been hoodwinked"

"okay this is your final opponent he is a tough one" "..." "holy shit why is your sword covered in bandages" "..." "i mean holy shit if even your sword is injured, maybe we should call it now i mean jesus christ" "..." "dude don't cry it'll be all right i uh like your scarf"

"oh no all my honey is gone + a yellow bear is stuck inside my house hole (a standard feature in all modern dwellings) HEY YOU WITH THE STUPID HAIR GET ME SOME CARROTS NIGGA" "o-okay" "YOO HOO HOO HOO HOO" Sora turns around to get some carrots, but is mauled by a vicious tigger. "guess what niggaaaaaaaaaa my bouncing spot has disappeared and now this garden will be my new bouncing spot (specifically the carrot patch)"

"WELCOME TO HALLOWEEN TOWN WHERE EVERYTHING IS SCARY; I AM THE MAYOR" "you don't look so scary" "every week i ever-so-slightly increase the income tax rate!!!" "AUGH"

"gawrsh donald + kairi how do we get out of here; sora has the keys to the gummi ship" "WE BUILD A RAFT" "wait no i know how to hotwire a-" "I DO NOT SEE HOW THAT IS RELEVANT TO MY RAFT PLAN" "uh-" "DUCKMAN, YOU GO COLLECT SOME LOGS AND A CLOTH; WEIRD DOG GUY, YOU GO GET ROPE" "uh" Donald looks around in a panic. "HEY LOOK OVER THERE IT'S SORA" "OH BOY HE CAN HELP BUILD THE RAFT" Kairi runs over to a shadow and puts her hands on its shoulders, causing the shadow to turn into Sora. "wow thanks kai-" "OKAY SO YOU NEED TO HELP DUCKMAN GET SOME LOGS FOR THE RAFT" "but we have a-" "LESS TALKING MORE RAFTING"



KH2:

"everything you will need to know about the state of the universe and all its contents is in this book" "yeah i saw the movie; it was about a 6/10 the special effects were nice but the acting left a lot to be desired"

"i can't believe everyone abandonned me; how do they expect me to be able to build a raft on my own" "that is quite a conundrum, kairi" "hello who is there" "i know where sora is i can take you to him so he can help you build a raft" "why don't YOU help me build a raft" "i uh can't i'm uh allergic to rafts here is a note from my doctor" Axel hands Kairi a hastily-scribbled note. "looks legit"